Day 100 of MUC and day 53 of MOC, and Dame Slap smotes the 'leets righteously ...

A hundred days of Malware's unofficial campaign, but hold the bells and whistles, there's only three more sleeps to the end of MOC!

Contemplating the miracle that we have made it this far, the pond was torn in the usual way, between a former 'leet federal minister lecturing the 'leets, and Dame Slap, 'leet member of the Oz reptile commentariat, who no doubt would mention the 'leets in her column.

Was there any other member of the 'leets worth noticing? Perhaps a vulgarian former commodities broker who looted his time as a member of the European parliament?

Dreadful cad? Oh say old chap that's a bit strong.

But as always, the pond resolved its dilemma in the traditional, conservative way. If there are lessons to be learned, then the pond must sit at the feet of the mistress of all, Dame Slap, and learn the hard way ...

The Dame didn't disappoint. It took until the fifth par, but there they were, the pesky 'leets who will say anything to get power and to keep it.

These wretches treat voters as stupid and insult their intelligence, and by golly, let's have no slurs against Britain's proud history and its future. Did it need the help of the United States and the Russians in the second world war? Of course not, the proud British lion stood up against the Nazi hordes and gave them a jolly good thrashing ...

Much the same as it won the first world war and gave those damned Egyptians a what for over Suez ...

Of course in later years, as John Oliver joked, many have spent their time leaving the British and their empire, rather than endeavouring to join it ...

But let us not ponder proud British history and its proud future as an island rump adjacent to a Europe frequently cut off by fogs, for we must learn the rest of Dame Slap's hard lesson ...

Splendid stuff, leading off again with another reference to snooty and clueless elites, and what a splendid lesson to learn in relation to Australia.

It seems that there are no 'leets here.

Instead, discerning voters will turn out for a filthy rich multi-millionaire toff busy restoring copper communications to the land and organising a plebiscite that no one dares say how they will respond to ...

Thank the long absent lord there are no pesky 'leets in this wonderful country; thank the long absent lord that there are no 'leets scribbling away at the lizard Oz in aid of a bunch of Tory 'leetists wanting to keep on rorting and refusing to answer in the usual way ...

Thank the long absent lord there's no point giving these absent 'leets a little ginger and chilli at the ballot box.

And thank the long absent lord there are no pesky 'leets using simple-minded, half-arsed rhetoric about elites from their ivory-towered space where they're paid generous, some might say handsome sums of money, to blather on for Chairman Rupert ...

And thank the long absent lord things will get even better after the election, as David Pope, that dangerous 'leetist predicted in his 'leet cartoon - warning, more 'leet Pope cartoons here ...

Mmm, is there a 'leet joker in that pack?