Day 100 of MUC and day 53 of MOC, and the pond leaves no Stone unturned ...

The pond was delighted to see the reptiles disinter an ancient mariner, so long in the tooth that the pond had almost entirely forgotten he existed ...

The mariner stoppeth one of three this day to teach them an urgent lesson ...

Of course "Throw No" Stone has been throwing stones routinely at The Spectator, but the pond rarely goes there ... what would be the point?

All that could be done is simply regurgitate the entire magazine as a sublime example of extreme loonishness.

Besides the cartoons are terrible, looking as if they've been scraped from a 1950s edition of Punch magazine or perhaps a Readers' Digest someone purloined from their dentist's rooms ...

But if you ventured into that turf, you could have found a thunderous Stone laying down the rules about what to do about that cad Turnbull, who is definitively not a Liberal and in no way deserving of anything, except perhaps a stoning. Certainly not a voting...

Indeed, indeed, but back to the casting of Stone in the lizard Oz ...

But sadly this ancient relic stops short when it comes to explaining how to administer a sharp lesson, and so the pond had to revert to The Spectator ...

Indeed, indeed. Who can imagine anyone better than Bob Day to stand up for proper business practices - Bob Day defends Huxley Homes record as customers demand action - and what better way to strike a blow against Satan with the backing of Anti-gay marriage group Adelaide Arise ...

And so on and so forth, but the pond's real objection remains.

What is it about these ancient relics that they've retained no sense of humour?

These are the cartoons designed to make them laugh at The Spectator ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, pass the Rowe and the Pope and the Moir, please ... and waiter don't forget the pond likes its balsamic vinegar shaken, but not stirred ...