Reverend Fred Nile, and on a day when the spruce goose squawked, a most important survey

(Above: the Rev Fred survey, which we commend to you with all our heart. Click for a larger image, see below for details).

Lordy, the spruce goose sometimes known as Kevin Andrews has failed in his leadership challenge, leaving Malcolm in the middle to continue with his impression of the last dodo standing, on the basis of a 48 35 split which leaves him like a barn door in a gale.

But while the result might have been predictable, and the sun might be shining, it's been a dark and gloomy day on loon pond. When the main parties act in a loony way, it unnerves the real loons, who are inclined to be sensitive and shy.

All the squawking and fussing and feuding over the Liberal party leadership has driven a lot of loons away from the pond. Or under water, or into the scrub where they can hide their light under a bush.

Sure the climate change debate goes on and on at tedious length, but even the usually reliable Janet Albrechtsen has taken refuge in bank worship as a way of undermining Chairman Rudd (We can't bank on risky Rudd).

Well I guess that at a time when the Liberal party resembles the Titanic, or perhaps a leaky rowboat, and Malcolm in the middle the hapless women and children about to be pushed off the boat, then announcing profound, widespread fiscal disaster unless we worship at the feet of the wonderful banks is only mildly loopy.

A magnificently functioning economy is about to be sacrificed to the Rudd government’s desire for G20 glory, she croaks, in a passable imitation of the ancient mariner, but sadly on this day of crisis, she's pissing into the wind, and there's not even any blowback from the punters.

Besides, worship of Australian banks is old voodoo for Albrechtsen, and at loon pond, we always like the hot spicy curry of genuine lunacy to distract us from the sight of Kevin Andrews posing as a contender in a heavyweight battle, when truth be told, he should really be given the job of posing as a tumbleweed in a B grade oater (or western to you young 'uns). Even then there's the question of whether he could roll across the set on cue and with conviction ...

That's when an idle moment - surely the hand of god was involved - led me to The Tally Room, and the revelation that the Reverend Fred Nile has launched a kooky survey in Bradfield as part of the by-election campaign (Fred launches kooky survey in Bradfield):

It’s difficult to work out how this is supposed to help the CDP campaign in the by-election, beyond some fairly obvious push-polling. I don’t expect many voters will bother to respond to such a survey, and it seems like a bizarre use of resources.

Well excuse me, I think it's a wonderful use of resources, and in these dark and gloomy days, it behooves us all to help out the Reverend Fred.

Because you don't have to be a Bradfield voter to express your point of view. You can rush here online, using the very latest futurist good given technology, the intertubes, to express your point of view on such vital and seminal and important issues as to whether Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and Reverend Fred is wonderful.

Amongst some of the more wonderful seminal and vital issues requiring your adjudication, surely this is one of the most pressing:

7. Australia should employ the Fijian Navy to intercept illegal immigrants.

Sadly there's no room for my personal opinion that we should employ the Peruvian Navy, and that Tasmania should be converted into a gulag for all foreigners currently resident in Australia, but I'm surely the Rev Fred will catch up with us in time.

But you do get a chance to cast your vote on whether we should do what the Greenies want, and let any foreigner in, or instead give our migratory preference to persecuted Christians, or better yet put a ten year moratorium on Muslim immigration to keep Australia Christian.

Again I feel a little let down - no mention of the key question as to whether atheists and secularists might best be employed by being sent into the dead heart in a gulag, and given the job of turning the desert into a new garden of eden (or at least do a better job than the gulags managed in Siberia).

Let a thousand flowers bloom from their filthy perverted thinking, and any dissenters can be crushed into blood and bone to fertilize the soil.

Now idlers, wastrels, self-abusers, immolators and ne'er do wells might well request that there be a question on whether we can evict the Reverend Fred to New Zealand, but I have it on good authority that the New Zealanders might not accept him. They too take a firm stand on foreigners, especially devils with an Australian accent.

Anyway, this site naturally disapproves of flaming, and any attempted mischievous abuse of a wonderful, determined attempt to find out the heart and soul and thinking of the electorate, but all you have to do is dust off one of your old Hotmail addresses, expect it to be spammed for an eternity, and you too can answer all the questions and skew the results how you will.

I commend the survey to you.

Sadly when I attempted to help you meet the Christian Democratic Party Candidates for Bradfield (at the same locale here, I got a 404, proving once again that satan is as suspected a heartless geek with a nerdish inclination to evil. As a result, it looked like I wouldn't be able to show you the candidates you might flourish your handcrafted 666 sign at on the way to casting your vote.

Then by accident - or was it once again the hand of god which pointed the way - I took a look in my download box, and found that the advanced geeks had decided a power point presentation was the way to go, not surprising because the wily Fred has put forward a team of nine - almost enough for a decent game of beach cricket.

Well that's too many to show here, so let's just put up one, whose cavalier laughter looks inspirational. Yes, you have to admire the cut of his jib, and thank the lord for the cavortings of the Rev Fred on a day when the pond is full of squawking geese.