Chairman Rupert, the Zune, the Bing, the Google, and boycott Bing ...

(Above: black sunglasses are so cool).

Remember the Zune?

Ah children, gather around, because it was the worst of times, with the evil Apple empire threatening the brave republic with the iPod, and a rival product was needed (now you might think that with over ninety per cent of key markets, that Microsoft is the evil empire, but enough of that or you're off to the re-education camps, which include a little salt mining for recreation and fitness).

Here's how PC Authority called the Zune move:

Microsoft seems to have missed one of the essential laws of the technology industry. Many companies have their cool moments. Apple is probably the most commonly called cool, but Sony, Nokia, Cray and even IBM have had their stylish moments. But Microsoft is not, and will never be, cool. It's the IT equivalent of the your dad's fashion sense – elasticated trousers are very sensible but they'll never grace a Milanese runway.

If you want more Microsoft bashing fun, why not take a look at their Top 10 worst Microsoft products of all time, which only allows Encarta an honourable mention! In the end it boils down to a close call between Vista and Windows ME, with ME topping the list.

There's plenty of other lists out there on the full to overflowing intertubes - just google top 10 worst Microsoft products and you can have hours of educational fun and geek nostalgia for the way things were.

Oh sorry, I should have said why don't you just bing the top 10 worst Microsoft products.

Bing? As in Bing Lee? No, Bing as in how Microsoft and Rupert Murdoch will combine to bring down Google and set the intertubes right, and save the world and newspapers, and allow decent people to charge a decent dime for a decent day's work.

Did Murdoch Just Figure Out How To Save The Newspaper Industry? is the latest meme to grip the intertubes, as exemplified in Eric Savitz's piece:

According to the Wall Street Journal (which like this blog is published by News Corp.), Murdoch has had talked with Microsoft (MSFT) about a deal in which News Corp. would remove its newspaper content from Google’s (GOOG) search engine, while continuing to include it in Microsoft’s Bing search engine. The story is attributed to “people familiar with the matter.” (here)

Well we'll overlook the "has had talked" because the intertubes is no place for sub editors. As part of costs issues, and down sizing, quality control has had to be sacrificed, and we at this site pursue that task with relish and vigor. No quality control here, here no quality control (or cash for that matter).

But back to Savitz:

The story said the talks are in a very early stage, and might not result in a deal; a key issue is the price Microsoft would pay News Corp. to feature its content, which includes not just Barron’s and the Journal, but also the New York Post, the Sun, the Times of London, the Australian and various other publications. Unclear is whether the deal might also include MySpace and Fox television properties.

The Financial Times, which broke the story on Sunday, writes that Microsoft has also approached other big online publishers to persuade them to remove their sites from Google’s search index. The FT writes that “one website publisher approached by Microsoft said that the plan ‘puts enormous value on content if search engines are prepared to pay us to index with them’.”

Golly, all Rupert's minions are in a lather of excitement (you can still read the slobbering in the Financial Times in Microsoft and News Corp eye web pact, but expect a demand for payment in the process). There's a way out of the wilderness, and Microsoft will, Moses like, part the seas and show them the way to a peaceful home (like the Middle East is sooh peaceful).

The ceaseless quest for an oligopoly that can tend towards a price gouging monopoly is never ending.

Well yes, but once you stop jumping up and down, it's just Microsoft trying to buy a loyalty it hasn't earned through its product base, and for a contrasting view, why not take a look at Erick Schonfeld's Bing Tries To Buy The News:

In order to actually make a dent in Google’s market share, Bing would have to pay such exorbitant sums to so many different news companies that it would be difficult to recoup its investment. Bing certainly get some marketing buzz out of any such move, but that’s about it.

The big problem with a search engine trying to buy market share by buying parts of the news is that information spreads so quickly these days, exclusives last about 30 seconds. That information will end up on a site that is indexed by Google. Or the same news will be broken by someone else on the Web before the WSJ.com even gets to it.

Exclusive indexing goes against the Web’s inherent openness. Companies that try to curtail that openness don’t last long on the Web.

Well bring it on, and good luck with that.

This site has been part of a ceaseless, tireless campaign to put all Chairman Rupert's commentariat columnists behind a paywall immediately, and yet we see no signs of our demands being met. Day after day we're confronted by loons demanding recognition in loon pond, let out of the asylum, with no paywall to keep them captive, and day after day we capitulate to their squawking demands.

Enough already. Do the deed, get into bed with Bing, and let's see where it leads us in this crazy, troubled mixed up world.

But you can sense the leftist radicals are already feeling that the time is right to strike. Take that wretched Nicholas Kristof, in his enclave in The New York Times, with his call to Boycott Microsoft Bing (oops, typical leftie, direct link currently ends in cyber space, go to blog and scroll down, here):

Critics have accused President Obama of kowtowing to Chinese leaders, by failing to meet dissidents, toning down his criticisms and delaying a meeting with the Dalai Lama. On balance, I think that criticism is premature: Confrontation doesn’t help with China and can hurt, and so engagement becomes a fine line to navigate. The Obama visit wasn’t a ringing success, but neither was it a craven embarrassment.

For the latest craven kowtowing, we can look somewhere else: Microsoft and its new search engine, Bing.

Oh sure, Kristof slags off Yahoo and Google too, pretending he's fair and balanced and you decide, but he reserves his main venom for poor young Bing:

If you search a term on Bing that is politically sensitive in China, in English the results are legitimate. Search “Tiananmen” and you’ll find out about the army firing on pro-democracy protesters in 1989. Search Dalai Lama, Falun Gong and you also get credible results. Conduct the search in complex Chinese characters (the kind used in Taiwan and Hong Kong) and on the whole you still get authentic results.

But conduct the search with the simplified characters used in mainland China, then you get sanitized pro-Communist results. This is especially true of image searches. Magic! No Tiananmen Square massacre. The Dalai Lama becomes an oppressor. Falun Gong believers are villains, not victims.

What’s most offensive is that this is true wherever in the world the search is conducted – including in my office in New York. If Microsoft felt it had to bow to Chinese censorship within China’s borders, based on the IP address, that might be defensible. But when Microsoft skews its worldwide searches to make Hu Jintao feel better, that’s a disgrace. It becomes simply a unit of the Central Committee Propaganda Department.

But, but, billy goat butt, that sounds just like the kind of product Chairman Rupert would have a natural affinity for, bringing him and Paramount leader Hu together to forge a new and exciting and controlled and paying intertubes. After all, Chairman Rupert has long dreamed the impossible dream about China and been ready to jump through all kinds of hoops to make that dream come true (Murdoch's China dream shattered).

Now before the alliance is even fully developed, the lefties are calling for a boycott of Bing:

Microsoft apparently doesn’t want to pursue the Google solution of having separate sites – one that produces generally legitimate results (google.com) and another within China that blatantly censors (google.cn). Instead, Bing figured it would have one site and just censor all the results in simplified Chinese characters. It then compounded the problem by dissembling and disguising its policy. That’s craven and embarrassing, it betrays the integrity of Microsoft searches, and for me it’s a reason to boycott Bing.

Boycott Bing!?

Sir, you are a cad.

Well Kristof provides a link to Microsoft's response, and you can read others on the response by starting here.

But why do I get the sense that Chairman Rupert might have decided to buy his very own Zune to solve his business problems?

The upside? Chairman Rupert's empire, home of Fox News, continues to totter a little precariously on its high heeled indignation.

The downside? Loon pond will continue to be full of loons romping outside the paywall for a considerable time to come ...

It just ain't fair. Bring back the Zune!

(Below: old blackboard. They left out Bing!)