Daniel Pipes, and a 1.0 guide to 2.0 paranoid thinking

It's about time there was a law passed preventing dopeheads and academics from borrowing computer terms.

Then we might be spared the extended metaphorical thread that runs like a tape worm through Daniel Pipes ramble headed Islamists impose sharia by stealth:

To borrow a computer term ...

Right, stop that right there. You've been warned. Any further breaches will result in a fine of a thousand dollars the instance ... Now carry on:

... if Ayatollah Khomeini and Osama bin Laden represent Islamism 1.0, the Prime Minister of Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, and the French intellectual, Tariq Ramadan, represent Islamism 2.0. The former are more deadly but the latter will likely do greater long-term damage.

The 1.0 version presents a potentially mortal danger to those unfortunate enough to get in its way. From totalitarian rule to mega-terrorism, Islamism's original tactics present a potential for unlimited brutality. Three thousand dead in one attack? Bin Laden's search for atomic weaponry suggests the murderous toll could be a hundred or even a thousand times larger.

Okay, that's three grand for two paras. I've now been compelled to read the rest of this meandering fear mongering tripe, and note further usages of 1.0, 2.0, an interim release of paranoid malware dubbed 1.5, and a final use of 2.0. You do the math, but I fear that's another 4k in the kitty (and please note henceforth that k shall be used to describe computer storage devices rather than cash in the paw).

Finally in conclusion, it has been decreed that any column ending with "in conclusion", like a high school essayist attempting to impress his or her examiners, will be further arbitrarily fined a thousand dollars.

In conclusion, fascists never developed a 2.0 version, nor did communists; only Islamists have done so. Because it threatens our values and our civilisation, this evolution represents perhaps an aspect of their movement no less frightening than their brutality.

Oh dear. Well t'ching, another 1k in the kitty. Oops, and another 1k for using k for kash.

Further a suggestion that Islamists have achieved a level of brutality of a match for the activities of communists and fascists in world war II will result in a fine for another thousand dollars, not least for failing - while indulging in histrionics, wilful distortions, and shameless meaningless exaggerations and comparisons - to remember any history before 2001.

Heck we might even think of throwing in another fine for not celebrating the devoted work of devoted imperialist Europeans in leading the world to that fine conflagration, the first world war.

Further, we look forward to a tallying of the deaths recently occurred in unfortunate incidents (we hesitate to use the term war) in Iraq and Afghanistan, while talking about frightening brutality but neglecting who's got the real fire power. And used it in such an inept way that its deployment has done more to ensure a reversion to fundamentalism than could have been imagined by the most wild eyed fundamentalist fanatics when they first tugged the beard of Uncle Sam. Ah yes, I'm guessing that this is the same Daniel Pipes who in 1987 encouraged the United States to supply Sama Hussein with upgraded weapons and intelligence to counterbalance Iran's successes? (here).

Well, when arbitrary remote attacks by robotic droids are claimed to represent values and civilization, is it worth pausing to wonder about the values and civilization so represented?

Finally, and in conclusion, we look forward to your next essay, but advise against calling it 2.1.05xy.

Perhaps pick a nice name like Vista. Or if that doesn't suit, why not borrow an animal name? Islamist Jackal program, or Islamist Hound dog program 2010 pre-release? Perhaps you might like to dub your own scribblings in the same way - paranoid goose XP perhaps?

Perhaps it might even be a column on the damage done to the world by fundamentalist Christians, on an equal opportunity basis. Perhaps it might be headed Extremist fundamentalist Christians impose old testament biblical law and creationist thinking by stealth on American thinking ...

You see in World 4.0.1c, things will run much more smoothly when all forms of theocratic lunacy and crusading religionists are sent to work the land in the newly tropical Antarctica ...