Peter Costello, and still the prattling Pontius carries on

(Above: here).

It was the worst of times ... and it was the worst of times.

Because there he is in the National Times, the mast below the mast providing a retirement home for one time politicians.

Yep, that prattling ponce Peter Costello is at it again in Be firm and clear: no access by boat.

You'd think it enough that this bold entrepreneur, this strident supporter of free markets, has been flung a sinecure on a government body, a guardian angel who created the body, then made sure it was tainted by having a retiring politician stick his snout into the board trough. A quango mango super duper bureaucrat. Is there any government board now safe from politicians seeking a cushy cushion on which to park their rear?

But no, forget the gig handed to Costello on a silver platter, he's back, musing and meditating in his usual pompous way, and you have to ask, why didn't Chairman Rudd put a commercial in confidence clause into the Future Fund deal, so that we'd be spared the prattling.

Any bit of precious guano dropping from the quill of Peter Costello, which might affect the Future Fund, the government, indeed the whole Australian economy would thereby be sequestered, so we could be spared this kind of line:

The most humane way to assist asylum seekers make claims in Australia would be to use Qantas to airlift claimants from Sri Lanka or Iraq or Afghanistan direct to Christmas Island. That way no one would have to board a boat and everyone would get their asylum claim dealt with in an Australian territory.

But I have never heard anyone argue for this. It is almost as if the refugee advocates believe there should be a little bit of hardship in the process - the risk of a long voyage on a rickety boat - but not too much. Not as much as detention and assessment in Indonesia or Nauru.

Sheesh, if that's the best he can offer the debate, I'd be happy to offer him a one way Qantas ticket to Afghanistan where he can prattle on in the marketplace at a dollar the humbug word.

And then there's the obligatory washing of the hands, Pontius Pilate style.

Critics of the Howard government complained that its policy was too harsh, inhumane and brutal. If only the government were more welcoming, they suggested, the whole problem could be managed. The claims were of course nonsense - the kind of claims only people with no responsibility for the outcome could make from their comfortable vantage points.

If the government were more welcoming, more people would set out on the boat journey - and put their lives at risk in the process.

And what kind of comfortable vantage point might that be? The dozen or so board meetings in a year while holding out the paw for the comfortable stipend?

And then the defensiveness rises to a shriek:

We do know that in October 2001 a boat - given the name SIEV X - sank killing more than 350 people. No one knows for sure but it was probably in Indonesian waters at the time. There was an enormous effort to blame the Howard government for that event. The playwright Hannie Rayson even wrote a play designed to show how ministers in that government had connived in the tragic deaths. This unfortunate loss of life was taken as a great opportunity to vilify the Coalition.

Vilify, or ask for a sensible coherent explanation?

On 20 February 2002, the Australian Senate Select Committee inquiring into ‘A Certain Maritime Incident’ met for the first time. Its primary task was to investigate the children overboard affair, however its terms of reference also included investigating “operational procedures observed by the Royal Australian Navy and by relevant Commonwealth agencies to ensure the safety of asylum seekers on vessels entering or attempting to enter Australian waters”.

The committee investigated the SIEV-X sinking, and concluded that "... it [is] extraordinary that a major human disaster could occur in the vicinity of a theatre of intensive Australian operations and remain undetected until three days after the event, without any concern being raised within intelligence and decision making circles." While no government department was found to be to blame for the tragedy, the Committee was surprised that there had been no internal investigations into any systemic problems which could have allowed the Australian government to prevent it from occurring. (here)

Never mind. Why not make Sieve X sound just like a current matter?

It will be interesting to see whether the playwrights and journalists go to the same lengths to impugn the motives of the Rudd Government and blame ministers in this government for the most recent deaths off the Cocos Islands. I doubt they will - nor should they. It was a foul slur then, and it would be a foul slur now to suggest that any Australian minister would connive in such a tragedy.

No, it was simpler to connive in the locking up of women, children and anyone else the coalition didn't like behind razor wire, and then bring in private firms to dole out the punishment.

Then as you'd expect of our Pontius Pilate, after the handwashing, you throw away the bowl of water.

No Australian minister would welcome having to deal with this issue. There is no easy or soft solution. The public has an instinctive understanding of that. The object must be to dissuade people from attempting to reach Australia by unauthorised boats. To do so the Government must be firm and clear - clear enough for those contemplating a journey to understand it and clear enough to those who would transport them to understand it. Ambiguity in policy on this issue will be very dangerous.

Who'd have thought that Malcolm Fraser would be amongst the few to call this kind of dog whistling, bird calling, humbug ratbaggery for what it really is? (audio here).

Yep, Costello stirring the pot, sinking in the knife, while apparently delivering pious platitudes worthy of Chairman Rudd himself. Perhaps that's why Costello got the gig. Birds of a nest-lining feather ... but as Costello keeps skewering Rudd, perhaps in time he'll realize he's offered a cuckoo safe haven in the upper echelons of the public sector old chaps' club. And what a comfortable home that is for a fierce private sector buccaneer flying the skull and bones flag of twaddle.

(Below: more Nicholson cartoons here).