Saturday, September 10, 2016

In which the pond returns to the major Mitchell dinner party with the Bolter as companion ...

Prattling Polonius has hit on a simple trick these last few Saturdays to avoid the pond's attention.

Deplore Mao - what, the pond should attempt to redeem the Chairman? - and now deplore Richard Neville - what, the pond should celebrate a hippie flake now that he's gone, albeit in cruel circumstances?

The pond can't help but take it personally and attribute Polonius with a level of unseemly cunning. Why can't he simply join the Donald and a generous amount of Republicans in celebrating the achievements of Putin? After all at one point he seemed quite smitten by the Donald ... and that'd give the pond something to write about ...

As a result, and reluctantly, the pond has had to turn to the Bolter for column filler. 

Now the Bolter is the premiere exponent of the art of blogging filler, which is a bit like hunting out the perfect stocking filler ... we all just love stocking fillers, especially when they're pink ...

You take something printed in another part of the empire, and you publish large chunks, embroidering it with your own prejudices ...

Now never mind the strange punctuation of media.critics.

This breah of typos goes with blogging and the pond has always been dedicated to following the Bolter's lead (damn you NZ subs, damn you to Fairfax hell). The pond and the Bolter are busy people, too busy to care about the grandma nazis ...

And never mind all the righteous hesitations and the sublime hypocrisy of the idle chit chat about breahs of confidence because the Bolter is always up for a good bitchy gossip ... except, of course, when it comes to his man love for the onion muncher, which leads to the plaintive bleat "is this fair?"

The answer of course is that the only fair way is to recycle all that Mitchell said about former chairman Rudd from Queensland ... but sssh, don't go into the details about the onion muncher ...

And so in the noble tradition of stocking filler, the pond reflexively and post-ironically recycles the Bolter recycling the major Mitchell in the approved snake devouring its tail manner ... though at least it's not from the pieces previously quoted by the pond ...

At the very end of this extended reprint came this heartfelt note ...

Only the Bolter ...but in for a penny, in for a pound, the pond always says ... and this is what Jamie Walker thought was the juiciest way to open his yarn about the major Mitchell's yarns ...

Yes, there's nothing for the Bolter to see or write about here. There's stocking filler, and then there's just vast empty plains of silence ...

And that's not even including the pond's favourite anecdote ...

Oh the derriere. The pond knew it would get another joke out of that bum rush.

And in a curious way, it actually somehow leads into a wonderful anecdote about John Howard ...

But of course being a racist is a plus in the world of the Bolter. 

While being an addled onion-munching, chardonnay-swilling policy failure is just what the country needs... because as usual the Bolter is still moaning and keening and carrying on about the loss of a man who was leading the Liberal party to electoral oblivion ...

And now the Bolter wants the onion muncher to return, so that endless pundits can type endless columns headed "What have the Liberals done?"

Because it turned out that you could have put either the onion muncher or Malware into this Wilcox cartoon and it would have made perfect sense ... and sad to say, the next one to come after Malware will probably fit just as well ... but at least there's more Wilcox here ...


  1. Tony Abbott has never grown up and Rudd likes to swear.

    The 'amusing' Abbott anecdotes reminded me of the kind of stuff you hear on the bus when schoolboys clown around.

    Do we have more oafs in high places in this land than in other countries or is it my imagination?

    Miss pp

    1. Hi Miss pp,

      What is worse these oafs come like supplicants to the puffed up emissary of a so called "Sun" King, begging favours.

      It's pathetic but woe betide anybody who doesn't suck up to News. The treatment handed out to Gillard makes sense when placed against Mitchell's blokey, mates rates attitude to reporting politics. No wonder we have such a piss poor political class.


    2. Hello DW - even worse than sucking up to right-wing commentators is the near deification of John Howard by 'conservatives'. The liberals are always on the look out for the new Howard. They confuse achievement with longevity. Poor Turnbull has a much harder task than Howard who was able to recline in a hammock during the mining boom.

      I find it amusing/disturbing/infuriating though that MT still talks up free trade agreements while Clinton and Trump talk down them down.

      In truth the Liberals have no imagination and are held fast by an ideology which is dead.

      Miss pp

    3. And I always though, Miss pp, that somebody who, having been granted control of both houses by his 'party' - for the first time in quite a while, too - then managed to lose the very next election, and his own seat as well - only 2nd time ever for a sitting PM - would be eligible only for some seriously pained criticism, not praise.

      Silly me. Confusing longevity for achievement, indeed. And materially abetted by Costello's gutlessness at that.

  2. I also thought Richard Neville was a flakey old hippy, but (1) I think that's the first time I've ever seen him referred to as a "former ABC staffer", and (2) if he was, so fucking what? Why not refer to him as "former regular on the Nine Network's Midday Show"? Neville was certainly that, and it's just as relevant - or irrelevant - to his alleged sex life.

  3. Gadfly is on point today, as so often he is, when referring to Major Mitchell's semicoherent blather of Monday's columnating.

    How is it even possible that 5 days later, the same Mitchell is inserting himself hither and thither into Australian federal political history via largely tiresome and universally un-amusing anecdotes? The loons are truly off the leash at present are they not?

    Is there an actual editor in the house m'lud?


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