Sunday, June 12, 2016

Day 83 of MUC and day 36 of MOC and the pond arranges a Sunday monster marathon of reptiles ...

What to do with the ennui, the sense of tedium and boredom? What to make of the parade of reptiles on a Sunday, blathering away?

There seemed to be only one sensible solution ... organise ...

The pond yesterday read the tree-killer Saturday Terror at the car wash and marvelled that people would pay to support such an ultimate sacrifice of trees.

It would probably have been even more amazing if the pond had turned up the car wash this Sunday, and been confronted by the Sunday Terror's dynamic duo ...

As always, the pond likes to give the Devine a break, as the rhetoric eerily begins to sound like Russia, North Korea and Donald Trump (who all think they can do business together):

Hey nonny no, the carbon arc lamp is working, the projector is firing, and the Devine is pounding out the usual stuff:

Oh indeed, indeed. Who'd have guessed that the gays would take the brunt of the Devine's bigoted rage.

But it was around this point, somewhat early in the piece, that the pond began to wonder if the local defence forces' dress wear was good enough. 

Shouldn't there be more medals, shouldn't there be more gaiety? I mean, if you're going to campaign for public office, shouldn't there be gongs, lots of gongs, even a few gongs on the legs?

It seems like we're failing our politicians, and it also seems that the Devine can't pick the difference between serving politicians seeking to gain a political advantage and the defence forces seeking to interact with the assorted communities they serve - though the pond could get a tad agitated at the way you can always find the defence forces turning up in churches all over the land for sundry events and occasions.

Never mind, on we go, and no doubt all the usual hoppy Devine toads will come marching out. Surely this is the chance for some prime gay and Islamic bashing:

Dammit, the pond should have known it wasn't a matter of principle, effectively applied across all strata for all evens and occasions, it was only the persecution of a fundamentalist conservative Christian with a creationist dad and no doubt a correct attitude to climate science.

But it got the pond to brooding even more. Shouldn't, if we're heading in this direction, think about even more effective clobber for politicians wishing to parade their military prowess? There are many fine examples:

Never mind, back to the paranoid persecution:

Oh indeed, indeed, the Devine is all in favour of manly men, and fiercely antagonistic to anti-male political feminism, and no doubt favours a decent medal count too:

But enough of militarism. Just take comfort that you've been devined:

Around this point in the marathon, it's usual for the pond to note that no sensible person has to do this.

There are many other things a sensible person might like to do. They could for example sneak out of the cinema and head off to Timothy Synder's excellent The Wars of Vladimir Putin, a review of three books for The NYRB, currently outside the paywall and providing a different kind of perspective on strutting macho militarists.

The pond's business plan is self-defeating - after all, anyone who spends their time being Devined and reading reptiles is certifiably able to claim a spot on loon pond.

Those who are addicted should make sure their popcorn level is high and they've got a healthy serve of soda - the pond always recommends at least 44 teaspoons of sugar in the large cup to ensure that there's the right level of tooth rot and a chance at diabetes.

And once you've loaded up, you'll in the right mood for a little quality Peta time where we get to channel the onion muncher brooding about Malware's failures ...

Lights please, projectionist ignite the carbon arc, and remember,  we don't trust Mal, but oh, how we loved and trusted the onion muncher...

Ah, the good old 'climate science is crap' routine. 

It's always safe, it's always reliable. And now it's time for the apocalypse. Not the climate one, the senate:

Indeed, indeed, as succinct a comparison of apples and oranges as could be managed in the circumstances, and a reminder of how well the onion muncher and his entourage managed negotiations with the cross-benches, no doubt ably helped by Peta and no doubt explaining why she rabbits on in a worried way ...

Okay, the pond gets it. In the spirit of a horror movie, and because the shocks and surprises have been so tedious to date, we have to wheel out Malware grappling with a python. Snakes on a political bandwagon.

Could the horror get any worse? 

Well the tedious verbiage will continue, but can we have a visual shock? You know, like Vera creeping up behind the fruity mummy in the cellar, while the naked tungsten climate-affecting globe swings wildly through the air ...

Oh dear sweet long absent lord, it doesn't get any scarier than that. Won't someone think of the baby? The Shorten's got my baby ... (please remember your best Meryl Streep accent here).

And so to the wrap up of this horror show, which has run on far too long ...

There's something remarkably ironic in that last line - a bit like Tony Perkins saying that he wouldn't harm a fly - but for the life of the pond, we can't imagine what the irony is ...

And now, being a genuine marathon, there must be a third movie. 

By this time all but the most hardened souls will have nodded off ... and who can blame those who flee the room at the mere sight of a dog botherer splash?

Relax. The whole point of a third movie in the marathon is that crow eaters and everybody else can nod off ... or will they start in fear at the alarming sight of that man whose name begins with an X?

Ah the onion muncher. Woulda, coulda, shoulda, always a contender, a man who delivered the structures, like copper connectivity, and now it's playing out ... real copper substance, in a multi-nodal way:

Again there's that obligatory nod to climate policy ... because things are going so swimmingly with the climate.

Oh okay, it was always going to play out this way, but by now some readers must be yearning for a genuine shock, a photo up there with the snake and the baby ...

Nope. That's an actual catastrophe, not the Senate, and involving the climate, and it doesn't feature Rusty playing Noah.

Okay it's time to wrap up the horror movie marathon ...

Yes indeed, we do know the bottom line ... or a likely bottom line from both major parties, if this at the ABC is any guide: Budget 2016: Deficit likely to keep blowing out, Deloitte forecast warns.

As for the climate, routinely disparaged in this sort of horror show, we also have a guide: Paris floods made almost twice as likely by climate change, say scientists.

Never mind, things are going to get pretty rough if Rupert and the reptiles have their way with a Brexit, and the Republicans unite around the Donald, as the Rupert has urged, and Russia and North Korea manage to get their preferred candidate over the line.

But there's always time for another movie marathon. In the meantime, at least your average ordinary horror movie now looks like fun for all the family ...


  1. Talking of movie marathons and uniforms - I recommend Captain Horatio Hornblower with Gregory Peck doing his best to avoid an English accent and as well as a great trailer, El Supremo has a uniform worthy of a North Korean general! The movie deserves credit for coming up with the name 'El Supremo' as the tinpot dictator (looks like he enjoyed onions as well).

  2. I have childhood memories of a syndicated newspaper cartoon called "Useless Eustace" - a fitting moniker for the #3 comment in Miranda's piece.

  3. Mercurial - I have memories of Chickenman on our local Newcastle radio station in the '60s - Highlight of my juvenile week.

    Chickenman's rogues gallery includes the Choker, the Hummer, the Chicken-Plucker, the Dog Lady, Big Clyde Crushman, the Bear Lady, the Very Diabolical, Rodney Farber (a childhood playmate who never forgave Benton Harbor for breaking his red wagon one Christmas Day), and the Couple From SHTICK (Secret Henchmen To Injure Crime Killers).

    Benton Harbor is prone to spoonerisms, such as "I shall not rest while rime runs crampant in the streets of Midland City."

    And of course Chickenman drove a Coup.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. You and I must have a shared heritage, Anon. I too remember Chickenman. Was it 2HD? or 2KO? Or am i too old, and it was 2NX?

      Ah, the great Novocastrian culture of days of yore. YY 'n' all that. Not that it was a patch on Tamworth, as Dorothy regularly reminds us.

    3. Ah yes, I kinda remember Chickenman just a little bit - so very long ago (nearly 50 years !). But I can't help you identify the radio station Merc, because I listened in Melbourne.

      But here's a wee bit of a teaser: do you remember The Banana Splits ?

    4. Course - although I can only name of Fleagel without resorting to Uncle Google.
      But I do remember the song: 'la la la, la-la la la' and 'one banana two banana three banana four'.
      Beyond that my memory is very hazy.
      As a very young child it was Adventure Island with John Michael Howson as the clown and Liz Donovan (Jason's mum, I believe) as the host. What fine days!

    5. I think it was 2NX, but it was syndicated to many regional stations. You don't get high-class drama like this any more!

    6. Merc your memory is way better than mine (more wholesome living perhaps ?), but I do still have the Banana Splits video cassette of their entire career (and I still have the technology to play it on).

  4. "a reminder of how well the onion muncher and his entourage managed negotiations with the cross-benches" Funny how Julia Gillard never seemed to have any problems negotiating with the Xers - and she was forced to do it in both houses.

    1. Sorry, Anon, but all references to successes by the Rudd and especially the Gillard governments have long bee flushed down the memory hole.

      So just be careful, lest you be taken to room 101.

  5. DP - more movie marathons.

    Oh God bless Hedi Lamarr. She is on Gem with Victor Mature (now there's a man that could challenge Abbott to an arm wrestle.) The original Samson and Delilah is on Gem. The Danites have not had such good PR since Arthur Conan Doyle. The quotes are endless.

    God bless Victor and Hedi!

    1. Hi Anon,

      Indeed, we have a lot to thank Hedy Lamarr for;


    2. Indeed, she invented frequency-hopping. still in use; had the first on-screen orgasm, and performed in concert parties in New Guinea for our troops min WW2.

      Another unsung hero of WW2 is the novelist Barbara Cartland. She invented the towed glider used extensively for the D Day landings! Campaigned for the rights of gypsies, and set up a bank of 1,000 wedding dresses for war brides.

    3. There's also Lucille Ball (I Love Lucv) who claimed she helped the FBI bust a German spy ring by picking up secret radio transmissions through the metallic fillings in her teeth, though that one's a bit dubious.

  6. Woke up, fed cat, made coffee, thought seriously about possibility of catastrophic Islamic terrorism on a grand scale as suggested by the dog botherer yesterday.
    Made toast, decided that I should discuss how close Australia is to a catastrophic terrorist event at the girls' soccer match today, decided against it.
    Much happier when he writes about how correct he has always been about Abbott. He and I are both on solid and reasonable ground there.

    1. As a matter of interested curiousity, what did you feed to the cat ? I'm always looking for something interesting to feed mine. Other than Greenies for her teeth, of course.

  7. This about sums up the election campaign so far.

  8. This one's going to be difficult for the RWNJs to spin. A man with a muslimy name murders over 50 people in Orlando. But he attacked a gay nightclub using freely-available assault weapons.

    How are the gun lobby and the anti gay activists going to reconcile this with their anti Muslim feelings? Surely he was merely showing solidarity with them?

    1. Bad/Good shootings happen when Good/Bad people don't pack enough heat. Reload and repeat.


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