Sunday, November 07, 2021

In which the pond saved the best for its meditative Sunday, with no cancel culture here ...

 

 


Yesterday the pond spent far too much time underwater with the reptiles, and yet here we are today, heading underwater with the dog botherer. At least if he gets his cotton picking climate science way ...

Or perhaps overheating, or feeling the sublime power of gale force winds ...

Whatever. Just as the reptiles' best minds - the pond loves the odd metaverse ironical flourish - were preoccupied with subs, the dimmest bulb in the socket was sent out to deal with climate science.

Now any stray reader of the pond will have caught the dog botherer in this pose before ... all you have to imagine is not man and beast fucking, but the dog botherer doing it from behind and giving the planet a right royal fucking ...

And yes you only have to wait until the second par for a man denouncing hysterical, illogical and shameless behaviour to illogically, shamelessly and hysterically fling about Aldous Huxley and George Orwell, as hysterics are wont to do, the long absent lord rest George's much abused Orwellian name ...


 

What's funny about this? Well like a lot of others handsomely paid by Chairman Rupert, the dog botherer wouldn't be short of a quid. So when he blathers on about the wealthy, it's worth remembering that he's a stolid Adelaide burgher ...

But that's the way it usually goes, because it's easier to shear the sheeple if you pretend you're at one with the shorn ...


 

Dear sweet long absent lord, what an indignant hoot he is ... and so to a standard serve of climate science denialism, because nobody knows anything ...


 

There can be only one reason for Prince Chuck to exist outside a tampon, and that's to make life hard for the reptiles ...

But then it's been a hard time for old school reptiles of late ... as noted awhile ago in the essential Weekly Beast ...



 

Caught coming and going, what's an old school reptile to do, but howl at tampon Chuck and the lickspittle SloMo ...


 

Indeed, indeed, so many more important things than fucking the planet, and the pond it's glad it's sorted, and after a passing nod to Kudelka ...
 


 

 ... the pond can move on to the next order of Sunday meditative business, with prattling Polonius in excellent form ...















Now the pond rarely agrees with Polonius, but here's a chance to unite.

The pond has always believed in pork barreling, back scratching, personal favours for little mates, a good laugh, make sure to get in on the joke, plenty of payola, perks and perquisites, and if you can fuck your way to a shooting centre or a new hospital, where's the harm in that?

Sure, some might think of it as a little smelly, or reeking of insider payoffs, but think about it. You get some sex and some loving, and you get to splash the cash.

And yet there's always some fastidious fuddy duddy fussing around, trying to be a killjoy and spoil the fun ...


 

Ah yes, gold standard Glad, and when it comes to porkbarreling and logrolling, she knows how to roll the pork in good style ...


 

You see? She was so deeply in love, she just plumb forgot to mention her dearly beloved, or all the gifts she showered on his electorate with an imperial wave of her paw at the servile Dom, not so much a Dom as a faithful submissive and servant ...


 
 
Indeed, indeed, it's pretty much gone that way in NSW since the Rum Corps, and each side has always trotted out apologists to explain why having a finger dipped in the cookie jar was just a standard way of doing things ... 
 
You know, the sort of stuff the wealthy and the elite do as a boondoggle to stay in power, and no complaints from the dog botherer or prattling Polonius about that. 
 
Why, to complain about it would be to turn woke, and we certainly can't have woke, not when you can do what the pond did, and offer a donation to a political party, and get a street listed to be a freeway turned back into being an ordinary street.

Ain't Australia great?
 
It's the Australian way, and fully approved of by Polonius ...and if you were to slip the Sydney Institute a quid or two (just don't be a miserly Rockefeller), no doubt Polonius would know how to pay his respects ...

And so to a real problem, a complete log jam.

The pond certainly doesn't want to give the impression that it's in the business of cancelling anyone. We've already had enough cancelling this week, as noted by the venerable Meade in the Graudian ...

 
 



 

If the reptiles can cram in a complete fuckwit like Piers, then the pond must make room at the inn for reptiles.

But that meant that the pond had assorted contenders jostling for space.

It's true that Gemma is a bubble-headed booby of the first blonde water, but how could she be cancelled?

 



Of course not, no way, especially as she has a go at history, which is usually Polonius's prime turf. 

After the rarefied insights of the dog botherer and Polonius (metaverse irony again), the pond simply had to make room for a little bubble-headed boobiness ...


Hang on, the pond has a sense where the bubble-headed booby might be going. Could we have a comedy moment before starting ...


 

Thanks Weekly Beast, and now on with the bubble-headed booby ...


Um, could we turn our eye to Canada?



 

Thanks Weekly Beast, that seems to perfectly suit our bubble-headed booby ...


 

Maybe reading the likes of Gemma in the lizard Oz has turned the pond into a fuckwit - easily enough done - but it's also easy to see why the pond urgenly needed a corrective in relation to Victoria and comrade Dan and all that jazz, and who better than our Gracie ...


 

Our Gracie keeps going where other reptiles refuse to go, and that snap set the tone for the comedy stylings that were to follow.

You won't find the bubble-headed booby up to the job of appreciating this sort of Python routine...


 

Oh indeed, indeed, that last line was a ripper, and you can see why the pond couldn't cancel our Gracie, especially not after refusing to cancel the Chamberlain tripe offered up by the bubble-headed booby ...

But wait, there's more ...


 

Yes, there's nothing like barking mad fundamentalist Xians and barking mad drunks, fussing and feuding, to offer up sublime Victorian Liberal party comedy ... but sadly, all good things must come to an end, at least for the moment, at least in this final gobbet ...


 

Always the optimist is our Gracie ... but consider this. If the pond didn't cancel the bubble-headed booby and our Gracie's variation on the Victorian theme, how could the pond seriously consider cancelling Dame Slap, IPA chairman and first class loon?



Of course not ... especially as Dame Slap was ready for a cat fight of the first water. Waiter, a little jelly for the wrestling, and if none's to hand, the pond is sure Dame Slap can make do with mud, for the hurling and the slapping ...

True, there will be some who think this is yet another example of the sad decline of Dame Slap, wandering off into the ether in her attempt to do a Bettina Arndt ... but the pond always has a soft spot for loons wandering around wrecked, derelict, abandoned buildings in YouTube videos, and something of the same can be experienced reading Dame Slap ... it's just more of a Planet Janet metaverse than an abandoned mall ...

 

 

There you go, the reptiles have given up promoting "Ned's" nattering podcast, and instead are giving Dame Slap a shove, but perhaps that's the problem.

The long absent lord alone knows what demographic she thinks she's appealing to, but there's something sublimely rich about a well-heeled lawyer,  one-time married to a banker, given a good Krogering, and handsomely paid by the Chairman, and it's all off a Planet Janet's duck's back, so she put it all aside and bather on about the women of Mosman ... (the pond suspects that she actually hankers after an Eastern suburbs lifestyle, as a bare minimum).

Of course Dame Slap her own splendid, inimitable sense of style, which deeply shades those Manolo Blahnik types ...

 


 

Is there a stone in the house? The pond senses some glass windows ...

What about these, culled from the pond's back pages ...

 



 

There's something deeply weird going on, which might explain the intense bitchiness, that desire for a jelly wrestling cat fight ...



 

 

One sure sign is when a reptile scribbler starts going down memory lane and begins talking about her days as a young thing...

The pond, and a number of its correspondents, recently noted the venerable Dame's tendency to snap and slap at vulgar youff, and now she's hearkening back to Maggie and her days at one of Sydney's worst law firms, or so it was when the pond was seeking some decent lawyering ...

She's not feeling her oats, she's feeling her age ...



It's all rather sad, and even sadder, the reptiles felt the need to bolster Dame Slap with a cartoon, but the trouble with that was that all they could offer was Dame Slap being infatuated with a Leak ...


 

At the end of it all, the pond felt the need to shed some crocodile tears for a privileged IPA woman, the apple of Gina's eye, blathering on about Afghanistan, as if she cared, as if she cared about the damage done in Iraq or in any of the other wars she got behind ... 

And in the final gobbet, all that metaverse irony was wrapped in the ultimate delusion, that it's all meritocratic, and based on merit, which doesn't get to first base in explaining how bubble-headed boobies get to live on Planet Janet ...


 

Ah yes, Gina and the meritocratic way, though it helps to have a rich daddykins ...

Still, that joke about merit and meritocracy did set the right tone for a TT cartoon, with a reminder that there's always more TT here ...



 
And as TT mentioned those old comic books, why not a painting by Carl Barks that went for a squillion. 
 
One can almost imagine Gina and her inherited wealth frolicking among the coins, while a ducky Janet watches on with a quiet smile of approval ...
 




19 comments:

  1. "feeling the sublime power of gale force winds ..." On the beach at Lakes Entrance or Mallacoota then ? I was quite shocked this morning, not even a strong wind warning for the East Gippsland coast. Have the European doldrums migrated to eastern Victoria ?

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  2. Katrina Gracie on Tim "Smith": "If firing off pugnacious and adolescent missives constitutes cutting through ..." Oh, ok, so now we know why Timmy is so beloved of Onion Muncher Abbott: true birds of a feather.

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  3. Good ol' meritorious Slappy: "I worked at Freehills as a young lawyer in the 80s ... We worked hard, played hard ..." Now back in the 80s when I was still a youngish whippersnapper, "played hard" meant drinking a lot and indiscriminately fucking a lot. So that's Slappy's statement as to where her 'meritorious talents' lay, then. Or were laid.

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    1. The pond quickly discovered when it went to Freehills back in the day that it meant charging hard, and delivering fuck all ...

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    2. Yes, that'd be the usual delivery, DP. As to the "worked hard" bit, that usually meant staying in the office until late so as not to be the obvious first to leave. But I suppose it meant they could then go straight off to a "nightclub" where they could sort out who to "play hard" with that night.

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  4. While it is tempting to borrow, with slight amendments, the exchange between Smith and Finn, as advice to Polonius, we need not be so dramatic. And the INDEPENDENT COMMISSION AGAINST CORRUPTION ACT 1988 is - an Act. Not a Bill, an Act. Has been around for (checks fingers) 33 years. Sections 8 and 9 identify ‘The general nature of corrupt conduct’ and then ‘Limitation on the nature of corrupt conduct.’

    If the Sydney Institute is too cheap to buy a copy of the Act, it is readily available, free, through AUSTLII, which survived the Onion Muncher’s attempts to defund, because, my goodness, we don’t want the plebs actually being able to read the many laws that apply to their existence - far better that they get proper professional interpretation of their questions, starting at $350 the visit (one question per consultation) from their local friendly Scientiae Juridicae Doctor.

    Credit to the NSW Parliamentary Counsel of the 1980s - those Sections are easy to read and understand. Probably comfortably within Polonius’ reading/comprehension grade.

    Of course - his reading and comprehension would deprive him of most of the, er ‘substance’ of his column for this weekend, and the chance to demonstrate solidarity with the other reactionaries by trying to elicit continuing sympathy for Golden Gladys. But that was probably an easier choice than trying to interpret the Chariman’s thoughts on any of this climate caper, just now.

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    1. Hmm, you would really expect a media watch dog to understand the difference between an Act and a Bill, would you ? He's never been a 'work hard, play hard' lawyer like the Slap, has he.

      Besides, you know the drill Chad: if you're a wingnut, you're innocent of any and all charges and always will remain so. Must have pained Polonius hugely to include Bob Carr amongst the "innocent". But then Bobbsy is an honourary wingnut, I guess.

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    2. Piece of trivia - My Source pointed out to me that the ICAC Act has been around longer than the Sydney Institute. ICAC has seen a steady turnover of personnel - the Sydney Institute is still firmly in the grip of the Hendersons.

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    3. "When you're on a good thing, stick to it" ?

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  5. On O'Farrell at ICAC:
    One of the more bizarre things to occur after the resignation of Barry O’Farrell was the response by some journalists that he really should not have had to resign, and that it showed ICAC has too much power.

    It’s one thing for a former politician like Jeff Kennett to argue that the ICAC hearings entrapped O’Farrell, but it’s another thing for members of the media – whom should wish as much light to be shone into every dark crevice as is possible – to be using that line as well.

    Mr O’Farrell was not entrapped by ICAC. ICAC didn’t send him the wine, didn’t encourage him to write the thank you note, and didn’t trick him into giving the testimony he didn’t do any of it.

    https://www.sbs.com.au/news/comment-why-barry-o-farrell-had-to-resign

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    1. The question is, I guess, what would have happened if O'Farrell and Berejiklian hadn't resigned ? They could have toughed it out couldn't they - can ICAC actually sack them ?

      Anyway, surely such a great loss of memory puts O'Farrell into the same category as Biden ? Wouldn't the Bro have been calling for his resignation anyway ?

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    2. GB - summarising - for a proper account, consult your local friendly Scientiae Juridicae Doctor.

      anyway - the Commission may refer matters for further investigation or action, to any person or body it considers appropriate. It can do that before it has finished its own investigations.

      The Commission can recommend to that ‘relevant authority’ what action that authority should take, and set a time for that action to be completed.

      If the Commission is not satisfied with what the ‘authority’ does - it shall inform the authority ‘of the grounds of the Commission’s dissatisfaction’ - and give it a further opportunity to respond. If the Commission is still unsatisfied, the Commission may report to the Minister responsible for that authority.

      The Minister has 21 days to satisfy the Commission. If not - the Commission reports to the Presiding Officers of each House of the Parliament.

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    3. "report to the Minister responsible" - ok, so what "Minister" is responsble for disciplining and/or even sacking, the Premier ? Sounds a bit toothless tigerish to me.

      So I still don't see why Berejiklian couldn't just have toughed it out. Or O'Farrell for that matter. I'm sure it's what Robin Askin or Neville Wran would have done. Dunno about Nick Greiner though - perhaps he felt he just had to surrender to his own creation or look like a hypocrite ?

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    4. GB - but it is all squarely within the purview of the 'elected' arm of gummint. None of them 'unelected judges' ignoring THE RULE OF LAW and substituting their own personal prejudices (intended) with extreme bias. That the old, odd notion of Ministers actually being persons of principle, and accountable to the electorate, still doesn't get much of a run with the reptiles, if the Minister just happens to be of the right party.

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    5. I have a saying, Chad, that I developed over a number of years: "when creeping entropy becomes galloping chaos". The trouble is that although "galloping chaos" will generally elicit some kind of remedial reaction, creeping entropy, like the frog in the pot, just usually goes unnoticed for a very long time.

      I can recall over the last generation or so (taking that as about 30 years), that misdemeanors that would now not even be noticed, once got ministers sacked. Just quickly, I'm thinking Michael MacKellar and the "color television set affair" and Mick Young and his handling of campaign donations during the 1987 election. Mick was found 'not guilty' but resigned from parliament anyway.

      Amongst others. Though of course Robin Askin got away with all kinds of profitable grift over many years. So it's a bit of a mixed bag over time, but I can't help but feel that things have gotten much worse in the last decade or so and having gone too far in one direction, we've now cycled back into an Askinesque world.

      Is human existence just a prolonged case of oscillating from one extreme to the other with a continuum of "shifting baselines" all the way there and back ?

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  6. Love the Scrooge McDuck pic, DP. Haven't seen the likes of that for more than 60 years.

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  7. There's really no point whatsoever in responding to, or commenting upon, the insanity of the Doggy Boverer, is there. It's not like his ratings on Sky are really big, so how many actually watch him regularly ?

    Anyway, it was just this bit that got me: "...the reality is that the inevitable consequence of drastic global climate action will be to slow the emergence of developing countries out of poverty and malnutrition." It's that simple minded belief that there will only be negative consequences from trying to stop climate change, and any climate change that might happen will have no negative consequences whatsoever: all is, and will ever remain, for the best in this best of all possible ...

    If Kenny (and Bolt and Credlin and ...) can't see that negative consequences are already happening which will just get worse and worse over time, what would it take for them to do so ? It's like they've had prefrontal lobotomy without the physical surgery, and there's just no way back out of that.

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    1. For just a tiny touch of reality:

      How vital is adapting to a changed climate? Just ask a poor country
      https://www.theguardian.com/global/2021/nov/07/how-vital-is-adapting-to-a-changed-climate-just-ask-a-poor-country

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    2. The venerable Meade put it all in perspective GB ...

      Jones has been unable to replicate the success he enjoyed as Sydney’s No 1 breakfast radio presenter over several decades. He started at Sky on a high of 109,000 in July last year but then settled into a pattern of bouncing between highs in the 60,000 and lows in the 30,000.

      On Wednesday night Bolt had 72,000 viewers while Jones had 65,000, but he went as low as 40,000 last month. The top subscription television program on the Wednesday was Foxtel’s Gogglebox Australia, with 156,000 viewers.

      In a country of c. 25 million ...tin gods with tin whistles ...

      https://www.theguardian.com/media/2021/nov/04/alan-jones-dumped-by-sky-news-australia-after-ratings-slump



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