Before proceeding to the reptiles this day, the pond would like to take a detour, thanks to a friend forwarding a story in Ars Technica, in full here ...
It began this way ...
Okay, okay, fair enough, the pond already knew that Judge Bruce was a poor person's Judge Judy and something of a fuckwit, but then came the capper, pure delight for the pond ...
Logarithms!
You see, the pond has long talked of logarithms, in a doddery old fart way, just to irritate the shit out of upstart young tech heads who think they know everything, yet, as readers anxious to make a contribution to the pond have realised, googlebots and algorithms and such like are alternatively malicious and clueless and are fucking up the world ... no thanks to the likes of the Zuck and his fellow nerd travellers ...
And yet there we have it, talk of logarithms, and truly the pond was so delighted, it almost decided to stop for the day, and go and have a logarithm shower ...
There's playing the doddery old fart, and then there's seeing the sublime logarithimic dream in action ...
But speaking of doddery old farts, it was pleasing to see that the reptiles were still busy accepting Clive's cash in the claw ...
And that talk of "quid games" was also on top of the digital edition ...
And that pointer to major players naturally led to Dame Groan, groaning away in her usual style, or as the pond likes to think of the Dame, peak doddery old fart, alternatively malicious and clueless ...
Yes, it took a while to get from that initial mention of doddery old farts to here, and yet, here we are yet again ...
Now before the pond gets going with the groaning, a few notes.
The pond doesn't intend to pick an argument with Dame Groan. Sometimes it's best just to observe the reptiles in their natural habitat, and be quiet about it, because it's not often you get to observe a quietly grazing dinosaur, unaware of the approaching meteor, and anyway, even if you pointed out the meteor to them, they'd probably just shout "logarithm".
But the pond will note that the reptiles seem to have embarked on a new business strategy, flooding their columns with click bait videos in search of a little cash ...
It would seem that the business model is under more stress than usual.
Naturally the pond has defanged them, and should really excise them, but the pond still fancies itself as something of a reptile record, the day's logarithmic doings, so to speak, so here we go, here we go...
So there's the click bait video, and note that it references last-minute interventions from China and India, and yet blind Freddy would be aware that behind the scenes the dinkum lads from down under were also playing their coal-loving bit in the proceedings ...
Naturally the Currish Snail, the reptiles, SloMo, Barners and the Canavan caravan were delighted at the result of their back room diplomacy ...
Riddle the pond this. Why does Patricia Karvelas keep having on her show the likes of Barners and the Canavan caravan?
Well, it's a form of climate science porn ... and guaranteed to shock, and irritate anyone listening, and yet keep them hanging in, hoping for more rich obscenity, more titillation ...
Ah put out the green light ... there's a payoff coming for that one, but sorry, the pond should get back to Dame Groan, still merrily groaning away ...
Another click bait video! Well it's not going to set the pond off, nor is Dame Groan's talk of Australia's modest role, when everyone is aware that Australia was cheering on India and China ... because green light ... and the usual downplaying of our "modest" emissions, when we all know that we're an inspiration to the world's recalcitrant denialists ...
Coal lovers of the world rejoice, you have friends down under ...
Sorry, the pond was going to just observe the dinosaur contentedly grazing ...
Um, just China refusing to upate its target? Sorry, sorry, and no the pond won't bite on that click bait video talk of crony capitalists, because we all know the solution is can-do capitalism, rather than can't do fuckwitted governments of the SloMo 'hold my hose, I feel a holiday coming on' kind ...
Yes, don't look to beefy boofhead Angus for help, unless you're a mate and need a little government cash in the paw ... but what's this?
Suddenly, thanks to the Groaner's groaning, we've moved from deploring crony capitalism to celebrating 'can do' wealthy business types ...
Oh it's a funny old world. Logarithms!
After all that the pond felt the need for an infallible Pope, celebrating the folly ...
The logarithms say "step on it" ...
And so to keep up the pace, the pond turned to see what else was happening at lizard Oz HQ this day, at least in the war room ...
The treacherous ancient Troy holding up a white flag regarding the war on China? Where's the bromancer and his subs when they're needed?
Frocks? EVs? The Killer in Kenosha ...
Sadly the pond has already had the best of Kenosha, a deadly comedy which will likely see Killer vigilantism stalk the United States, armed with military grade weaponry ...
But luckily it turned out that this was something of a Killer day, because he was everywhere, lurking next to the tea and coffee which might yet save the pond from reptile dementia ...
Oh and look, there's poor simplistic Simon, his knickers in a knot as he tries to explain the natural born liar's losing a little trust ...
Never mind, there was Killer, talking up conflict with the dictator for life ...
But stay, there's more, and with Killer you always get sharp steak knives ...
It turned out that this was a triple Killer day, and naturally the innate perversity of the pond saw it turn to the third piece in the holy trinity of Killerdom ...
Indeed, indeed, and there's the poor mango Mussolini forced to sell on his hotel ... things are indeed crook when a billionaire can't make a dishonest living with government subsidies and patronage...
And here the pond must pause again and note that the reptiles have littered Killer's piece with click bait videos ... and the pond has had to defang them ... that business model must be really suffering ...
Indeed, indeed, it was so much better when you could just toss a poofter off a cliff, or perhaps into the Torrens ...
And so to the next bit of Killer excitement ...
Oh indeed, indeed, who wouldn't want to be a black in the United States, or better still, a black in Australia, living a life of indolent luxury, with all this blather of 'supposed systemic prejudice' ridiculously exaggerated ...
Why just look at all the Aboriginal writers who fill the lizard Oz each day with their thoughts ... poor Killer, soon he'll barely find the room to have a piece published ...
And so to the most bizarre click bait video of the day, which the pond had to isolate from the herd, cull it out ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, that's a long screed for a click bait video ... and it seems that James Morrow is now the new fuckwit star of Sky News after dark .. what with the parrot gone, and yet a daily dose of hysteria required ...
And so on to the next click bait video, filled in the usual reptile way with some interstitial thoughts of the mindless Killer kind ...
And so to the final gobbet, and the reason the pond stayed with the Killer, because the Killer will always find a way to fill the pond with awe ...
It took the pond back to the old days of the IPA, where the celebration of cancer sticks and coffin nails was a rite of passage ... and yet here we are, with Killer huffing about the right to a cheap puffing, and if it happens to kill you, well you're just doing your bit for the killing fields ...
If only the United States actually had a new FDR ... but instead we have a paid monkey working for filthy rich chairman Rupert, helping out with the organ grinding, and doing his bit for the poor ...
Here, have another gasper, and if the lung dart finds its mark, you can thank the Killer and soon enough you'll be rolling a rolly in the killing fields ...
And so to another way to help the poor have a good time, because while the rich might be able to head off to the Folies Bergère and escape or ameliorate the worst of climate change, the poor will likely have to do a Mehitabel ...
well boss i saw mehitabel
last evening
she was out in the alley
dancing on the cold cobbles
while the wild december wind
blew through her frozen whiskers
and as she danced
she wailed and sang to herself
uttering the fragments
that rattled in her cold brain
in part as follows
whirl mehitabel whirl
spin mehitabel spin
thank god you re a lady still
if you have got frozen skin
blow wind out of the north
to hell with being a pet
my left front foot is brittle
but there’s life in the old dame yet
dance mehitable dance
caper and shake a leg
what little blood is left
will fizz like wine in a keg
wind come out of the north
and pierce to the guts within
but some day mehitabel’s guts
will string a violin
And now what better way to end than a dance with the immortal Rowe, with more dancing Rowe here ...
That was the Currish Snail, I take it that was declaring "But we're not to make rule and regional Australians to pay for that." It wasn't really an accurate rendition of SloMo, was it ? Just another subeditless reptile muckup ?
ReplyDeleteIndeed, it was the Currish Snail in all its glory, GB, the beauty of a screen cap being that there's no magic or fancy tricks, just the reptiles as they wrote, or in this case transcribed. Perhaps they aspire to work for the Graudian?
DeleteJust a word on the level of credit that can be given to the Groan when she says: "Note here that rice paddies are a significant source of methane":
ReplyDelete"The team found that draining paddy fields in the middle of the rice-growing season — a practice that most Chinese farmers have adopted since the 1980s because it increases rice yields and saves water — stopped most of the methane release from the field. The team presented their results on 13 August at a meeting on climate science convened at a Beijing hotel by the US Department of Energy and China's Ministry of Science and Technology."
https://www.nature.com/articles/news.2009.833
The "team" was "Chris Butenhoff and Aslam Khalil, physicists from Portland State University in Portland, Oregon, together with Xiong Zhenqin, an ecologist at Nanjing Agricultural University in China's Jiangsu province, and their colleagues". The Nature article was published on 18 August 2009.
The reptiles just can't be bothered being even the tiniest bit diligent, can they.
She does get this right though: "But the hard reality is that countries will determine what is primarily in their national interest." And we all know that it's very much in every single and joint "national interest" for the Earth to warm up by a great deal more than an average 1.5C. Heading for 3C or 4C or more ? You betcha.
Sheesh, GB, the pond would like to see you go ten rounds with the Groaner ... oh there'd be some groaning to behold ...
DeleteI dunno, I think Chadders knows her way better than me, DP :-) But I do think she's just slowly slid downhill ever since Reptilia discovered she was being way overpaid for her intellectual and journalistic grade. I think she's just losing all contact with sense and sensibility. But she's too old and faded to be an apprentice Shari.
DeleteSo, the Killer regales us with: "Deliberately making the rich richer while jabbering on about a bizarre political ideology foreign to most Americans has been a disastrous combination." Right on, KC and so now it's quite obvious that, as you proclaim loudly "You don't have to be a political genius to realise Americans voted against Trump..." except, that is, for the 74,216,154 who voted for Trump, and the 75 or 76 million who definitely voted for Biden, leaving as many as maybe 5 or 6 million who primarily voted not for either, but yes, merely voted against Trump.
ReplyDelete