The pond makes no apology for shoving certain reptiles down the queue this day, but admits it was a tough call, and so the pond felt the need for a special late afternoon edition to make amends...
The pace began to heat up yesterday, with this line-up at the top of the digital page ...
What a line-up ...
The pond has already covered the 'nodders' aspect, with the nods doing their thing for climate science, but the pond prides itself on closely following the bromancer, and there he was in all his glory ...
And then there was that stupendously silly nonsense by Catherine Hannebery, blathering on about wokeness in a fiction, as if drama was supposed to be actual history.
What a twit, what an unparalleled loon. Look, if the pond wants to see Billy the Kid keep on living in Old Henry, in the shape of Tim Blake Nelson, better known as Buster Scruggs, so be it, but the pond doesn't pretend that it's got anything to do with history.
That's the point of making stuff up, Catherine, it's making stuff up to make a drama, and if a few historical truths or insights go into the bin in the process, so be it.
Bill Shakspere regularly fucked over history, and kept himself on the right side of Queen Liz, and so he should, and if you look at a 1980s western with a female lead, you'll learn more about 1980s hairstyles than you will about the old west ...
Okay, the pond has had its rant - these days a mere reptile columnist headline full of rampant anti-woke stupidity can set the pond off - and has settled down a bit, and this was the top of the reptile page early this morning ...
Sure the bromancer had dropped a little lower in the pecking order, but the French subs affair was still at the top of the page, and the pond thought attention should be paid, and frabjous joy, the bromancer was still hanging in, given a spot in the reptiles' favourite triptych of terror line-up ...
Yes, the climate follies were there, but lo, in the centre was the bromancer ... and since Scotty from marketing is an indefensible bald-faced liar, the only solution was to have at the Yanks ...
Now the pond should note at the get go that the reptiles seized the chance to fill the bromancer up with click bait videos, and while the pond has kept them in as a record of proceedings, it has neutered them in the usual screen cap way ...
Good old bromancer. The idea that Scotty from marketing isn't a liar is ridiculous, but the bromancer is a loyal old bean who loves his nuts ...
But here's the irony. The bromancer hates the subs deal, thinks it stinks, and thinks it's been badly mishandled. Some might think that the bromancer is at that stage of cognitive decline where routinely he can't remember what he's scribbled, but in due course, it will out ...
Meanwhile, please allow the pond to celebrate the bromancer's talk of the perfidious French. The pond occasionally does it, in honour of cheese-eating surrender monkeys days ... but there's a special pleasure here, because not only is the bromancer intent on pissing off the perfidious French, he's got it in for the perfidious Yanks ...
Yes, yes, bromancer, go on shoving it to the perfidious French to protect the honour of a notorious perfidious liar ... but slowly, ever so slowly, it will dawn on the bromancer that he hates the new submarine deal, as he wanders down the byways of his senility and it dimly comes to mind ...
Eek, all this fuss and the protecting of the honour of a notorious liar, and the earliest we might get a single nuclear submarine into the water is 2040?
No wonder the bromancer is agitated, it's as if he's been attached to horses and quartered, such are the unnerving conflicts he has to deal with in his rather addled Xian mind ...
And so to a final gobbet of addle ... where lo and behold, the bromancer and the perfidious French are at one in their thinking ...
As to the matter of the natural born liar being a liar, the pond must turn to that other story that was at the top of the reptile pages ...
Again a warning, as the reptiles have shoved the odd click bait video into the yarn, carefully neutered by the pond, but let's see if the reptiles can arrive at the truth noted in Crikey ... (paywall)
Of course this means that the bromancer, who knows the truth of the matter, is a liar when he defends Morrison's rather unique* (*ABC24 approved) ability to lie ... but on with the reptiles ...
So the Americans lied? But aren't they natural born liars as much as war-minded killers?
Nothing to see there. So what about that dance with Macron and Scotty the natural born liar?
But, butt, billy goat, why would the French be surprised and upset? According to the natural born liar, he'd warned the perfidious French that the perfidious Australians were on the march away from the deal ... hadn't he?
Sheesh, it's going to take a bit of winkling before we get to the truth about Scotty the natural born liar ... so much easier to cut to the lying chase with Crikey ... perhaps another snap to soften the shock?
Super-secret negotiations? But if the perfidious French were kept out of the loop, then surely the perfidious SloMo is just being a natural born liar?
Perhaps a click bait video to ease the pain as we slide into the final gobbet ...
And there you have it ... after all that, the bromancer and Scotty from marketing, both liars ... because ...
"Mr Morrison himself claims he told Mr Macron during their June meeting that the French submarines were not going to meet Australia's needs. However, France was never told directly that their contract was doomed.
The French were completely blindsided ..."
Golly, that took a lot of winkling, but there you have it ... we were, after all, in the company of natural born liars, Scott from marketing, and the bromancer, still trying to lie for the natural born liar ...
Luckily the pond had saved an infallible Pope to celebrate the liars in the field ...
And with those pants on fire, the pond offers this bonus to hardcore followers of the Leunig matter ...
Yes, it's a craven Craven having a go, refusing to let the matter rest.
The rest of the world might have moved on, but the reptiles can never let go ...
The pond refuses to associate a cartoon with this tosh, and doesn't have much to say, having said it all, so here it is ungarnished and unvarnished ...
Stop right there, craven Craven. The pond has had enough of liars this day, and talk of the myth of Leunig as an anti-vaxxer is such a bald faced lie that the pond had to revoke its promise not to speak ...
This was in the Graudian back in 2015 ... yes, 2015 ... by Eleanor Robinson ...
And so on and so forth, and all the pond could think was just kill the fucking ducks ... shoot, or stab, or slaughter the whimsical fucking ducks .... and serve them with a nice French-style orange sauce ...
Sorry, sorry, but he's led a charmed life for a long time, with that bullshit whimsy and spirituality gobbledegook and marlarkey ...
And so to a final gobbet of craven Craven, because the pond should always be a completist ...
Leunig's greatness is beyond debate?
Fuck a duck ...
Sorry, fuck an anti-vaxxer duck, and that's more than enough of that fuckwittery ...
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteImagine that you are new US Administration entering the White House in a period of severe political polarisation. Along with a pandemic and a dangerous economic situation you would be intensely focused on domestic politics knowing that the American public is intensely insular and rarely pays attention to foreign policy.
However China is challenging for economic superiority with America and is becoming ever more expensive to counter as a military force.
What to do?
Maybe instead of antagonising the Chinese head on, you would get a client state to poke the Red Dragon instead. The Chinese would be furious and would counter with diplomatic and economic sanctions against the client state therefore proving what a threat China was to the US hegemony and hopefully frightening other client nations into toughening up their response.
The question is what nation would be stupid enough to put its neck on the line just to provoke the wrath of the Peoples Republic of China.
Especially if the PRC was its biggest trading partner.
Most sovereign nations would be wary of being used as a pawn between two possible superpowers.
The Administration therefore would be looking for a client state government that was in dire straits electorally and desperate for a foreign policy fillip and one that was used to doing deals behind the scenes. Possibly a government that was used to being bossed around by its wealthy sponsors instead of its constituents and wasn’t too particular about upholding its promises.
Still there had to be be to a hook. Something that made the client state feel like it was special.
What could that have been?
DiddyWrote
I reckon the department of foreign affairs is being run out of broom closet in the prime minister's office.
DeleteStill, I was relieved that Morrison's photographer was on hand to capture a postcard moment for the rubes here in Oz of the two men sharing what must have been a joke.
Hmm. I'd kinda like to think that it was that way, DW, but I just can't see that our Yanqui friends are actually smart enough to be that intentionally, and successfully, devious.
DeleteOur Bromancer - as I recall, the title came in part from his denial that Tony Abbott could have punched the wall on either side of Barbara Ramjan, after she had won the student election. Well, my recollection is that Sheridan claimed that he could not believe that student Tony could have been capable of that because 'I was his best mate' at that time. Seems we have a similar approach to epistemology for anything involving ScoMo. Does this make Sheridan a ScoMoBro?
ReplyDeleteEminently possible, Chad; wise words about leopards and spots come to mind.
DeleteHowever, he clearly is not a Biden-his-time-mancer: "...the really disappointing and much more damaging betrayal of Australia's diplomatic interests by US president, Joe Biden." Wau, we've been "betrayed" by Uncle Joe (and we remember when "Uncle Joe" was used for someone else entirely, don't we).
The Bro really does have a thing about Biden's senility, doesn't he: "Biden is at the stage of cognitive decline where routinely he can't remember what he can't remember." And I guess the Bro would know all about that, given, as DP notes: "Some might think that the bromancer is at that stage of cognitive decline where routinely he can't remember what he's scribbled..." It certainly looks that way.
Did the pond see the reference to Pink Floyd's album cover?
ReplyDeletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wish_You_Were_Here_(Pink_Floyd_album)
The pond has now ... and enjoyed the amplification of the pants on fire routine ...
Deletehe album's cover images were photographed by Aubrey "Po" Powell, Storm's partner at the design studio Hipgnosis, and inspired by the idea that people tend to conceal their true feelings, for fear of "getting burned", and thus two businessmen were pictured shaking hands, one man on fire. "Getting burned" was also a common phrase in the music industry, used often by artists denied royalty payments. Two stuntmen were used (Ronnie Rondell and Danny Rogers), one dressed in a fireproof suit covered by a business suit. His head was protected by a hood, underneath a wig. The photograph was taken at Warner Bros. Studios in California, known at the time as The Burbank Studios. Initially the wind was blowing in the wrong direction, and the flames were forced into Rondell's face, burning his moustache. The two stuntmen changed positions, and the image was later reversed.
Who knew that SloMo was old enough to help stage the shoot?