In which the pond does its late Friday reptile climate special ...

 

 

The pond was mortified that it had to create a special late Friday slot for the reptiles on climate science, but it had to be done, what with old favourites dominating the reptile scene earlier in the day...

And yet at least the pond can at last honour Lloydie of the Amazon by acknowledging his work, which first hit the reptile pages late yesterday ...

 

 

 

 

Oh not the moo cows. Why the pond will have to get out its Glock and join Barners in shooting every last one ...

And now on with Lloydie, seeming mildly alarmed, and yet with the reptiles finding room for a click bait video to pad out a very thin piece ...

 

 

 

China a world power? Who knew? Hadn't we already sent them scuttling, what with our new subs? And it got sillier after that, as Lloydie did his best to cope with the news ...

 

What else after those alarming snaps?

Wel.l Lloydie of the Amazon decided the time was right to shed a few tears for methane and suffering Australia ...

 

 

And what about big consequences for the planet? Alas and alack, as usual, that's when Lloydie of the Amazon decided to fall silent...

But not to worry ... because at the top of the digital page early this morning there was a pointer to another story ...

 

 

 

Now the pond has already covered AUKUS, thanks be unto the bromancer, but that link about Xi's words led to an ironically named Glasgow ... 

 

As for SloMo's cold words of chilly comfort? Will they survive the warm light, the heated glow of a warming planet?

Sorry, that's a question the reptiles never seem to get around to asking ...

 

 

Dear sweet long absent lord, does that mean that SloMo can't skate along on a form of words, or be economical with the truth?

 

Indeed, indeed, and if the Chinese wanted to joke about lovely hypocritical words, they need look no further than our very own natural born liar ... and at the end of the joking, they might say, let's see what actions the natural born liar and his beefy, boofhead, windmill-denying Angus might take ... apart from boondoggling and pork barreling generous amounts of cash in paw to sundry mates in the name of dubious technology solutions yet to be devised or made to work ...

And so to the man who once lived close to a bridge, Monsieur Dupont, to round out the reptiles rabbiting on about climate and China ...

 

 

 

 

Might we care about the planet scoring a win?

 

Of course not, bitter resentment of China remains the reptile go ...

 

 

 

 

Uh huh, it's all the fault of poorer countries ... and we can talk of unrealistic eco-fundamentalists, because we've got to keep shipping that coal until the Canavan cows come home ... because here there be no unkind words for unrealistic coal fundamentalists telling us all that mighty coal matters, or batters, or whatever ...

The pond knew this was going to be a tedious lecture, and so it thought it might drag in a distraction ...

If the planet's going to burn, how about a bit of book burning to go with it?

 

At the Beast here ... and now back to burning the planet, as the bridge chappy explains it's everyone else's fault, and the ideological blindness of climate change activists, because, you know, reptiles never notice the mote in their own coal-clutching eye ...

 

 

Why that's almost as sexually arousing as a dirty book, so on with the blame game and the burning, books, planet, whatever you've got,  as we arrange the deck chairs ...

Around this time the pond would usually roll out a verse or two of that singer moaning about a little Dupont waiting at the counter of the corner shop, wailing that he's been waiting down there, and China has been pushing him around, knocking him to the ground, and he gets to his feet and he cries, what about me, it isn't fair, I want my share, can't you see, Xi, I wanna live and export coal, but you just take more than you give ...

Here's the thing. The pond has no time for dictator for life (he hopes) Xi, but to be able to stand on high righteous moral ground, you have to do more than offer a coal-clutching goose as your answer ...

Oh forget it, Jake, it's Dupont town, and he pond knew what it had to do ... evoke the sensible notion of book burning as a metaphor for burning the planet ...

 

 

Heck, surely not just Ray? What about 'truffles' Truffaut, and his wonky film version, featuring the leaden Oskar ...

 

Well that's the pond's kultur done for the day, back for a final brief gobbet from the wailing bridge man... (yes, the pond still remains bitter about those French lessons at Tamworth High) ...

 

Indeed, indeed, and the inconvenient truth is that it's hard to lecture the Chinese about their follies when we have a natural born liar spreading bullshit about how technology is going to save the day ...

Unless Australia can be persuaded or pressured to reverse course, we are all going to be living in a much hotter world ... one where the presumptions of a delusional fellowship of the Cognoscenti - how that name reeks of the 'leet - are going to be doing a lot of sweating ...

And now to the infallible Pope, because the pond held back this beauty, as a reward for those few brave herpetologists who made it to the bitter end of this late Friday reptile climate special ... because it says in just one image all that the pond wanted to say about the reptiles bullshitting on and blaming China and underdeveloped countries, when we're busily at work running FossilCorp Australia ...