So how did the pond end up with Koalagate on a Friday?
Well partly it was the sheer tedium of the reptiles and their ongoing war on Comrade Dan, and partly it was the delight of those two Yoni (please, no puns) headlines ... one assuring us that Gladys had chosen koalas over the Nationals, while at the same time, the other exceptionally keen to establish that it was never about koalas.
The pond knew that it was likely to lose readership in other states - sandgropers are busy organising a secession movement, to the alarm of the reptiles, while to the north three ministers suddenly dropped off the twig, as if consumed by cane toads, while down south Melburnians still moan in their misery.
But perhaps Gladys and our humble Koalagate might afford a distraction from parochial concerns, by way of a parochial distraction, a little folly that might relieve the suffering of others.
And so to the Yoni (please no puns) opinion piece part of the Koalagate saga ... remembering that all through the virus, the reptiles have thought that the sun shone out of Gladys's arse, and she was positively brill, so brill in fact that the unrelenting assaults on comrade Dan made him take a pilgrimage to NSW to discover the source of the brill ...
Amazing really. Has there ever been a bigger fuckwit, dropkick, loser and all-day sucker than John Barilaro, and yet suddenly it's a failure of leadership from Gladys, an avertable crisis, as if anyone could deal with a train wreck of the Barilaro kind, or avert the train from going off the rails regularly, in the same way that when people go off their meds, they tend to go off ...
The pond was captivated. How much time it had wasted on Boris junking international law, and the Donald proving yet again he was a congenital liar ... when parish pump politics of the parochial kind delivered just as much high comedy ... and it was all Gladys's fault. She was no longer positively brill, if anything she needed a dose of Mr Sheen ...
Actually a true victory would have been to have done something to save the fucking koalas ... because it's been going on for years ...
Thanks Google and how lucky you didn't have to pay the reptiles for that information. In the bushfires this year, it seems as many as 5,000 might have carked it, and as a result there were Calls to declare koalas endangered as population declines by two-thirds in 20 years ...
The pond apologises that the infallible Pope seems to have yet again been mangled by the Canberra Times' gallery format ...
The pond is no koala hugger, but it'd rather get pissed on by a koala drunk on gum leaves than contemplate a fuckwit of the Barilaro kind ...
I mean, just look at the childish carry-on in the Yoni (no jokes please) report on the news side of Koalagate ...
All bullshit of course, the notion that he'd give up his title tomorrow and go away, and spend his life as a penitent tending to the needs of koalas in the bush.
Poor Gladys, she almost has the look of a suffering koala ...
Of course Gladys still holds the upper hand, in that you could stop one of three NSW wedding goers, and none of them could name the leader of the opposition ... but what do you know, Yoni (please, no puns) goes on to explain that, waddya know, it is all about the fucking koalas ...
On and on he goes, suddenly gripped by the desire to explain the situation of koalas in New South Wales ...
John Barilaro is a climate science denying fuckwit of the first water - see The climate-denying John Barilaro joke is on us - and the pond hopes that this trip into a parochial bywater has been amusing, and lifted the spirits of Victorians and others in the grip of the plague ...
Sure, the koalas are fucked, and so is the planet, but you've got to laugh, haven't you?
Especially when you look at the alternatives that the reptiles had lined up this day ...
Sigh. The pond immediately felt the need to reach for a Rowe, with more Rowe always reachable here ...
Ah, that's better, the international stage, and someone outside the reptile bubble had heard the news ...
But don't get the pond wrong. The pond was grateful that koalagate meant that it didn't have to deal with the Caterist blathering on about big-government vision and the Caterist being tuned to an alternative reality, when everybody knows that the Caterist is a big-government cash in the paw man...
Without government cash in the paw, the Caterist would wither and fade away like the Cheshire cat, a remarkably silly grin on his moosh ...
Such was the dire straits it found itself in that the pond even headed off to the WSJ to see if they had anything to say about Bob Woodward and the Donald, but it was as if Woodward didn't exist, hadn't written a book, and the Donald was proceeding full steam ahead ...
So reluctantly the pond turned to our hole in the bucket man, because he was being remarkably silly, which might prove some comfort to suffering Victorians ...
Stop right there. Henry is being totally asinine in his usual way. He doesn't mean for Daniel Andrews to personally bear the costs of the damage he allegedly wreaks. He means all Victorians should suffer. We're all in this together means, in Henry speak, fuck you Victorians ...
At this point the pond wondered why it should bother, reading a stupid senile old goat scribbling in a frothing and foamy (or perhaps dribbling) frenzy about something that's not going to happen.
It would be a bit like the pond scribbling "Force Donald Trump to bear the costs the damage he wreaks" ...
Sorry, that Rowe still lingered in the mind, and the pond is suffering from a lack of relevance, and that'll get worse when we get on to our Henry ...
Even the pond is aware that comrade Dan isn't after complete eradication, but rather a situation akin to that of Gladys, though it was only today that the pond realised that she too was a drop kick and a failure and a sucker and a loser ...Koalagate!
But before we get on to our Henry's "solution", please can the pond have a moment of relevancy ...
Ah, that's more like it ... Google your news source while you can, while the pond headed off to The New Yorker ...
Good old Sean, good old Laura, good old Murdochians, and hang on a mo, how about "Force Rupert Murdoch to bear the costs the damage he wreaks".
Never mind, no reason to sound as silly as our Henry. The rest of David Remnick's Bob Woodward on a Nightmare Presidency is outside the paywall for the moment ...
And perhaps a relieving cartoon too?
There, that's better, and now to make all Victorians pay ...
Uh huh, it goes without saying that any estimate by the pond of our Henry's infinite stupidity is necessarily subject to myriad caveats ... but the main point still stands ...
Why does he bother? Why not just contemplate his navel for an hour or two?
Or why not a cartoon?
The thing is, the pond really can't get over the way Henry has scribbled endlessly to absolutely no point, because simply put, it will never fucking happen. What a mindless waste of time he is, and if he's not up to gazing at his navel, why not spend his time wanking to a Penthouse centrefold...?
Oh the age thing, right, and doddering senility, which leads to this final gobbet ...
Okay, the pond has no idea why the reptiles should fund our Henry so he can publicly display he's lost his mind, but it's done now, and no doubt he's had a fabulous comrade Dan inspired orgasm, with millions of Victorians whipped hard, hard and good, hard and mean, hard, hard, hard, and forced to plead "oh yes, master Henry, another please", and so he reached a peak come of some arcane kind ... perhaps culminating with that reference to the famous Alfred Deakin...
But what can the pond do? Unlike those who have been saved from a grotesque and hideous death (old folks in federal government controlled and organised aged "care" centres in Victoria excepted), famously the pond can only moan:
You do me wrong to take me out o' th' grave.
Thou art a soul in reptile-free bliss, but I am bound
Upon a wheel of reptile fire, that mine own tears
Do scald like molten fuckwitted Henry lead.
Thou art a soul in reptile-free bliss, but I am bound
Upon a wheel of reptile fire, that mine own tears
Do scald like molten fuckwitted Henry lead.
Perhaps some more cartoons as compensation? An alternative evocation of where this country might have landed, if Sean, and Tucker, and Laura and the Murdochians had had their way ...
" two Yoni (please, no puns) headlines"
ReplyDeleteOh alright then ... but he really is just like a small piece stuck to the wall after a real good bung.
"the Donald proving yet again he was a congenital liar "
ReplyDeleteBut he told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth to Woodward, didn't he. At least just about everybody seems to have assumed that, contrary to his entire existence up to this point, he was totally truthful to Woodward.
Who knew incoherent suicidal telephone and Twitter conversations could be so truthful .....and deadly.
Deletehttps://www.vox.com/2020/9/10/21430570/trump-woodward-tapes-calm-no-panic
Trump should end up before The Hague.
CA.
The Henry writes ‘any estimates are necessarily subject to myriad caveats’.
ReplyDeleteBut, surely, this is an opportunity to invoke the inverse of Ergas’ Law of health benefits - ‘You can get two-thirds the benefit for one-third the costs.’ It has been around since March, so must be well-established in the profession by now, and known to apply in its inverse form simply by triggering the code sequence ‘dan’.
I will check with The Source. She has access to many more journals than I do now.
Amusingly the Henry was so carried away by his own incisive analysis that he put up reference to this article in that ‘off the leash’ area for the DWAGs - Catallaxy Files. He was promptly chided for linking to something behind a paywall - showing that even the DWAGs are disinclined to take up those wonderful ‘introductory’ offers from Limited News for - is it one month’s subscription to the electronic version, for a dollar?
Either me or Holely Henry have gone kinda barneygoogles cos I couldn't make any much sense of his ramblings. But yeah, thanks for the '2/3rds benefit, 1/3rd cost' reminder, Chad, I'd completely forgotten that.
DeleteBut what a day: farmers and their war on 123 trees as pushed by Barrell-aro and Henry's continuing love of QALY.
The Oz might have to hold the front page on Mrs.Dan. Koalagate has fallen out of the tree.CA.
Deletehttps://twitter.com/RonniSalt/status/1304208617202020353
It was ever thus ? Kinda seems like it.
DeleteThe cruellest thing one can do to Holely Henry's maundering is to read it a second time. After all, given the nonsense being inflicted on the pond, and the web as a whole, one might assume, on a first reading, that a cogent justification for his prattling might lie hidden in some explanatory attempt. It doesn't.
ReplyDeleteBut I did finally catch on to this:
"...Victoria's initial six-week lockdown was unlikely to entirely eliminate the virus.
However, that finding hardly demonstrates that it is sensible to pursue the lockdown until there are almost no new cases.
Indeed, in a paper recently released as a preprint by The Lancet, Blakely himself concludes that the benefits of seeking to eradicate the virus -- rather than prudently managing its impacts -- fall well short of the costs."
So there we have it: the '2/3rds benefit, 1/3rd cost' that Chad has so felicitously reminded us of. Henry really, really does think he can work out both the benefits (such and so many QALYs) and the costs (such and so many Au$). And most laughable of all, that he has some idea what "prudently managing its impacts" might actually involve.
And apart from the fact that Henry is off into the never-never land and way outa sight, he certainly has proven his case to the likes of Killer Creighton and the other "we always know best" reptiles.
Who, of course, never ever mention the USA, Brazil, India, the UK and much of Europe (and even hardly ever Sweden nowadays) - and an increasing amount of Africa, Indonesia etc - because, just maybe there might be some unanswerable questions about the "benefits". And just how many degrees of "freedom" there are between "elimination" and "learning to live (ie die) with it".
GB - there is some appeal to me in the Henry concept of making an administration take out a loan to cover the costs of its policies. I am still waiting for the reduction of $550 in our household electricity account, promised by sometime PM Abbott, as the ‘dividend’ for his removing that communist-inspired carbon tax. Now, if the OM had borrowed an amount from, say, that ‘Future Fund’ to cover all Australian households, and put it in a trust account, or otherwise hypothecatedd it to household electricity bills, that would have been a great initiative in national accounting.
ReplyDeleteOh, and, apropos Abbott - the EU is reminding Boris that signing an instrument with them earlier in year to cover the arrangements for Brexit, and then putting an array of legislation before the Briddish parliament that manifestly does not comply with that instrument is, well, poor form, not the done thing, not what is expected in international diplomacy.
In response, Boris bleats about the freedom-loving people he claims to represent, and otherwise does a poor imitation of Trump. So - has he bought Abbott to help him sort out those obstructionist EU types, to shirt-front Macron and menace Merkel, in the same way he put down Putin?
Of course, Boris’ real excuse, which we are unlikely ever to hear from him, is that he was too lazy to go through the detail of that instrument with the EU, and has had real trouble identifying any of it since he put his Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson on the dotted line.
Trouble is, Chad that after the Cain-Kirner stuffup we no longer had a state bank that we could get to print money for us so oh no no we'd have debt !
DeleteBut that really annoyed me, State bank of Vic was my bank (my father religiously paid the 5 shillings per week of child endowment for me into it until I ceased to qualify - which helped me buy my first car - a Morris Minor 8hp low-light if you're interested, CA), as it was to generations of Victorians. And then bloody Keating privatised the Commonwealth and there just wasn't a decent bank alive. And he sold off the CSL too.
Regards Boris and the rest of the Tory mob........”Of course, Boris’ real excuse, which we are unlikely ever to hear from him, is that he was too lazy to go through the detail of that instrument with the EU, and has had real trouble identifying any of it since he put his Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson on the dotted line.”
DeleteWelcome to the West World Championship Wankery of Mates......who needs to read an instrument when it is all corruption via power or power via corruption, take your pick.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/10/uk-corrupt-nation-earth-brexit-money-laundering?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other
It's always good to see that we Aussies continue to follow the British traditions, especially where crooked money is concerned.
Delete“and the pond hopes that this trip into a parochial bywater has been amusing, and lifted the spirits of Victorians and others in the grip of the plague ... Sure, the koalas are fucked, and so is the planet, but you've got to laugh, haven't you?”
ReplyDeleteGood afternoon Dorothy. A good read as usual......I’m laughing!
Hardly worth thinking about sheltering really. We always knew Barillaro would fold like a $10 tent in a gale, yoni whipped by Gladys and the Koalas(sorry!)...but he at least retains another chance to return to the battle for coal and gas .....possibly. Although after that presser of few minutes ago it feels like a possible of some great doubt. There is spin and then there is rambling spin!
“Good old Sean, good old Laura, good old Murdochians, and hang on a mo, how about "Force Rupert Murdoch to bear the costs the damage he wreaks".
I doubt the cost is estimable in all honesty.....everywhere he has stuck his grimy hands and mind has bled the world of any semblance of possibility.
I doubt a medieval Turkish impaling would suffice........no, none of that progressive I apologise deeply and will retire to the loot haven of Rio Tinto style.
I do share your bewilderment regards Holey Henry, the Bro and the others. They, and particularly Henry, really are reminiscent of driving down the Hume at 90 mph in the FX and the cassette tape snaps and makes the short frenzied whirring sound as the left rear wheel axle snaps and the tyre passes you while you’re still trying to work out what the fuck has just happened. True story.
Although your King Lear analogy is way more apt. He is a lost cause, barring comic relief.
Non the less, don’t we wish we had sat that FX/FJ on blocks instead of selling it for a few hundred bucks(Ute in my instance) https://www.justcars.com.au/cars/for-sale/holden/fj?p=1&taxonomy%5B0%5D%5B0%5D=holden&taxonomy%5B1%5D%5B0%5D=fj
“The thing is, the pond really can't get over the way Henry has scribbled endlessly to absolutely no point, because simply put, it will never fucking happen” .....one can only presume Henry has over invested in Myer stock instead of Fortescue and is suffering from severe dividend imputation credits loss. Should one find comedy in Henry’s pain? Hah.....he is rusted to the word of the reptilian ethos. Good luck with that Henry! CA.
N.B. A few days back.
“The pond sometimes feels deep shame, and it's not just ashes in a filing cabinet on a strange journey. What if the ghost of Dorothy Parker dropped by to discover her name had been purloined in the interests of amateur herpetological studies?”
I’m sure if she did, she would say “do you have whiskey?.... we have many things we can discuss together my friend”
https://open.spotify.com/track/5A2wRK7ch9tg6k5iibUsgT?si=UK977zV3RbGzHUj45CBSKg
You can get a fair bit more on a CD than you could get on an LP, CA. Any particular recommendation(s) or just start at 1. and work on through ?
DeleteHad to swap to youtube though - it doesn't make me sign up
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=ycrFcPmMuqg&list=OLAK5uy_n9UUWeHA2YKfymVQqETeHazNMUstNmLqY
Sorry GB.....the kids tried to introduce me to the 21st century with a Spotify subscription for Father’s Day. I’ll never make it! Still waiting for my book too. :(
DeleteCA.
https://youtu.be/RnkJa6HdgJw
Track 15 (last) would you believe, CA listening now. Spotify is ok, but youtube just plays ads at me and doesn't make me sign up.
DeleteHope your wait for your book turns out to be worthwhile. At least Chad seemed to enjoy it.
Yep....Murphy’s law GB.
DeleteAs for Morris Minors, great cars. Had a few....during the ‘83 recession the old man and I used to buy them up for a song, along with Borgwards....poor mans Porsche, and dodge them up mechanically and give them a cut and polish and resell. It got us through the tougher times.
https://www.shannons.com.au/auctions/2014-shannons-melbourne-winter-classic-auction/AKR0Y89C5DR802E2/
https://www.shannons.com.au/auctions/2014-shannons-melbourne-winter-classic-auction/AKR0Y89C5DR802E2/
https://www.shannons.com.au/auctions/2016-shannons-melbourne-winter-classic-auction/WOEBV8D9A13DX0NM/
As for the State Bank/Tricontinental fiasco....who could forget. And all we got for that fuck up was Kennett. Life wasn’t meant to be easy, and folly, chicanery and ideologies didn’t help one bit.....the more things change the more they stay the same it seems. 2026 should be better! :))
We live in hope buddy.
CA.
https://youtu.be/42XqGrfPy_c
Sorry about that GB.... just a being a bit silly for some alternative Mark Knoffler!
DeleteCA. :))
Notting Hillbillies, CA ? Something new every day. Your selections are always very listenable.
DeleteAnd yeah, that low-light, side valve Morrie Minor was my car (except mine was green and the duco was somewhat less shiny). They were originally designed to take a 'sideways engine' if I recall, but Morris chickened out - until the Mini Minor. I bought mine in 1962 - not sure what year it was, maybe 1950 - for £265 and drove to Robinvale to work on the sultana harvest - back when Aussies did pick seasonal fruit.
I've got no recall at all of Borgwards - poor man's Porsche maybe, but still too rich for me, I think.
And Waltham Cross and white muscatel grapes have both completely disappeared and even fresh currants have almost completely gone too (though I could still get fresh ones last season at Camberwell Market but the stall that sold them has closed. Arrgh). And I haven't been able to get a lovely bright red skinned snow apple since I was a kid. [sigh].
DeleteYoni - a strange name for a bloke!
ReplyDeleteLook up the description and find out why.