In which the bromancer leads the way, as he must, but the Caterist makes a generous offer, and Dame Groan is ... well, still Dame Groan ...

Before starting proceedings today, the pond would like to congratulate Melissa Iaria, who provided the first reptile response to the interim Bushfire Commission report.

Other wretched news media such as the ABC started off with climate alarmist hysteria by deigning to mention one aspect of the report:

Australia's a new emergency warning system needs to be finished quickly, the bushfire royal commission has said, after warning of "more frequent and intense" natural disasters in coming decades.

Other sites mentioned it prominently - the New Daily, MSN, and the Canberra Times:

The commission said based on the evidence it had heard, there was a clear need for greater coordination between jurisdictions, with Australia likely to experience more frequent and intense natural disasters over the coming decades.

While a number of bodies have stepped up to fill the gaps, these arrangements were not satisfactory.
"Current arrangements do not provide a clear mechanism to elevate matters to national leaders - that is, the prime minister and other first ministers of states and territories," the commission said.

And Government News also seemed to find it significant:

In its interim report handed down on Monday, the Royal Commission into National Natural Disaster Arrangements warns that Australia is likely to experience more frequent and intense natural disaster over the coming decades.

But our Melissa devoted the opening and much else of her report to the way the interim report exposed data gaps. No need to cater to climate alarmist hysteria from the new religionistas up front, though eventually she had to get around to some sort of mention:

More frequent and intense bushfires are expected over coming decades, however hundreds of thousands of Australians live in at-risk areas.
 
Well down-played grasshopper, you have learned your lesson well at the feet of your reptile overlords. What a wonderful non sequitur, what a fabulous linking of irrelevancies. Best of all, no unseemly theological hysteria, and a passing mention after just about everything else and the kitchen sink were splashed in the coverage.

But what might be causing these more frequent and intense bushfires? Not a clue; however, it might be the fault of hundreds of thousands of Australians living in at-risk areas.

Please, no mention of climate science said the astrologer to the dog botherer, we're all reptile scientists now …

And so to today's outing, and what should greet the pond but this?

Simplistic Simon at his visionary best. By voter acclaim, heil Caesar. No doubt the old folk in aged care will feel tremendously comforted.

The pond hastily moved on, because luckily the bromancer was on hand ... but what about some warm-up material before he takes the stage?

...Trump likewise reposted messages asserting that the real death toll from the coronavirus is only around 9000 — not nearly 183,000 — because the others who died also had other health issues and most were of an advanced age.

"So get this straight — based on the recommendation of doctors Fauci and Birx the US shut down the entire economy based on 9000 American deaths to the China coronavirus," said the summary of an article by the hard-line conservative website Gateway Pundit that was retweeted by the President, denigrating his own health advisers, Dr Anthony Fauci and Dr Deborah Birx.

The post was a distortion of data available on the website of the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, which reports that 6 per cent of coronavirus fatalities list only the virus on the death certificates. For other deaths, the patients had an average of 2.6 other conditions or causes of death. The statistics do not mean that they did not die because of the virus, but help explain who is most vulnerable to it.

Twitter deleted one of the tweets that Trump reposted advancing this claim, replacing it with a message: "This Tweet is no longer available because it violated the Twitter Rules."

But Trump also retweeted a message calling for Cuomo to be locked up because of the high death toll from the coronavirus in New York nursing homes earlier in the pandemic. "#KillerCuomo should be in jail," said the message by actor James Woods, a strong supporter of the President's.

And the President even "liked" a tweet that offered support for Kyle Rittenhouse, a 17-year-old Trump supporter who has been charged with homicide after two demonstrators were shot to death in Kenosha, Wisconsin. "Kyle Rittenhouse is a good example of why I decided to vote for Trump," the tweet said.

That was in The Age, which ripped it from the NY Times where the pond first read it, and it's only part of the deeply weird shit that erupted in the last Twitter rampage ...

And so the laura norder scene - vigilante killings huzzah, truth-telling huzzah, lock 'em up huzzah - is set for the comedy stylings of the bromancer ...

Um, the Donald didn't receive any significant voter bounce either, but whatever, the pond is on board with the bromancer, we must strive for victory ...

And so back to the bromancer, blessed with illustrations of sinister figures in black masks, a sure sign that the radical left is on the move ...

 Indeed, indeed, but before we get to some of those "sophisticated" commentators, please allow the pond to keep celebrating victory with a slightly odd cartoon from a usually far right cartoonist...

Did he really just suggest that the Trumpists were victims of a cult bigger than QAnon? How weird is the world of late ...

And so to the "sophisticated" commentators:

Dear sweet long absent lord, he turned to Andrew Sullivan, who recently got the boot from New York Magazine for being a general prat, and an irritating goose, and is now faced with pretending that he can again be a significant blogger and a commentator worth reading?

And there was another precious petal in The Atlantic and another in the Graudian? It was probably too much for the bromancer to stomach, to quote Michael Moore, but yes, let it be an extremely tight contest, let the bromancer have his wish, indeed let him have his victory ...

 

And then the bromancer and the pond can recite together that great poem ...

And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Donald J Trump, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Who knew you could bankrupt a country without a care

In the way his highness once managed with casinos fair ... 

Okay, okay, the pond is no Shelley, but the pond would like to acknowledge the ongoing efforts of Killer Creighton ...

 

 

Apparently the fearless Killer has taken to moonlighting as a bus driver, and refused to wear a mask, just to show the world how it's done ...

But while the pond appreciates the Killer's ceaseless, endless bravery,  the Caterist was also out and about playing the very same theme, and the pond thought it wise to socially distance, and only run with one of them ...

Of course the Caterist could set an example, and show how painless it is to die. As Sideshow Bob apparently once said, The Caterist The, but first the Caterist would like us to watch a movie ...

Triumph of the Will? Wasn't it banned from YouTube sometime ago, without much of a fuss? But it turns out that the Caterist thinks we need a good dose of entrepreneurial will, an unquenchable spirit ...

Yes, yes, the pond had to wait a long time through all that typical Caterist guff, but surely the man should be honoured.

Who knew that the man would take his own guff seriously? Who knew that after typing the words "those looking to government to solve their problems will wither and die", the Caterist immediately instructed the Menzies Research Centre to return all the funds it had received from the federal government forthwith, as an example to the world ... and to those locals in search of spirit and inspiration ...

Frankly the pond sobbed its heart out and the inspirational Caterist and his bold, brave gesture. No shrinking violet he, never risk averse, and certainly not reliant on government for his withering and dying ...

Why if you want a legendary payout for the reading of the flood waters in quarries, the Caterist is your man (pity about the house, but remember living in a tent on road, eating bucket of coal a day is what this country's all about) ...

 

And governments, amazingly, fund the dribble that emanates from the Caterist. What a lucky country we are ... and what a pity that we failed to follow the US model, the obvious solution to everything ...

How pleased Killer Creighton and the Caterist would be, but sssh, whatever you do, don't mention China's strict lockdown solution, which went beyond the draconian. Only the US if you please ...

 

And so to a bonus, which offers the chance for readers to guess where Dame Groan ends up as she begins one of her penny a word groans ...

 

Oh how the reptiles hate royal commissions, except where they love royal commissions, but have people guessed or worked out where Dame Groan is ultimately heading?

Indeed, indeed, but sundry governments set the international student hare loose long ago, and positively encouraged it, just as the coalition government has long championed the abandoning of regulation and the casualisation of the work force, and might soon reduce meager super so that future generations might rely on the largesse of the federal government for their pensions ...

But it turns out that all this is not particularly relevant when it comes to Dame Groan's real grievance ... instead it's the usual reptile usual, steady as the Groaning ship goes ...

Yes, it's just another reptile singalong featuring the Riddster, the Ramsay Centre, and Bjorn Lomborg, who is suddenly a respected researcher.

Remarkably if you google Lomborg, you discover that his being an author at the lizard Oz makes the front page of hits ... though you also get handy links to him being called a media personality, here,  and to this take down of his errors,  and to his presence on Desmog ... so that's something, at least before the reptiles start offering their own google ...

Oh how Dame Groan loves her denialists ... and her 'bottom line', 'overall picture', 'in summary', 'yes minister' clichés, because heck, these days she's been casualised herself and has to get by on the penny a word system ...

Yes, just why is Dame Groan no longer trading as a prof? Did someone discover that she'd become a tad eccentric in her old age?

Never mind, in light of the ongoing efforts by the will-triumphing Caterist and the Killer Creighton, as a closer the pond was pleased to see the infallible Pope highlight some of the V for Vendetta vandals, who of late have been out and about, creating confusion, chaos, as they riot and wreck things ...