Our Henry frothing and foaming in righteous indignation? It's another Killer Friday ...

 

Sandpapergate was still roiling the reptiles this Friday, making the read light work for cricketphobics...

Simon Longstaff was on hand to ask "Do we really want to know the truth about sandpapergate?", to which the pond could only respond, "deep, hard, hook over silly point" (though the pond did personally save it to the intermittent archive for cricket tragics to ponder).

The pond could also rush past the latest sex scandal ...

DEVELOPING
Nvidia boss quits as Chinese spy scandal engulfs tech giant
Nvidia in crisis as Huang quits and shares plunge
Jensen Huang has resigned as Nvidia chief executive following revelations of two extramarital affairs, including one with an alleged Chinese spy, as the scandal threatens to engulf senior administration figures.
By Joe Kelly

Joe, lesser member of the lizard Oz Kelly gang didn't mention mad King Donald being advised about the scandal before it broke, and deciding to ignore it, but did raise questions ...

...New questions are also emerging over why Mr Trump decided in December 2025 to allow sales of Nvidia’s H200 artificial intelligence chips to China - with the Commerce Department implementing the licensing changes in January.
Speaking to Bloomberg in November, Mr Lutnick said the decision to allow the chip sales “sits right on the desk of Donald Trump.”
In January, Mr Lutnick told the All-In podcast that Mr Huang believed that selling the chips to Beijing would divert business away from Chinese competitors.
Republican Senator for Louisiana John Kennedy said on Wednesday that “the obvious question” was why the US chose to sell the advanced AI chips in the first place.
“Secretary Lutnick needs to answer that in front of God and country. If I were he, I’d call a press conference this afternoon and explain what happened and why he agreed to sell ‘em chips, and I would stop doing it,” he said. “I mean, there will be a congressional investigation … But I don’t think he ought to wait on Congress.”

And Joe quoted the mad king proffering a solution, sillier than most doing the rounds ...

Donald Trump responded by posting on Truth Social: “Now that Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang, who has done a fantastic job, has resigned, there is only one man to take his place - Tim Cook of Apple. A legend replaces a legend.”

As always it's best to look outside the hive mind for real insights, as for example this Reuters chronology ...Trump's ties to Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang in the spotlight.

On the other hand, this modest mention did allow the pond to segue early to the immortal Rowe's take on the scandal ... leather jackets ahoy ...

Then it was straight on to heroic Homeric Henry, reviving the inner west golf scandal so he too could join a bog standard lizard Oz jihad. 

What a relief. No contribution to the Australian Daily Zionist News this day, just righteous indignation ...

Frankly the alleged golf scandal hasn't damaged the pond's trust in politicians, there being none to begin with - they always disappoint (The Wire) - in much the same way that sandpapergate hasn't damaged its interest in cricket, what with only mad dogs and silly people willing to endure the noonday sun, but the pond did enjoy the hole in bucket man's ability to lather up a storm in a tea cup ...

It was good to see our Henry outraged and shocked, and ready to indulge in his usual bout of historical pablum, which might be taken as referencing a trademark for a processed cereal for infants, or a big load of (history laden) hooey ... (is he always this outraged about not being given relief for his ball landing in GUR?)

Our Henry pumping up the faux ranga? Good old candidate selection ...(warning, News Corpse link)

At least Our Henry's faux outrage gave the pond the chance to revert to another immortal Rowe ...

And then it was back for a final bout of indignation, but sadly no Thucydides, even though that scribbler had thoughts on scandals with greater weight than bashing around balls of the cricket or golf kind ...

What a burke (berk if you will), which might well reference the infamous William Burke, killer who sold corpses to anatomists ... or it might just be a reference to the way Our Henry fails to note the compleat lack of quality in the One Nation line up of burkes and no hopers and dropkick losers ...

Gladstone? The same Gladstone who compulsively indulged in rescue work with London prostitutes and secret self-flagellation?

...The editors of Gladstone’s diaries noted a curious mark in the diaries which they have interpreted as a whip. Gladstone was most likely a flagellant, who atoned for sin by mortification of the flesh. This was administered after, and not during, the meeting with the prostitutes. It was in line with practice among many Anglo-Catholics of Gladstone’s generation. Newman used a scourge, and F.B. Pusey asked Gladstone’s friend, James Hope, to bring him a ‘discipline’ from the Continent. It is here that we may find the clue to the secret Gladstone wished to keep from posterity. Fornication was not his vice. His vice was flagellation.

It is hardly surprising that Gladstone wished to keep this medieval practice hidden from the Victorian world. Conversations with prostitutes were allowable – indulgence in sado-masochism certainly was not. Anglo-Catholicism was barely tolerated, particularly by the Nonconformists who were the bedrock of Gladstone’s Liberal Party. Secrecy was the logical consequence of Gladstone’s encounter with the English Vice.

Ah, that Gladstone ...

As for that end note, "Want to join the Contest of Ideas?"

Say what? Can the pond "Contest the Obdurate Use of Capital Letters"?

What a sad thing to see, desperate reptiles getting into the "newsletter" in your box routine, with the enticement that it's "free", which is to say it freely involves the chance for them to freely bombard your box with pleas to subscribe ... and this feeble marketing pitch somehow involves the "Contest of Ideas"?

As if jihadists are ever interested in having their ideas contested, as if the hive mind was a home for contested ideas.

Hard hook over silly point ... and a chance to slip in the infallible Pope, looking at something which might well involve a real heavy cost ...

And that was a convenient way to segue to the malignant Magnay, with her superficial coverage of COP31 over on the extreme far right early in the morning ...

Now there's a matter of real concern, but it didn't enter the noggin of quaint old climate science denying Henry, what with him being firmly in the camp for clean, decent, dinkum, virginal Oz coal ...

Sure, it's odd to see the reptiles give the government a hard time over coal, but whatever ... broken clocks and all that ...

Indeed, indeed ...but sometimes there can be strange results ...

On the other hand ...

And so to Killer Creighton, always waiting in the wings on a Friday to give the official IPA take on things, and waddya kno, Killer was strangely pleased by the housing situation ...

The pond was left speechless, as Killer kept on promoting the slump as a good thing, and with graphs!

Is Killer angling for a job with the government? Quick, another graph ...

Yet more "Contest of Ideas"? The reptiles are really giving this a promotional hammering. What happened to asking AI?

As if the pond could just blithely walk past Killer's shocking suggestions to the hive mind ...

And so the pond moved from sandpapergate to savouring the joys of a slump, and didn't have much time to think about the mad King's slump and all it might portend ...

Speaking of Vlad the invading sociopath, as the pond sometimes does ...

Another dismal Thursday, with only the echo Chambers, the mad King and the lizard Oz editorialists as distractions ...

 

With sandpapergate preoccupying the reptiles this morning at the top of the "news"section - losers and cricket, who cares? - the pond had to move further down the page to discover the usual reptile jihads ...

OP31
Albanese, Bowen demand climate action as Paris goal perishes
Anthony Albanese delivered his maiden speech at a COP summit, followed by his energy minister Chris Bowen who warned of a cost of living crisis spreading around the globe.
By Perry Williams in Antalya

FREE FALL
No recovery in sight as housing collapse deepens
Housing collapse deepens as first-home buyers and investors flee falling marke
New ABS figures reveal home loans have collapsed 26 per cent this year, with a leading financier warning Australia faces its worst housing downturn in history.
By Thomas Henry and Matthew Cranston

EXCLUSIVE
PM says no to religion-free terror law
Anthony Albanese will stare down a push by a security watchdog to scrap religion as a motive for terrorism in federal law.
By Ben Packham, Elizabeth Pike and Geoff Chambers

That sent the echo Chambers right off ...

COMMENTARY by GEOF CHAMBERS
The 12 steps woke Labor took to break national security trust
It is time to remove wokeness and political bias from national security decisions, give our agencies the resources they need and change laws to lock-up terrorists, hate preachers and spies.

The pond regrets that in Chambering a round, this Geoff evoked "woke" from the get go, which immediately triggered a pond contractual requirement ...

With the contractual obligations honoured, the pond could move on...

Ah, the real aim of the echo Chambers - not so thinly veiled Islamophobia, with graphs to boot...

That word "woke" kept returning like a recurrent nightmare ...

The pond is well over the real aim of the echo Chambers - rampant Islamophobia - but will take up the issue of the woeful Segal.

Michael Bradley wrote an extended piece for Crikey back on 15th July 2026...

Jillian Segal’s circular logic on ‘modern-day antisemitism’ (possible paywall)
The antisemitism envoy’s appearance before the royal commission proved she remains — like all of us — confused as to what she believes constitutes antisemitic reporting by the public broadcasters. 

...I was keen to fully understand her case against the public broadcasters.
Segal maintains that the ABC needs an oversight committee imposed on it. She wanted it to include Jewish community members, but under questioning by the commissioner, she retreated to an insistence that the appointed members must have an understanding of “modern-day antisemitism”.
Segal repeated this term throughout her testimony, so I was intrigued as to what she thinks it is. A clue was her statement that “racism doesn’t pick up the important different aspects of antisemitism” and therefore “having an anti-racism policy doesn’t help with modern-day antisemitism”.

Oh heck, might as well go the full hog, there being no reptiles of distinction or interest to hand this Thursday ...

And that brought Bradley back to that wretched definition...

Throw in Jeff Sparrow, also at Crikey...

Jillian Segal’s report is a Trumpian plan to curtail free speech
The new report by Anthony Albanese’s special envoy to combat antisemitism is as conspiratorial as it is a genuine threat to anyone expressing criticism of the state of Israel.

The pond has drunk at this well before, so inter alia ...

In that weird world, this cartoon might even count as antisemitic ...

The pond had to eventually get to the reptiles over on the extreme far right, with petulant Peta briefly top of the digital world ma ... and beyond the predictable... blathering about the failures of the Albo government in a way that only the architect of one of the worst governments in Australian history might manage ...

The PM is running down his goodwill account with voters
The Albanese government has over-promised and under-delivered. Voters are losing trust in an out-of-touch PM.
By Peta Credlin
Columnist

The pond never pays attention to this sort of jihad ... it's there in the archive for those who want it ...

Jack was doing a repeat of something the pond noted yesterday, with the headline pinning the blame on the Beeb, as if other UK media outlets hadn't been in on that game:

How the UK entertainment industry embraced Russell Brand’s predatory persona
Russell Brand, the BBC’s own remorseless predator, was protected by the industry
Russell Brand’s sentencing lays bare how television executives shielded a predator to keep the ratings machine turning.
By Jack the Insider
Columnist

Somehow Jack managed to evade the intermittent archive, but nothing he said added to what had already been said, so (spoiler alert), the pond just sampled the closer...

Bizarrely the reptiles always somehow manage to find space for Chairman Xi propaganda, which is odd given the way their many correspondents thirst for a war with China by Xmas ...

Ambassador: Closer China ties are a boost to Australia in region
APEC a plus for more co-operation with Beijing
China and Australia are important economies in the Asia-Pacific, and Beijing’s representative in Canberra says they are natural partners with complementary economic strengths.
By Liu Jinsong

The pond supposes that this is easier than looking at the failing, flailing world of mad King Donald and his minions ...

That reptile winnowing left just one guest reptile standing, with that Horsey predicting the topic.

The pond was immediately suspicious because of the use of "Anglosphere", a curious term at best, often down there with "woke" or "western civilisation" in reptile speak...

The "Anglosphere" hive mind wasn't happy, with the few who'd bothered to comment deeply concerned about the "woke left wing agenda" ...

When the pond checked back, a lizard Oz editorial berating "Bowen's power play" had replaced this blather on the extreme far right of the digital page, but the pond pressed on ...

Oh dear, what a tragic, pitiful attempt to sell the notion of the "Anglosphere", but on the other hand, should the pond be celebrating? Does this mean the end of News Corporation, the complete failure of Faux Noise?

They're still doing it ... dissembling, downplaying, distracting and coddling ...

Fox News’ Hannity Tries to Downplay GOP’s Midterms Disaster: ‘Kind of More Normal Than Not’

...he predicted that Trump would ultimately be vindicated, arguing that voters would have a more favorable view of his presidency by the next election.

Does the author have the first clue about the rag he's scribbling for?

Apparently not ...

Sorry Mr Easson this is the sort of stuff the hive mind wants to read ...

That's more like it, isn't it Mr Easson? A full throated assault on renewables, and a deep yearning for a return to the days of sweet, innocent, virginal, exceptionally clean Oz coal ...

If only you'd understood the hive mind and the lizard Oz devotion to jihads.

And why didn't you mention Benji in your outing Mr Easson? 

Was it deliberate that you left it to the lizard Oz editorialist to take care of everything?

And with that cunning ploy to save Benji done, it was time for the immortal Rowe of the day ...

The pond is devoted to art, though Kimmel was possibly right in saying that the portrait looked more like him than the mad King ...

In which "Ned" goes Luddite, Dame Slap goes 18C, and the climate of reptile discourse goes to hell ...

 

Margaret Sullivan was writing about the US when she deployed the words "Sane-washing, sanitizing, pussy-footing and soft-pedaling", but they pretty much apply to the lizard Oz scribblers down under. (‘Reborn in the USA’)

And Parker Molloy thought "everyone’s doing a fair bit of cherry-picking to get to the conclusions they want to reach" in relation to the recent US elections (Everybody Wants Credit for the Blue Wave, Just a friendly reminder that the people pumping out post-election analysis pieces usually have their own agendas and vested interests - paywall)

And speaking of weird agendas, naturally "Ned" of the Everest climb brought his own interpretation to the results:

The pond suspects there was more to the midterms than Musk and AI, but whatever, the pond will accept this shift in reptile thinking, perhaps part of a general News Corporation realignment as they realise they backed a bunch of dropkick losers ... and Faux Noise itself has found itself in the category of a dropkick loser.

Even as the reptiles keep offering a totally useless version of AI, "Ned" decided big tech and the bros were a nice, safe, juicy target, and even invoked an alleged veygan ...

How could the pond resist asking the caps hating hive mind AI?

Glad that's sorted, on to the final "Ned" gobbet, more a base camp than an Everest climb this day, as somehow the Pope got dragged into the mix ...

Hang on a tic, wait a sec, half a mo, the pond had to check on that ...

Right ho, soul brother AI.

Now, what else?

The reptiles were at it again when it came to the climate.

Three reptiles were tag teamed to produce the usual doom and gloom scenario at the top of the digital "news", ma (all the usual abuse that's unfit to print):

EXCLUSIVE
Wholesale hell: power prices to double by 2029, modelling shows
The startling forecasts lump further pressure on Climate Minister Chris Bowen after he conceded Labor had ‘more work to do’ to deliver household bill relief while at COP31 this week.
By Perry Williams, Ben Packham and Jacquelin Magnay

When will the reptiles assemble a team to scribble about planetary hell as the worst impacts of climate change unfold around us?

The malignant Magnay doubled down with her own entry:

COP31
Bowen defends green push amid soaring power bills

COP31: Chris Bowen defends renewables as energy prices soar
Climate Change Minister Chris Bowen has conceded Australia is ‘not declaring victory’ on electricity prices while urging the world to rapidly increase electrification at COP31.
By Jacquelin Magnay

For no particular reason the echo Chambers tagged along ...

COMMENTARY by GEOFF CHAMBERS
Voters hot under the collar over a frosty Albo
The PM is seeking to justify successive trips by linking them to efforts to ease the financial burden of those Australian families who can only dream of overseas travel right now.

Was "frosty" enough reason to include the echo Chambers in the climate action?

Nah, he was just helping out with the familiar reptile litany ...

...Global uncertainty is fuelled by the threat of China reclaiming Taiwan by force, trade wars, instability in the White House, conflicts in the Middle East and Ukraine, and soaring oil prices.
Closer to home, the slow rollout of renewables, accelerated shutdown of coal-fired power stations, failure to build-up adequate gas infrastructure and refusal to consider nuclear has put Australia on course for skyrocketing energy prices by 2029.

Ah, the suffering of poor old innocent, virginal, clean, dinkum coal.

What about climate science? Don't you worry about that ...

If Albanese and his besieged Treasurer Jim Chalmers weren’t under so much pressure, the Labor leader may have got away with ­attending his first COP summit since becoming Prime Minister.
Albanese would argue his government is proud champions of climate action and that Labor and Greens voters who put them in ­office would expect strong ­advocacy. That thinking ignores millions of Australians who are more worried about the cost of living and housing crises than global climate change summits.

Yeah, don't you worry about all those tall stories of catastrophes and disasters related to climate change.

The pond stuck figures in ears and consigned them all to the archive so that it could find the space to run the infallible Pope's response.

What else?

Well Jennifer went west ...

By Jennifer Westacott
The new airport is open – now comes the difficult par

Stop right there, that exceeded the pond's capacity for boredom in a bigly way. Off to the archive with you.

Perforce, the pond reluctantly turned to Dame Slap for its filler, as the Dame valiantly battled for the faux, bottle styled ranga ...

Uh oh, when Dame Slap writes about "good news", bad news is as sure to follow as a ceremonial MAGA cap-donning ritual.

You guessed it, we're back with the Bolter and 18C ...

"This is untenable"?

Is that in reference to the Dame Slap logic that sees her reverting to a "judicial invention dreamt up by the court" as the first line of defence?

Whatever, as the immortal George once remarked, bigots gotta do what bigots gotta do ... (I will always defend the right to be a bigot. It’s hypocrisy that annoys me more, *intermittent archive link)

Inter alia:

By golly, he and Dame Slap are on the same team.

Sorry, the pond hadn't meant to distract from Dame Slap's closing thoughts, aka the rage machine raging away ...

But will Dame Slap put herself back in her MAGA cap donning box? Will she ever reconsider her folly and repent?

Will she ever be brave enough to ask herself whey she frequently ends up sounding incredibly stupid, and holding the wrong end of the donkey?

The pond has been waiting a terribly long time for that moment, as the consequences of being a MAGAt continue to unfold ...

As a bonus to that bonus, Jack was on hand, wondering ...

By Jack Butler
Who’s responsible for Russell Brand’s right-wash?

Now there's a thought, what with Brand having insinuated himself into the fundie Xian evangelical circuit, and just as deeply into RFK Jr and the GOP ...

That's the snap they went with? 

The dumb as a stick piss drinking Bear Grylls?

This was a WSJ pick up, and the pond wondered by Jack simply didn't assemble a few different, much more revealing snaps ...

Dear sweet long absent lord, what a way to defame a hapless lizard, and how they all like being jacked, eh Jack?

They were all at it ...

And what about these?

Would Jack ping all those lickspittle fellow travellers?

He did give a dishonourable mention to DT Jr, but managed to deflect from all the GOP and US Xian devotion by dragging in that silly Pom Bear, the equally silly Tucker, and the deeply weird Musk ...

Credit where credit is also due ...

Take it away Jack ...

So it goes Jack, what with the mad King already pedalling his pet "stolen election" lies ...and Kegsbreath valiantly invoking the Nuremberg defence.

And so to close with the immortal Rowe, and imagine the pond's surprise and pleasure to see that he too went the cricket ball/sandpaper riff ...

How are the reptiles not pleased? In their eyes the planet could do with a little more roughing up ...

And now, recorded as it happened ...