For a nanosecond, the pond idly toyed with the notion of a nattering "Ned" v. Crikey smackdown as the day's entertainment, but "Ned" and the reptiles have been clinging to an agenda so devoid of balance and judgment for so long that it hardly seemed novel, or even a fair fight ...
Besides, the war on comrade Dan has been going on for months now ... and since yesterday, an entirely different front has opened up, with the reptiles in an uproar about the war with China ...
Chinese borers! What a great angle. Banning bamboo will surely nail that wretched dictator to the wall ...
Naturally in these dire times, the pond immediately turned to the bromancer, for a bold, brave confrontation with the Chinese dictator ...
Imagine the pond's alarm at the tepid photograph. A bloody ambassador? What the heck?
Where were the bold, brave reptiles of only a short time ago?
Surely the bromancer would maintain the rage, keep up the reptile good fight ...
The relationship is now in trouble? This is news? By golly, over at Crikey, Christopher Warren was inclined to let the Murdochians off the hook ...
Ham-fisted and hysterical? Well, it sort of lets them off the hook, because that's really only business as usual ...
But back in the day brave little Timmie Bleagh knew how to stand up to the dictator ...
And so on and on ... defiant, brave, proud ...
And though the pond missed it, thanks to Peter Hannam apparently Jimbo Molan has already declared war in the Terror...
Suckers and losers can click on that second image to get the gist of it, but the pond knew immediately from the headline. The war has already begun!
Well if war has already begun, the pond knows exactly what to do, and it isn't just following Jimbo in ordering up a bit more kit.
Gina and Twiggy must be instructed immediately that they can't ship iron ore, or clean, dinkum, pure, innocent Oz coal to China forthwith. We wouldn't want to make the Pigiron Bob mistake and have our exports turned against us, and who knows some huge chunk of iron ore taking out Surry Hills and HQ.
Yes, we must bunker down, we must turn the Murdochian HQ in Surry Hills into a fortified central command, and if we are wise, we will appoint little Timmie Bleagh as our chief strategist, diplomat and bottle washer ... (yes, yes, the pond knows that Jimbo wants the gig, but we want someone with subtlety and nuance, and so who better than Bleagh the blaggard?) ...
Oh the pond was in a fiery fighting frenzy, but wondered if it should finish off the bromancer first...
It is not in Australia's interest for things to get worse? But Jimbo has already said the war has begun. How could it get worse? What is this talk of reducing the sense of crisis and seeking whatever avenues available to resume effective dialogue?
How on earth is that going to sell copies of the Terror and the HUN? How would it look if SloMo faltered, just when he was proving to the Donald what a tremendously expert suck he is?
Sad to say, the pond read other reports in the lizard Oz this day about the war on China, and they all sounded alarmingly moderate ...
For a moment, the pond had to put thoughts of little Timmie Bleagh, the Terror gang, Jimbo and the like out of mind ...
Yes, indeed, but what of the war? How should we prepare? What of the Donald? Do we have enough kit?
That's the positive? Deary me, it seems that just like the bromancer, the other guest reptiles are running up the white flag ...
What, the Chinese can beat little Timmie Bleagh, the HUN and the Terror in the race to the bottom?
How dare this Richard McGregor chap insult our brave lizard Murdochian lads ...
But what do you know, the same timid tone infested this piece too ...
Left in the dark?
And yet there was a time that we were fully informed ... not by the reptiles of course, but by the ABC, which actually had a correspondent on the ground, while the reptiles conducted their war on China from the safety of their Surry Hills bunker ...
Indeed, indeed, it is a dictatorship, and it's getting much worse, so what's the guest reptile solution?
Crucial relationship? But they're all batty and "panda"demonic ... the Terror and the HUN told the pond so ...
Mumbrella here ...
The pond regrets to say there is nothing more to say, except to congratulate the reptiles and SloMo for making it all about us, and trade, while Hong Kong burned.
And now we are at war, so Jimbo assures us, and we must avoid the Pigiron Bob mistake, and as Jimbo is lacking a little in strategic nous, let the pond remind him that the first thing Gina and Twiggy must do is stop shipping stuff to China. The pond has every confidence that the IPA will fully support the move, and all the reptiles as well, especially the valiant Dame Slap type of warrior, even if she went MIA today ...
On a positive note, looking at the bright side in this crucial relationship, it will do wonders for the environment ...
And so to the infallible Pope and the immortal Rowe on today's events, with more Rowe here, and sorry, no link for the Pope, trapped in a confessional paywall ...
Once upon a time, there were many 'Chinas' - this is, after all, the land of "Tian gao, huangdi yuan" [Heaven is high, and the Emperor is far away]. But maybe, for perhaps the first time since Qin Shi Huangdi in 221BCE, China has become a single, unified empire with everyone a 'wolf warrior'.
ReplyDeleteAnd if so, maybe it will last for a very long time: "Its 15 years [of the Zhou dynasty] was the shortest major dynasty in Chinese history, consisting of only two emperors, but inaugurated an imperial system that lasted from 221 BC, with interruption and adaptation, until 1912 AD." And now the Xi Jinping dynasty might also last for 2133 years.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qin_dynasty
Says the Bromancer: "This sequence of events is unprecedented, bizarre, ominous and a pointer to an immediate future likely to become more fraught and more dangerous."
ReplyDeleteHe does love his little bouts of "unprecedented drama" doesn't he. 'God is good for you' he reckons, but China is "fraught and more dangerous". What it appears, at least to me, is that the Chinese hierarchy, and not for the first time in China's long history, just wants all the round-eyed foreigners to exit from China, and if they have to lock a few people up indefinitely to get that message across, so be it. Especially if the people it locks up are traitorous types that have taken foreign citizenship and employment and then think that empowers them to criticise the CCP.
Besides, there's nothing truly discriminatory about it:
"Wang [Yaqiu Wang, China researcher for Human Rights Watch] adds that the treatment of Yang and Cheng happens to Chinese citizens all the time."
and in Cheng's case: "But on her private Facebook page she was highly critical of the government's response to the coronavirus crisis and the leadership of Xi Jinping, mocking him as "dear leader"."
https://www.smh.com.au/world/asia/sucked-into-china-s-black-hole-of-a-justice-system-australians-fighting-for-their-lives-20200903-p55rxd.html
Well, there ya go, criticism is always "fraught and dangerous". Just ask Annika Smethurst ... and maybe Sam Clarke and Dan Oakes too.
Haven't fished any further than this tweet but it would provide a bit more context if this is true.
Deletehttps://twitter.com/StephenMcDonell/status/1303441778209628161
Oh pish tush, Bef; if those chinks keep on complaining we won't invite 'em back to dig any more of our mines or build any more of our rail lines.
DeleteBut I wouldn't put it past our security "deep state" to go harassing Chinese journos in Australia any more than I would put it past the 'wolf warriors' to conduct nefarious activities in Australia.
Anyone might think it's par for the course.
Deletehttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-11-08/the-chinese-embassy-bugging-controversy/5079148
"Former Australian intelligence officers alleged that Australians had taken all the risks, yet once listening devices were operational, the US assumed control of the bugging and selectively withheld diplomatic and economic intelligence gleaned from the operation.
The former Australian spies claimed that in withholding information, the US gained a competitive edge over Australia in trade deals with China."
Australian governments don't seem to realise how they are being gamed by all parties.
Loved some of the bits by Rowan Callick though: "Correspondents have always come under surveillance -- in part because the PRC still finds it difficult to comprehend that Western media can be truly independent of their governments." Really ? But can the PRC comprehend that 'Western' governments can't be truly independent of their media ?
DeleteAnd this: "The dramatic Crown Casino arrests [have we all forgotten them ?] distracted me for a fortnight, but when I returned to the draft on my laptop..." He just left his laptop on (lid up and showing the screen ?) for 14 days ! Wau, if the Chinese had wanted to hack into his laptop I would have thought that amounted to a 'rolled gold' invitation and opportunity. And I think he's telling us that they did accept the invitation. Just as well the PRC media isn't in direct competition with 'The Australian', isn't it.
Just as well those "Australian governments" knew very well how to "game" the East Timorese, then. Sheesh, those little brown buggers might have gotten away with a fair deal over oil and gas fields otherwise.
DeleteNever mind the war on China, how about the awful, terrible war of good old Aussie coal oi oi oi. You turn your back and they're out there making coal, and gas (and shh batteries too) obsolete. Meet the MGA blocks:
ReplyDeletehttps://theconversation.com/aussie-invention-could-save-old-coal-stations-by-running-them-on-zero-emissions-lego-blocks-144864