In which the enormously silly bromancer sticks with coal, and the pond gets an NBN sting in the tail from the savvy Savva ...

 

For years, the pond wasted endless time scribbling about the NBN fuck up, and the way it was fucked up, by Coalition politicians and by News Corp and by all its loon columnists, and now it has come to pass that everyone agrees it is a fuck-up, and they're proposing to fix the fuck-up, but the fuckers are so useless in their fucked-up ways that it's likely to stay fucked up for a very long time.

So now the pond has little to say about the NBN - why waste the fucked-up time? - and will move gracefully on to consider the reptiles and their latest fucked-up contributions to the world of thoughts, ideas and science.

And what do you know? Not content with having fucked up the NBN, the reptiles persist in their desire to fuck up the planet, and here's the bromancer leading the way and reminding us how it's best done ... 

 

 

Oh fucketty fuck, they're going to do the coal song again, as ancient now as the Pythons doing their Lumberjack routine ...

 

As usual when confronted with this sort of bullshit bromancer blather about crazy woke fantasies, the pond always recommends some alternative reading. 

Why not start with Melting Antarctic ice will raise sea level by 2.5 metres - even if Paris climate goals are met, study finds ... research says melting will continue even if temperature rises are limited to 2C.

And so to the reptile war on China.  Remember how the Chinese dictatorship is awful and likely responsible for the virus, and is woeful on human rights, and in every which way is a shameful beast? 

Nope, sorry, not when it comes to fucking the planet. The Chinese dictatorship is wholly admirable in its love of coal, and we should encourage them in fucking the planet, and emulate them at every turn ...

 

Meanwhile on another planet ... 'They're suffering now': Americans scramble to adapt to the daily reality of climate crisis ...

...Climate effects broadly are more likely to hurt people of color, both globally and within the US. A huge body of research shows that air pollution hurts the poor and people of color the most. Because of systemic racism, those vulnerable populations are more likely to live near polluting factories and highways and to have chronic health conditions, and they are less likely to have adequate healthcare. They are also less likely to have the financial means to purchase tools to help limit the dire effects of climate change, from wildfire smoke and heat to sea-level rise and flooding.

“People are adapting everywhere, and everybody’s seeing the effects of a changing climate,” said Kristie Ebi, a climate researcher and professor at the University of Washington’s Center for Health and the Global Environment.

Ebi said adapting to current climate change and trying to stem the crisis were equally important.

“The CO2 we have in the atmosphere right now will drive climate change for several more decades, so we have to mitigate, to reduce, the kinds of impacts we’re going to see in several decades,” Ebi said. “But in the short term, people are dying and suffering now.”

Adaptation is necessary, but it’s also expensive and unavailable to many.

And so on and on. It's like the NBN on a global scale, and the bromancer is doing his best with typical reptile stupidities and nonsense...

 

They'll never give up, not until the planet is fucked completely and comprehensively and beyond recovery. 

The pond's only consolation? As the bromancer follows his beloved Chinese dictator down the garden path, the United States has been fucked by News Corp in its Fox News guise, and so we're all doomed to go down laughing at the cartoons ...

 

And so to the savvy Savva ...

 

The pond isn't sure where the savvy Savva has been, but there's always a sting in the tail, and so the pond will try to get there as quickly as possible ...

 

 

Sorry, savvy Savva, we already know the extent of SloMo's courage and imagination. Blame the states, speak in tongues, and wait for the arrival of the rapture as the best solution to everything. Can we please get to the sting in the tail?

 

He has been cut much slack? Is that what you call the arse-licking indulged in by News Corp and the likes of simplistic Simon and the bouffant Shanners and the mindless Major? Never mind, the sting in the tail, if you please ...

 

Oh dear, there you go, she did it, she set the pond off, and so it felt the need to take a look at the reptile coverage of this latest farce ...

 

Of course there's not a word in it about the reptiles' role in this folly. All that herculean effort by Akker Dakker, Miranda the Devine, the Bolter, and all the others called on to help save the Chairman's antiquated business plan, Foxtel, and in the process, downgrade the system, because that's what reptiles in the Surry Hills bubble sipping the Chairman's kool-aid do ...

 

So, as a glutton for punishment, the pond plunged on, looking for remorse and an apology from News Corp and all its pundits for the role they played in their folly.

Yes, the pond is delusional ... but for many years it delighted in the works of the infallible Pope, especially when it came to the NBN ...

So it only seems fair to start the conversation with the latest infallible Pope outing ...

 

 

Hey ho, on we go, with certainty apparently now looming ...

 

This time there were two gobbets to the coverage, with the most gigantic, hypocritical back flip in recent times - apart from abandoning coal for gas - now deemed merely a "shake-up" that would bring "certainty" ...

 

Actually at this point, the pond's head exploded, and it reverted to a story in Crikey, behind the paywall here.

The pond usually leaves Crikey to its own devices, the poor buggers do what they can to survive, and the pond doesn't like to do a reptile on them, and take their stories from their mouths.

And yet this succinct little history isn't something you'll ever find in reptile pages ... as Kishor Napier-Raman scribbled Remember when fibre to the home was evil? A decade on, Liberals eat their words.

And as they ate their words, the pond felt the need to add a few words:

The Coalition (and News Corp) has spent the past decade denigrating Kevin Rudd's plan for faster internet. Today, they're enacting it.
It’s a backflip more than a decade in the making. Today, Communications Minister Paul Fletcher unveiled the Coalition’s big new plan to bring high-speed fibre-to-the-home internet to 2 million households around the country.
You could almost see Kevin Rudd’s face reddening. In 2009 the then-prime minister proposed a plan in which fibre-optic cables would run straight to people’s homes, delivering super-fast internet. For three years, the Coalition (and News Corp and all its star loons, stupid people drinking the company kool aid) savaged that plan as a costly white elephant — yet another sign of Labor’s extravagant fiscal profligacy.
Then, after winning the 2013 election, they swiftly ditched Labor’s plan for a multi-technology mix, which saved money but delivered slower internet. Then the pandemic hit, everyone started working from home, and Australia’s internet infrastructure looked pretty inadequate.
Now that the Coalition (and News Corp? Not bloody likely, they still get up at dawn to eat coal and watch the telly using rabbit-ears because it was good enough in 1970) is finally realising Rudd’s plan, it’s worth having a look at what the Liberals have said about fibre to the home over the years.
The Coalition’s (and News Corps' and all its loon columnists') attacks on the NBN were driven by Abbott — a notorious luddite — who, in 2010, ordered then-communications minister Malcolm Turnbull to “demolish” it.
Abbott, the two-fingered typer, couldn’t understand why Labor would spend taxpayers’ money on a “video entertainment system”. That quote comes from this 2010 press conference where he and Turnbull chuckled at the prospect of people watching things on the internet.
In 2012, he said the NBN was “the greatest white elephant this country has ever seen”. It was far more important, he said, to get the Pacific Highway duplicated.
In a simpler time, a more loyal Turnbull relished his role as Abbott’s NBN attack dog (and how News Corp and its loon columnists loved him for his arrogant delusions and monstrous attack dog stupidity). In 2010, he said Australians just didn’t want the internet speeds that 100Mbps fibre to the home would deliver. A decade on, Fletcher’s fibre-to-the-home pivot will be based on household demand.
Like Abbott, Turnbull’s attacks focused on the supposedly obscene cost of fibre to the home. In 2013 he said, “[it’s] like saying to a builder, just build me a big house, I don’t need a quote, I don’t need a contract”.
After the election, Turnbull was tasked with junking fibre to the home. Before getting the results of a key review into the NBN, he proceeded with a pivot to a multiple technology mix. None of this, of course, stopped Turnbull from ensuring his Point Piper mansion had internet speeds of 100Mbps.
Paul Fletcher, architect of the backflip and a former Optus executive (yes, the pond once endured the most fucked-up service in the world, as supplied by a completely fucked-up Optus), also had some choice words about fibre to the home. In 2012, he argued that Labor’s plan would “entrench a digital divide” and that a fibre-to-the-node system could still deliver a “fast and rich internet experience”.
In 2015, he praised Turnbull’s “fact-based approach” to the NBN, and said that a multi-technology mix was “the best way to deliver high speeds”.
His predecessor, Mitch Fifield, sang from the same hymnbook. Last year he argued that the Coalition had taken over a failing Labor project and actually delivered better internet speeds. And earlier this year, as Kevin Rudd started firing potshots at the Coalition over the NBN, Fletcher hit back.
“Labor’s plan for the NBN was fanciful — and Labor’s implementation of it was hopeless,” he wrote in an AFR op-ed.  “The NBN has come through just when our nation needed it most,” he declared.
Within months, he’d changed his mind.

Of course all this was also endlessly detailed in the pond at the time it was happening, but who can be bothered trudging back through the years of wasted time, wasting yet more time?

And we know where the onion muncher has gone, but where is Malware now? 

Oh he was so brave when he came out to berate the Coalition for its new and completely useless energy policy, but he couldn't say much about the NBN backflip, could he, the gutless wonder and immensely stupid man, seeing as how he'd lived to see his monstrous stupidity demonstrated as epic folly...

And now just to finish the reptile coverage, supposed to be a "shake-up", but really a shake-down because they just want to fix the NBN in key markets so they can flog it off ... and as the savvy Savva noted, spend the money on God knows what other stupidity, maybe tax cuts for the rich ...

 

Good on you Swannie, that's as fancy a bit of reptile spin as the pond has seen in recent days, down there with all the lies and spinning done about the original NBN plan.

But what about the bill? Well the pond suggests that the entire cost be paid for by the onion muncher, Malware, all the ministers in the Coalition governments that set the fucked-up Coalition plans in motion, together with News Corp and all the loon columnists who wrote in opposition to FTTH and celebrated the wonders of FTTN. 

And while we're at it, why not get in early and have a News Corp fire sale, if you'll pardon the grim humour in the term? Everything must go, to pay for the damage the reptiles are still doing to the world.

It goes without saying that the immortal Rowe finds some humour in it, which, along with the infallible Pope, is about the only good news this day …