Could it be that he was racially discriminationed against because he had trouble communicating in English with his Brit wife?
Could it be that we need to drink more and spell less? Who knows, the pond leaves the mystery to the reptiles and Jack, and moves on to the pond's usual Saturday discrimination assaults on the reptiles … (and no, the pond will not be discriminating in its discriminated way).
First up is the bromancer, because whenever and whatever the bromancer speaks, the pond is compelled to listen, and when he gets going on the reptile war with China, well ... it's an an unavoidable test of pond reader resolve ...
Sheesh, did the bromancer just run up the white flag and declare the war over, and what's more, with China the victor? Hard times for country, with a lump of tar for breakfast? Could you spare a noodle, guv'nor, for an honest reptile digger?
But if we're at war with China, should we be sending our commodities at all? As the pond has asked before, do we want to repeat the Pigiron Bob mistake? Alas and alack, it's too late for any of that ... and it's a lump of tar for lunch too ...
Uh huh, so we're doomed? Can't be subtle and nuanced, can't moderate our tone, must be belligerent and keep on with the war, but wait, haven't we already lost the war?
So we're entirely innocent and certainly wouldn't bug a small country to get an edge in trade negotiations and then cover it up with a Star Chamber trial, in a way that would put the Chinese dictatorship to shame? Do we conduct wars in foreign countries and then do our very best to cover up our shameful war crimes with interminable secret "studies"?
Sssh, the subject is the war with China ...
But what about the Donald? Surely the Donald will save us?
Oh dear, at the end of all that, the pond found it very hard to do a Donald, adopt a Churchillian outlook, and stay calm and carry on ...
Wasn't the bromancer supposed to play it down, and create a calm and avoid a panic? Quick, where's the nearest cliff, we're all doomed, and we'll be having a lump of tar for Xmas dinner ...
And so to nattering "Ned", and while "Ned" has been busy elsewhere in the lizard Oz, and will likely feature in the pond on the morrow, the pond just wanted to note this marvel ... because it was remarkably short ...
Indeed, it was so short that the pond had room for an immortal Rowe, reminding us of the small-minded state of the state of NSW and what John Birmingham called the Barilomonkeys affair in the ballad of Sir Barilaro ...
More Rowe here ... and now on with "Ned" thinking big, but remember, to think big, you must scribble short ...
Around this point, the pond should note that it entirely missed the spectre of sandgroper secession, with the reptiles raising the alarm, courtesy of some loon from the west, one Patrick Gorman, the federal member of Perth, on whom the reptiles wasted a cult master outing ...
Even worse, the reptiles doubled down, and offered a mobile phone friendly portrait of Clive ...
But the target is still Victoria. Every reptile with a shred of integrity fears and loathes Comrade Dan, and the filthy vile socialist Victorians who put him in power, and quite possibly prefer L'Age to the lizard Oz ...
Sorry, that detour was only for the illustrations, and the hope that Tamworth might yet secede and become proud capital of the state of New England, and now back to "Ned", and see, as promised, how short the final gobbet is ... because to think big, you must scribble short, and don't forget a superabundance of clichés ...you know, team spirit, take the ball up the guts, sniff the bums in the scrum, and such like ...
Why it was so short the pond could spare the space for an infallible Pope, contemplating how much better NSW is than Victoria when it comes to koala care ...
And so to the United States.
Apparently Bob Woodward has a book coming out, and in it he reveals the contents of some nine hours of conversations with the Donald.
You've heard? Apparently you don't read the lizard Oz then, because, newsflash, they haven't heard.
Strangely, magically, mysteriously, Woodward has been disappeared ... and instead what we get is jolly Joe, rugger bugger bum sniffer nonpareil oozing with condescension to the "little woman" ...
Please, stand clear little women, make room for the boofhead ...
Will jolly Joe mention Woodward and the Donald's cornucopia of killer lies? Of course not. He knows the house style, he knows how to lie, dissemble, conflate and confuse with the best of the reptiles ..
Yes, yes, but oh, master analyst and cigar-smoking budget horror of wisdom, what about Bob Woodward? Will this jog your memory?
Sorry, we're dealing with the stunning analysis of Jolly Joe and has everyone knows he has the everywoman touch and any number of US references at his cigar tip ...
Larff? Why the pond larffed itself silly, so carry on Joe with your stunning insights ...
Did Joe just scribble "authentic and fearless voice" about the Donald? Oh that probably comes from Joe's own "authentic and fearless voice", much loved and remembered, and treasured by loons down the ages ...
Please, now give us a simpering summary of your feelings about the little woman, and please, don't spare the caricatures and the stereotypes ...
Sheesh, how did those supporters get into Joe's happy tale of Mary? And what of Bob Woodward? Oh wait, the reptiles disappeared him, and now he doesn't exist, and so the pond doesn't have a clue what this cartoon might mean ...
But ignorance is bliss, and Jolly Joe is full of bliss, even as we come to his last gobbet ... and a rousing rebel cry for the Donald ...
Stunningly, the lizard Oz has the gall to pass this off as an analysis of the US scene. Nothing more might be expected of Joe, who knows which side his lobby bread is buttered, but really, is this the only way to make borrowing Karl Rove from the WSJ look good?
Sometimes the pond is bemused by the lemmings and the bullshit, but when you come across a bullshit artist of Jolly Joe's skill, it's easy to understand why the snake oil salesmen, the con artists and the cigar lovers remain confident that you can keep selling the Brooklyn Bridge to all the suckers and losers who lined up to serve in the military ... and you can keep shilling for the Donald, and you will get your reward in reptile heaven ...
And as for all that talk of losers and suckers and Bob Woodward, don't you worry about a thing, Jolly Joe and the reptiles disappeared it all, and so this cartoon means nothing ...
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDelete“Joe Hockey was Australia’s ambassador to the US for four years.”
And now he has set himself up as a lobbyist in Washington DC.
https://www.smh.com.au/national/hockey-rides-bondi-wave-with-new-washington-consultancy-firm-20200325-p54dw0.html
Still if this piece is any example of Joe’s strategic analysis then I’d be surprised he’ll make much of a living.
DiddyWrote
Never discount wingnut welfare, DW. And by golly, does Joe need welfare.
DeleteGood link DW....and I’m certain Joe is sniffing that gift pack right now after that effusive effort at blowing smoke up the arse of the Mary’s of America, and as you say, it’s a sad effort, but as GB reminds us, we should never underestimate wingnut welfare and Joe has always needed welfare.....and does seem to have the art of finding it.
Deletehttps://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/joe-hockeys-frathouse-in-canberra-makes-1-million-profit-after-passing-in-20160409-go2fad.html
I doubt Joe goes for them 5 cent cigars these days. I suspect the Regis Double Corona is more to his taste these days.
https://www.jetsetmag.com/lifestyle/wine-and-spirits/exclusive-smoke-the-top-5-exclusive-rated-cigars-in-the-world/
CA.
I'll overlook that cigar nonsense CA and just pass this on: some very recent Springsteen:
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQyLEz0qy-g&list=RDAQyLEz0qy-g&start_radio=1&t=235
:)).
DeleteHi. That link failed....presumed this. Cheers.
https://youtu.be/_IXzAAKrsFE
Hmmm. Try this one then:
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQyLEz0qy-g
Letter to You
The Bromancer: "Beijing will not allow Australia to continue to grow rich from its relationship with China unless we conform our strategic and political personality to Beijing's wishes."
ReplyDeleteSo, taking the Bromancer's synecdoche literally, can we say that: "Heaven has disappeared, and the Emperor is on our doorstep" ? That seems to be what the Bro is telling us. But then, like all good stupid, ignorant, brainwashed reptiles he thinks Australia is "growing rich" from our exports to China. So it matters not one whit nor smidgen that this simply isn't true: if we closed down all of our trade with China, including tourism. foreign students, property sales etc we might get a cumulative hit of perhaps 4% of GDP at peak. Sure, that's a significant recession, but then we could probably mostly make it up by not buying so much from America and starting again, as we once did, to make our own. The end of just-in-time globalisation !
Then again, one never expects sense or sensibility from a reptile, does one. And they certainly never give it to us, so why not just let the Bromancer moulder in his hole while we go our own way.
From John Quiggin:"Relax, losing access to China won’t make us the ‘poor white trash of Asia’" https://theconversation.com/relax-losing-access-to-china-wont-make-us-the-poor-white-trash-of-asia-145442
DeleteAgree GB.....there was a time when we did have broad manufacturing but that Hayekian rush of the 80’s for offshore $1/ hour labour was too good to pass up......and here we are. I know there were a few other contributing factors involved, but as you rightly say, just in time globalisation is just gig economy manufacturing.
Delete“So, taking the Bromancer's synecdoche literally, can we say that: "Heaven has disappeared, and the Emperor is on our doorstep" ? That seems to be what the Bro is telling us.”
I’m certain all the reptiles must use sedatives to sleep these days.
https://youtu.be/6eR5D_hEQ4Y
Another first for today. A quite agreeable-with diagnosis :-)
DeleteSo, now on to Nullius Ned: "It [whatever "it" means to Ned] is asking Australians to crawl out from under the doona and emerge from the COVID-19 shadow. It means, over time, operating in a far tougher economic environment that tests personal resilience, demands greater investment, different work practices, a shift in the economic structure, the move to a more digitally oriented economy, new thinking on energy, tax, industrial relations and supply chains."
ReplyDelete"Over time" you reckon, Ned. Over what time, matey ? Maybe by the middle of next year perhaps ? And who's going to drive the doing of all that - SloMo, maybe ? He'll stay PM for the 25 or 30 years achieving a significant amount of that will take, perhaps ? And at the same time fending off all those awful Chinese chaps that the Bromancer is so elegantly warning us about ?
Besides, we all know what a reptile means when he spouts "new thinking on energy"; he means "more coal and gas forever". And we know what a reptile means when he spouts "new thinking on tax"; he means bigger and better tax breaks for the rich, including reducing capital gains tax to $zero.
Yep, truly looking forward to all of that, aren't you ?
Whenever you hear 'resilience' or 'workplace flexibility' you are talking about the erosion of conditions or pay.
DeleteYou see, it is not the government or our corporate leaders who have failed to plan, no, it is all of us precious princesses who aren't tough enough to knuckle down and do what is required.
The same tactic is used for environmental issues. Instead of government and industry fixing their own problems it is up to individuals to change their habits. You are not even allowed to say anything unless you eschew all aspects of modern life derived from fossil fuels.
It's not that the Randian exemplars with their planet sized brains have placed all their bets on stranded assets, no, it's individuals making poor decisions.
https://johnmenadue.com/overcoming-individualisation-is-fundamental-to-social-change/
As a bonus, Joe Hokey gets a Guernsey in this offering. "It is neoliberal individualism which underpinned Joe Hockey’s fatuous division of Australians into ‘lifters’ and ‘leaners’; conveniently explaining both wealth and poverty as merely the product of individual character and effort, or the lack thereof."
I would normally avoid an ad hominem attack on someone for being overweight (I haven't always been above reproach) but I find it passing odd that a guy who could not push his chair back from the table presumed to give advice about application and self discipline.
Well Bef, our Joe couldn't "lift" himself into the Prime Ministership, and he ended up as an overpaid, overseas, over-privileged public servant, so I guess he was just a 'heavy leaner' after all.
DeleteA lot of Wiffle Piffle as you would observe. Consider "not all blame should fall at his feet" or "his authentic and fearless voice".
DeleteYou would have difficulty finding a more extreme case of a failed policy response that can clearly be attributed to a single person. Similarly, it's difficult to find a more transparent phoney of the P T Barnum style.
The message of most of these reptile offerings is that people are stupid and they will celebrate if the idiots end up in charge.
Befuddled - as it happens, I am re-reading 'Cat's Cradle' (Kurt Vonnegut Jnr), and have rediscovered the summation of the rampant capitalist Crosby, of the mythical San Lorenzo, where he proposes to shift his business. After hearing his rant about 'pissant' workers, and 'human relations' and suchlike, the 'hero' asks 'And you think things will be better in San Lorenzo?'
Delete'I know damn well they will be. The people down there are poor enough, and scared enough and ignorant enough to have some common sense.'
I liked the Wikipedia entry: "Common sense isn't actually common, in either sense..."
DeleteHmm. A little later the Wiki opines that: "Instead of relying on "common sense" to make decisions, you should instead rely on building consensus for your position and perception, and work with other people to reach a conclusion most people can accept."
And I'm sure that's exactly the kind of conclusion that most people can accept.