The reptiles stepped up the war on China a notch today, what with a Hong Kong Chinese landlord at the top of the page and the commentary section littered with bold, brave warriors in the battle ...
Only "Killer" Creighton broke ranks to have an anxiety attack about property values, a fine and decent variation, because if only more grannies would die, think of how Sydney's prices would improve … (oh how the pond has taken a battering).
Of course this left the pond with little room to move, or to take up other favourite reptile memes, even as the reptiles put them all in a tidy row…
Shucks, the pond couldn't resist throwing in a New Yorker cartoon to fill in the space, as Dame Slap celebrates a win, Sweden continues to be a model for the reptiles, and Beijing goes on a war footing …
But back to our own war footing, and here our Henry wins by a country mile, as he always does …
Our Henry goes full Godwin's Law, no matter what XKCD might think ...
Go for it Henry ...
Amazing really, it's as if the British, French, Dutch, Spanish, Portuguese … oh heck, any European country with an army and some ships … empires never existed … nor the Soviet empire ... nor the 'soft' economic and cultural imperialism of the United States ... though occasionally it gets 'hard', just ask an Iraqi or someone who endured Pinochet ...and so our Henry must throw out the Third Reich for us to contemplate, because, like SBS and Mark Felton on YouTube, our Henry knows that the Nazis are an object of eternal fascination and a reliable seller ...
Of course the trouble with wandering down Godwin's Law lane is that sooner or later there comes a reckoning, and the whole enterprise might get called into question … but the pond doesn't always expect that to come from the one who broke the rules and threw a wad of cash into the Godwin's swear jar ...
Oh fuck it, he did it, he really did it. If only the pond could do a John Oliver impression and pound the desk.
After all that Godwin's Law breaking guff, did Henry really dare to come out with "Now Xi Jinping is not Hitler, and China is not Nazi Germany. Nor is ours a struggling peasant economy, as Germany's client states were."
For fuck's sake, dear hole in the bucket man, be bold, be brave, don't mumble.
Stand up for yourself, give yourself a good hard shaking.
The war on China can't have this sort of mealy mouthed equivocation. Say it loud, Xi Jinping is worse than Hitler, China with its concentration camps for Uyghur people is just like Nazi Germany, and Australia is a struggling peasant economy, reliant on coal and iron ore, and is more of a client state than any Germany ever had …
There, that's better, that's what we need if we're going to go on an all out war with China, especially if we're going to remember the tedious, difficult past and draw irrelevant hole in the bucket lessons …
And so to the bromancer, and lordy lordy, how the reptiles hate Dan the man …what with the bromancer just being part of a trifecta this day ...
The reptiles have been particularly upset with Andrews ever since simplistic Simon reported on a poll they themselves did back on 28th April 2020 …
Take him down bromancer, take the impudent upstart and lickspittle running dog lackey down …
Say what? Did the bromancer just do a full Henry backflip with reverse pike? You know, a billy goat butt of the beloved reptile kind, dressed up as "having said that", as in:
"Having said that, the Australian government does not publicly disparage the BRI or campaign against it and does not discourage other nations from signing up if they wish to."
Bugger it, are the pond and the Donald the only ones who know how to run the war on China?
Why do our Henry and the bromancer keep on undercutting their message and putting warning labels on what they write, like cartoonists taking precautions …
Please, consult a reptile physician, and in case of economic turbulence, blame it on China ...
Thank the long absent lord that lets the NT off for that Darwin port affair … but you know, once the pond starts running Donald cartoons, it finds it hard to stop …
The bromancer a dangerous quack? Never. It's true he never stops quacking, but he has all the bluster, style and farts of a Major Bloodnok, leaving it to the pond and intrepid Neddie to run the war ...
And so to the final contribution, and the pond really only went with it because the leaking Fawcett scored the cult master's contribution to great western art, worthy enough to be pillaged by Reichsmarschall Hermann Göring and taken by train to his castle (will that pass Henry, surely that will pass, can the pond now toss a gold coin into the jar?) …
The pond knows that experts will spend hours trying to work out what it all means. It's not a bamboo curtain, and there's no sign of a tank, and it looks like the man's peaking beneath the flag, perhaps to get a glimpse of a massage in the city of Foshan in Guangdong province offering a legal happy ending …
The pond's own inclination was to ask just who was this Fawcett, and would someone turn the fawcett off, and then the pond realised that he was an actual politician, someone paid by the taxpayer, scribbling behind a paywall for the financial benefit of the Murdochians …
The pond immediately went in search of the Fawcett's home page, to see if he'd reprinted the column, so that taxpayers might access his uniquely infinite wisdom for free … and discovered that all he offered by way of "News" was a search function … and when the pond tried it, using "China", all it found some blather Ticky Fullerton from 25th March 2019, and a few other antiquated items …
Oh well, never mind, on we go ...
Hmm, this is all sure to go down a treat with the Chinese government … but the pond was still in automatic Donald cartoon mode …
And so to a sure way to fix the trade war and the barley situation and ongoing relations… send in the tanks ...
Indeed, indeed, but do they know how to play the game as well as the Donald and the GOP?
Sorry, it's been a long wait, but the pond is still simmering at the idea that a leaky Fawcett, instead of being identified as a Senator from South Australia, would be identified as a Murdochian "contributor" lurking behind a paywall and swelling the coffers of the Chairman, by denying his taxpayer-funded insights to anyone who refuses to subscribe …
Not to worry, here's the final gobbet, and what do you know, the leafy Fawcett also does a billy goat butt. After handing out all that stick, he offers up a pretty pathetic, grovelling, snivelling carrot ...
But billy goat leaking Fawcett butt, you've just spent most of your time explaining exactly why China won't engage with the world community, in accordance with established global norms, as a constructive partner. Did you even read or understand the meaning of what you wrote? When it comes to putting a flower in the barrel of a Panzerkampfwagen V, you might be better off sticking the flower up your bum … (oh go on Henry, admit defeat).
Luckily the pond can always escape this reptile madness and the war on China with a reliable Rowe, and with more reliable Rowe to hand here, better than a dose of Hydroxychloroquine …
And with that mention of Doré, of course the pond had to run with some more, and a little of Dante, the inferno, and the sense of having been trapped, not just inside the reptile war on China, but in some eternal gradated hell …
And so to late breaking news, at least for the pond. Sorry Henry, sorry Godwin's Law strugglers everywhere, we have a genuine certified topnotch winner, as found here …
How lame of the Laming. Why do a backflip and an apology? There's too much of this going on. If you're a fuckwit, keep on being a proud, unapologetic fuckwit, the pond humbly suggests … and then we'd avoid all the rest of the nonsense from the likes of the bromancer and our Henry ...
"The reptiles stepped up the war on China a notch today ..."
ReplyDeleteIndeed, DP, it has gone way beyond the meme phase and into the 'holy writ' theme stage. And now that those evil, self-interested Chinese have told their power generator plants to buy (dirty, unclean, polluting) local coal instead of (clean, healthy, growth promoting) Australian coal, it can only get worse.
And just to think that those orientals have been secretly reading Mein Kampf all this time.
Anyway, I'm sorry about how this will collapse the economies of all states except Victoria - which doesn't export barley, iron ore or coal, and probably not much meat or dairy now; but what will the Chinese do without Australian powdered milk ? - however, thems the globalised free market breaks. Maybe other states should consider signing up for BRI ? Maybe Australia should sign up for BRI - what would the Chinese do then ?
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DeleteWhy, oh why am I unable to proof read anything (yeah - I know - stupid)
DeleteWhat will the Chinese do without Australian powdered milk ?
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1048567/china-bulk-and-packed-milk-imports-by-leading-exporter/
Oddly, most Han Chinese are lactose intolerant, but it has become a status issue as so many things are. We don't really like it but we would be offended if it wasn't offered. Basically fashion I suppose.
As a side note, I know someone who works in a large agribusiness which sells a certain product at a premium in China because the Chinese consumer values food safety (melamine anyone?) and imports the same product from China because all the Australian consumer cares about is price. It strikes me that this is not the image the average Australian has of themselves.
Couldn't get into that statista site, Bef. They always want you to 'sign in' in some way, and I never do because it disturbs my sense of anonymity. However, I was basing it on the powdered milk shelves in my local Woollies (which is in an area heavily populated by Chinese immigrants) and how those shelves were almost always empty, because as soon as some tins of powdered milk were put on them, they'd be snapped up and sent off to the folks back home n China. To the point that long before the toilet, towels and tissue paper shelves were always empty, the Woollies folk had to put a transaction limit on powdered milk buys.
DeleteHmm. Well of course the Chinese want quality and if course the Aussies want low prices - how else could the world turn properly.
That site let me through when I initially looked but now requires registration - go figure.
DeleteOz was third on the list but well short of NZ. Still a lot of dairy product but not as dominant as most Australians probably think.
China is also ramping up domestic production or sourcing via Belt and Road partners.
You do know, Bef, that human (ie mother's) milk contains lactose and that even lactose intolerant kids aren't strongly affected until about age 3.
DeletePersonally, I'm "lactose intolerant" in the sense of not wanting too much sugar of any kind (pity that I love chips and mashed spuds though).
But then you can join my club: HEON (High End Of Normal). Blood sugar ? heon, cholesterol ? heon, blood pressure ? heon ....
So in a column (I note his title is now ‘Columnist’ - do try to keep up) supposedly about trade wars with China, the Henry sidles off to Godwin land.
ReplyDeleteWhich denies any of the younger generation who might go to his column (Not to invite the Thatcher challenge of ‘Name one’) - seeking enlightenment - the Henry’s potted history of things that were called ‘Wars’, and were about ‘trade’, but involved China and - opium.
Or would it be confusing to readers of any age to be reminded, or shown for the first time, that at the peak of the glorious Briddish Empah, said Empah became one of the most successful dealers in ‘hard’ drugs, ever?
And pretty much wrote the rule book that guides those who have taken up the business of more recent time, particularly south of the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave. Essentially, make sure you have bigger and better guns. The Chinese do understand the term ‘gunboat diplomacy’.
OK, in best traditions of ‘free enterprise’ USA, the Sackler family has been giving them swarthy southerners some competition, without having to compete with Patriots at the local gun shop, but that had parallels with the how the Chinese tried to respond during the Opium Wars.
As a side issue, younger readers of the Henry might have been given a couple of paragraphs on how Hong Kong came to be that little bit of China administered by the Briddish. All part of how we ‘should, for once, remember the past.’
Other Anonymous
Britain as the world's first narco-state. I wonder how this all fits in with the "wonders of Western civilisation" narrative?
DeleteIt wasn't only the Brit. Empah of course, Bef - we all remember 55 Days At Peking, of course - but yes, Britain as the world superpower of the day was the main one.
DeleteMy poor old brain is trying to remember the bit with Thatcher and "Name one", but with no luck and google hasn't been any help. But I think it was one of those "there is no society" type putdowns, wasn't it ?
DeleteAnd of course the Chinese understand 'gunship diplomacy' though I'm not altogether sure how many guns Admiral Zheng He's fleet commanded back in the early 1400s, but the Chinese had had gunpowder and rockets and musket-like things for a while by then. Besides, his ships are credited with being nearly as long as the mythical Ark (Noah's that is, not the one of the Covenant).
But then us good guys are all freedom loving democracies, so whatever we do must be ok. Even if that does involve Purdue's fine quality opioids.
GB - I trust I did not blight your lucubrations with that passing nod to Baroness Thatcher. There was the time when journalists would try to get criticism of the lady into a question by starting it with 'People are saying that you . . .' Her response was 'Name one . . ' and invite the next question. Actually done with a touch more class, and to better effect, than the Donald manages for his press gatherings.
DeleteOther Anonymous
Ah yes, that brings it all back. Thanks OA.
DeleteFancy the Bro calling someone half-witted. It's a bit like Cater calling you stupid or Abbott suggesting your behaviour is a bit unpredictable.
ReplyDeleteI can understand the Bro's shock at a major power "behaving completely unreasonably" When have we seen the powerful behaving as they please?
It can be a bit tough being a Chinese citizen, particularly from a minority group, but then again, it can be very tough being a foreign citizen if you cross American oil interests. Apparently, 160 overseas military actions since the end of the cold war.
The real issue here has nothing to do with ethics. Sheridan couldn't give a shit, for instance, how Trump or the US acts, his real gripe is just how effectively China exercises power without the need to drop bombs.
Of course, Morrison's clueless bumbling has also to be portrayed as somehow standing up for our interests. A smarter politician might think, what have I to gain and what might have to lose?
The Chinese? I saw a quote today “kill the chicken to scare the monkey”. Where do we fit in the parable?
Oh somewhere between the fleas and the mosquitoes, I'd reckon Bef.
DeleteBut otherwise, yes, it's a prime example of the "when we do it it's holy, when you do it, it's devilish" syndrome which sustains a sense of godliness in the likes of the Bromancer.
But talking about proof-reading, I think I'm getting worse by the day - might have to register with Google just so I can do a 'delete and start over' thing too.