Sunday, May 17, 2020

In which the pond indulges in a bait and switch, before heading off on the promised "Ned" marathon ...


Perhaps the pond should apologise, but dammit, anyone who knows anything about cliffhangers will also know about the bait and switch …

Sure, the pond promised the cult master and nattering "Ned", but as everyone knows the Phantom always escaped at the ends of the one reelers …

So if the pond wants to briefly escape "Ned's" meandering marathon, and instead wants to dance with prattling Polonius, who is finally catching up with our Henry on Pellist matters, what of it?

The great thing about this is its right and fitting for a Sunday meditation, recalling the many times the pond celebrated the deeds and thoughts of the frock-lover …

 

But you won't find any of that grandeur in the photo which leads off Polonius's prattle … why apple pie wouldn't melt in this sweet old man's mouth … so gentle and kindly and loving is he … such a winsome, forgiving smile ...


Now all this has been hashed and rehashed a dozen times, and it's a measure of Polonius's bravery that he should only venture out now, timid mouse that he is, to have a go at it all …


Indeed, indeed, Pell did his duty, and Polonius and the pond won't hear a word against the man …


Oh brave noble duty doer, and now it's time for Polonius to do a classic Trumpian distraction, by explaining how it was the fault of everyone else, except the noble Pell, even when doing his duty by Ridsdale ...


Does it occur to Polonius that to save Pell he must trash the church? 

Is the only way to save the village to destroy it?

And yet for all those protestations of lack of power, and blessed ignorance, and it being everyone else's fault, and the Catholic church being full of vindictive, useless, disgraceful folk, the Pellists still knew their duty …


And so to the final defensive gobbet ...


The pond stresses that these are Polonial opinions, and really useless ones, clogging up the servers that store data on the intertubes and creating an enormous demand for electricity …and the pond regrets that, by indulging Polonius, it has participated in this global crisis ...

And so to the ongoing war with China ….

It should be noted that the pond did have an alternative lined up and ready to go …


But Dame Slap's latest rant about class actions is just more IPA propaganda and the pond is tired of it … especially when she tries to pretend class actions are an ALP lawyer conspiracy down under, when in fact class actions are as American as her donning a MAGA cap …

No, if you want some legal fun, try the episode in Trial by Media featuring Richard Scrushy which is truly an awesome carny snake oil salesman offering ...


For those who don't get Netflix, or refuse to torrent, or prefer to read, that quintessential Alabama story, with pancakes flipped two sides, can be found here

And now to keep faith with those who expected nattering "Ned" and the cult master, and the ongoing reptile war with China, though we might have to endure a little more pancake flipping …


Now for those who are new to the pond, it should be noted that "Ned's" natter is an interminable bore, a marathon read designed to send Xi to sleep …

That cult master sighting is about as good as it gets … the rest will be pure hell …


What's worse, the pond has a cartoon crisis, a Trump-like PPE shortage, so it's going to be even tougher ...


The pond should also warn stray readers that nattering "Ned" is something of a Chicken Little and a hand wringer, and not the sort of bold, brave dog botherer the country needs when it comes to sending the gun boats north ...


You see, just when the reptiles need to speak sharply and carry a big stick, "Ned" goes and ruins it all by talking of a sea of uncertainty and a government devoid of any strategic game plan …

Why all these saucy doubts and fears, this talk of a sense of uncertainty and risks with multiple dimensions?

What we need is firm action, led by the reptiles, as if channeling old days, old ways …



Alas and alack, the quivering, quavering old reptile keeps on with anxious talk of global anarchy … when surely the right way to fix the pandemic is to embark on a trade war with China, and who knows, after that, maybe the real thing and a revival of the Brisbane line ...


Say what? Suddenly SloMo is a Malware follower? A Malware true believer? And SloMo has more leeway, and before you know it, he'll be banning the shipping of iron ore and coal to teach the dragon a lesson, and help climate science?

The pond doesn't know how much more it can take without a cartoon, like one of those drink bottles they use in the Tour de France …


Now there's a bonus, the pond gets to reference the Wyeth too and provide a link to MoMA ...


It's easy to do a virtual tour, and much better than being stuck with "Ned" droning on for two more gobbets ...


Did quisling "Ned" just run up the reptile white flag? What's this talk of calm, and patience, and working through issues case-by-case?

Dammit, there's a war on and we don't want "Ned" to develop a bad case of the bone spurs ...


Megaphone diplomacy?

Surely "Ned" meant to talk of megaphone tabloid Murdochian journalism, bunging on a do as a way of distracting from the way that the United States is going down in flames … thanks to them and their love of the Donald …

Never mind, like all serials, when it's over, some are inclined to feel a tad disappointed and cheated - in a single leap and a bound, we won the war on China - but the pond never promises readers of "Ned" a rose garden - only a marathon struggle to the bitter end.

And now for those who made it, a bonus extra, the sort you used to get when DVDs were still a thing …

Come on down lizard Oz editorialist, and do a commentary track about the war on China ...


That's more like it. That's a splendid use of language … the humbled dragon, lone wolves, ham-fisted, lackeys, wilful moves, distrust, uncertainty and unreliability and a losing ploy, all the fault of those dumb commie swine, what with their gauche goading and bullying …

Oh yes, what firm, calm dignity we've shown in the face of this derision and hostility. How wrong it was of quisling "Ned" to run up the white flag, when he could have talked of the Middle Kingdom as an authoritarian, repressive, militaristic, territorially ambitious and brazenly interfering alien power …

Why, the pond knew at once that tomorrow we would shut down iron ore and coal supplies to teach these rascal, lickspittle, running dog lackeys that power comes out of the barrel of a tariff war ...


Gosh darn it, foiled again. Just when the pond thought the reptiles were on the brink of firing a shot or three across the dragon's bow, even the useless reptile editorialist gets to blathering about the need to have a constructive relationship with the problematic rising power …

But by golly, the kool aid they serve in Surry Hills is still potent … and the pond has every hope that the war on China will continue unabated, provided it stays a phoney confetti reptile pamphlet war of the kind conducted during 1939 and 1940  … 

And what better way to end this campaign than to have the immortal Rowe showing our plucky crew boldly sailing forth, with more immortal Rowe here ...


By golly, those naval mines in the water look a bit tricky to navigate for the good bullship, but things are going so well in the USA, the pond is certain everything will be alright …


Say what? Even right wing cartoonist Ramirez has lost his nerve?

Stay calm, reptiles, fight on … we can still send the iron ore and coal by ship, there's no need to fly … just as there's no need to get Dame Slap and Gina too agitated about iron ore and coal and such like ... better to leave them to fight the good fight against wicked class actions, emanating from the United States like a legal virus ...

11 comments:

  1. Quite a little paean by Polonius the Ring-Kisser. Especially this bit: [Pell] "has been effectively damned by the royal commission for (allegedly) protecting pedophilia in the face of McClelland's 1991 warning that a person should be convicted only after due process in a relevant court."

    And that after Polonius went to such lengths to explain to us that a Royal Commission doesn't "convict" it only makes "findings". And it doesn't make "judgements" either which apparently can only be made by courts. So clearly, it wasn't either a conviction or a judgement that Polonius has made - he not being a court of law - and neither was it a finding - he not being a Royal Commission.

    So what is it then ? Merely, as you stated DP, "these are Polonial opinions, and really useless ones". Which is really just par for the Polonial course.

    So on to Nullius Ned who solemnly informs us, re the coronavirus inquiry dispute, "That was poking China in the eye. Every sign is the government's internal deliberations were not as thorough as such an initiative warranted."

    Oh no, no, ScottyfromMarketing leapt in where angels fear to tread ! But then, there are no angels in ScorryfromHorizon's life so he would scarcely have noticed their absence here.

    But then Neddy introduces us to Peter Varghese (who ?) who will introduce us to some long forgotten DFAT wisdom: "We can neither turn our backs on China, nor can we pursue a stand-up-for-our-values campaign agaist China." Yep, that's the pointless double-speak we expect from DFAT.

    Anyway, Peter ends up with: "China must understand there are consequences flowing from its behaviour."

    Oh, I'm sure it does, Xi, and China see that as a consequence of their actions they get whatever they want. Just ask who has all the military power in the South China Sea, and who is using a 'silk road' to draw in lots of satellite suzerainties. And even Peter emerges from his daydreams long enough to realise that: "Australia cannot impose those consequences on its own but they can be imposed through collective power."

    Oh right, Trump will send in his 100% American made F35s to enforce those "consequences". And then we will send in our ultra-powerful submarine fleet, once it finally shows up, to reinforce them.

    Just another day with Reptiles and Friends wallowing in their collective illusions and delusions. Say lavvy.

    Then, as a fitting finale, The Editorialist (re)introduces us to Paul Monk, onetime liberal thinking person, now just another reptile hanger-on. How's Austhink going these days ? Anyway, Paul would like to tell us that "we need now, quietly and efficiently, to deepen our "strategic competence", seek to diversify our trade and better understand China."

    And also that: "We must play for time, strategic position and the rebalancing of the global liberal order."

    Oh yeah, just a doddle for the hyper-competent SloMo and his "team". Who mentioned illusions and delusions ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surely an old school pedant like Polonius knows that a word can have a slightly different, or even totally different, meaning in different contexts. The Pond or one of the readers offered this recently

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polysemy

      In the case of most reptile offerings Polysemy should not be confused with lying (e.g. Dog Bother "expensive renewables")

      I would suggest that we are all entitled to make "judgements" regarding the Cardinal and the church and Polonius can stuff this pseudolegal waffle up the belltower.

      Delete
    2. So it all comes down to "making judgements" versus "having opinions".

      Is there a nice word - opposite to the polysemy sort of thing - that means "two different phrases that mean the same thing" ?

      Delete
  2. DP - thank you for the historic cartoons you have bestowed on us, of recent time, to keep all the supposed unprecedented challenges to civilisation in perspective. Today's combination of Covid/Christina's world is just beyond words, so I trust humble thanks are acceptable.

    Other Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you are safe in assuming the war on China will continue. Much work will be required to revise some ill-considered blundering at the behest of Trump into some sort of strategic plan.

    https://theconversation.com/australia-has-dug-itself-into-a-hole-in-its-relationship-with-china-its-time-to-find-a-way-out-138525

    "After a phone call with US President Donald Trump on April 22, during which the two leaders discussed China’s responsibility for the contagion, Morrison took it upon himself to push forward with an Australian coordinating role for an independent international inquiry into the origins of the pandemic."

    "Morrison needs to pay less attention to a China-obsessed national security establishment and give more credence to advisers who actually know something about China"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I read that Conversation article in your link, Bef, and I encountered this:

      "The pressing question remains: how does Australia deal with a regional behemoth that seeks to bend a global rules-based order in its favour?

      This is the reality we have to live with
      ."

      It sure is, so the totally unanswered question remains: how do we "live with" it ? I really don't think that SloMo "writing personally to China’s President Xi Jinping" would actually accomplish anything, do you ?

      Delete
    2. No, a big hard slap would still be coming our way.

      When this first blew up I went looking at some of the ex-diplomat types who pop up on blogs like John Menadue's. The consensus was that this is just what it looks like -clumsy, poorly considered, with serious consequences for trade and no likely benefits for Australia.

      Apart from the sinophobes in the party I cannot see why anyone would want to go about it this way.

      Delete
    3. As a one time colleague of mine used to say, quite often: "Have you ruled out stupidity ?"

      I did hear on the teev, in passing, something to the effect that China has only really dominated our export markets for about the last decade. So, what did we do before then ? I guess we didn't have all those lovely money spending Chinese tourists and Chinese students back then.

      But who did we sell coal to ? Thermal and metallurgic (coking) both. And iron ore too - how much does America and Europe dig out of the ground these days ? Besides, because of Sanjeev Gupta we are developing the coal-less steel smelting process (hydrogen, yet again !) so who will need coking coal anyway.

      Delete
    4. We are in the middle of a technology change that is much more than a carbon abatement scheme. All the ducks are lining up for technologies that will totally disrupt the oil (and coal) economy. There's a good chance we will be rooted anyway, but it's going to happen anyway for economic reasons.

      I guess we are just arguing over how rooted we will be due to this delaying action.

      If you worked in IT you will know how technological change starts off almost imperceptibly and looks like it will take forever and then you are just scrambling to keep up. How many of those big metallic tapes would fit into the latest iPhone? What's a TFLOP? - my mind is swimming!

      Delete
    5. And is Moore's Law finally on its deathbed ? Probably not.

      Delete
    6. Oh and talking about technology change and carbon abatement, consider this:

      2020 looks like the year US renewables first out-produce coal
      https://arstechnica.com/science/2020/05/2020-looks-like-the-year-us-renewables-first-out-produce-coal/

      Delete

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