In which the pond refuses to socially distance from Moorice, the Major and deep-fried Oreo ...

At last the reptiles have realised, have come to their senses … what we need on a Monday is pure, distilled essence of Orwellian Moorice loonacy …

Forget the war on China … it started out very solid in a Monkish way on the weekend, and then began to turn very dark …

  

Taiwan gone? The US defeated? Oh well, we've always got the Brisbane line, or should that be the Surry Hills line?

Apologies, that's just the pond doing a reptile distraction. 

Let us not worry about the war on China, let us embark on our grim Orwellian future, thanks to the bold, brave Moorice, last seen standing in Pitt street mall without a face mask, cheerfully shaking the hands of stray passers by, hugging them and helping them start up the economy with a kiss on the cheek …

Meanwhile, the United States shows exactly how it should have been done. A culling of the herd, a singling out of the weak, a sacrificing of everything on the altar of the Donald's ego. Oh it's a fine example, and nothing Orwellian about it, nothing at all … it being the state's job to do as Adolf Hitler and Moorice have proposed …

In his book Mein Kampf (1924), Hitler wrote that one day racial hygiene and the culling of the herd and following Moorice’s prescriptions "will appear as a deed greater than the most victorious wars of our present bourgeois era".

Sorry, that's not quite how it appeared in the wiki, but there's something in Moorice that brings out the pond's goose-stepping German blut and a willingness to break Godwin's Law ...

Ah, did anyone notice? After that bold, brave "go figure indeed", bold brave Moorice retreated from the mall and the handshaking and the glad-handing, and came out with a billy goat "butt", though dressed in the form of a "that said." Why he even admitted there was an actual pandemic, that posed a serious threat to human health, and even proposed personal hygiene, social distancing and testing.

This isn't the spirit of a genuine paranoid conspiracy theorist shocked at Orwellian policies run wild. 

Why, the very suggestion of imposing hygiene, social distancing and testing on the populace is rampant Orwelliand behaviour in the extreme …

Surely only true freedom comes with the right to infect anyone nearby …

Come on Moorice, don't be a sook, remember freedom trumps safety, community and filthy pinko commie preverts … let us welcome more deaths, let us celebrate the harvesting of useless souls ...

Lost in all the noise is how easy it has been for those with despotic tendencies to take away our freedoms?

What, like the despotic Bolsonaro? Hasn't that turned out well …

Luckily the immortal Rowe had a cartoon to hand to celebrate the Moorice line … with more dark notions here …

And so to the Major, and for a moment there, the reptiles had the pond going, with something even worse than Moorice's Orwellian nightmare … former chairman Rudd as a shock jock …

Luckily the pond knew this was a beat up, and the pond should stick with the Major.

But before getting stuck into it with the Major, the pond should just mention that last week's effort by the Major featured in the Graudian's Weekly Beast …

Anyone wanting that ABC tweet can find it here, but there are many other delights at the Beast here, including talk of Media Watch's brain snap about the parrot, Penbo producing a half-baked apology, and shameless Sharri on the world stage, which curiously allows a segue into the Major's latest outing …

The dog botherer did the better job? Why it's as if the Major's determined to show that Moorice hasn't cornered the market in reptile loonacy …

Cue the Weekly Beast … and a dose of Shameless Sharri …

Of course all this wandering around the point, and clarifying and such like shouldn't obscure the reality that Shameless Sharri did a shameless beat-up, and ever since then the reptiles have been dancing on hot coals in support of her … and the Major and the shameless one have been two soul-mate peas in the Murdochian pod for such a long time now ...

By golly, Moorice would love that conspiracy theory. Just imagine the steps the cunning and devious Chinese would have taken to infect a human, then harvest it, then bring it into the lab, and then let it out of the lab. 

Some might think it simpler just to let the virus run wild and free, but not when you're a paranoid Major … because as everyone knows, for an Order of Lenin medal to escape from view and defy being discovered doesn't mean it wasn't created and worn by a commie lover, and somewhere out there, somehow, someday, the Major will reveal the findings of his hunt … much like the Donald will bring definitive proof that Obama was born in Kenya and raised a Muslim ...

Hmm, did the Major just quote The Lancet? Well there's Why President Trump is wrong about WHO, and then there was this ripper that concluded …

The Trump administration's further erosion of the CDC will harm global cooperation in science and public health, as it is trying to do by defunding WHO. A strong CDC is needed to respond to public health threats, both domestic and international, and to help prevent the next inevitable pandemic. Americans must put a president in the White House come January, 2021, who will understand that public health should not be guided by partisan politics.

Now that's worthy of a Major conspiracy theory, and a column to boot, but don't hold your breath …

And so to the recovering, reformed feminist …

Frankly the pond wouldn't have bothered with the Oreo this day, except that belatedly it discovered that deep fried Oreos were actually a thing ...

This is old news to the Oreo aware, because the phenomenon has been around since 2002, as its wiki reveals here, but having a death wish, the pond suddenly developed an insatiable desire to sample some deep-fried Oreo from the recovering reformed feminist, even if it turned out to be Moorice lite...

And that's why the pond is pleased to report that Sky and the reptiles have abandoned all safety precautions as an example to others, and are frolicking and gambolling around Surry Hills in wild, carefree abandon. 

Still, it's a shame that the Oreo didn't go the full Orwellian. It proves she's just a shadow up against the mighty Moorice, or perhaps just a soggy mix of pancake batter and heart-attack inducing biscuit ...

Still, there's an angle. Why the pond understands - or at least lives in hope - that the recovering feminist is herself thinking of opening a deep-fried Oreo stand in her local market, and encouraging customers by taking absolutely no social distancing precautions,  certainly not the wet ones proposed by the useless "that said" Moorice, because businesses need examples to follow …

Is there an irony in all this? 

Well if you head off to the recovering feminist's short bio, you might spend most of your time wondering what the Oreo actually does. How does she contribute to the economy in any meaningful way? Is a weekly column the best she's got? 

Well you could hardly count cited works, and references to posh, lah di dah universities. 

What about doing a little cash in the paw work as a plumber to help get things kick started? How about a job in the construction game, because all around Newtown, the pond sees tradies busy at work? Has she thought of doing a little time with the inner west garbos?

Nope, it seems that the Oreo's main deep fried contribution is to celebrate US Republicans, who have contributed mightily to vastly disproportionate deaths in the US (compared to other countries) and a devastated economy.

Blaming public servants is just part of the blame game, though the pond suspects the recovering feminist would love a job as an academic … instead of wasting her time chatting to loons of the John Anderson kind…

Resenting public servants while yearning to be one, and bashing the ABC while some occasionally do a bolt or a flit over to the public broadcaster is all part of the mental health suffering that makes up a reptile.

It also explains why all three reptile loons this day did their best to find someone to shame and blame.

It's all a part of a proud reptile tradition …