In which the pond's self-pity continues with a ride on the Canavan caravan ...

The pond's maudlin sense of self-pity continued today, and perhaps even got worse …

There's a real world out there, and yet for some inexplicable kind of self-loathing, the pond decided long ago to self-isolate with the lizards of Oz …

While the Royal Commission continued with electrifying, scarifying testimony, what did the reptiles offer up? 

And along with those exercises in tedium, the pond didn't score a sighting of the cult master. He might have been there, like the Yeti, the Big Foot, the Yowie or the Bunyip, but the pond couldn't find him ...

No wonder the rag is hurting, with even the cult master in hiding, but as the theme for the day is climate science, who better to wheel in than the climate denialist from the deep north?

Why bother featuring the cavernous Canavan? 

Did the pond mention self-loathing, only matched perhaps by a deep and abiding loathing for the Canavan caravan … also a reptile "contributor", rather than a taxpayer-funded senator who should surely want to avoid being cabin'd, cribb'd and confined by the Chairman's paywall, and would rather speak directly to his voters about his deeply held climate science denialism ...

Oh fuck, that coal pun is as limp a dick joke as any to turn up in the pond ...

And as the climate science saying goes, start with a reference to the bible to establish your scientific credentials. 

After that, proving Jesus was friendly with dinosaurs is easy meat. 

As for the rest, the pond can't hide the sense of tedium and ennui, which no doubt contributes to that sense of self-pity, because the pond has been here before so many times with the dinkum clean Oz coal lovers, oi, oi, oi … though perhaps it's made more poignant by the real world out there beyond the lizard Oz, the Royal Commission, and all that stuff, that Shakespearian rag proving May is the cruellest month … and that the Canavan caravan the silliest way to ride …

Yes, let's just face the hard facts … let's look at the overall picture …

Well if the reptiles can do that sort of childish wordplay …and now to get back to the rest of the planet-fucking with the candyman Canavan:

Well there's someone who hasn't been paying attention to the Royal Commission, but then why would he, wrapped as he and the reptiles are in their own little cocoon of denialism …

So was there any attempt at conscious humour this day by the reptiles, as opposed to Canavan's attempt to render the pond unconscious, and thereby leave the picking on him and the picking apart of him to stray readers?

As it happens, there was, and it was a splendid turn by simplistic Simon and nattering "Ned"

 

So Bob Hawke's in the tent, but Labor is out of the tent …

For a nanosecond the pond thought of doing a Burroughs cut and paste, but couldn't manage to get past the first two scintillating gobbets …

First there was the usual solemn, portentous "Ned" …

And then came simplistic Simon to assure the pond that "Ned's" natter about Bob was a nonsense …

Some might think that the pond has caught the reptiles out in some kind of ideological dispute, but relax, the entire point is that each reptile worships their SloMo God in slightly different ways, with different rituals, but at the end of it all, they can still join in unison and chant, four legs SloMo great, two legs Labor bad …(and oh how cunning he'll be when he screws the workers, like lambs to the slaughter).

The pond decided not to go further, simply because the Rowe of the day settled the matter, with more settling Rowe here …

Drop the bat Scotty! So the God of humour lived, and suddenly the pond could smile again ...

But that left the pond short of another genuine comedy item, of a scribbled rather than a cartoon kind. 

Perhaps another bout of the war with China? Perhaps the lizard Oz editorialist, with its flailing, failing business model harumphing about industrial peace and growth and the economy going faster (than a snail or a turtle), or a dose of Walter Russell Mead? Or deluded Gra Gra proposing "the fallout from the Whitlam government's abject failure to handle the national till is being felt to this day."

Actually the fallout from Gold Coast hookers and Swiss bank accounts is still being felt to this day, but as laugh out loud as it might be, the pond simply can't stand being in the company of the doddering old fart …

Luckily a small item that turned up late yesterday, yet another import from the WSJ (as if a Meadian brew wasn't enough), gave the pond a chuckle and a chance to run a few Donald cartoons … Donald mania being everywhere …

 

The pond spotted the piece almost immediately it landed at the top of the reptile digital page, and knew even more immediately it would be full of reflexive irony of the richest kind … appearing as it did in a rag where the Bushfire Royal Commission had been more effectively disappeared than a leftist by an Argentinian dictator …

A country that's severely flawed? No, no, no, it's the funniest country in the world …

But stay, the pond shouldn't grow light-hearted even before it gets there yet …

Oh heck, even before we get started, there's the Donald. Where's the harm in a few more cartoons?

  

But there's always a price to pay for cartoon fun, and that was the pond sauntering along with Sauter ...

At last, some genuine comedy, best of all scribbled and published in the lizard Oz (what Bushfire Royal Commission, who, what, where, squirrel, have a lump of Canavan pure dinkum coal), which just happens to be owned by the Chairman who runs Fox News, the most rabid news organisation in the United States and a shining example to Pravda …

Oh joyous heart pumping away with pleasure at a surfeit of irony and hypocrisy, be still for another cartoon or two …

 

Sadly the last gobbet of comedy was short, but still as rich in irony as a tablespoon of Popeye's spinach ...

The United States will reunite? 

Why that's a delusion deeper than the Grand Canyon, the United States is broken, deeply, badly broken, and Australia can be proud that it was the Dirty Digger export who played a significant part in the breaking …

We don't just do coal exports to fuck the planet you know, we do exports that can fuck the United States … but at least we can share the cartoons, as we join together and unite in a taste for comedy …