The pond was keen to set the right reptile tone before settling down to read the latest missive from the IPA, aka Gina's mob, aka Dame Slap from planet Janet … and sure enough, Dame Slap had discovered a deep and abiding concern for the youff of the day, though amazingly, their pre-virus days on New Start never seemed to be of any concern ...
Before the pond had even got started, the Dame's opening line immediately sent the pond off in search of a cartoon …
Too soon for a cartoon? Too soon for Mike Pence? Well it all depends on your IPA taste … some might say it's always too soon for a sweet-smelling whiff of Dame Slap ..
Oh it's a classic Dame Slap, that's what it is, the IPA with its strong focus on young people and its deep care about the fate of casuals and no doubt the impact of the gig economy and the suffering of the poor.
Those with time on their hands could waste it by trawling through Dame Slap's ancient history to find references to indolent and useless youff, but please, be fair, the good Dame has always had a soft spot for stimulating young 'uns …
Sheesh, that tweet is a tad hard to find these days, but the pond can't imagine why. Look at Dame Slap, in young company, hip and swinging … but now back to the official organ of the IPA, the lizard Oz, busy offering a platform for its chair ...
The dignity of work?
It's clear that the IPA and Dame Slap have never done a day's manual labour in their life, nor are they ever likely to, it being the business of those with legal training to develop a burdensome set of bone spurs … before ordering others out to celebrate the dignity of work …
Dame Slap does her best to keep her tongue in cheek, but then she has to give the game away, by explaining the best way to employ the young is by setting up the circumstances whereby they might be ripped off … as if we haven't already moved well down that path, with certain sectors stripped of all rights and entitlements …
The pond sees them every day in Newtown, out and about, scraping for a living, sick pay and super a mere dream in the distance …
But now it's back for a last gobbet of IPA propaganda from the reptiles at the lizard Oz, mouthpiece for the comfortably rich ...
What, still no mention in the visible section of the potted bio that she's an IPA flunkey, and that there might be a little conflict of interest in being a propagandist and a columnist?
It leaves the pond with only one response.
Oh just fuck off with that blather that suggests that the IPA is a pro-youth gathering in love with jobs and entrepreneurship … we know what you really mean, being a lickspittle lackey spokesperson for Gina's mob …
Besides, the pond has a bigger mission, and that's to bore the bejaysus out of anyone unaware of "Ned's" notorious capacity to drive anyone mental enough to head out into the fields to do some strawberry-picking, with or without Dame Slap for company …
First an ironic juxtaposition ...
But what about "Ned's" long and extensive record of politically partisan columns, which would be controversial if they didn't lull people to sleep?
See how at the top of the page there's a hagiographic snap of the fearless leader, to whom all reptiles and "Ned" owe allegiance ...
The pond makes no apologies. It's got to be done, and it's no worse than doing a little thistle-chipping up in the back paddock with Dame Slap, or perhaps being anaesthetised upon a table, as a fog settles around the mind ...
Phew, it's come to a pretty pass when "Ned" must defend Scotty from marketing against the populist right, which is to say the likes of Dame Slap and the dog botherer … and even hint that the Donald might be out of his tree …when really he's just a playful puppy ...
Okay, the pond freely admits it went the cartoon early, when there are many gobbets to go, and words like leaves to be trodden black, so dark the pond always doubts if it will ever come back ...
It has to be said that "Ned" is good at hagiography, and like most, he manages to forget the early days …
That was in the Daily Snail, a paper the pond usually refuses to visit, on 13th March, which seems like an eternity ago, and when the only advisories out there were not to shake hands and be cautious with kissing …
It seems like aeons ago, and SloMo andy his mob were only prompted into more urgent action by the steps taken by a couple of the bigger states …
But never mind, the fog is enveloping the pond as "Ned" natters on … with grave remarks about the astonishing decision-making process of great minds ...
Moral? Never give a Kiwi an even break, because of the funny way they say fush and chups … and let's ignore the way that the lizard Oz pack of IPA flunkies, doing a Fox News down under, have been howling for restrictions to be limited …
Let's instead slip in a suggestion that it was the ABC, and that dreadful Norman Swan, that stopped SloMo heading off to watch the Sharkies ...
The core lesson cannot be avoided. Once in the "Ned" vortex, there is no way out … it is simply necessary to plough on, with not even a cartoon to help … because d'oh, if the world's economy is in trouble, then who the fuck gives a stuff about running out and stocking up on goods from Ikea?
It's not like you can't buy a jigsaw puzzle for half the price of trying to put together an Ikea bookshelf …and have the same endless hours of amusement, or perhaps a domestic ...
Only three pillars of self-congratulation?
The pond always thought it was seven …
… but the good news is that this is the seventh and last gobbet of "Ned", and enough is more than enough ...
And so is history rewritten by the reptiles …
Please pardon the pond if it does a flashback to the 15th March, and the wretched ABC …
This is why the Prime Minister's insistence on Friday afternoon that he would still go to the footy the next day, as he announced he was advising against such gatherings from Monday, was such a strange look. Technically, he was acting in line with the chief medical officer's advice and there's no doubt he doesn't want to stir up too much unnecessary panic. But it appears to have misread the public mood.
Not because he considers himself to be at risk, but because some media outlets might "misinterpret" his appearance.
People are deeply worried, particularly the elderly. They are scrambling for basic information as well as toilet paper and canned goods. Is it now safe to go to the movies, to the gym, to aqua-therapy? What are the symptoms to really worry about? And how will millions of casuals pay the rent when there's no work? Newstart payments won't be enough for many.
All of these groups are likely to feel that the public information campaign, which starts this weekend, is well overdue.
Thank the long absent lord for the public health officials, the state premiers, the ABC and the mutton Dutton copping a dose, for bringing the realities a little closer to home for Scotty from marketing … and no thanks to the Murdochians.
Oh so long ago, and now on with the dog botherer, though only for gluttons for punishment … because naturally the dog botherer hasn't read a word of what "Ned" scribbled, and he's keen to do a Dame Slap and get everybody out there ...
No, the dog botherer isn't offering to get out in the field and doing it himself. He's volunteering teachers … in the Donald way …
Oh yes, it's the teachers … while the reptiles themselves stay safely bunkered down with their social distancing measures ...
Indeed, indeed … we shouldn't be afraid of a deadly threat. The dog botherer is our guide …
Of course by the same logic, the media rooms of Sky News, and News Corp generally, should return to usual work practices, with just a little more washing of the hands and a little social distancing (no masks, remember Mike Pence please), and perhaps putting "Ned" in a special room for old farts …
Why not have the dog botherer show the way? Why not liberate the Murdochians? Why don't they shame the teachers with their selfless leadership?
Donald Trump has done better? But we all know the reason for that. It was the sound medical cures he offered the citizenry …
Well, there's more TT here, and the pond thanks the dog botherer for the opportunity to celebrate the infinite wisdom of the Donald, but now we're winding down the reptile virus coverage for the day...
Oh it's a tragedy when the dog botherer starts to quote himself.
Shouldn't he be off with SloMo at the footy? Or perhaps he should take in a dose of satire …
And so to a final word ...
Lordy, lordy, is it still not clear?
Getting the editorial offices of the Murdochians back to usual work practices would be by far the best start of all.
Who knows how many of the old farts who run around inside might still manage to catch a dose? Not that the pond wishes them ill, just the amount of ill that they've routinely wished on and offered to, others …thanks to their many efforts around the world, including, but not limited to, Fox News ...
And that's the reptile virus news done for the day. Thank the long absent lord the pond can turn to prattling Polonius for a Sunday meditation …
Meanwhile, on another planet …
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDelete“The Greens have never understood, and Labor has ignored what it surely knows, that getting a foot on the first rung of the workforce, no matter how low paid it is, is the critical step to a life-time of better paid, more fulfilling jobs.”
It certainly helps to get on that first rung when your mother is holding the ladder;
https://www.crikey.com.au/2018/11/23/news-corp-aristocracy/
DiddyWrote
I was wondering, DW, especially about the offsprung of Planet Janet. She and ex-hubby O'Sullivan have three (Caitlin, Sascha and Jamie) so thus far only 33%. Of course, maybe Caitlin and Jamie have followed daddy not mummy, but I haven't tried to chase that up.
DeleteOne I think we can be sure of though, is that the Doggy Bov's son won't be following him anywhere.
Hi GB,
DeleteA Caitlin O’Sullivan wrote a piece about her gap year for the Spectator Australia back in 2014 (as it is behind the paywall I won’t bother linking).
An unlikely subject to place before the fossils that read The Speccie one would have thought.
Was another of Janet’s spawn fancying a career as a reptile?
DW
Dunno about Jamie, her son. Google doesn't seem to find much on him, so I don't even know how old he is. But no mention of the herpetarium in connection with him that I've ever seen.
DeletePlanet is likely going to propose every child has the right to work. Funny how all the IPA's new ideas seem like very old ideas.
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-irkxy9zhUY
Oh dear, Dame Slap is just getting worse and worse by the day. I could sorta understand it if she was writing for Catallaxy, but surely even the usual Australian audience wants a bit better than that. Then again, as H L Mencken is popularly supposed to have pronounced: "Nobody ever lost money underestimating the taste of the American people." Or the "intelligence" of the American people either. Or of the Australian people either.
ReplyDeletehttps://quoteinvestigator.com/2020/03/01/underestimate/
But let us consider that she did say, right up front as the very first sentence where almost everybody will actually scan it before descending into torpidity: "Despite the sweet sounding idea that we are all in this together, the consequences of the COVID-19 crisis are not being shared anywhere equally."
Now isn't that incredible: every single 'crisis', other than COVID-19, has been shared scrupulously equally by everyone, hasn't it. So just one small point, where she says: "Unless Morrison takes centre stage daily, on jobs and productivity to rebuild the country and pay down debt to protect the next generation."
Say what ? Am I imaging that only yesterday the shrill cry was about 'imposing huge debt on the next (at least two) generations' ? And that's suddenly become that if ScottyfromHorizon merely maunders around bloviating about Jobson Grofe on a daily basis, all will be well ? Is this the officially approved IPA line ?
But oh, Nullius Neddy, what a sadness you have become. As you say, DP: "The core lesson cannot be avoided. Once in the "Ned" vortex, there is no way out …" Just gobbet after gobbet of nothing piled on nothing. But sadly this won't pass until Neddy does. He did give the Sweden cheersquad a well deserved serve though.
And also, after comparing the UK and USA's handling of "the crisis" unfavourably to Australia's: "Any notion we should have followed Trump is ludicrous." Well, apart from asking the obvious question "who said we should have followed Trump" - just some over-zealous reptiles maybe - I've gotta admit he got that one right. That's a score of one out of how many ?
Last, and always least, the Doggy Bov. Talking about "COVID-19 rarely affects children", he goes on to pronounce that: "This serendipitous reality means schooling need not be disrupted beyond handwashing and distancing measures, special arrangements for vulnerable or older teachers, and efforts to limit interactions between parents, teachers and other adults."
Piece of cake, really and all of that is well and truly in place - and rigorously inspected so that it's known to be ok - and there are no problems with how the kids will get to school - none of them will take public transport, for instance, and thus risk getting or giving SARS-CoV-2 - so all is copacetic for a big return to school on Monday.
Except, maybe, that in common with viruses in general, and other coronaviruses in particular, SARS-CoV-2 is susceptible to mutation which could well be into a more virulent form that seriously does infect the young.
Ooops, maybe it already has:
https://www.malaymail.com/news/malaysia/2020/04/29/health-d-g-very-contagious-mutation-of-coronavirus-detected-here/1861449
How about this, then: "...lately doctors have been sounding the alarm about a disturbing new outcome: blood clots and strokes, which are striking even healthy young people with no known risk factors — and sometimes no other symptom of the virus."
DeleteOoops. Guess which virus.
Selamat tinggal.
Frustrating reading the Dogger. At different times he claims to have detailed knowledge of things that are still being argued by experts, at other times he claims there is disagreement about things that are widely accepted by the same experts.
ReplyDeleteHe suffers from the common belief among conservatives that if they don't understand something, then no one else can understand it, or it cannot be understood at all. His only role is to spread confusion.
Consider "If we tried to generate a list of people with the requisite experience in managing the medical, public health, economic, business, social, and law enforcement aspects of a coronavirus pandemic, we would come up with no one."
Putting aside the fact that there are some people that could cover all those things fairly well, politicians and opinion writers not among them, that simply isn't the way things work. Complex responses require input from specialists as well as someone able to draw those threads together.
Contrary to what DB suggests there are plenty of lessons to be learned from other countries. Greece has about the same infection rate per million as Australia without the benefits of isolation or a well funded health system.
https://theconversation.com/greece-despite-a-decade-of-health-cuts-coronavirus-death-rates-appear-comparatively-low-136293
The health panel leads the effort with the support of the government
"A clear link between evidence and policy is made and any fake news or misinformation that has been spread in the previous 24 hours is tackled on the spot."
No role for News Corp in that case.
The problem with the likes of the Doggy Bov is that they tend to think in terms of singleton 'supremos' running everything, because that's how the world works, isn't it ? You know, a Trump, a Johnson, a Putin, a Morrison.
DeleteWhereas, in fact, the most successful human efforts come from 'democratic teams' which, although they have an overall leader - primus inter pares style - the team contains members with varying and different strengths. So, depending on the circumstances, the team member with greatest expertise in that aspect temporarily takes the leader role.
Strangely enough, I think ScottyfromMarketing has been running a bit that way with the health guys (Brendan Murphy and Paul Kelly), his ministers (Hunt and Frydenerg mainly) and the state premiers via his 'cabinet') and it seems to be mostly working.
I am probably a bit uncharitable to ScottyfromHorizon but I am reminded of the quote often attributed to Churchill "Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing…after they have exhausted all other possibilities."
DeleteYep, our Scotty is quite a bit like that, but at least he's not like Abbott who keeps on doing "all other possibilities" because he simply cannot recognise, or in any way accept, "the right thing".
DeletePoor Andrew Probyn. On Insiders this morning, he rated ScottyfromMarketing's performance during Covid-19 as 'stellar'. Admittedly it was in comparing with his bushfire response, on the scale of which you might rate it as 'certainly much better' but Probyn fell for the hyperbole again.
DeleteWhy can't journalists be more realistic in their assessments?
PS Adam Eichman-Ceighton is trying to answer the question of whether he just drew the short straw or is simply that dumb (the latter)
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/Adam_Creighton/status/1255740262850064385
Seems that an uppity woman has upset the snowflakes and, to add insult to injury, earns as much as Dame Groan.
Befuddled - thank you for that link, which served the important function of reminding me why I should continue to have minimal acquaintance with 'T..tter'. Life is too short. Except for the - I think it is called a 'feed'? - maintained by Tony Windsor.
DeleteI think you were most charitable even in offering the suggestion that the Adumbrate Creighton drew the short straw.
Other Anonymous
"What, still no mention in the visible section of the potted bio that she's an IPA flunkey, and that there might be a little conflict of interest in being a propagandist and a columnist?"
ReplyDeleteBrilliant.. :) :) :)
I'm not a robot