The pond started watching Netflix's Trial by Media the other night, and landed in such a meta level of reflexive media wanking that it even surpassed alleged environmentalist George Clooney flogging useless polluting capsules for a company caught up in a child labour scandal …
You see, there was much talk of Warners making the original trash TV show that caused the fuss and inspired the murder, and then making even more money by recycling the trial on Court TV, but then the documentary itself used extensive footage from the Court TV coverage.
The pond would have loved to have sat in on the negotiations for the use of that footage, but strangely Netflix didn't tell us how much they were paying the new owners for the footage. It was all a bit like Clooney sipping on capsule coffee, while displaying his environmental credentials …
But why start there to get to the here of the ongoing reptile war on China?
To be honest, there are days when the reptiles don't just offer fear, loathing and nausea … sometimes there's a goodly mix of tedium, boredom and déjà vu, which is why the pond decided to put China down the page, and turn first to the savvy Savva …
What a relief. She could be knocked over in a couple of gobbets, and she'd been blessed by the cult master, and his evocation of a banana republic somehow made fond memories of ancient reading burble up to the front of the pond brain …(or even worse, watching …)
Yes, the pond is aware that it will offend the serious sci fi buffs out there … Howard Keel! But really, look how the creature immediately targets a comely blonde. The cult master must surely be marked down for failing to put a blonde in the arms of the hideous, walking, talking, stalking, killing Banana Man …
Strange, the pond feels a little delirious and light-headed. On with the savvy Savva ...
Oh that's cruel. Comparing the banana man to a banana republic, and finding he was a bit like the green ones they pack into the supermarkets these days (how the pond yearns for the bananas to be found on Samoa, so banana-ish that Josh himself might stalk the land as a delicious deficit flavour). But the savvy Savva didn't stop there ...
Sleep-inducing? Tentative? Smug? Failure? Lingering hesitation?
Now if the pond happened to read that report card, D- for hesitation, the pond would have hesitated to hand it over to the parents …
But of course there's no hesitation in the delusional gung ho world of the rest of the reptiles, with the bromancer leading the charge …
Stop right there.
Friends with China? That's about as delusional as the Donald saying he's friends with Xi, or the Donald saying he's friends with Kim Jong Un or friends with Vlad the impaler …
You have to have a peculiar definition of friendship to go there. But the bromancer was friends, nay in a deep bromance with the onion muncher, so perhaps there's an explanation somewhere in that Freudian mess ...
The pond must interrupt the bromancer's list to point out how bizarre things have become, what with the reptiles enlisting the unions in the war with China, and putting this at the top of the digital page and the tree killer edition …
The enemy of my enemy is somehow enlisted in the cause? But back to the bromancer list ...
What a pity that they didn't spend some time shoring up their position by diplomacy before taunting the dragon. What a pity the support has been late in coming, and the Chinese have fixated on SloMo, who must be hoping that speaking in tongues will deliver the rapture some time soon ...
As usual, the pond had to go elsewhere to discover the real mischief makers …
James Paterson, a Liberal senator from Victoria, accused Australian higher education institutions of being too dependent on the Chinese student market, while the NSW senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells has called for Australia to “decouple” from China economically and seek compensation from Beijing for the impacts of Covid-19.
A fellow China hawk, Andrew Hastie, is collecting signatures on a petition for Australia to safeguard its sovereignty against “authoritarian regimes like the Chinese Communist party”. (Graudian here).
It's the member for the Philippines and other hard right loons who want to bung on a trade war in the middle of a pandemic? As for the subject matter, it's like reading the past month of stories in the lizard Oz about the war with China.
And the pond sometimes mocks the US for having the Donald at the head of trade policies?
Who to blame? Well, we don't have the Canadians or the Mexicans, but bugger it, we have the hapless now towing Kiwis ...
Oh dear, does the war with China mean we must have our very own 'dear leader' rhetoric?
Meanwhile, the headlines provide a ringing endorsement of the bromancer's supine love for SloMo, which bids fair to be a much more passionate dance than anything the onion muncher experienced …
And so to simplistic Simon peddling exactly the same line, because the reptiles always travel in packs …
Stop right there. Morrison is playing a long game?
It's the middle of a world pandemic, and somehow SloMo has taken on Australian exceptionalism with Chinese characteristics, because as everyone knows, whenever anyone talks about the Chinese, the word is always the long game …
Simplistic Simon apparently thinks that talk of the "long game" (a one iron for the Donald?) and using words like "fiercely" will see the dragon head to the corner ...
Harden the view? Simplistic Simon knows what farmers are thinking? A random scan of the headlines beats any reptile polling …
Listen simplistic Simon, the pond has never viewed the Chinese government favourably.
The pond has never been deluded into thinking that Xi wants to be a friend, or even a kindly uncle, or eldest brother … it's a transactional relationship of the Donald kind, and right at the moment, the transactions are heading south ...
How desperate has it got? Well, apparently the reptiles think that the 'both siderism' of the New York Times means it's a leftist rag, as if its dalliance with the CIA and its love of the Iraq war (where is Judith Miller these days?) makes it leftie …
But it's a sign of desperate reptile times, that they must trawl amongst the unions and the New York Times for support, while the member for the Philippines, the pastie Hastie and others go about the business of adding some ginger and chili to the stir fry ...
What the fuck does that last sentence mean?
How about "SloMo and the reptiles should be reminded that where there are the greatest rewards - bathing in glory from a grateful world in reality too fucked over by the pandemic to give a toss - there are also the greatest risks, such as reptile delusional thinking about embarking on a trade war for dubious results" - because the Chinese aren't going to make life easy for an international inquiry if and when it ever gets going. They haven't even shut down the wet markets ..
When are the reptiles going to demand that we stop shipping iron ore and coal to China, as a way of helping the planet and bringing the Chinese to their senses? Oh it's just a pond joke, though the impending trade war is no joke for others ...
And where did all this begin? Well locally we can turn to the tabloid lies and nonsense of the Murdochian kind, peddled by the fraudulent Sharri offering conspiracy theories without any evidence …
Just imagine a similar headline in China. SloMo's Batty Science. SloMo BatMan …maybe with a nice illustration naming names …
The reptiles have been at the heart of all this, and about all the farmers of Australia are going to get as a reward is pain in the middle of a pandemic, while the likes of simplistic Simon spout meaningless jingoistic bulldust …
Even the supposedly sober lizard Oz editorialist succumbed to reptile delusions …
Actually Xi is doing exactly what that carnival barker and snake oil salesman the Donald is doing, as he seeks electoral salvation by blaming China …unless he can find someone else to blame …
Sorry, the pond is so bored by the war with China … and pathetic rhetorical flourishes down there with the phoney war that began the real war way back when ...
What exactly does the glib "we should be wary, realistic and seize our destiny" mean? How can we use "this horrible crisis to strengthen our foundations and assert our values"?
By dumping meat and ploughing in the barley crop?
It's easy for the reptiles, locked in their bunkers to scribble this shit, while following the US line, not that the US line is remotely consistent from day to day …
That was long after the Chinese had stopped fudging (more here), and around the time on January 30th that WHO declared the outbreak a public health emergency of international concern, and long before the Donald, looking for an out, began peddling China conspiracy theories …
Is this the most elaborate ruse yet that the reptiles have devised to distract from the disaster known as the Donald? And if a few farmers must pay the price, what care the reptiles in their Surry Hills bunker?
But there's no getting around the cause of the disaster in the United States. Other countries managed the crisis well … but the reptiles have to dance around all that, so they can maintain the rage with China …along with the member for the Philippines ...
It's left to the immortal Rowe to point out the bleeding obvious, with more Rowe here …
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteHow sad to see the reptiles at war with China, especially when a decade ago Rupert dreamed of a beautiful relationship;
https://www.bbc.com/news/business-14214309
But things soured;
https://theconversation.com/china-proves-immune-to-murdoch-style-regime-change-21744
Yet even five years ago there was still hope;
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/sep/19/china-is-open-to-the-worlds-media-xi-jinping-tells-rupert-murdoch
Happier times;
“Murdoch told the Chinese president the Wall Street Journal and other branches of News Corp will fully cover the US visit, according to Xinhua.
He assured Xi News Corp will “work to foster mutual understanding and boost cooperation between the two nations”.”
DiddyWrote
What a treasure trove of memories DW
DeleteAh yes, Roopie and Xi have so much in common that they're bound to be incompatible. One half of every lasting relationship has to be suitably submissive - like the Howard's LNP to Alana Jones.
DeleteAs an Aussie in London during the 1980s (before the ois but not the sentiment), I was confused to live through the crippling recession the Brits had to have. People lost homes, industries went under, even senior execs lost bonuses. All this under Thatcher, her economic miracle nowhere to be seen. The nightly news with Nicholas Witchell told us that Reagan’s America, even with all that loot from Iran, had another we-had-to-have recession. One might almost have believed something global was afoot. That is, until I visited Australia and discovered that it was a uniquely Aussie event, brought about by Keating and his profligate Labor mates. All was explained, by the Libs and their media toadies. I’ve marvelled ever since at the extent of The Lizard of Oz’s influence. His recession was truly world class, unlike the puny effort of that forgotten treasurer Howard.
ReplyDelete)³ Please, too much reality check and the pond passes out ...
Delete" the pond is aware that it will offend the serious sci fi buffs out there "
ReplyDeleteFortunately I haven't been one of them for about 50 years, DP, but truly it was ever thus. Take piece of British light but entertaining reading and just see the sex (of which there was none) and the violence (of which there was barely any) and make it into an unter-hollywood nickel-and-dime orgy.
And so to Savvy Sav: "It should have been liberating. Yet they [SloMo and Josho] appeared tentative, even a little smug."
They were both "tentative" and "smug". I reckon Savvy just has no idea how ignorant and incompetent "they" are. "Bushfires and COVID wiped away the smugness ..." she said. Not a bit of it, it would take a lot more than that to even make a small dent in ScottyfromHorizon's "smugness".
"friends with Vlad the impaler". You know what the name Vladimir translates as, yes ? Either 'Prince of peace' or 'Ruler of the world' ... or both. Just thought I'd throw that one in.
But talking about "long games" as "a one iron for the Donald?", DP, do you think the Donald would be able to actually hit a one iron (aka 'butter knife') at all ?
Anyway, sayeth simple Simon: "Scott Morrison is playing a long-game strategy with China ..." And just how "long" is that, then ? One month ? Two Months ? Maybe a whole three months ? Wau, that, for SloMo would be really "long".
And so: "...he [SloMo] has captured the attention of global leaders who are now looking on as China reacts to Australia..." and laughing quietly to themselves about how Australia is copping the Chinese "long-game" in response. And not losing anything in the meantime. Isn't it really good of us to cop all the penalties ?
Ad now a word from our sponsoring Editorialist: "This means that government must reduce the cost to business of regulation, energy and tax so it can compete ..."
Because, you see, Australian business can't compete now: nobody in the whole wide world is buying our exports because none of them can "compete". It was entertaining for a while watching the reptiles and wingnuts playing out their 1984 roles: if a lie isn't going to become a full on member of the reptile catechism (we "can't compete") then it rapidly disappears down the memory hole until, short on inspiration, a reptile re-invents it as though it has never been said before (China's "economic coercion").
And we haven't heard a single word from Gina in all of this; I wonder why not.
Dare the pond suggest that in matters of iron ore and coal, things might go far too far?
Deletehttps://www.afr.com/chanticleer/why-china-s-too-smart-to-hurt-aussie-iron-ore-20200514-p54t1d
Interesting. The AFR article only mentions BHP, Rio Tinto and Fortescue. Now granted that for a long time, Gina's money came through Rio Tinto, but she has now owns 70% of the profitable, and growing, Roy Hill.
DeleteBut granted, given Vale's near vale, replacing Australian ore might truly be just a tad difficult for the time being. But coal is indeed a different matter. Let us sincerely hope that our neoliberal government "insults" the Chinese sufficiently for them to buy their coal elsewhere.
A bit late GB. From the Global Times, so I assume this is a bit like the LNP saying things via The Australian.
Deletehttps://www.globaltimes.cn/content/1188408.shtml
A number of specific threats and this regarding iron ore "the chance of such a scenario taking place is zero and if China wants to seriously tap iron ore deposits in Africa, there would be a gap of four to five years that would be very difficult. But Li said that "once such a transition is completed, Australia's place as an iron ore supplier to China will be lost forever."
America's "attack dog" ? No, more like ScottyfromMarketing just rushed in where angels fear to tread. Frankly, I don't think SloMo understands anything.
DeleteSo, Australia might have to go back to riding on the sheep's back ? Well, I think it might take a little longer than the Chinese have estimated to get all its iron ore, and maybe coal ?, from Africa on a dependable, reliable basis.
But it could up its purchase rate for a few years, build up a big stockpile and then just cut us off cold. So perhaps we should join Trump in working to take the manufacturing stages away from China, and leave it with nothing to sell, and nobody to buy from it. [hahaha]
Then again, maybe China is just so big it can exist, and even thrive, in isolation from the world. It'll still be able to steal all the intellectual capital it needs so long as that is still available via online sources.
Because I do kind of wonder what "international" trade would look like if the human race did ever coalesce into a single 'global' state and a single pan-human economy.
Hi DP. Given the Savva’s headline the CM has certainly missed a golden opportunity. Further to your astute Triffid suggestion he could have shown Coughin’ Josh expectorating tiny viral bananas all over Albanese - thereby infecting the future Labor government with a corona banana republic. But that might be expecting too much from our increasingly indolent illustrator.
ReplyDeleteInstead the cult master has opted for a depiction of Frydenberg as a semi-peeled banana. It is quite bizarre but also entirely predictable as a straight Lobbeckian reading of the headline. It’s simply Josh’s noggin grafted onto half a Cavendish but we get the picture (sort of) - and the more I look at it the more disturbing it gets.
The CM’s own comment on Twitter re this illustration is “coughing up a banana republic” but as it’s so hard to cartoonily convey the concept of banana republic without resorting to the medal-chested moustachioed generals in shades trope, he just opted for the banana bit. I’d say he spent forty minutes on it…tops.
Incidentally, googling for images of “banana republic cartoons” certainly does come up Trumps.
Yes, indeed, the master is on the downhill slide, and the fall from grace continues today ...
Delete