Sunday, May 03, 2020

In which the pond kowtows to prattling Polonius and does some home schooling with the Angelic one ,,,


The reptiles seem to have lost their enthusiasm for the war on China. 

Oh sure there's the occasional outburst, diligently reported, as with Artie's kind suggestion we join with the US, though the pond couldn't help but think of the recent immortal Rowe's offering on the subject, with more to be found here


What the pond needed was oracular advice, and being a meditative Sunday, was there any better way to get it than to turn to prattling Polonius, the man who put Delphic into oracle …

 

What the fuck?

It was like one of those eerie stereoscope images of yore, with the pond thinking it was starting to see Polonius double, and in need of a machine to get the reptiles back into focus …

Luckily, the first one was an advertisement for that bizarre place where Polonius imagines he's a dog, and ruts about, trying to fuck the ABC … 

Strange that he never worries about 'commercial' media, which of course isn't free either. 

Consumers pay for it by way of a tariff known as "commercials", broadcast incessantly, with the bill added on to the weekly shop or on to the the cost of any other product wanting to air its tremendous virtues on the telly or the radio,  though luckily enthusiasm for tree killer advertising seems to be falling as fast as the chance of movie theatres making it through the pandemic unscathed…

But the pond never goes where the anal retentive Polonius attempts sarcasm, usually as subtle and as uplifting as the form practised by the Donald.

Happily in his usual column, our man who did his best to ruin Hamlet, turned his attention to the war with China …


The pond was immediately made suspicious by the defensive air. 

After all, both the Chinese and the American governments have been behaving in an egregious fashion, with the Chinese doing their usual restrictions on freedom of thought, and the Americans using the spooks to drum up allegations about the source of the virus …

  


(Graudian here, the other story everywhere American propaganda is pedalled )  

Could Polonius and his prattle get us out of this bind, and explain how we can simultaneously conduct a war on China and maintain enthusiastic trade? 

Relax, of course he can, he's a genius … guided by his very own pragmatic guru from the past, because naturally there must be a history lesson, and a smiting of all those wretches who fail to appreciate Polonius's Buddha-like comprehension of the world ...


Ah the pragmatic little Johnny. Here no war on China, no Chinese war here …

As for Marise, the most boring minister in the land?

Even though The Insiders had spurned him, still Polonius stayed loyal and watched, while the pond could sense its last brain cells vanishing at light warp speed, and the only thing that was coming to mind was a cartoon by the infallible Pope …


And so to Polonius's reconciliation of the two countries, aided and abetted by Polonius's history lesson, though as he gets to speak about Mao worship, it's strange he doesn't mention Donald worship …

I just wish him well … I hope he's fine … I just hope he's doing fine. I've had a very good relationship with Kim Jong-Un. And I'd like to see him do well …

Because who wouldn't want to wish a brutal dictator well, especially when expert in gulags, re-education camps, prison camps, a regime famous for starvation diets and in the '90s a famine that killed hundreds of thousands ...


Indeed, indeed, who would you trust? We must keep on with the trade, and make a nonsense of all that idle righteous talk of human rights and the mis-steps of Gough and the head prefect …

How silly the reptiles were to embark on the war with China, how right and just to be pragmatic, and do a Gough and a head prefect, and overlook the cult of personality, the individual tracking of citizens, the forced re-education camps for the Uyghurs - where's the harm in a little cultural genocide? - and workers treated as factory fodder, to be devoured and then spat out ...


And then, as always, because he's a reliable prattler, our Polonius comes up with a doozy ...


Australia does not have to trust or distrust China

Indeed, indeed, in other times, the pragmatic one might have scribbled (since he can speak for the nation all by himself) 'Australia does not have to trust or distrust Mao'. Or perhaps 'Australia does not have to trust or distrust Kim Jong-Un '…or perhaps even earlier, 'Australia does not have to trust or distrust Herr Hitler'. 

What does trust matter for a Catholic with a theological understanding that betrayal is everything?

But enough of Godwin's Law … the pond's swear jar is exceptionally healthy already, and perhaps instead a challenge should be mounted to that other line "Nor has it kowtowed in recent memory.

It turns out that our Polonius has the memory span of a gnat, and so heading back to October 26, 2018 is way outside his recent memory …


Yes, the bottom line is to pretend that there are no demands being made, no attempts to produce a kowtowing, nothing to see here, no attempt to hide the source of the virus, no attempt to block an independent study.

Just follow the Polonial line, just keep shipping all that dinkum clean Oz coal and iron ore to China, for benefit of a cult of personality, and the important sponsors of the Sydney Institute. How wise, how astute is our Polonius, how worthy of a pond kowtow …

And so to a dreadful dilemma …

You see as a makeweight for the Sunday meditation, the pond could have spent time with our Gracie, freaking out about unions, because merely being in the presence of a union is worse than catching a deadly virus ….


And the pond could have spent quality time, with the Angelic one, urging on readers to join with Nimbin lovers and religious fundamentalists to accept the joys of home schooling …


But look at this…who scored the cult master for the day?


It's outrageous, almost yabba dabba do obscene … the pond never does the oscillating fan, and an oscillating fan on a Sunday? What earthly good is that?

What a terrible dilemma for the pond. The reptile overlords had spoken and the oscillating fan was 'it' for the day. What could the pond do, but join in and play the game?


Read nattering "Ned"? Could the pond just pluck out its eyes? 

Must we put up with this oscillating fan nattering negativity simply because the fan scored the cult master? 

Must we hear even more of little Johnny, as if Polonius hasn't already made us as full as a Johnny goog?


Well no, those dreadful all-powerful, hideous unions are hiding under the bed, and waiting to pop out to frighten our Gracie (though she does seem easy to frighten, given that the unions under the bed are more Sendak than Texas Chain Saw Massacre …) … and so it's going to be tough going for Scotty from marketing ...


Could it be that stupid people toss around the word "reform" as if any policy change or initiative somehow must be termed a "reform", when in reality it might be just the butcher's thumb on the scale, a regressive step backwards, making sure that the rich get what's due to them, and the poor get their fir share, which is to say, the enduring right to keep on subsidising the rich …

Never mind, the pond realises that straying down the path with the oscillating fan might have left fans of the Angelic one at a loose end,  yearning for her words of wisdom, so much more precious than the oscillating fan.

So here are her last two gobbets, and in the first she makes a strong pitch for home schooling...

Ah yes, the philosophical foundation of education …


And with most excellent results too, what with children learning much about creationism and the dangers of vaccination …


Indeed, indeed, more here, and much more in many other places, but on to the final gobbet, with the pond almost ready to join the Angelic one in singing along with Pink Floyd

 

Yet it has to be said that the final message from the Angelic one sounds a tad confused. Perhaps too much home schooling?


The pond will leave it to others to work out what the Angelic one was trying to say …the pond confesses it didn't have a clue.

But this shouldn't be seen as the pond taking to the inadequacies of home schooling with a stick.

The pond understands, and has thoughtfully and kindly - no thanks please, it's just a community and educational service of the kind the pond regularly undertakes - decided to provide a few texts for home schoolers, anxious to broaden their children's awareness of the past, and science …






You're welcome … and enjoy your home schooling … and remember, no thanks please, the pond is big on education on a meditative Sunday ...


13 comments:

  1. Wow! I had no idea they had lemonade back in the days of Adam and Eve, back what, 6000 years or so? That so called comprehensive school in the UK i went to never mentioned this! I did have a biology teacher who was also a christian and who invited me to join his extra-curricular class that taught the contrary view to evolution. I declined as they were all a bit...odd.

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    1. That would have been straight "creationism" back then, I reckon Anony. They hadn't thought of 'intelligent design' yet.

      But I am delighted that St George's "dragon" was actually a dinosaur of some exotic kind. It means that the whole sauropod clade made it onto the Ark. I wonder what happened to the brontosauruses.

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    2. I guess home schoolers naven't heard of the famous 19th century American atheist and orator Robert Ingersoll (“during the Golden Age of Free Thought”). You get an idea of what he was like from his quotes

      “Give me the storm and tempest of thought and action, rather than the dead calm of ignorance and faith! Banish me from Eden when you will; but first let me eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge!”

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    3. I was about to fall into your trap and offer Apatosaurus as a substitute, but it appears I am not up to date

      https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-brontosaurus-is-back1/

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    4. Joe, I always understood that it was actually "the tree of knowledge of good and evil". The point being that because Adam and Eve were completely "innocent" they could not sin because they did not know how to. But once they knew about both good and evil, they could, and did, sin.

      Heh, Bef, gotta keep your eye on the game. But now they need to explain how both Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus fitted onto the Ark, and what they ate to stay alive over 40 days. Unless they just survived on radiant goodness. But then I wonder if Adam and family slaughtered any animals to eat during that time.

      Looks like I might need some home schooling to get answers to those questions.

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    5. GB, Befuddled, Joe and A - one of the creationist groups have an impressive stand, in premium spot, at the local agricultural shows. They certainly are well funded, and the print quality of their offerings is of high standard. I would jot down some of your questions, but my policy has been to watch, listen, but never engage any of the presenters in discourse. Particularly a bright-eyed little lady who seems capable of being able to talk under wet cement, and whose victims, being too polite to wander off when she is in mid-sentence, miss the better part of the ring events. Their stand attracts kids because it has great plastic models of dinosaurs, at prices kids can afford, and each purchase comes with her revelations that, far from being long gone, all the dinosaurs can still be found in the jungles of Africa and South America. Those sneaky paleontologists, like their climate change associates, just suppress that information, because, somehow, it is in their interests to do so.

      Not having kids with, or near, us anywhere near the susceptible age group, I have not had to sit through evening meals where child starts sentence with 'Dad, there was a lady at the show who says that dinosaurs are still around. Is that right?' And knowing that saying 'Yes - now they are called chooks' will not settle the discussion.

      Anyway - your nearest district agricultural show probably has a creationist stand - with people inviting questions from the madding crowd.


      Other Anonymous

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    6. But they are also eagles, hawks and vultures, OA, which is just a wee bit more exiting.

      However, from back in my long gone days of membership in the Australian Skeptics, I have had ample opportunity to offer questions to creationists (and even seen, on teev anyway, a performance of the Gish Gallop). But the lady you describe does seem to be an exception - possibly a member of that alternative species homo stultus stultus.

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  2. One has to wonder whether the reptiles have read any European history, given their reflexive hatred of trade unions. Sure, the goings on in Poland might not be top of everyone’s reading list, but a certain Lech Walesa made quite an impact not only on Poland but on the entire Soviet empire. A trade unionist leading the fight against Soviet communism, you say? Better not to mention it.

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    1. Yeah, and now Walesa may have to rise again to free Poland from an oppressive bunch of Catholic religious gangsters and their running dog lackeys. So it goes.

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    2. As for that time in European/Australian history that DP has alluded to with 'Australia does not have to trust or distrust Herr Hitler' - no doubt Polonius has his own reconstruction of the stellar work of then Attorney-General Menzies, attempting to keep Egon Kisch out of our glorious home, Girt By. After all, it is pretty much the cottage industry of the Polonius family to write about Menzies' early triumphs in the federal house. Including his extensive fact-finding excursion to Herr Hitler's land in 1938. Oh, the good old days, huh?

      Other Anonymous

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    3. Talking of pontificating, prattling Polonius, I daresay you're familiar with this gem, OA:

      Letter revealed Menzies' view of Hitler
      https://www.abc.net.au/am/stories/s279548.htm

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    4. Thank you GB - I had lost track of it - have now copied to an appropriate file.

      Other Anonymous

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  3. Well, outstanding perspicacity by Polonius when he says: 'Howard said that Australia should take a pragmatic approach in its relationship with China." Not quite on a par with wanting to negotiate with Hitler (Howard will never have the stature of Menzies) but pretty good, just the same.

    But then, pray tell, just what other approach could we take ? We could declare war, maybe ? Oh, I know: we could invite a whole bunch of Chinese students to our universities and then re-educate them to reject communism ! No, on second thoughts that won't work, China rejected communism years ago.

    Moving right along to the Shanana, she opines that: "Probably the most pressing issue facing harassed parents during the coronavirus lockdown is how to handle the children who are normally at school while trying to do their own work online."

    Really ? That's "the most pressing issue" ? Not trying to find a job to replace the one you've just been "stood down from" in order to keep your and your family's body and soul together and pay the mortgage while working your way through layers of bureaucracy to try to get hold of some Jobseeker or Jobkeeper ? Or trying to hold on to your valued employees so you still have something to hope you can start back up again once lockdown ends.

    One thing I am curious about though: do those schools offering online learning actually keep track of which kids log in and which don't so that you can be prosecuted for your kids' truancy ?

    But at least we have some wisdom imparted to the world by PVO: "Reform is hard and it is contested. It always has been."

    And if you are a reptile or wingnut, it is relentlessly contested for all time ... or at least until they can claim that it was all their idea in the first place.

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