Thursday, May 28, 2020

In which the pond starts with the savvy Savva and ends with reptile crickets ...


It had to be as close to a lay-down misère the reptiles had ever offered on a lazy Thursday - the savvy Savva, the cult master, and SloMo as a beefy boofhead cross-dressing tranny Goldilocks supping at the parritch …

But after that, things started to go down hill …


And that last par brought back to the pond the sense of doom it first felt when the reptiles first mentioned SloMo's grand new plan, along with all the talk of Bob …

The pond is constantly reminded of Bob because he decorates the wall of the local pub, and everyone in the comrade game stops by to get a selfie …


And immediately SloMo announced his new vision, the pundits began to argue whether it was Hawke 2.0 or not…



Curiously the ABC, Nine, and the like were determined SloMo's plans were nothing like Hawke, while the likes of the Bolter, nattering "Ned" and sundry other reptiles saw signs of Hawke, for good or ill, while even the logarithms slipped in a reminder that Scottie from marketing had been big at the Hawke memorial …

By the end of it all, the pond had not the foggiest clue what SloMo was proposing - nor did SloMo, it seems - and the biggest question was whether he was Hawke reincarnate, or just a naughty boy …


There you go, as clear as mud, and the savvy Savva still clearly has little time for SloMo in drag… or out … and she too doesn't seem to have any idea of what Scottie from marketing is flogging ...


After all that, still no answer to the fundamental question - is SloMo Bob Hawke, or just a naughty boy?As for a new era in industrial relations, please wake the pond when it begins … or more likely, when it's over before it ever begins …

And so to a reptile supplement, because you always need a little zinc with the hydroxychloroquine … or maybe you don't …


The pond could have gone with the reptiles' war on comrade Dan, dressed up as a war on China …


The bromancer was in fine form, until he produced a flurry of floozies assuring his readers that comrade Dan was an impotent wretch …



Okay, Victoria is a third world country … every NS Welcher knows that … but why all the fuss, if nothing is going to happen of a third world kind? 

It can't work both ways …is it devious Comrade Dan a common or garden slut doing the wily Chinese bidding, or is it wretched impotent Dan incapable of doing anything, even if allowed into the Chinese harem, because SloMo will have the shears and the tar to hand?

Immediately that deep sense of ennui the reptiles have been producing of late swept over the pond, and it looked elsewhere for distraction.

Things have been going splendidly in the UK …


… but the US is the gold standard, and this little WSJ agonised snippet caught the pond's eye …


Of late the lizard Oz might just as well be thought of the lizard Oz as the WSJ in drag, and always asking all the wrong questions, when surely the obvious one was "What if America had followed the Donald?"

Sadly the immortal Rowe provided an immediate answer, with more answers here


And that required a reference to the homage ...


So the pond was much delayed in getting around to considering "What if America had followed the Donald?"



Certainly not. No way Sweden. Keep your Volvo personvagnar…

If the figures are any guide, the United States should have followed the Donald, and become a world leader, only threatened in its status by Boris and Bolsonaro … (though the latter might end up getting taken down by fake news before he can truly match it with the Donald)…



Is the pond so transparent? As transparent as the Donald thought Xi was? 

Of course the WSJ snippet was just an excuse to run a few cartoons, and celebrate the ongoing American delusion that it did well handling the pandemic, though that delusion is only available on Fox News, Fox and Friends, in the White House, and in other Murdochian institutions like the WSJ, standing shoulder to shoulder with Alex Jones ...


Thanks to the WSJ, that sort of American flag waving has been turning up more and more in the lizard Oz … when the pond much prefers other American images of unity … and strong standing together ...



The pond watches enough US television to see the amazing crowds huddled together in all sorts of locations, in a desperate desire to die, and meanwhile, the WSJ seems to think it's living in a land run by skilled strategists ...


Um …


And while we're at a fractured response, the lizard Oz editorialist is still conducting a war on recalcitrant states …


The pond sometime feels like the odd person, the exception to the rule, while out and about, retaining a quaint desire to keep wearing a mask, as if it's the polite thing to do, especially when coming close to people who can't avoid also being close (as in a medical procedure), but this little blurb reminds the pond how selective the reptile wars can be …

Nota bene "to a lesser extent South Australia and Tasmania."

Why that phrasing? Well the trouble for the reptiles is that Peter Gutwein in Tasmania is a Liberal recalcitrant, and croweater Steven Marshall is similarly a Liberal recalcitrant, equally defiant on the matter of borders …

… which is why you get this sort of stuff coming from the likes of defiant, recalcitrant croweater Penbo, as previously noted by the pond, and not long ago at that …


And so on …and on ... no need to go on with it like a Penbo in full recalcitrant flight …

It puts the reptiles in a tricky position, so of course they have to keep railing at recalcitrant sandgropers and the toads, while pretending there's something different about SA and Tasmania… and this is how weird it gets ...


Senator Birmingham is a hapless South Australian? Somehow that puts him in the running for cheap shots?

But billy goat butt and lizard Oz editorialist, see the defiant Penbo … and see how far you get in convict-free land saying that no one wants to visit South Australia, because it's a useless place full of dingbats and aunts sitting on the verandah under the wisteria …

They might just as easily have argued that South Australia is a basket case, in desperate need of tourists … but no, the reptiles are a bit like the Donald when it comes to picking on states.

As a result, the pond finds the reptile contortions, distortions and antics endlessly amusing … but then the pond was fascinated by the sight of small boys picking the wings off  flies …

Oh and as for that bushfire Royal Commission … even the Terror managed a mention …


But in the land of the lizards of Oz? 

Maestro, please, the sound of crickets ...


9 comments:

  1. Hmm. The Savvy Sav is sorta quiet today - nothing too forceful or critical of anybody. Though she did have this observation to make about ScottyfromHorizonMarketing: "It has been a gruelling few months, so making time to reflect and catch up with ACTU secretary Sally McManus is a good thing, although it was curious that hardly anyone remarked on his [SloMo's] absence."

    Well yeah, I didn't remark on it either, did anybody here ? Maybe it's because SloMo is "trying to be all things to all people" ( https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/may/23/morrison-could-muzzle-his-china-hawks-but-he-wants-to-be-all-things-to-all-people ). And when you try to be that, you just end up being nothing to nobody.

    But Savvy Sav had better watch out for her future; News Corpse is slimming down a heap and is creating "specialist network teams to “work across titles to produce quality content”. Reporters from the specialist network would be expected to produce a single story to be shared among mastheads, including the Telegraph, the Herald Sun and the Courier Mail, instead of each title having its own dedicated team."
    https://www.theguardian.com/media/2020/may/27/news-corp-to-cut-hundreds-of-jobs-in-move-towards-digital-only-publishing

    With all those WSJ "reprints" lately (today's being only one of many) it looks like that scheme has already reached The Australian. But no WSJ ringin could ever replace the Bromancer:
    "Thus Beijing owns a port in Sri lanka. It also has a heavily fortified naval base in Djibuti" And it also leases a port in northern Australia, and if anybody from any of those places upsets them, the Chinese are going to pack up their ports and naval bases and take them home to China.

    Not only that, but also this: "Any Chinese investment must be approved by the Foreign Investment Review Board. Any Chinese participation in infrastructure building will have to go through normal government procedures. Any Chinese workforce will need federal immigration approval. "

    So, the Bro is actually praising bureaucracy and 'red tape' and espousing government interference in developmental works ? Are all the reptiles spaced out on hydroxychloroquine or something ?

    There's nothing much to say about Galston's ramble, just that compared to Sweden, America is truly great again because it doesn't have as many COVID-19 deaths per million as Sweden: at 405 per million of population it's about 30% higher than the USA. And, let us casually note, about 100 times higher than Australia at 4 per million.

    And there's really nothing much to be said about The Editorialist and the Border Wars that DP hasn't already covered. So, just another run-of-the-mill great day of News Corpse journalism: somewhat moribund but not quite dead yet.

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    1. Oh boy, America is truly, truly great: an incredible 6-figure "badge of honour" !

      The US has reached a grim milestone: 100,000 coronavirus deaths
      https://www.vox.com/2020/5/27/21267399/us-coronavirus-deaths-100000

      But them damn yanquis had better watch it: Bolsonaro's Brazil is coming up fast: 25,697 and accelerating.

      Delete
    2. 'specialist network teams' - thank you GB. We learned today - but not from any source linked to Limited News - that our local print version is about to become electronified.

      I doubt that it will be missed - a free newspaper circulates through this patch.

      It is printed on better quality paper, and has every indication of being put together by people with training in journalism. For example, it reports on all the business of the local council meetings, not just what those councillors who can be identified readily with the LNP might have said, or would have said, if they had been able to read their cheat sheet. (NOT that we condone party involvement in local government, you understand. Hevvins no, perish the thought).

      There are also several local 'business guides', put together by job-printing shops, which are likewise free, on high quality paper, and have no trouble attracting advertising dollars from local businesses.

      I may even pay money for a copy of the print version that informs the local readers of the great leap forward, onto their telephones (presumably), if only to share those details with other contributors here.

      Other Anonymous

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    3. Ah, the inexorable march of progress, OA. And speaking of which I once, not so very long ago, got two papers home delivered: the Progress Press one for the eastern Melbourne suburbs and the Whitehorse City Council Newsletter. And I got an annual hang up on the wall calendar, with all the school holidays marked (useful sometimes for avoiding afternoon traffic hams).

      Now I get none of them and I've never been informed why. Such is life.

      Delete
  2. GrueBleenMay 27, 2020, 1:46:00 PM
    JM: ok, not a bad movie, lots of great Aussie visions and views and you don't see so many Kingswoods like that nowadays. Appreciated.
    But does it help if I tell you that the very last movie I saw in a real life movie theatre was Alien (the first). :-)

    Hi GrueBleen,
    I live in the most densely populated area in the country, everyone hunkered down in place, so "Charlie & Boots" with it's "great Aussie visions and views" was a welcome tonic. Just as timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance, so I suspect that being able to go on a road trip across Australia(as it were) at this time greatly enhanced my enjoyment of this flick. I don't know who Shane Jacobson is but he stole the film from Paul Hogan.
    Jesus GB, Alien came out in 1979, you and Mrs. Lincoln must hold the record for avoiding theaters.

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    1. And apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play ?

      Yep, 1979 - about 41 years ago. I really did kinda lose interest in movies back then. I mean when you've had a relative youth full of 'Last Year At Marienbad' and 'Sundays and Cybele', Rashomon (and sundry other Kurosawa), Lolita and right on up to the first Star Wars, well ... that just about did it.

      But yes, it was beautiful road trip, and it featured Tamworth, and the only thing it missed out on was seasonal gliding with the Carpentaria Morning Glory clouds. And yes, Jacobsen was the real star - but that was always the case with Hogan (who, like I said, was much better in shorter sketches along with Strop).

      But thanks for the pointer. Now is there anybody who wants a 2nd hand DVD of 'Charlie and Boots' ?

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  4. Wow - are the perfidious Chinese trying to ensnare Daniel Andrews in a debt trap?

    All sounds a bit piss-poor doesn't it? Not like our major ally whose foreign policy involves a lot of smoking ruins.

    Australia now prefers a bit of espionage and sharp dealing.

    https://insidestory.org.au/bernard-collaerys-bombshell/

    Not that sharp really, when you consider the helium. "Helium is mostly recovered from flows of natural gas, and the Bayu-Undan field in the Timor Sea had more than enough to justify extraction. ConocoPhillips, the operators of that field, got it for free, and sent it via pipeline to a liquified natural gas plant in Darwin. The US oil major then sold the helium fraction to BOC Australia, owned by the multinational industrial gases group Linde, which opened a plant next door to the Darwin LNG terminal in 2010."

    "As Collaery’s account stands, both the Australian and Timor-Leste governments have neglected to obtain any revenue benefits for their people from a resource whose value seems to be greater than the petroleum gas in which it has been hidden."

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    1. The whole Timor-Leste thing is a very sordid little episode that just really illustrates the incompetency and the moral degeneracy of the Howard era.

      Interesting that the helium is so valuable, though. It's not something that we hear very much about - far less than, for example, we hear about 'rare earths', lithium and magnesium. I still can't quite grasp how a by-product of thorium and uranium radioactive decay ends up being concentrated with 'natural gas'.

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