In which the pond turns from the savvy Savva to the joys of hellfire ...

Today the pond will start with the savvy Savva, and then will sink into complete religious nuttery.

This is a vast relief, as it means being able to avoid all the usual reptile guff about Anzac day.

At the same time the pond can avoid much of the noble work of the lizard Oz grunts, hard at work in the field … even as a graph next to their endeavours suggests they might be facing some difficulties, much like the pond's machine gunner grandpa did in the Somme's mid-winter mud …

The pond tips its lid to these noble warriors, as each day they answer the call to service, but on the political front this day, only the savvy Savva can be called …

Oh dear, immediately plunged into existential questions about the meaning of SloMo, with prayers and shouting at imaginary friends apparently not quite enough ...

Uh huh, all this is well and good, but then Savva turns to the weirdness and sets the scene for the nuttiness to follow … a Pentecostalist evangelical into gratuitous sex and violence ...

Indeed, indeed, more than a few problems noted in that final gobbet, and sensible enough, a harsh word for former Chairman Rudd, SloMo being a goose, Barners being a treasure …

And so to the fruit loop nuttiness … undiluted essence of bromancer, who proposes exactly the opposite to the savvy Savva, suggesting that anyone who took on the bromancer as a political advisor might end up in as deep a doodah as the onion munching member for Warringah …

Now this is yesterday's reheated stew, and the reptiles advise that it's a nine minute read, and so the pond must warn that at least nine minutes of life can never be recovered for those foolish enough to proceed …

But then again, who can't get enough of SloMo delivering that salute to the Master Overlord, the imaginary friend who rules over all, and enlists followers in assorted armies of delusion who must perforce clash in Abrahamic nights, consigning each other to hell?

The bromancer kicks things off with a couple of quotes from the bible, apparently unaware that he is heading to hell, at least if the theology SloMo professes is to be believed ...

Um, actually the Pentecostals are busy consigning other Xians, notably Catholics, to hellfire. Oh they don't make a big deal out of it, they're quite modest, but they're also indefatigable and cheerful about the hellfire business …

YouTube is full of the hellfire consigning types …

And so on and so endlessly forth … but the pond isn't going to link to YouTube nutters, not when it has its very own reptile Catholic nutter defending the right of Pentecostal nutters to consign bromancer-style heretics and deviants to hell ...

The pond doesn't know what planet or country that the bromancer lived in during the 1950s, but rest assured, the division between Catholics and Protestants wasn't settled by the 1950s.

That's how the pond knows that one side of its family was destined to Protestant hell, while the other side of the family was destined to Catholic hell, while the Masons who ran assorted government departments not run by the other two mobs (determining employment opportunities etc) were destined for their own brand of hell …

Oh it was a hell of a time, and the weirdest of them all were the clap-happys, who were viewed with deep suspicion, as this poignant tale of a true believer, who left the cult of clap-happiness for the cult of Mary, sets the scene  …

Ah yes, many a time the pond was warned of the dangers of unbelief and clap-happys and their path to hell, and many a time, the clap-happys warned that bromancer types were destined for hellfire come the time of the rapture …

But apparently these days bromancer types are sublimely unaware of their fate ...

Sheesh, not only would he defend SloMo, he'd defend former chairman Rudd for the indefensible, the shameless flaunting of his piety for political advantage.

Sorry, it's way past time to consign the bromancer to hell, as explained by that convert to the cult of Mary …

Having lived for a time with a speaker in tongues, the pond can testify to that bit about a cheerful lack of humour.

And so back to the furiously scribbling bromancer, apparently unaware that SloMo's faith has consigned him to hell. It's not just Folau who does these things you know, everyone is busy consigning everyone else to an eternity of hellfire in the Abrahamic tradition ...

Oh there's no need really. It's understood well enough, both from summaries by others and by their own  online publications …

An unfair summary? Not really. Here's a gobbet from the primary source:

Lordy, lordy, long absent lordy, did the pond forget to include speaking in tongues? Here you go …

And so on and on.

How can the pond gently break it to the bromancer that he's destined for an eternity of hellfire?

These things can get tricky in even the politest and friendliest of conversations ...

Yes, and Hawkie's probably destined for hellfire too, all things considered.

The pond doesn't like to point these things out, but surely it must be done, just as hell itself must be explained.

Here the pond always reverts to James Joyce …

There's loads more of that in Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, and what's more it can be found in a larger, friendlier to read font at Project Gutenberg here … but now back to the reptile condemned to an eternity of hellfire ...

An attractive expression of Bible-based Christianity?

Why the hapless bromancer has been sentenced to an eternity in hellfire, and is too fuckwitted and theologically inept to know it … some bloody lake of fire and brimstone somewhere set up by an understanding and sympathetic God, because apparently She's tolerant, forgiving and loving, and so can't think of a better reward for the reptiles for their untiring, unceasing work…

And so to a little bonus for those who, likely having wasted possibly more than nine minutes of their life, what with the pond padding things with Joyce and actual beliefs and such like, won't mind wasting even more precious moments, thanks to Stephen Chavura, he of the reptile inverted commas ...

Now spoiler alert, Chavura works at Campion College, so the pond feels free to note that everybody in that wretched Catholic institution is destined for hellfire … Catholics being amongst the worst deviants, heretics, and ne'er do wells consigned therein by the theology followed by the likes of Folau.

It's a rich irony, but apparently Chavura is as theologically ignorant as the dog botherer …

Still, he's been blessed by the Lobbecke of the day, ensuring his cult status, as he wends the path ever closer to that waiting lake of brimstone and fire ...

It gives the pond no pleasure to consign Campion College and all within it to hellfire … though the pond could be in error, and perhaps the Catholics are right with their brand of hellfire, or the feuding evangelicals.

Could it be that condemning anyone or everyone to hellfire is itself a sure path to hellfire? Could it be charismatics who are destined for hellfire?

As I watched the video I felt a growing anger as well as a disgust for what MacArthur was saying and how he was saying it. His speech is as lofty as his demeanor. His criticism of charismatics is as old as the charismatic movement itself. So it’s nothing new. It is a familiar flame. What I found dismaying is his complete dismissal of the movement and all its adherents in a single one hour dignified gesture. With one speech he purged the rolls of salvation of over 500 million believers. Basically his argument is that charismatics dishonor God. Since they are therefore not in Christ, their theology is demonic. So since they are serving Satan and promoting him, there is a hotter hell reserved for them. He claims that the charismatic movement has done nothing to advance sound doctrine or biblical theology but in fact has caused more damage than anything else ever has because it has only delivered confusion, distortion and error to the church. He questions the church: You have always defended God. You have always defended Jesus Christ. Why do you not defend the Holy Spirit? Instead, the church opens the gates to the charismatics and they have taken over the city of God and set up an idol in its center. He doesn’t understand why God doesn’t just strike all these people down. He sadly supposes his ways aren’t our ways… (more gazing at fluff and other intercine splitter nonsense and feuding here, though the pond notes that none of it makes any sense, except everyone is going to hell)

About now the pond realised it was hopelessly confused about hellfire and who might be heading there, but what fun there was to be found in the ranting.

Sometimes, a few people get agitated about the free and random way that everybody ends up consigning everyone else to hellfire, but the pond loves it, especially when the likes of Campion's Chavura turns the other cheek, and freely embraces his fate …

There must be something intrinsically beguiling about brimstone ...

Oh heck, or we can simply keep on consigning everyone to an eternity of hellfire, which is great fun. 

Sure a few people take it personally, but not your average Campion lecturer, who cheerfully accepts that Folau-ian theology has got his number pegged … though strangely, while perfectly happy about Folau being able to consign everyone he doesn't agree with to hell, Chavura gets a bit agitated about pesky Islamics doing the same thing, or even worse, pushing for Sharia, which as everyone understands, is completely unlike the Catholic church's desire to control women's bodies, or have sex with young people, or the angry Sydney Anglicans love of complimentary women ...

Indeed, indeed, the pond is all for diversity … let hellfire reign down on everyone, including the bromancer, the reptiles, the lizard of Oz, Chavura, Campion College, the Catholic church, liberals, progressive leftists, and anyone else within earshot …

There's nothing like a goodly dose of hellfire to sort out everything …

The pond will admit that sometimes the question of the exact location of hell is raised, and no one has the answer, and after all this high-grade tosh, now is probably not the time to go into it, for the sake of the few exhausted readers who made it to the end (oh devotees of reptiles, how life is hell for all of us). 

But given climate change, it seems that the genuinely, uniquely infallible Pope might have the answer, with more papal answers to unsolvable riddles here ...