Surely, the savvy Savva is out and about today, agonising over the way the Libs can't paper over the chaos, dysfunction and instability, and the bromancer is at it again, lashing out at our national shame, those wretched late-arriving subs, and Barners is on hand to bemoan electricity prices, as if the current federal government had nothing to do with much of anything …
And yet the pond, being deeply perverse, felt the call of the day-old siren song of Moorice ...
How could the pond let pass the siren song of Moorice?
would like to learn: the song
that is irresistible:
the song that forces men
to leap overboard in squadrons
even though they see the beached skulls
the song nobody knows
because anyone who has heard it
is dead, and the others can't remember.
Please allow the pond to leap into the company of the world's greatest climate scientist and the most eminent historian this country has produced …
Indeed, indeed. This wretched academic might think the campaign in the Dardanelles was a completely botched and bungled affair and a wretched waste of human life. It was of course a complete victory, with Johnny Turk driven back to Ankara, his tail between his legs, and the war shortened by a good few years, thanks to the strategic vision of Churchill. (And Churchill managed a second marvellous strategic outcome at the start of the second world war with his visionary work in Norway).
Okay, that's burst the bubble of that ragamuffin ersatz historian peddling fake news, and put him back in his box, and now it's time for a little more history, Moorice style …
Ah, good old Moorice. Who else could take that tired old coinage "Orwellian qualities" and make it sound as fresh as a daisy, and drag in talk of the politicisation of universities, seemingly unaware that perhaps the Ramsay centre might perhaps involve a little politicisation?
Who else could mention "Orwellian qualities" and celebrate a place called the "Australian Consensus Centre", because we can never get enough bullshit verbiage?
Who else could mention "Orwellian qualities" and celebrate a place called the "Australian Consensus Centre", because we can never get enough bullshit verbiage?
Who else could maintain the rage about climate science and cheer on the denialists?
Who else could love Western Civilisation the way Moorice does, with a love as deep and complete as his love for beautiful coal?
We know what his love means. We must beware the Islamic and possibly the Mongol hordes, and turn them back lest all be lost, and the gatling jams and the red square broken.
and if I do, will you get me
out of this bird suit?
I don't enjoy it here
squatting on this island
looking picturesque and mythical
with these two feathery maniacs,
I don't enjoy singing
this trio, fatal and valuable.
Actually there's only one feathery maniac, and here's his last gobbet … and it begins with a most important line ...
Captain Cook a discoverer? The pond can hear the quivering indignation of cardigan-wearing academics, wretches intent on finding meaning in the English language.
But follow the logic. Most dictionaries define a "discoverer" as the "first person to find or explore a place", and who could argue with that?
But, the pond can hear the petulant pedants wail, there were people in country who had already found and explored the place.
Clearly these pedants know nothing of history. Who could argue that Cook wasn't a discoverer?
Oh sure there might have been a few indolent pesky difficult black people hanging about in country, but everyone knows that the rule of terra nullius applied: "land that is legally deemed to be unoccupied or uninhabited".
There was no one here. Nil, nada, nothingness ...
Some say that this was overturned by Mabo, but the pond is with Moorice.
The most important feature of Western Civilisation is the ability to degrade, ignore and render invisible people of a different colour to the noble white folk who rightly rule the world … bringing wisdom and insight with traditional eighteenth century thinking - though some might think that Moorice's understanding of things possibly stopped around the time of Elizabeth I, a game of bowls and teaching the Spaniards a lesson, wot, wot, before somehow those devious continentals managed to wangle their way into Western Civilisation …
The most important feature of Western Civilisation is the ability to degrade, ignore and render invisible people of a different colour to the noble white folk who rightly rule the world … bringing wisdom and insight with traditional eighteenth century thinking - though some might think that Moorice's understanding of things possibly stopped around the time of Elizabeth I, a game of bowls and teaching the Spaniards a lesson, wot, wot, before somehow those devious continentals managed to wangle their way into Western Civilisation …
to you, only to you.
Come closer. This song
is a cry for help: Help me!
Only you, only you can,
you are unique
at last. Alas
it is a boring song
but it works every time.
Fair's fair, and the pond thanks Margaret Atwood for the Siren Song that wove its way through Moorice's melody as a kind of counterpoint, but any hint that Moorice produced a boring song should be stoutly resisted, because it works every time for the readers of the lizard Oz - just look at all the newspapers littering airport lounges all over the country and left in racks, though offered for free, to see how people love their Moorice …
And now to catch up with the strange sight of a modern politician kindly sending his message behind a paywall, and thereby limiting his message to thousands rather than millions …
As with Moorice, the pond can never walk past a Barners, especially when Barners starts off by ignoring the way that dinkum clean true blue Oz coal has copped the odd subsidy over time …
Each year, the Australian government spends billions of dollars of your money on programs that encourage more coal, gas and oil to be extracted and burned. Market Forces estimates that tax-based fossil fuel subsidies cost almost $12 billion a year federally. This figure includes subsidies that support both the production and use of fossil fuels. But tax-based subsidies aren’t the only government financial backing for fossil fuels. Direct handouts and contributions to the industry are doled out at both federal and state levels. On top of this, public money is used to finance fossil fuels through our national export credit agency EFIC, as well as our involvement with international financial institutions. (here)
But this is a trivial, minor matter. More importantly, it should be remembered while reading Barners that the federal coalition has been in government since the 18th September 2013, and what do we have to show for it?
Well we have plenty of climate science denialism, much love of clean dinkum Oz coal, riven politics, and high electricity prices. What to do about it? Do a Barners, and scribble furiously, as if in opposition for the past six years ...
But this is a trivial, minor matter. More importantly, it should be remembered while reading Barners that the federal coalition has been in government since the 18th September 2013, and what do we have to show for it?
Well we have plenty of climate science denialism, much love of clean dinkum Oz coal, riven politics, and high electricity prices. What to do about it? Do a Barners, and scribble furiously, as if in opposition for the past six years ...
Why are the Liberal and National parties so blind to this national disgrace? Why is Barners so blind to the way he was once the deputy PM, and this was what he offered the poor and the humble pensioner?
Ah, the leaden monkey that sits on the back of the pond, held up by a leaden monkey scribbling furiously for the 'leet who have no need for airport giveaways and can afford to waste their money on a subscription to the lizard Oz to find out what their luddite MP is thinking ...
The Nationals are incapable of fighting for common sense?
Well that explains the climate denialism, but can anyone explain the curiously stilted English our Barners always deploys, with talk of "proscribed" and "privation" and "anathema", and riveting sentences, such as "What truce is there if their standard of living is being placed beyond their capacity to pay for it?"
Well that explains the climate denialism, but can anyone explain the curiously stilted English our Barners always deploys, with talk of "proscribed" and "privation" and "anathema", and riveting sentences, such as "What truce is there if their standard of living is being placed beyond their capacity to pay for it?"
Why it's almost as tortured as a lump of coal.
Of course the pond blames the federal government for the entire mess, but wonders if perhaps someday Barners might remember he's actually been in the federal government for some six years, rigorously denying climate science, while comprehensively fucking up energy policies …
Only in Australia, the pond would have once said, but now to a Brexit bonus.
Yesterday the pond recoiled from getting too close to the reptiles, and so missed out on Dame Slap explaining Brexit …
Though the good Dame is already out of date, with a tied vote, Bercow siding with the 'no' mob, and May still talking with Corbyn, why not finish the day's offering off with a whiff of Dame Slap? It'll surely fix what ails ya, even if if does three fifths of fuck all for the mess the Brexiteers have produced … and there's sure to be railing at the 'leets, from the reptile home in Surry Hills, where the best baristas in the world are standing by to serve them a morning coffee ...
In that spirit, perhaps a restorative Pope before proceeding, with more miracle cures here?
Voters might also look dimly upon Cameron’s attacks against the Mayor of London, who, after much deliberation decided to support Brexit. Boris Johnson’s press conference was deferential to, even reverential of, Cameron. Yet Cameron’s response in the House of Commons was vitriolic, insulting and full of mockery. British people might wonder whether a Prime Minister who mocks Johnson, the six cabinet ministers and the 40 per cent of Tory MPs who want Britain to leave Europe, is also mocking the British people who support Brexit or haven’t yet made up their mind. (Google the text for a result).
After much deliberation? So that's what you call the contortions and brazen lies of a self-seeking narcissist too inept to score the leadership, but happy to do an onion muncher?
And so to a scarifying image which will haunt the pond for months. Don't blame the pond, blame Rowe, and if you want to blame him, he can be found here ...
Of course the pond blames the federal government for the entire mess, but wonders if perhaps someday Barners might remember he's actually been in the federal government for some six years, rigorously denying climate science, while comprehensively fucking up energy policies …
Only in Australia, the pond would have once said, but now to a Brexit bonus.
Yesterday the pond recoiled from getting too close to the reptiles, and so missed out on Dame Slap explaining Brexit …
Though the good Dame is already out of date, with a tied vote, Bercow siding with the 'no' mob, and May still talking with Corbyn, why not finish the day's offering off with a whiff of Dame Slap? It'll surely fix what ails ya, even if if does three fifths of fuck all for the mess the Brexiteers have produced … and there's sure to be railing at the 'leets, from the reptile home in Surry Hills, where the best baristas in the world are standing by to serve them a morning coffee ...
In that spirit, perhaps a restorative Pope before proceeding, with more miracle cures here?
And so to a country worse off than this, and perhaps not helped by Dame Slap's nostrums …
The pond has to note from the get go that the idea that Dame Slap's talk of making sense made no sense at all to the pond, but it voted to stay the course with Dame Slap, certain that she would deliver for the hapless Poms ...
Indeed, indeed, and hasn't the Donald worked out well for the country, a wondrous achievement by our MAGA-hat wearing warrior …
Steady. The pond would never mock Dame Slap for her bigotry and self-contented stupidity …in much the same way that the lizard Oz would never run a column written by an anonymous clown parading as "The Mocker" … why, that would suggest all the newspapers littering airport terminals might be suffering from some kind of terminal blight or other disease …
And so to an abundance of conspiracy theories, and everybody except Dame Slap getting it wrong ...
Oh okay, it's got nothing to do with the Poms, but here's another …
Well it does feature a wall, and Dame Slap is all for walls and border troubles and the north feuding with the south ...
Say what? Oh cruel, unkindest cut of all, that Dame Slap should turn on Jacob and Boris … giants of the British stage, one as the sort of unctuous villain to be found in a Jane Austen novel, the other a clown who could defeat Charles Dickens and make Abel Magwitch sound like a sensible budget-balancing chap …
… though neither of them are remotely comparable to the rocket scientist the Dame worships …
And now back to the woulda, shoulda, coulda, and Dame Slap's classic "a pox on all their houses', with nary a hint of an actual solution in sight, but much mockery of the hapless Poms ...
Indeed, indeed, or even the first and last principle of mendacity and stupidity. Construct a meaningless referendum set up on monstrously stupid simplistic dualism, as fatuous and as silly as arguing over which end of the egg to cut, with the house divided between the big and little endians … because nobody knew what they were actually voting for …
In this carnival of deluded clowns, Dame Slap earns a special place in the Brexit Hall of Fame for a survey which fails to mention David Cameron and his role in the entire folly …
In this carnival of deluded clowns, Dame Slap earns a special place in the Brexit Hall of Fame for a survey which fails to mention David Cameron and his role in the entire folly …
And yet not so long ago, and long a Brexiteer, Dame Slap was fully Boris …
After much deliberation? So that's what you call the contortions and brazen lies of a self-seeking narcissist too inept to score the leadership, but happy to do an onion muncher?
And so to a scarifying image which will haunt the pond for months. Don't blame the pond, blame Rowe, and if you want to blame him, he can be found here ...
OMG Barners asks what kind of society doesn't care about the powerless? FFS it's your kind of society Barners.
ReplyDeleteSurely this old man is a leaner and didn't work hard enough so why does he deserve my help to pay his power bills? What sort of bleeding heart leftie or virtue signalling fool has this caricature of Footrot Flats's famous farmer become?
Perhaps Barners is thinking forward to his own old age after Natalie takes him to the cleaners in the divorce settlement. Will the daughters want to help him out with his power bills? Let's hope that the new wife stand by him and pay his power bills and help him find a nice place where his dementia will be treated.
Amanda Vanstone said she was worried about his mental condition. Now he's on the outer himself he's suddenly concerned with all the other disadvantaged people. If he has genuinely started worrying about poor people in India he is definitely cracking up. Not much concern for Pacific Islanders though.
DeleteI'm a person who has to drive a secondhand car 40km to go to the doctor. According to Barnaby I should be feeling miserable, but I don't. (Actually it's a secondhand Lexus).
"Worship of parliament's boarding-school zeitgeist" possibly means something, but not to me. He doesn't believe coal is a holy rock, so he's pretty clear on religion.
Re the fiasco in the snows of Norway. The British were issued with khaki overcoats, but the sneaky Huns got white ones, making them just about invisible.
Well, our Moorice is right on top of it today: "Anything that undermines our national pride, besmirches our military achievements and questions our values ..."
ReplyDeleteSo Moorice reckons that Gallipoli was a "military achievement" ? It was an ignominious defeat on behalf of an idiot - the same idiot who in a later war, having learned nothing, sent the Repulse and Prince of Wales to their doom (obviously Churchill had never grasped the concept of aeroplanes and air power).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinking_of_Prince_of_Wales_and_Repulse
Nonetheless, Australia does have a couple of military achievements - real genuine achievements - including, but not limited to:
1. the rats of Tobruk; and
2. the Kokoda trail where Australian troops were the first to stop the Japanese advance.
See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/39th_Battalion_(Australia)
Now we do hear about those two occasionally, but with nothing like the fanfare of the Anzac disaster.
And then, this gem: "...have such disdain for the bravery of those who saved this country from tyranny ?"
Please help me here, just what "tyranny" is Moorice referring to ? Does he mean that he expected Germany, or Turkey, in WWI to invade and conquer Australia and establish a tyrannical despotism ? If not, then who is the 'tyrant' the Anzacs saved us from ?
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DeleteMoorice and co are trying very hard to make Anzac the third rail of Australian politics but I don't think they are having too much success. People interested in military history know the facts and the type of people that jumped on board for the year of Anzacery have probably forgotten about it by now.
DeleteI'd have to vote for Kokoda (or Milne Bay) if you had to pick a military coming of age. We know now that there was no plan for invasion but it would have looked like an immanent threat at the time. For once Australians were fighting for something more than empire or some desire to prove themselves.
Well there might once have been an invasion intent - if not a genuine plan - but we have been assured that the Japanese weren't really going to invade.
DeleteHowever, that's not to say that if the war had gone more their way - if they had won the Battle of the Coral Sea for instance - that they wouldn't have gotten around to it in time.
Great to have you back Dorothy
ReplyDeleteOoee, Dame Slap in full cry: "Jacob Rees-Mogg made an ass of himself, accusing May's deal of turning Britain into a slave state..."
ReplyDeleteUh oh, the Dame is verbally assaulting one of the Bromancers main bromances: Ree-sMogg. Ooh will he make her pay for that or what ?
But I for one had never actually heard of the Treaty of Goulet - had you ? Isn't it good to have big-time politicians who are actually familiar with abstruse and boring factoids - we have nobody at all like Jacob.
Uh oh, the Dame is verbally assaulting one of the Bromancers main bromances: Ree-sMogg...
DeleteYes, I saw that and wondered if there was trouble at the office- perhaps a certain someone parked in Janet's spot? Used her mug? Took her last babybel from the fridge. He'll pay.
But what of poor Bjorn - Moorice has reminded us yet again what a nation of ingrates we are. Bjorn - only wanted to deliver consensus where there was none and bring a little intellectual dishonesty into our learning institutions while soaking up fat grants. What have we done to this poor man? We should all be ashamed.
That's so true about Bjorn, Anony, so very true. And he was going to do it so very cheaply too - only $4 million (to start with), and with that he could have readily absorbed the Menzies Retail-big-lies Centre into the bargain.
DeleteNow this from Dame Slap is just almost unbelievable (only "almost" because we do really know just what a self-absorbed imbecile she is):
ReplyDelete"May offered no explanation of contingency plans for the short term, no explanations of how a no-deal Brexit can, in the longer term, deliver a thriving UK, untethered from European bureaucracy and rules, trading independently like a Singapore of the North.
May cocked up with the EU too. She needed to understand what voters did. With its documented history of bombast, bullying and trickery to develop its supranational project, the EU has behaved predictably and rationally, trying to derail Brexit.
She should have used the no-deal Brexit as a ballistic missile to bluff and bludgeon EU leaders into a better deal for the UK."
Just incredible - May should have used no-deal Brexit to "bluff and bludgeon EU leaders" and turn the UK into a "Singapore of the North" while she's at it. And we've all noticed just how totally desperate the EU 'bureaucrats' were to keep the UK in the EU, haven't we. Why, the whole organisation will fall apart just 5 minutes after the UK exits.
That surely outranks all of her prior imbecility - Monckton's UN black helicopters, her MAGA Man escapades - the lot. Talk about Nattering Ned going senile and MAGA Man going totally demented, Dame Slap outscores them all.