The pond had intended to start back today by sharing its thoughts on the lizard Oz's new website … but it doesn't matter how much you polish a turd, you end up with something looking like a lump of coal …and it doesn't matter how much you try to squeeze coal into a diamond, you need more heat and light than the reptiles have to offer …
The new, ostentatiously "clean" look is simply an acknowledgment that the reptiles, in a desperate attempt to bolster their failing business model, have gone low-rent tabloid … and in the process showed they didn't have much of a clue ...
And then came an almost overwhelming sense of nausea … prompted by this wretched effort, Leaked or perhaps dribbled, on to the full to overflowing Intertubes …
It was everywhere … and it was beyond satire or irony …
No doubt it was scattered like confetti at airports courtesy the tree-killer edition - though it's remarkable just how many lizard Oz rags remain available if you're catching a late flight. They can't even give it away for free, this mX of latter-day journalism:
The digital edition was even worse, but it should be recorded for a posterity that certainly won't care …
Win a trip to the Galapagos? Is that the only way out of this fawning, obsequious, servile, grovelling, ingratiating, unctuous, slavishly cringeworthy effort at turning the reptiles into abject toadies? Yes, they were all there, "Ned" nattering away, the dog botherer doing his best, petulant Peta blathering about "Liberal values" - you know, electoral bribery and token cash in the paw - and the pond simply couldn't summon the strength ...
On and on they rambled …
All this for a budget which actually isn't in surplus - that's still to come in the sweet bye and bye - and is, as noted, a shameless, naked attempt at bribery via a little cash in the paw? Where's the rage from Dame Groan at this sort of thing, why is the bouffant one joining in the victory lap?
And the reptiles still wanted passer-by's to share their thoughts on the new-look website?
Well it certainly puts ad space above content, but then, given the content, perhaps the ads are now the selling point?
The pond looked at it all and shuddered. Perhaps by tomorrow the reptiles would return to their normal level of insanity, perhaps this fit of passion would pass, and then the pond could begin afresh …
Make a new start, even if that meant not scoring a dime … though the pond suspected it might be like this right up to election day ...
In the meantime, others have noted the reptiles' cranking up of their uxorious love to eleven, while taking climate science denialism to an unimaginable twelve …
Is it fair and just to dump all the reptile watching on to Amanda Meade at the Graudian, here?
Desperate times call for desperate measures … just look at the rest of the herd …
Is that the best that they could do to sell the package? A prime cut, a punt, a crossroads and a roll of the dice?
Sure, it all comes from a noble historical tradition … with drawings and Photoshop, rather than a photo montage ...
But right now, all the pond can say is that it missed the infallible Pope, with more papal japery here …
And that's that, another day the pond has deferred its return, another day of peace and quiet away from the reptiles, and at last a day when the freebies littering the airport don't offer the tempting opportunity to stock up on supplies for the outdoor dunny ...
Ah, well if you're still off on furlough, DP, there's just time for a little bit of retrospection with Jersey Mike if I may. And especially as you've pointed us to Amanda Meade's helpful contribution.
ReplyDeleteJM (if you're reading), you might remember a bit of a conversation we had a few days ago, see:
http://loonpond.blogspot.com/2019/03/in-which-pond-spends-idle-saturday.html#.XKGOjdhS_QU
If so, then you might be interested to read this:
From irreverence to irrelevance: the rise and fall of the bad-tempered tabloids
April 1, 2019 Rodney Tiffen
https://theconversation.com/from-irreverence-to-irrelevance-the-rise-and-fall-of-the-bad-tempered-tabloids-113656
I was especially interested in his observations that:
1. "However, in 1972, Melbourne’s population was 2.6 million and by 2018 it was 4.9 million. The Sun’s circulation in 1972 was around one-quarter of Melbourne’s population. In 2018, the Herald Sun’s was about one-14th."
2. "Very few swinging voters are reading the Murdoch tabloids.
The papers are so set in their anti-Labor ways that there is little prospect of meaningful change in their news coverage. Moreover, the anti-Labor diet has been so constant that if the readers have not yet been persuaded to go against Labor it is hard to imagine what future coverage will make them do so."
And that's my take on Murdoch's "influence" now: a much reduced audience and just preaching to the converted. So, vide Amanda, let's see just how effectively the Murdochrat press can influence the people of Australia into handing the coming Federal election over to the LNP.
I cannot say I have met many people that admit to buying The terror or The Hun but the ones that did admit to it claimed to be buying these for the footy. No one has admitted to buying the Oz (hang on - one overseas visitor who was mortified to realise it was a Murdoch rag).
DeleteI wonder how long the beneficiaries will carry this loser when Rupert shuffles off the coil?
Yeah, I've heard that rationalisation too, Bef. And I grant that the Herald-Sun goes big on sport in general and particularly Aussie Rules. And lots of people in the cafes where I peruse my free copy seem to read the paper from the back (sports !) inwards.
DeleteBut then I also look at the public's centre pages - lots of reader input in various forms: phone txt, email, dead tree mail etc, and almost all of the input is of a grade 5 retard level of cognition on various aspects of this world - and probably about 15% to about 35% on any random day will be 'anti-Labor' and about 2% to 5% will be pro-Labor or anti-LNP. But there's only about 50 at most in total per day, so that's not a lot. And there is also an appalling cartoonist who, by comparison, makes Leak look almost marginally human.
Hi GB,
DeleteCurse you and your facts,I hate when they over ride my bar stool wisdom as when I said
"From where I sit Donnie Dimwit was sent by that dark part of the Australian soul that produced one R. Murdoch, for without Murdoch there is no Dinki Di Dinkum Donnie...Slobdom is on the march, it's cry whatever Murdoch's media tells them it is that day. That's why I say Murdoch is so influential, he has liberated the worst elements in our society to spill out hatreds that would never have been tolerated 10 years ago. And they now have their Slob King."
So Murdoch seemingly is losing influence in Oz and the average age of FOX viewers in the US is 64 plus. But the damage is done. I suppose we should just be thankful the tide is receding, but we still have the flotsam and jetsam running our two countries.
That about sums it up neatly, JM. As an Aussie, I'm just glad that Fox News never took off in Australia like it did in the USA. But then, from what I can see, things are always more exaggerated and dramatic in the lands of the 'major powers' - as they were in the UK when Britain was the leading world power. And we didn't ever have a big civil war here either - they did in the UK though and it took them a while - and lots of emigration to the American 'colonies' - to get over it.
DeleteThe other thing though, is just how much the web will replace Murdoch. A world of Breitbarts, QAnons, Drudges, 4 and 8chans etc. Fortunately though, they don't seem to have quite the same effect. Though I do wonder how and where, with nothing whatsoever to do with Murdoch or the web, the USA acquired an Andrew Kehoe and Australia acquired a Martin Bryant.
Cupid? I see it as an Amazonian pygmy shooting poisoned arrows at the environment, the disabled, the poor, the ABC...
ReplyDeleteWhat I really notice with the new website layout is just how little straight reporting they offer now. The opinion pieces seem to dominate the page, which maybe they did previously, but it didn't appear as obvious.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, a terribly wonderful week of winning at the internet by D. Botherer.
ReplyDeletehttps://mobile.twitter.com/ABCMediaComms/status/1112853396388667392
He's an unending source of enjoyment, that one. And also a fitting reminder of the accomplishments of the Alexander Downers, and Malcolm Turnbulls, of the world.
Delete