In which the pond drops in on the bromancer and Lloydie ...

With everything up in the air at time of writing, what to do?

Well, the pond didn't want to go there with the bromancer, because already he's as out of date as stale fish and chips even a self-respecting seagull wouldn't touch…

But lo, the bromancer was blessed with the Lobbecke of the day, a rolled gold certificate of cult reptile status, and even in his deep irrelevance, the bromancer might serve as reliable evidence as to why Malware was stuffed, and the rolled gold role the reptiles played in his demise …

Rolled gold? Doesn't that refer to cheap gold-plated jewellery of a base kind?

Nope, just as the pond gets its really unique certification from News 24 for its absolutely unique way with 'unique', so it gets its rolled gold quality assurance from the reptiles …

And so to the rolled gold thoughts of the bromancer, reptile Lobbecke cult status certified ...

That's a perverse reading of what happened to Gorton …the pond prefers this reading ...

...with the Liberal Party divided 33-all on a vote of confidence in his leadership, after Malcolm Fraser had made his power play to oust him as Prime Minister, Gorton exercised his casting vote against himself and paved the way for Billy McMahon to achieve his long-held ambition and become Prime Minister, while Malcolm Fraser waited for another day. 
But there is no doubt that by rejecting Gorton when it did, the Liberal Party ushered in 20 years or so of leadership instability for itself, with the exception of Fraser's five years as Prime Minister. In this context, a further remark that formed part of Mr Hayden's assessment of Gorton, takes on added significance, "If the Liberal Party had realised how popular he was with so many mainstream Australians in electorates the Liberals needed to hold and, in other cases, wanted to win, they may have hesitated about precipitating his political end." 
Such an appraisal conjures up one of the great imponderables of Australian politics — what course events may have taken had the "Gorton experiment," as veteran political correspondent the late Alan Reid dubbed it, not been cut short by Gorton's own hand. One of the most intriguing aspects of that question is whether Gough Whitlam would have won office for Labor in 1972 had Gorton remained Prime Minister. For Malcolm Fraser, among others, has painted Gorton as a precursor to Whitlam. Certainly Gorton's policies and approach, together with his readiness to challenge many Liberal traditions, cast him in a much broader and more flexible mould that any of his Liberal predecessors.

And so to the potato head, which would likely result in years in the wilderness, or ScoMo, whereby we can all start speaking in tongues, and who knows, at the end of it all, some new Malcolm Fraser might end up in his twilight years, saturated with guilt, more leftie than Gough …

But enough of history, because there's much bromancer stupidity to devour, not least his sanguine view of the onion muncher ...

Now you don't have to be a Machiavelli to realise that the onion muncher would never have been sated, never satisfied, until he had brought Malware down, no matter what sops were offered to him along the way.

There's no need to look far for an example … former Chairman Rudd shows how narcissists - thwarted in their dreams of power - behave when ousted.

The Ruddster was given sops, but he was never satisfied until he restored the universe to its natural ruddy order …though the universe then had a few things to say about that, and the wilderness beckoned.

The onion muncher's relentless wrecking, sniping and undermining could have been done from a position inside the tent, rather than by pissing from the outside in, but the result would have been the same.

Almost everyone in the sane world has had a gutful of the onion muncher, and mindless minions of the Queensland plod kind, but reptiles of the bromancer kind can never get enough of his climate science denialism, and his third rate mind, and his capacity, enduring to this day, for endless policy revisions and indecisions so long as they serve his delusional ambitions …

The pond likes to think of it as a fundamentalist Catholic clan thing … which brings the pond to the second bromancer point ...

It's reprehensible of course, to deny the onion muncher his status as totally unique wrecker, sniper and underminer … but it's at one with the bromancer's almost literally insane understanding of things.

Oh come on you say, the pond shouldn't fling around terms like "almost literally insane" in such an intemperate way …but anyone thinking that clearly hasn't done enough reptile 101 reading ...

A cunning ploy, as if the bromancer could persuade the pond to take the side of Payne and Pyne, when all that would mean is that the pond would be pining for a painful world full of Malware follies …

Instead the pond decided it would spend its last moments with Lloydie, mounting his usual case of (indirect) climate denialism, yearning for the arrival of the potato head ...

There's a few presumptions in that splash, not least that potato head or whoever else runs the Liberal circus might have managed to defeat comrade Bill, and that comrade Bill is a climate science denialist eager to join the throng of Donald and coal lovers … but never no mind, the pond suspects that the onion muncher will feature somewhere in the tract ...

Of course, the onion muncher …with more positions than a weather vane.

Still, this gives the pond a chance to run a cartoon ...

… and provide a link or two.

The Graudian's climate change tag leads to all sorts of interesting stories, such as Arctic's strongest sea ice breaks up for first time on record …

And for a short read, Axios always presents a tidy graphic as in Global heat waves animation shows records broken in 2018 …

But now it's back to Lloydie doing what he does best, channeling the onion muncher ...

And there at the heart of it is the hope that the mutton Dutton will win, and will sail on, the onion muncher at his side, do a Donald and walk away from Paris, and all will be sweetness and light in a dinkum clean Oz coal world, oi, oi, oi …as if it was all going to be easy peasy, as if even the pond might not end up being radicalised by that sort of perversity ...

Uh huh, and because it's all worked out so well for the United States ...

Um, no, but the pond does believe in the endless capacity of stupid reptiles to spout endlessly stupid things in a rolled gold, absolutely unique way ...