In which the pond doubles down on dashing Donners with a dose of Barners ...

The minute the pond spots a dashing Donners' post, it drops everything and rushes off to read ...

Oh it promised much, a major hit on simple Simon, a carting out of the trash, a taking down of the man likely most responsible for the current crisis in Western Civilisation … along with a hearty dose of Catholics R Us, because Donners always wears his institutional heart on his sleeve ...

That's it? A naked reference to the joys of the ACU, a promotional reference to Donners' own work, and a standard bit of jealousy about the wicked Gonski?

And the demand for more "cash in the Catholic paw" somehow magically transformed into "an academically rigorous curriculum"?

By golly, tirades in the lizard Oz aren't what they used to be, and to be honest the pond felt short-changed … so it had to go looking for more action …and as usual, the reptiles had arranged a tasty selection ...

The pond immediately ruled out Dame Slap … after their recent electoral disappointments, the reptiles are in a mood for a hanging and Husar looks like prime material …

But the pond isn't into "ifs", and when the report emerges Husar will have more issues than a Dame Slap column to deal with.

And nattering "Ned" surely demands his own space, so perforce the lesser Kelly's report on nutter Barner's warning of nutcase policies had to be the go …what with Sky News now firmly established as the place where nutters do the interviews and nutters go to plead their assorted causes and reveal their personal sense of deep irrelevance … (though to be fair a few prefer 2GB) ...

Dearie me, what a vicious attack on Julie Bishop …

As she traverses the country two things have consistently been in her style arsenal – her 2XU running tights at dawn and, from sunrise to sunset, blazers by Australian designers Dion Lee, Camilla and Marc, Carla Zampatti and Bianca Spender. "I've always had a deep appreciation for fashion and our designers are world class," she says. For evening appearances, like her campaign launch in Perth, the Foreign Affairs Minister employs lots of sparkle via sequin encrusted jackets and block-coloured Giorgio Armani pant suits. (More fashion notes for pollies here).

Luckily Malware is above the Akubra-loving rural ragbag's anti-fashion notes and keeps good stylistic company ...

Like Obama, the great orator and crocodile merchant of optimism, Turnbull wears Canali suits (with the odd dash of Salvatore Ferragamo and Hermès), and looks good doing so. Cause for alarm? Malcolm's jackets hang right, and he also wears his ties (blue and non-blue alike) in a Windsor, showing Abbott that – although I must admit I'm averse to it – this knot can work if the collar is cut for its breadth. But, like Mike Baird already (wisely) has, our new PM ought to lose the cufflinks. They are a hangover from his 1980s lawyering and banking, and should be disavowed. They're impractical – how are we to imagine Malcolm writing, working, and spending much of his day sitting at his desk, as many of the rest of us do? Instead, they only tempt us to imagine him back at Goldman Sachs, channelling American Psycho Patrick Bateman. Oh, the cellulose fibres of his new Prime Ministerial business cards… (AFR here)

And now, as American Psycho has been mentioned, it's back to a dinkum Aussie rural loon ...

Whenever the pond hears of Barners, it forgets all sordid current matters such as the NEG and is swept back to the golden days of radio …

 

But enough of nostalgia and memories of Tamworth, there are serious matters to resolve, though strangely Barners no longer seems an authoritative voice … what with the chewing gum on the bedpost having lost its swagger overnight ...

By golly, forget Barners, now that he's used goods, this is a job for Gina's IPA …surely they're the solution to ensuring a world that can nicely bake in its own juices and produce a roast lamb at a mere hundred dollars or so ...

And so to a distracting Pope for the day, and the pond feels a little need to provide background … with the full Fairfax story here ...

Yes, that sets the scene nicely …  nowwho will stand up for Barners, moths and lizards everywhere?