In which the Caterist goes feminist ...

With more Pope here …

The pond must apologise … recently it said the Bolter's average viewership of 31,000 (Meade here) looked a tad paltry up against 24 million potential viewers, when the pond should have said 25 million … 

Yes, another million people who don't give a flying fuck about the racist bigot should have been counted in the tally …as the notorious attention-seeker struggles for relevance on a closed-circuit broadcaster whose business model has zoomed past its use-by date.

And while on this theme, how pleasing it was to see that prime doofus Caroline Overington being ravaged on The Drum, defending the indefensible - which is to say the racism and denialism running rampant in Murdochian rags - only for the cock to crow, and Overington feeling compelled to denounce the Bolter's latest criminal column as a disgrace…

By golly, if their ABC keeps this sort of thing up, there might be a sign of an actual spine tucked beneath the cardigan …

Even as Overington was attempting to defend the indefensible at Sky - let us talk to Herr Hitler to ensure his diversity of opinion and right to free speech is protected - Sky itself was in full retreat, as noted at the Graudian here ...

But it would be false goods to waste time on Overington - a regular drinker of the reptile kool aid - when the pond has promised that the Caterist has gone feminist, even if the splash didn't look promising …

Their hapless spokesman? Who could that be?

No, that can't be right.

Hapless he was, hapless he is, hapless he will be, but he's moved on to frying bigger fish, such as stuffing up the NBN and seeking redemption in copper …

Instead the Caterist column was headed by a Satanic demon figure, which causes paroxysms of fear at the lizard Oz ...

And there you have it …

The pond always suspected that the Caterist was a gormless wimp, but fancy him going the full feminist and howling at the bandana man for being "blokey" …

Where will this end? Will the Caterist give up his column and hand the space over to someone without testicles, after announcing his attempt at transformation failed and he remained too "blokey"? 

Will the Caterist denounce the entire mob of lizard Oz elderly men howling at the moon like banshees for being too "blokey"?

As for the compounding stupidity of denouncing someone for being too "blokey", while at the same time alleging he's apparently part of a toff north shore culture with elitist obsessions …

Well it's the Caterist, so fuck-witted stupidity of a Pommie kind is par for the course, because the dear lad is completely clueless, no doubt due to his own tendency to indulge in a bourgeois lifestyle of supreme poncedom…

The pond suspects that someone provided the Caterist with a special keyboard that - instead of the numbers section on the right - offered keys with big words on it …"elites", "elitist", "toff" … though possibly not "wanker" because it probably would be a tad too obvious for a wanker to start abusing others for being wankers, when possibly self-abuse might be a better use of time for the Caterist and his readers …

Now let's hear it for "urban sophisticates", from a rag that likes to boast to prospective employees that the world-class baristas of Surry Hills are standing by to service their 'leet needs ...

Now the pond understands why a refugee Pom would want to keep the colonies tethered to Mother England, and might indeed wonder why it was ever felt necessary to have a federation …and thereby cause the Caterist the duty of blathering on about the rights of states … but really, this day there's a very small dividend arising for readers from that ongoing government subsidy …

Unhappily the Caterist was feeling his taxpayer oats, so the last gobbet also runs on a bit ...

Lines like "smug-drenched paddocks" helps explain why the pond no longer bothers with gentility and politesse when dealing with the Caterist.

He's a smug fuckwit, and there's no point walking around the point. About the only thing that the pond will concede is that reading the Caterist is a form of self-flagellation, or perhaps more to the point, a kind of cruel mental torture roughly equivalent to draping honey on eyelids and inviting ants to the feast …

Oh the pond will concede another point … Bazza was a monarchist who contrived to find himself in the dunny with the Queen …

Bazza even went the knee …

But the pond won't concede that Australia needs the dead hands of a bunch of Pommie royals, celebrated by a taxpayer cash-in-the-paw blow-in bludger denigrating good dinkum Aussie blokes for being too blokey, and yet somehow at the same time too toffy and sophisticated, and so sounding like a Caterist wimp doing a Bertie impression …

That way lies madness, or perhaps the joining of a long queue at Centrelink …

Did you realise that these days they're warning you it'll take as long as six months to sign up, even if you're entitled, and the government will keep its money in the bank until it gives the tick of approval, and thereby snatch away billions so the Caterist might keep his subsidy?

Another masterstroke from the man who fucked the republic and the NBN ...

Not that any of that would trouble or disturb the smug complacency of a smug Caterist, but it might produce a bemusing Rowe cartoon, with more bemusing Rowe here …