In which, thanks to the Devine Terrorists, the pond gets its irony for the week in a single tabloid editorial day ...

Above all, the pond loves irony ... and if it comes with a hefty dose of sanctimonious, righteous hypocrisy, so much the better ...

The pond has always taken the view that some reptiles prefer the gutter, which is fine. There's a place for gutters, for those who prefer to look at the mud rather than the stars, and surely there's no better exponent of the gutter in Australia than the Daily and the Sunday Terrorists.

But gutter dwellers are rarely pleased with their station in life. They have an overweening desire to strut and parade and display their finery and pretend they're actual journalists, as opposed to yellow press exponents of the fine art of gutter trash talk ...

This often produces rich contradictions, and sometimes a catching up, when those in a position to judge notice the reptile antics...

Now please, note well, that splash at the top of the page from the Devine, on parade in the Terror this day bemoaning trial by media and how barbaric and unjust it is, and how it achieves justice for no one. The pond will revert to this as something of a chant in due course...

But in the interim please allow the pond to dance and clap hands with glee at the first of the Terror wars. 

Advice of the war turned up on the Daily Terror site for a nanosecond before dancing into oblivion. But here's the crime ...

And here's the conclusion ...

Nothing happens of course. 

The rascally, insolent gutter dwellers go on their relentlessly distorting way, none the worse for a little wear and tear. 

Few bother to head off to the Press Council here to read the judgement in full, and in a specialist site like Mumbrella, here, the news that the gutter rag was misleading and unfair will quickly become just another report, filed alongside all the others, just another other example of the outrageously misleading, and unfair, and partisan behaviour of the Terrorists ...

You wouldn't even use the rag to wipe your shoes, not if you wanted a bright and balanced shine.

But now to return to that Devine jibber jabber about the unfairness of trial by media. 

Recently a Sydney judge also had some unkind words to say about the Daily Terror and its relentlessly exploitative coverage of the daughter of a Premier.

You can read about at Fairfax in Judge launches scathing attack on media's coverage of Harriet Wran ... and while roaming, you might want to remember Media Watch celebrating another reptile war, one in which the Devine featured prominently, Beating up a ban, in which the Devine orchestrated perhaps the most spectacular trial by media of all, because of her astonishing obsession with maintaining the right of bullies to bully.

But enough of the Devine's venomous, poisonous hypocrisy, because that's just part of the pond's staple diet.

That Fairfax report was back on July 27th, and it took the slow-thinking reptiles a little time to come to a boil of righteous hypocritical indignation.

When the kettle whistle began to shriek this day, it provided the pond with all the irony it needed for the week ahead. No need for three servings of steak or irony pills this week to keep up the iron in the blood, no need for a dose of Devine snake venom ...

But through it all, let us remember the Devine chant about trial by media and justice and all the usual stuff afforded to Cheltenham Girls High School... 

And now, to begin at the beginning of the Terrorist's Ginsbergian howl ... because clearly the learned judge poked the reptiles where it hurt the most. 

In their pride, as if gutter dwellers should put in such fine and fancy airs ...

Indeed, indeed. One can imagine the learned editorialist turning to Miranda the Devine and saying, in the matter of Pell, "These circumstances invite public scrutiny. If that upsets a Pellist or a Devine, then so be it."

Of course there's zip, zilch, nada, nihil chance of that happening, and the average reader might think that this is where the reptiles would let the matter rest. 

But the puffed up pomposity of the gutter dweller is a marvel to behold, and so irked was the rag, that it went on and on and on, and so the pond must follow ... because this is a maxed out, cranked up to 11 irony alert ...

Indeed, indeed. One can just imagine the stern editorialist speaking to the Devine, and saying forget all this talk of trial by media and how barbaric and unjust it is, and how it achieves justice for no one, because the readers have every right to know exactly what is going on behind the scenes with the Pellists, and it is the Sunday Terrorist's right and duty to inform them, or at least to supply them with a rich overload of pompous, sanctimonious, righteous hypocrisy ...

But the matter didn't end there, and on we had to trudge ...

Indeed, indeed. One can just imagine the stern editorialist speaking to the Devine, and saying forget all this talk of trial by media and how barbaric and unjust it is, and how it achieves justice for no one, because it is the Sunday Terrorist's right to investigate what happened with the Pellists and to publish what actually happened ...

But just when an ordinary, average mug punter might think it all ended there, they were reminded that there's no end to the fancy dress ponce airs and ambitions of the tabloid yellow press gutter dwellers, as they imagine in a very fanciful way that they're actual journalists, as opposed to being a low rent down under tabloid version of Faux Noise ...

Indeed, indeed. One can just imagine the stern editorialist speaking to the Devine, and saying forget all this talk of trial by media and how barbaric and unjust it is, and how it achieves justice for no one, and reminding her that it is completely unrealistic that a prince of the church could expect not to be the subject of public scrutiny in such circumstances, and so one must applaud the ABC in its diligence in reporting on the matter ...

And there it might have been expected that this display of wounded pride, and tortured spleen and hurt feelings, might have ended, but when a reptile's ego is punctured, how they love to go on, in an indignant and righteous way ...

Oh indeed, indeed. One can just imagine the stern editorialist speaking to the Devine, and saying forget all this talk of trial by media and how barbaric and unjust it is, and how it achieves justice for no one. 

The Devine should remember that the church's experiences show how pedophilia can impact everyone, from the very poor to the very privileged, and while it is regrettable that a few might be put in danger or suffer mental health issues, any damage to the church's reputation was of its own making. It would, given the rampant and continuing charges of pedophilia and cover-up, for the church to expect that this would not be accompanied by the rigorous scrutiny a tabloid gutter rag might offer ...

Of course, you might breath a sigh of relief, not to be a Wran, used shamelessly by gutter journalists, cluck clucking and tut tutting while trying to kill more trees and generate more gutter clicks ...

Norman

(The coldness turning to tight fury) 
What do you mean about caring? Have you ever seen one of those News Corp places? Inside? Laughing and tears and cruel eyes studying you... and my mother or my daughter or my father there? Why? Have they harmed you? They're as harmless as... one of these stuffed birds. 
The Pond 
I am sorry. I only felt... it seemed they were harming you. I meant... 
Norman    
(High fury now) 
Well? 
You meant well? 
News Corp people always mean well, they cluck their thick tongues and shake their heads and suggest so very delicately that...

Ah Terrorists, kissing cousins to the greatest division of News Corp of all ...

Indeed, indeed ...

And plenty more front pages here ...