In which the pond discovers more examples of ABC bias, and a Caterist so wild and woolly he deserves to be in unReal ...

(Above: and more Rowe here).

It's the pond's unhappy duty to start off the day's duties by noting two outrageous, egregious examples of ABC bias ...

First came Media Watch daring to suggest that Miranda the Devine was involved in a beat-up, but instead was forced to reveal her impeccable researching and reporting ...

There's much more here, but it's been quite awhile since Media Watch dared to wander off and accuse News Corp of being a dingbat organisation with a vile crusader producing gay hate - cop a load of the abuse generated by the Devine and the Terrorists - and they must stop it at once. As if they hadn't already made clear what a diligent and excellent searcher after facts and truths she is ...

Surely the day will come when the totalitarian ABC rues the day when it attacks the remarkable work skills of Miranda the Devine, when she was only following the old saw of no names, no pack-drill ... 

Sure, no actual content resulted, as opposed to foam-flecked paranoia, hysteria and fear-mongering, and a story that would have seen Paul "Magic Water Man" Sheehan sacked, but what a relief that thanks to the noble Terrorists,  the Devine will sail on dispensing her invaluable insights dressed as acid bile ...

Then came the second remarkable example of ABC bias, this time on Lateline. The show peddled the usual sort of climate alarmism and hysteria the pond has come to expect from the cardigan greenies, and this time it was even worse because the source was Chinese ...

This is all very well, and more here, but the pond was deeply disturbed to discover that the program didn't note once that Qin Xiang regularly flew to do his research on a black helicopter, and was part of a UN scheme to use climate science to install a world government within the decade (as uncovered by Lord Monckton and Dame Janet Slap). The role of the Chinese government in this also went unmentioned ...

Now it's all very well to feature the work of people on the ground, observing actual events on the ground, and using actual data, but how could this remotely compare to the tremendous theoretical work being done by News Corp, the Bolter, Moorice and Graham Lloyd? Haven't they heard that Greg "the walri man" Hunt's work is done? And dusted ...

The pond realised that it was clearly in the presence of a totalitarian organisation. No, not News Corp, the ABC ... and so the clarion cry from the Caterists this morning pierced the pond's brain in the way that ice pick did some damage to Trotsky's neck ...

Hmm, that splash makes the humble Caterist sound like a crazed fanatic. 

Oh sure, that's true enough, and free speech should be strictly understood as the right to fully, totally and completely agree with the Caterists, and no alternative thoughts shall be allowed, but perhaps we could soften it just a little?

That's better. It's still remarkably stupid, but "...is one step towards" is a little less emphatically stupid, less clear a naked breach of Godwin's Law and so the swear jar fine can be reduced a little.

Unfortunately the same can't be done for the column, which is so rampantly silly, it will be a rich treat for any reader in search of prime loonery ...

Now it's not the pond's business to chart the chaotic confusion in the Caterist mind, or the veering off to Carlton when Sam the halal man happened to attend Baulkham Hills High School, but the lesson here is that a man who routinely banks taxpayer grants to keep his institute afloat is something of a stranger in his adopted country.

Hey ho, hey nonny no, on we go, but the pond promises a real treat at the end of the Caterist screed, once they've got past blonde and morning commercial television worship ... and please, no mention of Channel 7 in Martin Place and Pyrmont, and certainly no mention of Channel 10 in Pyrmont ... everyone knows that Channel 9 is the only network to stay in Sydney's west, broadcasting as it broadcasts from the outer west heartland of Artarmon, the same suburb as houses totally out of touch SBS ...

Why should any of that matter? Because stupidity ...

Let's overlook the refreshing Kruger ... because the awesome stupidity and the re-writing of history in that last par is truly amazing to behold, as if Adolf Hitler was somehow a fellow-travelling member of the Futurists - as opposed to a banal and conventional watercolourist - and Mussolini a soul mate of Futurismo Marinetti,  as opposed to a scheming self-seeking politician. 

One might as well assault the Russian Orthodox church for failing Stalin as a priest ...

But this sort of nonsense provides the pond with that special delight, the sort that only a man funded by Australian taxpayer grants could provide ...

You see? You need to follow the convolutions carefully if you're to lapse into total incoherence. 

It seems the early fascists were metropolitan sophisticates rather like today's intelligentsia - artists, writers, academics, dreamers, composers convinced of their own superior wisdom, in the manner of a Dimitri Shostakovich, who in matters musical was anything but modest - and it is this very same intelligentsia that wanted to crack down on Dimitri Shostakovich performances and compositions, not just for the music he conducted (yes, conducted, certainly not composed) and the music going on in his head, which he never ever wrote down ...

Does this make Shostakovich some sort of schizophrenic, being responsible for his very own persecution by himself, not to mention the odd persecution by the failed paranoid priest Stalin?

Only if you're as fundamentally and as profoundly a dumb fuckwit as a Caterist, who when in the grip of his muse is pure poetry in verbal motion ... like a crane in flight over Russia...

Put it this way. Anyone who can conflate and confuse morning television, freedom of speech and Shostakovich and Stalin in this way deserves their very own TV reality show ...

Okay, enough of the pond's current television viewing, and on to the artistic Pope, wherein it can be observed that Bill Shorten bears a startling resemblance to a duck. More politically correct Pope here ... and as sure as the reptile Oz continues to exist, and the taxpayer continues to give grants to the Caterists, more confusing, conflating, incoherent offerings from the Caterist clunker to follow ... remember that's what an "ology" degree can lead to ...