Over the weekend the pond routinely achieved speeds which back in the day a 1990s modem could have easily surpassed.
It was, of course, thanks to The Optus The (please chant in German Die Optus Die), and let's not forget to honour Malcolm Turnbull, the malware of our times.
The company is doing minimal maintenance, but then so is Telstra, until someone wastes money trying to fix up terminally useless HFC or replace the rain-addled copper lying dead beneath the streets.
It was, of course, thanks to The Optus The (please chant in German Die Optus Die), and let's not forget to honour Malcolm Turnbull, the malware of our times.
The company is doing minimal maintenance, but then so is Telstra, until someone wastes money trying to fix up terminally useless HFC or replace the rain-addled copper lying dead beneath the streets.
But enough of the pond's fear and loathing, what's upsetting the reptiles this day? Well the tabloid Terrorists are flogging Iron Man along with their usual hysteria ...
The pond is so over Fe 26 movie heroes, and movies based on Marvel and DC comics and graphic novels, and would like to mount a strong case for Fe(OH)3 ... but then, if Gods of Egypt is the worst movie ever funded with Australian government money, then surely Richard Linklater's Everybody Wants Some!! is the most indulgent movie ever funded by billionaire Larry Ellison's progeny.
A Silicon Valley approach to movie-making? If the pond wants a complete absence of plot, we'll just keep watching Last Year at Texas Baseballbad ...
A Silicon Valley approach to movie-making? If the pond wants a complete absence of plot, we'll just keep watching Last Year at Texas Baseballbad ...
Oh okay, it was a fraught weekend, and it takes a little courage to summon up the desire to do the dance with the reptiles at the start of the week.
The lizard Oz has hosted an abundance of shattered reptiles ...
You can imagine the pond's complete surprise. Jolly Joe a failure?! And we have such good broadband too ...
But this was by way of an elaborate avoidance dance, because it's the pond's duty to look at the reptile commentariat, and there's no bigger reptile than the put out to pasture Order of Lenin hunter, who offers a peculiar mixture of hubris and ancient Richard Linklater nostalgia of the most tedious old fart kind ...
Of course readers will note that references to the naive moral virtue of others will inevitably turn out to be a cloak, a smokescreen, for a preening reptile rolling around in his superior moral virtue ...
The natural question arises at this point. How far up himself can Chris Mitchell go? To where the sun doesn't shine, or perhaps even further, into Richard Linklater territory, or perhaps even by doing an Alex Proyas ...
But punters have to wait for the final Mitchell flourish to discover the truly grotesque level of self-uppedness...
Say what? Hanson's eclipse was all due to the Currish Snail? So presumably her recent resurgence is all due to the absence of the Order of Lenin hunter from the current Currish Snail coverage?
The strutting peacock fantasising about the enormous power of journalism? It's an astonishing sight.
Or perhaps it's just a massive bout of self-delusion and triumphalism producing a bizarro hallucinatory burst of writing which concludes with an attempt to blame Beattie and Labor as the target of Hanson's conspiracy theories ...
All the more wondrous as last week we saw this headline ...
Inter alia in that story, which can be found in full at Fairfax here, came this report of an SBS documentary soon to be screened...
So much for Peter Beattie. So much for the dropkick known as Chris Mitchell.
Here's how Mitchell should have ended his piece: ... in the conspiracy laden world of One Nation, Tony Abbott's slush fund dirty tricks, done on his own, John Howard assures us, will go down forever as a cynical ploy to jail Hanson ...
Except of course that "conspiracy laden" is the wrong wording, because that's what actually happened ...
As Alex Proyas is to Australian movies, so Chris Mitchell is to journalism and bootlaces ...
But as a reward for his sterling efforts, the pond feels compelled to honour his achievement in its usual way ...
It's a trifle battered, but the pond hopes reptile Mitchell will wear it with pride, and perhaps it will get him a place in Richard Linklater's next movie, about the glory days of journalism in Queensland, working title Everybody Wants Some More Mitchell Bullshit!! ....
I'm having a lot of trouble with this one, DP. Is the Lenin-Hunter so besoddled (if you'll pardon the freshly coined neologism) that he really thinks that Hanson's jailing was down to Beattie, ably assisted by the Curry-Snail ? Or some similar bout of more-than-ordinary madness ?
ReplyDeleteHowever you did bring back some forgotten memories of Abbott and his penchant for screwing everybody in pursuit of his own dishonourable ends. Hasn't changed a bit since his wall punching days, has he.
"This story was responsible journalism and another example of The Sunday Times setting the news agenda," the statement said. "We reported what various reliable and well informed sources from within the government told us. We fully stand by our story, as did the BBC which also had it confirmed by government sources in its reporting yesterday."
ReplyDeleteOver Fe 26 movie heroes (but I think you really mean Fe 56)? Then you should definitely try Fe 55!
ReplyDeleteIs that sort of half-life suitable for sustaining a demi-urgic franchise for the ages, with or without a tesseract-based opening-scene-shutout?
DeleteMitchell is such a deadshit. The total shit Mike Kaiser never was the member for Inala. Further, contrary to Mitchell's misrepresentations, Editorializing on his ( Michael Hans "Mike" Kaiser ) resignation, The Brisbane Courier Mail wrote: "It was a penalty this newspaper has stated was disproportionate to the offence he committed." 19 August 2003.
ReplyDeleteKaiser is your real Labor party faceless backroom sellout awu scum though who is still floating near the stinking surface of the ponds in various alp parrallel states.
Kaiser lobbied PM before top job
On Monday, Communications Minister Stephen Conroy told a Senate estimates hearing that he had recommended Mr Kaiser to NBN for a job. Mr Quigley met Mr Kaiser twice before giving him a $450,000 a year job that had not been advertised.
Last week Mr Kaiser left Ms Bligh’s employ for a lucrative $450,000 per year job running public relations for the non-existent national broadband network. Given that this network will be rolled out in Tasmania first, this provides the ideal cover for Mr Kaiser to spend time in Tasmania over the next four months and to ply his negative political trade for Bartlett and Co. - See more at: http://tasmaniantimes.com/index.php?/pr-article/mike-kaiser/#sthash.KperdcuL.dpuf
How to get a $450,000 job: no ads required - just a nice word from the minister
Disgraced Mike Kaiser returns as Bligh chief-of-staff
Former Labor powerbroker Mike Kaiser will run John Robertson’s election campaign next year
Labor in damage control as Kaiser quits
Talking of awu sellout scum, Inala is an alp rusted on electorate preserved strictly for the Palaszczuk dynasty. AWU sellout scum had no trouble working with can'd-do Cambell Newman - same, same, the usual dirty deal as they had with Joh in fact:
Queensland Labor stalwart Mike Kaiser urges Palaszczuk Government to retain Queensland Plan