Day 103 of MUC and day 56 of MOC, and enough already with the counting ...

Whither the noble sausage sizzle? Wherefore the wondrous patty cake? How now sponge delight, with jam interleaving?

All going the way of the ancient lost dinosaur, it would seem, thanks to the unendurable, unimaginable, seemingly endless, somewhat infinite 103 days of unofficial campaigning and 56 days of official campaigning imposed by Malware (the pond acknowledges and honours the influence of News 24 presenters on all grammatical usage).

Why not vote early, then scarper? Why not flee the copper ponce, an eastern suburbs snob with no interest in the ritual of the sausage?

The pond is made of sterner stuff, and has hung around, if only to put an end to this damned interminable counting, this ticking off of day after day ...

But then realised it was in urgent need of a distraction, which not even a sausage or a patty cake might provide ... which explains why this day we've gone and dug out prattling Polonius.

It's a sorry and sordid tale. The powers that be at the lizard Oz have determined that prattling Polonius is no longer a contender for listing on the front digital page. Oh sure he might bob up later, but the tedious old bugger clearly isn't scoring the clicks and so he's been banished from the Saturday morning front digital page line up ...

This might help explain why the pond's own business model is failing ...

And yet, dear old Polonius once more shows what a devoted viewer of the ABC he is. How valiantly he rails against the unwashed horde, how diligently he peruses and berates them ...

Well it's easy enough to see why the prattler has been deemed unreadable. All that blather about the BBC so that a tweet might be declared a thought crime ...

Oh dear, the tedious old bugger, no wonder he's dropped off the front page. Forget the usual tedious repetitions about the ABC and conservatives and gay marriage, invoking Macbeth's injunction that, stepped in blood and tedious Polonius verbiage, should the pond wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er, strange things I have in head that will to hand, which must be acted ere they may be scanned ...

No, none of that. 

There he goes again, banging on about plebiscites in the first world war, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge that he might troop off to the National Archive and read fact sheet 161 about the conscription referendums of 1916 and 1917 ...

It all goes back to the senile one's exchanges with the Flanagans, and Can you bear it? The confusion of Gerard Henderson ... 

The Graudian's weekly beast even supplied this lovely period snap here ...

Yet the pedant in the prattler is so strong, he'd rather die than use the word 'referendum' ...

As for the rest, well it's just another standard rant by the prattler in the cause of letting the bigots out of the cupboard to give the gays a good pounding, speaking of which, look who's hidden cheek by jowl with the prattler on the lesser, hidden digital pages ...

No wonder the pedant is unhappy. 

To be reduced, hidden behind the digital arras, and coupled with the lesser Shanahan ... there should be a referendum about this sort of maltreatment ... even if these two peas sound like they belong in the same pod ...

Yes, there's nothing like conspiracy theories and sinister alternative worlds to get the pond going ... if nothing else, then at least in search of a decent sausage sizzle ...

Get the picture? 

Is that code for 'get the nausea'? 

Now the pond fancies itself as having a passing interest in the cinemah, the pictures that moved, wot wot, and all that, and to judge Barners' ad as well-acted, funny, and at the same time, downright ridiculous, suggests the pond, when reading the lesser Shanahan, isn't in the company of André Bazin or even Pauline Kael ...

If this is what passes for wit in the world of Shanahan, then the pond is right to suspect we might be dealing with a half-wit.

Hey nonny no, on we go ... and what's the bet that having laughed uproariously at the wit, the astonishing wit, the lesser Shanahan would suddenly become mortally offended and deeply wounded ...

Yep, it's yet another tedious example of the ScoMo school of persecuted, long-suffering Xian ...

There'll be a lot more of this in the days to come, the faux outrage, and the deeply felt homophobia ...

Gay Rights Is The New Nazism: Meet The Men Speaking With Scott Morrison At Christian Lobby Conference captures the flavour ...

We don't really need people making fun of Mardi Gras when we can find people willing to link homosexuality to the rise of Hitler and the Nazis ...

Never mind, never mind, and speaking of pink triangles and gulags, and more Moir here ...

And so, for those outside the gulag, a chance to head off to a sausage sizzle ...