It's always good to start a Monday with an up angle.
Not that the pond is celebrating potential losses of jobs, but rather the potential freedom of more than 100 community and regional newspapers, released from the yoke of Murdochian tyranny …run wild and free, my pretties ...
And with that out of the way, on with the Major …
Now the pond isn't an expert in reptile speak, but loosely translated, in a Google translation way, the Major is saying, everybody else has personal biases, but as the sun shines out of my arse, please allow me to describe the situation with my own personal bias, while pretending I'm a glorious font of solemn objectivity …
Not many reptiles can accomplish this level of hypocrisy, but the Major Mitchell, who still hasn't found that Order of Lenin medal, is an expert in the art …especially when it happens to involve one of the recidivists, one of the wretches who fled the lizard Oz and gasp, joined the ABC …
Look at the double-dealing hussy, still to be found in the reptile archives …
And now on to the Major giving her a sound spanking for her treacherous, traitorous ways ...
It takes some major Major Mitchell skill to defend the fuckwitted Tehan, who left the reservation in a big way, and of course the easiest way is to blame the interviewer … yes, he too is a rat fink, lickspittle treacherous traitorous lackey of the first water …
With some the power of the kool aid has always been strong, and the Major is addicted to the stuff, which produces a potent brand of inherent political bias ...
As always with Majors, the Major is keen, in a major way, for others to step into the front line … because after all, those who type columns from the safety of a Murdochian bunker also serve ...
Does the pond have a bone to pick with the Major?
Well he could have mentioned the stunning success of the USA running pell mell back to work, urged on by the Donald, backed by the Chairman and Fox News, so that the pond could run an immortal Rowe …
What the heck, where's the harm in running it anyway, with more Row always here …
And so the next item on the Monday agenda, and here the pond must report a failing, because it simply refuses to deal with the dog botherer this day …
You see it's just a spiteful assault on a journalist, bitchy and sour and jaundiced, and all because, likely enough, before making a fateful mistake, the journalist upset the dog botherer by being younger and more successful …
The dog botherer's complaints could be distilled down to a couple of pars …
Of course the dog botherer had to give up on Twitter because he kept on revealing he was a fuckwitted fool, to the point where he couldn't stand his own stupidity being regularly commented on … and as for that mattering of hacking?
Why the pond has been going quite biblical in recent times, and that line once again brought out the pond's ancient reading of the bible from cover to cover …
What did it say in John?
Well the sex might not be quite right, but the sentiment could be found all over the place back in the day ...
The pond supposes it could also have quoted the biblical stuff about the mote in eye, and many more verses, but enough already. So much for the dog botherer lathering himself up over Twitter and hacking …
And so on to the next pond regret … the discovery that the cult master this day was attached to a piece by George ...
Not only is it a minor piece by the cult master, but George is not a reptile of the pond kind.
George does himself a disservice by attempting to bring civilisation and logic to the reptiles - breaking Godwin's Law, there have been quislings in every era who don't help by propping up that which should be destroyed - and it left the pond nowhere to turn but the Caterist to fill up the day's reptile droppings … (not even useful for growing larger watermelons) …
Fuck, are they still going on about comrade Bill? It's like the Donald returning to the glory days of 2016 over and over again, and the size of his inaugural crowd, and all the other malarkey …
Why doesn't the Caterist revert to other golden times, like his expertise, hallowed in legal history, regarding the movement of flood waters in quarries?
Well there's nothing to do but apologise in advance, and put newspaper over the gaps in the wall, as the pond's grandparents were wont to do, in the hope that it will cut down on the noises, the windy whining and the airy snivelling at the feet of S loMo …
Oh did the pond mention another reptile phobia, one that the Caterist shares in a major way with the Major and all other reptiles? A hatred, a fear and loathing of Jacinda Ardern …
It might seem irrational, but it's simple enough … she's a woman and she's been successful … and that's more than enough. The fact that it's hard to crack jokes about her and sheep must be considered secondary …
But whenever the reptiles hold up Ardern as symbolising everything that's wrong in the world, the pond always remembers that the chairman and Fox News have their own champion … and hasn't he handled matters in a way that makes Ardern look like a wretched failure ...
But back to the Caterist and a noble pond tradition.
For years whenever the Caterist turned up to explain how others should be short-changed, the pond would note that the Caterist somehow still seemed to have a snout in the trough, a paw out for a little cash in the hand …
Then the Department of Finance cunningly changed its reporting method so researching the results became tiresome and tedious …
But the Caterist is still there with his Research centre, his snout in the trough, his paw out for a tickle of the cash, guvnor, don't you worry about that ….
The pond doesn't really need to know the details, but for those who can't be bothered looking up the site, the excuse - would you believe it? - is "cultural heritage" - as if the Caterists were ancient monuments of the Easter island kind, or perhaps the rocks at Stonehenge, and the Menzies Research Centre a sacred site …
That's "cultural heritage"?!
Now on with blather about not racking up debt, and making sure the poor stay poor, while the Caterist orders a goat milk bath of government-funded delights ...
Shouldn't he be busy writing an application for next year's government funding, instead of slacking off and scribbling for the lizard Oz?
The pond was so bored at the thought of doing the Caterist again that it was delighted to stumble across this ancient infallible Pope on Reddit …
Sure it has nothing directly to do with the Caterist, though that last line could have read "Ms Ardern … is this just Kiwi socialism dressed up as 'existential survival' - Ms Ardern, Ms Ardern, have you considered a grant for the Menzies Research Centre?'"
But at least the pond has filibustered its way to a final Caterist gobbet, in which he announces he's foolhardy ...
And so to another cartoon that caught the pond's eye. This hasn't got anything to do with the reptiles either … the pond found it in the Graudian here …
And it swept the pond back to the days when it had ancient books of collected Punches featuring Tenniel and the like, and many a rainy day in Tamworth was spent dreaming of empire, and the way the British viewed those crafty Europeans, while the world was its oyster, and Brexit just a gleam in future Boris's eye …
and harking back (to clutch a cliché) DP - Kez did put up comment on your post of 5/09/2020, with verse. I commend it to this morning's readers, given that the choice otherwise is Menzies Research Centre, or the Major's Research Centre, or a limp Lobbecke. It includes the simple pleasure of seeing 'gallimaufry' used correctly.
ReplyDeleteThat pleasure contrasts with even a quick scan of responses to opinion writers for various distributaries of Limited News, where the difficulty is getting past the solecisms, mis-spellings and grocer's apostrophes to try to glean the message. One good example is the regular responder to the Akerman, who addresses comments to - Pier's.
Other Anonymous
I dunno, OA, but I think I'll go for the word of today: catawampus - defined as askew, awry, cater-cornered.
DeleteCheers OA!
DeleteAnd so the great delusion is built up: ScoMo shines under the pressure of Covid-19. He is a true leader, forget about all that bushfire malarkey. Labor were ueseless under Shorten and just as useless under Albanese. Did I mention what a great leader ScoMo is? How he led from the front, even announcing the date for closing the economy down in advance. Then he was off to the footy, and no doubt the last Horizon mass gathering before shutdown. How he listened to state premiers on health measures, but only because the National Cabinet depended on it. How he wanted to open schools again (bugger what teachers think) but had to give in to those pesky premiers, who really are in charge of things like education. How good is that?
ReplyDeleteNow let me see, Maj Mitch says: "The ABC, overwhelmingly staffed by highly paid middle-class journalists in safe employment ..." But then, the Saturday Paper's Mike Seccombe says "Since the current government came to power in 2014, the broadcaster has lost hundreds of millions of dollars in funding and about 1000 jobs." and also that even so, "Hundreds facing the sack with ABC cuts ..."
ReplyDeleteYep, that's what I'd call well paid secure employment, wouldn't you ?
However, here's the Mad Major's magnum opus when he talks about "the nation's retail workers ... staffing the checkouts of the nation's supermarkets and stores" and "the nation's nurses and doctors who have been catching the virus in hospitals" and also "the army of independent tradespeople".
Ok, so as best I can understand from that, because some people are at risk, it must be good to add more people at risk to the list. Besides, he isn't addressing the obvious question of how kids travel to and from schools: let me assure you, as myself being a train traveller on occasions, that a significant number of them travel by public transport: trams, trains and buses, where they are packed in for some period of time, "face to face with adults of unknown health status".
So what do you think it would take to even begin to get this message across: that schoolkids going to school aren't only exposed in the classroom, many are exposed on the way to school and back home again.
One last thing: the young, and especially the otherwise healthy appear to be at low risk at present, but:
Scientists concerned that coronavirus is adapting to humans
Researchers have observed mutations in some strains that may help the virus spread
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/may/10/scientists-concerned-that-coronavirus-is-adapting-to-humans
So, will the young and healthy always remain at low risk ? Or is that a message way too difficult for a mugwump reptile to grasp ?
Poor old Mad Major :(
DeleteLike the other largely unrewarded and un-respected late middle-aged and low-achieving gentleman at Holt St, a reckoning is not too far away. Sure they all give us a regular giggle, but every now and then, when you ramble at competent people, they'll snap back.
The burn here at the end of Sally Jackson's response from the ABC is glorious: https://twitter.com/gavmorris/status/1259763537863270400
Very good indeed, vc, but it won't make any impression in the herpetarium. It was done by an ABCer, you see.
DeleteRequiescat in pace Jack Mundey.
ReplyDeleteIn NSW they got Jack, in Victoria we got Norm Gallagher.
Hi DP. I fear all may not be well in Lobbeckeland judging by his recent reversions to representational monotony. He’s run out of puff and resorted to straight out figurativism. There’s nothing to see here, nothing remotely cryptic. No deep codes to ponder, just Loony Toons sans wit, style, meaning and motion. I can imagine him in a sandpit amongst assorted matchbox cars, lazily swiping the iPad to upload dreggery such as this. And just how many humdrum depictions of a grimacing ScoMo can one endure?
ReplyDeleteSad Kez, deeply sad but true, and his substitute is even more feeble. Perhaps he's gone like Dali in his dotage, those gloriously surreal touches now a thing of the past ...
DeleteReality, being a bit a bit problematic at the Menzies Institute, Cater has blown retreat again. We have some revisionism trying to paint the widely acknowledged success of the GFC stimulus as a failure because . . . err, I don't actually know why, and then we have an alternate universe in which Comrade Bill is leading us to disaster.
ReplyDeleteIt's all a bit distressing for the neoliberals, effectively having no role but to whinge from the sidelines. Governments and collective action are running this thing and markets have gone missing. Like the GFC, the advice to either party would be effectively the same and the only difference would be the willingness or otherwise to abandon ideological baggage and get on with it.
https://theconversation.com/the-coronavirus-stimulus-program-is-labors-in-disguise-as-it-should-be-133383
On another subject, the Hillsong Conference is scheduled to begin 4 July, any bets on whether restrictions will be lifted by then?
The Gang of Four's GFC stimulus was "a failure" because it was done by "them" and not by "us", and because it countered all the articles of idiotic faith the wingnut world has sucked up and fastened onto over many, many years.
DeleteEven now, we just keep on getting nonsense, especially from Murdochian reptiles, about imposing a terrible debt burden on coming generations.
I am still, though, finding it hard to understand just what got into ScottyfromMarketing and Frydenberg's heads that enabled them and pushed them to do the very necessary (but sadly imperfect) things that they have done.
Google search result blurb – “The Menzies Research Centre is an independent think tank associated with the Liberal Party of Australia.”
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought “independent” meant “not associated with”.
Cater - “The restoration of growth depends on individuals and businesses who are prepared to take risks in the hope of a return. The task is to increase business activity as fast as possible, while taking all reasonable precautions against the spread of the coronavirus and accepting a degree of risk.”
There’s no mention of the poor plebs who will be doing the real work while Cater’s hallowed “individuals” are safely isolated in their “individual” offices, and we all know who’ll be taking the greatest risks in this scenario.
I see from Cater’s stink tank website he is having that unctuous toad Tom Switzer as a guest podcaster this week. I will never forget hearing him on the ABC in 2015 sucking up to non climate scientist “Lord” Nigel Lawson aka Baron Lawson of Blaby (and brother in law to Lord Monckton), who was baldly stating that “the world had stubbornly refused to warm during this century as a result of increased concentrations of CO2”. Switzer of course just let him spout this kind of crap for 30 minutes of taxpayer funded radio time.
The problem with the Switzers of this world - and there are many of them - is that they don't know just how much crap the Nigel Lawsons of this world excrete on a daily basis. On the other hand, I don't know how many people would pay either of them much attention, anyway.
DeleteAlthough, Kez, with every collective body purporting to represent 'business' convening committees, and, da-dah! 'working groups' (as reported by the Korporaal over the weekend) the kinds of individuals the Cater has in mind will have to look in on the odd meeting - otherwise, we might forget who they are and what it is they claim to do.
ReplyDeleteSome years ago I acquired a supposed qualification in business management. One area that appealed for my thesis was the study of what CEOs and similar claimed to do, compared with what they actually did. There were a few serious studies on this, but they only covered a brief time before the various business buddy groups circulated the word that it was dangerous to allow researchers to sit in a corner of their vast offices, just recording what the great ones did. Gave the wrong impression, y'know. So there were not enough such studies for me to work up a reasonable thesis in the time expected.
The clear message was that there was a huge gap between what the PR about CEOs claimed they did, in setting directions, planning and strategizing, inspiring the plebs, laying down principles and policies - and what they actually did, which was remarkably trivial.
Other Anonymous
Not every CEO can inspire their very own Boswell to record and broadcast their amazing exploits. Because, indeed, there are very few exploits actually worthy of recording - they can't make a radical business decision every week, or even every year.
DeleteSo, curiosity impels me to inquire, what did you study to acquire your qualification ?
GB - craven candidate that I was - I did as (I am fairly sure) all the others did, and 'analysed' what I had done in restructuring a segment of a particular industry. It was, of course, a remarkable success, both in the doing (some years earlier) and even more so in the reporting. And it received a good assessment, even though I had included several citations of Jonathan Swift.
DeleteIf you are interested in the studies that I could not use, a good text to start with is 'The Nature of Managerial Work' (1973), Harper & Row. There is a fair summary of the author, Henry Mintzberg, on the Wiki. I cannot recall ever seeing his name cited by any self-styled 'business' or 'economic' opinion writer in any Limited News publication, so you know he is well-regarded in academic circles.
Other Anonymous
OA - His first degree was mechanical engineering then it was all downhill from there with a Master's and Piled higher and Deeper in "Management". Oh well.
DeleteBack when I was just a mere consultant IT architect, I took some interest in the theory and practice of "management" and the most useful thing I encountered was the separation of decision "making" and decision "taking". This amounted to basically organising the process into the part of coming to and clearly specifying what the decision was: design, resources, financing, implementation plans etc which should be done as scientifically as is humanly possible and then came the "taking": agreeing to the objectives, accepting the risk, raising and/or apportioning the resources, defending the decision against the usual set of opponents and enemies etc - which, of course, contains a significant emotive aspect.
The problem was often, I observed, people who should be decision "takers" always wanted tb believe that they were actually "makers" and wanted to over-ride their specialists. So it goes.
Looking in the Wiki entry for him, I'm not sure I see that necessary division, but at least the list of his "contribution to organisation theory" looks interesting. When libraries are open again, I might just see if mine has the book (I don't waste money by actually buying them nowadays), so thanks for the reference.
Yes GB, remembering that The Right Honourable The Lord May of Oxford was once Robert May, graduate Chemical Engineer from Sydney University. His passing, two weeks back, scored a perfunctory mention in Limited News, where a deservedly obscure writer tried to wring out a story that May's epidemic modelling somehow disproved the modelling used by WHO. I think that would have surprised Baron May and the WHO.
DeleteSome of May's most interesting contributions to the study of biology came from applying the methods of engineers; seeking the limits of fundamental equations, (derived from the logistic) if you calculated iterations across the entire range of known values of the factors.
Other Anonymous
Oh, and thank you for the observation on 'takers' and 'makers'. It reminded me that, during the residential portion of my studies in management, perhaps the most valuable thing I learned was that many rising, or top, executives absolutely could not handle vigorous tutorials if it meant that their assertions were likely to be questioned. In some cases it was apparent that they had risen through the ranks because they would brook no dissent from their assertions/opinions in their organisations, so had acquired some cachet as a 'no nonsense' kinda guy.
DeleteOther Anonymous
Yes, May's life was quite a success story for an Aussie lad. It might even be considered inspiring if people had ever been told about it instead of being swamped with guff about cricketers, tennis players, swimmers and footballers.
DeleteWhen I manage to turn up some of my old stuff from "back then", I might even be able to give you the reference as to where I encountered the making/taking analysis. It was around 25 years ago.
Otherwise, yes, it's been an observation of mine over the years that many of the 'management' positions in the world are occupied by sociopaths. That doesn't surprise me, sociopaths are ideally conditioned for 'leading'. What does surprise me is how much they seem to gather a willing coterie of minions.
Yes, President of the Royal Society is as nothing compared with playing 26 games with the Saints.
DeleteOther Anonymous
Dorothy wrote -
ReplyDelete"the potential freedom of more than 100 community and regional newspapers, released
from the yoke of Murdochian tyranny …run wild and free, my pretties"
"yes, he too is a rat fink, lickspittle treacherous traitorous lackey of the first water"
"and it left the pond nowhere to turn but the Caterist to fill up the day's reptile droppings … (not even useful for growing larger watermelons)"
I still have a long way to go to appreciate all that goes on in these pages, but DP's musings such as the above alone are worth the price of admission.
It would be a shame if not a cheat if she doesn't one day turn out a book in the Hunter Thompson tradition.
I understand it wouldn't fall within the Ponds remit to share here a cogent piece
by a reptile journalist, but my god they can't all be 'bigly' fools on the level of Sheridan.
Or maybe I am wrong, and it would take a modern day Diogenes with one big lamp to find a decent reptile scribe.
Can't say that any worthy reptile scribe springs readily to mind, JM. Partly, at least, because they have to keep churning it out, and even Shakespeare couldn't write a new classic every week, so even he has potboilers to his name.
DeleteDon't think we've ever had a Hunter S Thompson in the land of Oz, and even he had his limits.
Hunter Thompson? But the pond only takes aspro, and there's not a drop of acid in the house! Will bleach do the trick? Must give it some thought, or perhaps just poke a light up the bum ...
DeleteHi Mike - I humbly submit this for your perusal.
Deletehttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-05-10/group-of-demonstrators-protest-victorias-social/12232730?nw=0
Genuine home grown nutters.
But you gotta admit, DP, that a bit of gonzo is much better than a heap of reptile.
DeleteYair, saw a bit of that on the teev news, Bef. They outnumbered the forces of order, but not by much. I put it down to the failure of schools and schooling plus the closure of the insane asylums.
Thanks for that Befuddled. Nutters indeed. Thankfully I was wearing my aluminum foil tri-corner
ReplyDeletehat so their words didn't penetrate. I don't know if any Americans were in that crowd but I read where the lunatic Bible Beater fringe hoping for the end times have designated NZ and Australia
as ideal places of refuge. No kidding, VP Pence's biggest money backer has been buying up land
in NZ with the aim of settling his followers there. Oz is second choice, for the not as well
heeled nutters, why that is the case I have no idea.
I hope the Aboriginal people will do the right thing this time when a fleet of these people arrive on your shores.
Most likely because property is cheaper in NZ than in Oz. And living expenses are lower. Not nearly so many Chinese in NZ as in Oz. And there's only about 5 million or so, inclusive of Maoris. And the scenery and skiing is better. And the 'Pacific rim' geology of the place means that it will sink into the ocean sooner than Australia.
DeleteBut then: "Reunite Gondwanaland" ! And about 700,000 NZ-born live in Australia to help bring that about.
And: Why Silicon Valley billionaires are prepping for the apocalypse in New Zealand
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/feb/15/why-silicon-valley-billionaires-are-prepping-for-the-apocalypse-in-new-zealand
GrueBleen,
DeleteThank you for the link. These indeed are strange times.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete