Sunday, August 26, 2018

In which the pond gives up the teetotal tabloid lifestyle ...

The pond hesitated. 

It had sworn off the Murdochian tabloids, but then these were exceptional times. 

Would one sip mean the pond was no longer teetotal?

Even more shocking, a reader had offered the pond free drinks, with a tip about a Firefox extension that allowed the pond to go on a binge, without thinking of the blinding headache and the remorse that was sure to follow ...

And then there was the male readership to consider. The pond has long observed that certain men get excited by the sight of women fighting, and it's possible that in the depths of their dark perversity, they might be entertained by Petulant Peta up against Miranda the Devine …

After all, PP led with the notion that no-one in political life is a better hater than Malware, which seems incredibly unfair and unjust up against the onion muncher and PP herself. 

There's no need for such false modesty, let the unrelenting hate flow …

Now the pond doesn't mean to cut off PP in mid-flight, not when she's about to compare Malware to former Chairman Rudd. 

That's just the way the reptiles arranged the inserts of assorted videos and stills, and the pond had no room for such trivia, stock photos and Sky promotions …

But it does give the pond the chance to comment on the modesty of PP, since the history of undermining, sniping and wrecking delivered by chairman Rudd was surely only matched, perhaps surpassed, by the unrelenting stream of bitter bile the onion muncher delivered up during Malware's reign … and never no mind that Malware wrecked the NBN as the onion muncher had demanded …

On the upside, it also happens to suit the pond's desire to provide a bifurcated reading experience, with the first gobbet of Miranda the Devine hot to trot …

Indeed, indeed, the onion muncher is so over … 

Oh sorry, where were you PP, with all the residual bitterness and bile and the former chairman Rudd comparison?

Well that was a good laugh - there's nothing funnier than sore losers grumbling - but what does the Devine have as a comeback?

Oh dear, that's nice that talk of the onion muncher as a bubbling amateur, but to sell his soul to Voldemort? It left the pond in a Potterish twitter … so what sayeth PP in her last gobbet?

Oh that's infinitely rich, coming as it does from this association, this rich partnership of haters …

… but now such is the serendipity of the pond's cut and paste madness, Miranda the Devine has the last word, and it turns out, the last laugh, and she even pours cold water on rewarding the wreckers ...

Game on?

Indeed, it's game on, and long may the fighting feud between Petulant Peta and Miranda the Devine continue … 

Take a gander at all the preliminary bouts ...

….with some assuring the pond the feud has the chance to reach the exalted status of Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier, and might yet produce a rumble in the jungle of Surry Hills …

In all this, the intoxicated pond suffered from blurred vision and a much diminished brain, and so sadly news of the latest climate science denialism and the work of the Donald has been much diminished, but the pond will always settle for a few cartoons as a nightcap ...


  1. Peta Credlin: "[Turnbull] The ultimate carpetbagger who offered himself to Labor before standing as a Liberal,..."

    Can one thereby assert that "the Liberals" have about zero judgement of people and less than zero political acumen. But then, maybe the Libs just don't have somebody as capable of recognising a fellow carpetbagger as Gra Richardson.

    Peta again: "There's claims the public service cut off phones and computers to ministers that were against him, in order to cripple their ability to canvass support."

    "There's claims" ? By whom to whom, when and how ? And "the public service cut off phones ..". Now that is a truly serious claim, so I hope Peta has more substantial evidence for that than is common or usual amongst Fox "after darkers", including her own dishonourable self.

    And then we have The Devine: "...ScoMo is an instinctive social conservative ... who won't have to be told to "chuck Safe Schools in the bin" for instance."

    Que ? The Fed Gov stopped financing 'Safe Schools' way back in 2017 - so how exactly will the PM - which is an office in the Fed Gov in case Miranda has forgotten - "chuck Safe Schools in the bin" ? Has the entire herpetarium gone loco and turned into blind-sided delcons ?

  2. GB, there might be claims about public servants and wire cutters, but no possible substance. No public service department does its own ICT any more - it's all been contracted out, so if (and it's a big if) members found it difficult to canvass support (have they not heard of mobile phones?), they should be looking at whither those ICT contacts went.

    Dorothy, had you seen the last weeks tabloid coverage, instead of just the weekend's, you would have hastily retaken the pledge. In the absence of any bona fide journalist, the Terror basically gave their pin-up girl free rein. We probably all remember our wilder days, how after a night of really tying one on, you'd throw up so much that in the end there was nothing left but a thin stream of digestive juices? That's what Sharri was like by Friday - page after page of projectile vomiting had left her with nothing but a trickle of acrid yellow bile. Hopefully she had someone to hold back her hair and keep track of her shoes, but either way, that stylish leather dress is ruined. Gave a whole new meaning to "yellow journalism".

    A warning to all of us.

    1. My thought FD was that this was just another one of those reptile dishonest dodges: Peta isn't herself actually making the claim, she's just mentioning it - in passing as it were - so she can't be asked to produce any actual evidence. In the meantime, the "claims" having been publicised in the "non-fake" press, well then it must be obvious to every committed wingnut that the claim is true and no additional "evidence" needs to be produced.

      I think this is a well established American wingnut ploy, much used by Trump.

      Otherwise, having once been an ICT person (only we called it ADP back then) for a Commonwealth department (Health, actually) I'm kinda saddened to hear that there are no such persons nowadays - though basically, I expect that all of my contemporaries would be retired, or maybe deceased, by now.

    2. Frank, I used to work with that piece of shit Sharri. Nothing worse than than sitting through the Kennedy Awards (best of? NSW journos awards night) a couple of weeks ago when she got journo of the year. We were booing and carrying on during her pathetic, long-winded speech ... and she didn't give a fuck.

    3. Dear sweet long absent lord, someone who worked with Sharri? Do not pass go, head direct to the pond Hall of Fame ...

  3. "Coming out of this torrid time, i hope there's a fairer assessment of Tony Abbott and his achievements".

    Oh god, what a great weekend this has been.

    Have a look at any David Pope cartoon you utter twerp. See the grinning little rat figure in red speedos chewing through wires, removing bricks, plugging up sewer lines?

    THAT is the fair assessment of the Wrecker-in-Chief.

    And he's still there, skulking at the rear as people mouth "new leaf, fresh team, new energy" to any microphone held in front of them.

    Oh yes, it's been a wonderful weekend. And I suspect there are lots more to come.

    1. Endless summer, vc, we are in the days of endless summer (maybe literally !).


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