Friday, August 10, 2018

In which dashing Donners and the meretricious Merritt conspire to produce a ripper Friday ...

Friday is often a dull day at reptile HQ, and the pond even contemplated echoing the Vice story suggesting punters take the piss by demanding portraits of the Queen and consort Phil, and a copy of the flag from their MP,  as echoed at the Graudian here

It would match the pond's desire to collect all the expensively glossy pamphlets issued by the Inner West Council explaining why rates had to rise like a rocket, and then arrange a burning in front of the new bureaucratic layer installed as a result of the delusional behaviour of the NSW government. 

You know, the story about how council amalgamations would result in huge efficiencies and a reduction in costs … with only one set of glossy pamphlets now required for many more council areas to explain the glorious efficiencies that led to the explosion in the rates being levied.

But there was no need for such frolics, because dashing Donners was at hand and he delivered, in his usual dashing way, a Friday ripper … and better still, it was blessed with the Lobbecke of the day and so was fully cult certified and reptile approved ...

Why does the pond find this so vastly amusing? Well it was there at the get go, in the header, with the notion that Catholics on the march represent the "forces of reason."

Do they get to be so reasonable from munching on human flesh and sipping on human blood?

Better still, Donners drags in that fundamentalist bigot and homophobe Margaret Court, as one of the "forces of reason" ...

The question the pond asks these days is whether Donners has a key on the computer, and a program installed, that assembles all his favourite words into a new column for the day?

The pond can't begin to count the number of times it's reported on a Donners' rant full of paranoia, fear and loathing … dressed up as the "forces of reason" …

It really is almost as funny as demanding a portrait of the Queen to hang in the outdoor dunny …but sadly all good things must come to an end …

The IPA will save the day? So Gina's money is working to save Western Civilisation? Can Western Civilisation end up like Gina's family wars then?

Ah, not to worry, good old seminars will save the day, and confuse and conflate "liberal" with the fundamentalist bigotry of deluded tykes on the march … or perhaps buying the book that Donners is still flogging will save Western Civilisation, or at least help Donners' bank account …

And now, to prove that the pond is just as irritated by the Saudis as by Catholics, what a ripper cartoon the infallible Pope delivered today, with more genuine popery - rather than the faux Donners' kind - available here

But enough of complimentary women - don't want to get the Sydney Anglicans excited by that submissive moose - because there's more …

Yes, the meretricious Merritt was also on the case, and in full Catholic mode … because whatever happened to the good old days when the tykes could consign gays to eternal hellfire and cast them out as sinners and stigmatise and persecute them and ban them from jobs and humiliate them and otherwise have fun, while distracting from a little kiddie fiddling in the privacy of the priory …

But hang on, hang on, if silencing alternative opinions is an offensive affront to human rights, then isn't the barking mad Donners being offensive demanding that alternative opinions, dissenting views on fundamentalist bigoted religions, be swept from the land in the name of some mystical Western Civilisation?

Isn't confusing human rights with the rights of Catholics to go on being fundamentalist, bigoted and homophobic a reason for the pond's profound depression?

How silly of the pond …

Indeed a supreme silence is being imposed … which is why Porteous never shuts up about it, and the reptiles never shut up about it, and dashing Donners prattles on, and the meretricious Merritt joins in, and before you know it the entire herpetarium is an uproar, and the agitation spreads to the four corners of the land, and soon enough their ABC features it on The Drum, and the imposed silence becomes so deafening that the noises from the whining, barking dog next door to the pond are lost in the din ...

A chilling, silencing effect, so chilling and silencing that Porteous has dined out on it ever since, and told the tale of his suffering up and down the land, and had it faithfully regurgitated by reptiles more times than the pond can count …

Well enough of all that, because Rowe also delivered a ripper this day, and made the pond's Friday complete, with more wondrous Rowe here

Yes, it doesn't get much better than this, provided the pond remembers to order that photo of the Queen and a dinkum flag it can fly on dinkum clean Aussie Coal Day, Oi, Oi, Oi …only dinkum clean Oz coal can save the reef, just ask the polluting Adani … 

Oh and mustn't forget to arrange the burning of those pamphlets in the foyer of what used to be called Marrickville Council, before the rates exploded like a rocket and soared off to the moon ...


  1. "Catholics on the march represent the forces of reason" Yes, a bunch of people who kneel down together and repeat a creed, punish nonconformity and try to enshrine their rather odd view in legislation - the very definition of enlightenment.

    On another issue, it was with a great deal of trepidation that I chose to listen to a 2GB podcast, however, it can be instructive to see the reptiles turn on one another.

  2. Talking about "parliamentarians’ real obligation to Australian voters", how about this wonderful thing that, courtesy of the RACV magazine, I've only just discovered:

    Did you know ?

    The Parliament of Victoria has been serving traditional afternoon tea to the public since 1924. Sessions are held on non-Parliamentary sitting days in the elegant Strangers Corridor from Monday to Friday between 2:30pm and 4:00pm. A glass of sparkling wine, scones with jam, cream, pastries and tea and coffee are served for $47.

    Who knew ? I certainly didn't. And from 1924 already - three years before the Aussie Feds moved to Canberra.

    "... the story about how council amalgamations would result in huge efficiencies and a reduction in costs"

    You lot up the the north never learn anything from other horrible examples, do you ? Haven't you ever heard of Jeff Kennett ? Sale of the SECV and council amalgamations - yep, two enormous successes.

    Donners: "One of the foundations of Western civilisation is an education system based on rationality and reason..."

    Yair, my only question is: when are we ever going to get one of those "education systems" ? When I was schooled - way back more than 60 years ago I grant, and thus long before the rise of "political correctness" - education was mostly based on patriotism (salute the flag and worship the Royals daily) and making sure we didn't say rude words in public, and especially not in books or on stage - which, of course, was just the 'political correctness' of those benighted times. But, at least in my upper middle class and very new High School (as we called them back then) we were actually taught about the Tasmanian "black line". Anybody else remember that ?

    "The pond can't begin to count the number of times it's reported on a Donners' rant full of paranoia, fear and loathing ..."

    Ah but, butt DP, what's the point of having an approved catechism unless you can hear it repeated again and again - until it becomes meaningless aural pap that is no longer meaningful to a human brain. AKA "semantic satiation" - a psychological phenomenon in which repetition causes a word or phrase to temporarily lose meaning for the listener, who then perceives the speech as repeated meaningless sounds. [ ]

    And not only to "the listener" but also to the reader (if there's any left at this stage).

    But now, not only ... but also:

    Meretricious quoting Porteous: "...I felt it was incumbent upon me to explain thechurch's teaching," Porteous told the conference. "I felt I had every right to express the teachings of the church."
    Tasmania's Anti-Discrimination Commission disagreed and found tat Porteous and his fellow bishops had a case to answer.

    They're going to keep on and on and on repeating that lie, aren't they. But then, I guess lying is the only way they can work.

    Just for the sake of truth, beauty and the GrueBleen way, the Tassie Anti-Discrimination Commission didn't at any time find that Porteous and his bishops didn't have a right to explain the church's teachings, what it considered was that they shouldn't use clearly insulting and offensive terms in doing so.

    In short, stay Christian and charitable and courteous and lay off the gratuitous offensiveness - a message that it appears wingnuts and their lackeys and fellow travellers just can't take in at all.

  3. Imagine being the person who totters down to the newsagent to hand over $2.70 to read this drivel.

  4. I don't know that holding up the slave-owning Jefferson as an authority on human rights is a good idea.

    1. No, no mate; all the reptiles implicitly believe in "private vice, public benefits". Even those who have never heard of Bernard Mandeville and the Fable of the Bees.

      What Sally Hemings and her six children made of all this, I know not.

  5. In the case of the dastardly donners never mind that if anyone took the use of rationality and reason at all seriously they could not, if they were at all honest, possibly subscribe to any of the nonsense promoted by the christian church, especially in the case of "catholics" its bullshit magisterium


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