In which the Major goes to war with the bromancer, the Oreo has kind words for Hansonism, and the Caterist? Well worth an injection of Caterism in the hope he gets Cratered ...

 

 

 

 

See more of Dom Pettottet?

 

See less, see less! 

 

Head off to Facebook for flag waving and more of Dom? See less, see less, the pond never touches the stuff ...

 

 

 

 

 

If you question climate science? And just five years ago when the science had been long in? And all the rest was just horse paste? And all the rest of the very Trumpy stuff? See less, see less! 

Say what? The Opus Dei connection should get a mention?

 

 

Oh see less, see less. But what about the younger brother? Isn't that just too tacky and weird?

 

 

Yep, too tacky and too Catholic weird, see less, see less, and yet the reptiles are in a triumphant mood today, and no doubt Matt Kean will be extra kean to celebrate the news, and join his likely new leader in worthy scepticism  ...

 

So it's on with the usual for a Monday, though not before apologising to correspondents for missing some big stories, and thanking them for crucial updates ... 

Now, on with the Major, missing in action last Monday, but at last reporting for duty, suh ...

 

 

It's going to be a full day, especially as the reptiles have dived deep on the matter of the subs ...

 

 

And being part of the team, the Major knew how to lead ... when in doubt and with no subs to attack China, why then, dive deep and attack the ABC, that'll teach dictator Xi a lesson ...

 

Around this point, the pond began to wonder what is the point of the Major? Has he completely missed the bromancer? Is he so busy watching the cardigan wearers he hasn't the first clue what the reptiles' top expert has been scribbling?

The pond pressed on, now letting out sundry gases, filling with water, and feeling a deep sinking sense of something majorly wrong ...

 

 

 

Still no mention of the bromancer and his conclusions? Media consumers expect the Major to rabbit on about the Graudian, and the cardigan wearers, but expect more when they've forked over hard cash to become part of Chairman Rupert's satanic cult ...

 

 

Astonishing! An entire column and not one mention of the bromancer, banished, silenced, sent to coventry ...

For the record, here's the last few offerings by the bromancer, outrageously ignored by the Major, yet faithfully regurgitated in the pond ...

 

 

Poor bromancer, shamefully ignored by the Major and reduced to being a reptile voice in the wilderness ...

Speaking of being banished, the Oreo this day reveals that her form of recovering feminism sees her find sisterhood with Hansonism ...

 

 

 

 

 

Ah yes the reformed, recovering feminist crying freedum for bigots ... and what's even weirder is the old notion of trotting out the scold's bridle, as if Hanson has ever been silent, or silenced ...

 

 

 

So that's where reformed, recovering feminism gets you, but the reptiles knew the real problem, and so shoved in a click bait video obligingly labelled Social Media by what passes as the reptile graphic department these days ...

 

 

 

 

 

Of course the pond neutered the offering, but felt the need to leave it in, because whenever the pond hears "cancel culture" it reaches for its Glock ... little knowing that, after even more pleading for Pauline by the reformed, recovering feminist, an even worse insertion was to follow ...

 

 

What the fuck? The reformed, recovering feminist in company with the bigot and the dog botherer, and yet more talk of "cancel culture", and suddenly the pond finds the Glock now in hand ...

 

 

Say what? The Oreo still considers herself a feminist? Perhaps the school of feminism devoted to Oreos, as revealed by Colbert?

 

 

 

Well it's more amusing than keeping the company of bigots ...

And so to the wrap up, just because the expert in the movement of flood waters in quarries is at it again ...

 

 

The moral question of our age?

Maybe in the Catholic Boys' daily, and here the pond must pause for a moment just to record some of which it will be missing this day, which it will have to leave up to correspondents ...

 

 

 

Yes, the tykes are out and about this day in the Catholic boys' daily, and simplistic Simon is on hand to ease the pond's disquiet, because who better than the reptiles and the Chairman and the speaker in tongues to an imaginary friend to take down dictator Xi, and so settle the pond's disquiet?

Now thoroughly alarmed, the pond returned to the Caterist, in the hope of catching Covid and thereby ending it all, though come to think of it, spending time in quarries with the Caterist trying to discern the movement of flood waters might also do the trick ...

 

 

 

Is it wrong of the pond to hope that some day someone in the Menzies Research Centre might report to work with Covid, and the pond might then read about the Caterist going down with the bug?

Possibly it's a bit mean, but the pond is still on the lookout for additions to its death wish mob ... and the Caterist should by rights be a prime candidate ...

You see, in aged-care homes, spreading the flu through the corridors is a bit like wandering through with a hatchet, or a needle armed with arsenic, a little less spectacular perhaps, with just a cough here, a cough there, but just as lethal ...

Naturally the Caterist is on the side of the lethal, and the deadly, which is why the pond wishes a little might happen to pass his way ...

 

Yes, this Dean should be worthy of a goodly dose too, but what's the funniest thing about this? Well it puts the Caterist firmly in the camp of the Byron Bay mob, the anti-vax, just take the zinc and horse paste crew ... ratbag libertarians and Nimbin hippies wanting to preserve their bodies, and giving the graphics department a chance to join in ... yes, it was only a few gobbets ago, but this is the company the Caterist is keeping ...

 

 

 

Yes, don't you worry about some ratbag turning up to work ready to spread their delusions along with sundry bugs, though with a bit of luck it might just happen at the Menzies research centre ...

 

 

Oh just fuck off, with your bullshit libertarian claptrap, but with the pond's best wishes and the hope that you might still cop a dose of something ... 

Luckily, the pond is well over its sovereign citizen, first and twelfth amendment auditor jag, and has had enough of the loonacy, without adding a loonatic Caterist to its logarithms ...

And so at last to relief, and a change of pace, with a double barrel Rowe this day, returning the pond to where it started off, and with more Rowe always to hand here ...