Tuesday, October 19, 2021

In which the pond returns for a feast of reptiles ... or at least a binge on the usual motley crew of no hopers, dropkicks and losers ...

 

 

That was the longest, unendurable outage the pond has endured in quite some time …

It was, of course, a lighting strike, which fried a key box, though bizarrely the fuse didn't pop. The pond wasn't the only one to suffer  the fate. There were at least 25 or 30 others in the area.

Presumably Telstra lied to all the others, in the way that it dissembled to the pond, with blather about "routine NBN maintenance, she'll be ready in an hour, trust me, I'm in the Philippines and completely and instantly in touch with the local situation."

Luckily the pond now knows that NBN installers recommend and use AussieBroadband for connectivity. Better service and lower prices. Less of the Indian or Phillippines call centre routine when responding to the local situation. Better than TPG, way better than Telstra.

Sounds interesting, and how good that should turn out to be the best feature of Telstra service … so useless that they were forced to call on an NBN installer of some experience, recommending to the pond not to go near them with a barge pole, and offering a tempting alternative.

The installer also noted that slowly but surely the network is trying to do away with the horrors of Malware, with old connections being ripped up and fibre to the home installed. The pond knows this because it had to cut dead an alleged friend, a wretch boasting about his new found speed, even more vulgar than if he'd been boasting about the mushroom shape of his penis.

Unfortunately HFC is going to be about the last to go, but it will go, and the Malware solution will be remembered by vulgar youff looking back and wondering what the fuck were they taking?

As for the rest, the pond can now barely remember the horror. It's years since the pond relied on FTA for entertainment, and dimly, vaguely the pond remembers flicking between women's cricket - some sort of snake-bashing season was in play - and vintage James Bond films that were terrible the first time the pond saw them, and which haven't aged gracefully.

In From Russia with Love, the pond was astonished to see an entire gypsy camp scene it had entirely erased from mind, complete with belly dancing and the dancer's ability to move the tummy about, though these days the demographic for that sort of stuff must have moved from 12 year old boys to eight year olds …

The pond kept murmuring the horror, the horror, but it had read and reread all the New Yorkers it had downloaded, and there's only so much that ABC News radio can do to satisfy the soul …

It was almost as if Telstra, in a fiendish and cunning ploy, had decided this was the best way to make the pond appreciate the company of the reptiles

Good luck with that ... because nary a thought of the reptiles passed the pond mind for days, and oh bliss, oh poop, what frabjous joy …

It was only when Media Watch turned up last night to ravage News Corp and its shameless hypocrisy and its well trained denialist readership, and that fatuous face of monstrous dissembling, aka Joe Hildebrand, that the pond realised that the reptiles were still at it, and still up themselves ...

And sure enough, look what turned up on the front page of the digital tree killer edition this day ...


 

 

Yes, the reptiles were still pocketing cash in the paw from the Freedumb, Freedumb man, but look, up at the top of the page was the bouffant one and soothing words about net zero and exports, and don't you worry about a thing.

It was with a sigh of relief that the pond noted that the bromancer was top of the digital page, with quite a different header ...

 

 

 

 

Inanity!? That's more like the reptile spirit of yore, more like the sorrowful sighing of the Bolter on Media Watch last night ...

But then when the pond got into the very short text, what a tragedy ...

 


 

Just a video featuring the parrot, and fond memories of the onion muncher, and a pox on both sides, and a little celebration of dearly beloved coal, still doing its best for humanity and the planet and Canucks?

It was solid enough, the pond supposed, but it almost felt a criminal shame to waste a catch-up Rowe on it ...

 


 

Ah that's more like it, the fucking 'roos are loose in the top paddock again.

But then with the final bromancer gobbet, the pond felt a little disheartened ...




 

 

Ah, a click bait video with a tortured SloMo and blather about a beneficial fiction. 

Yep, lie and dissemble about it, and strut about dissing others, in the Joe Hildebrand manner, and you have the new reptile beneficial fiction formula ...

So the pond turned to look at what else was on offer, in the usual reptile way, below the fold ...

 


 

 

Passing strange. The Caterist on a Tuesday? But at least there was Jimbo Kirkby talking up nuking the planet, and there was the chance for the usual Groaning ...

The pond regrets it doesn't have time to go back and explore the lost four days, but there they went and here the Groaner is ...

 

 

Best of all, the Groaning started with a quiz ...


 

Did someone mention the dominator? Time to catch up with another Rowe ...

 

 


 

 

Ah yes, the pond had heard something about the Dominator running the country ... and telling SloMo what for ...

And what a great way to return to the reptiles, with the immortal Rowe doing all the hard yards and the pond able to set a simple quiz. Guess which colour hydrogen the Groaner would like?

 


 

Of course it was easy. Brown coal! The future is in decent, clean, innocent virginal brown coal ... it should have gone without saying ...

In one way, it's something of a tragedy. In the good old days, the Groaning could have just been about the usual climate science denialism, but now the poor thing is forced to consider arcane matters such as hydrogen ... but luckily nothing can touch the export power of innocent, clean, dinkum decent virginal Oz coal ...



 

 

Yes, for the love of the long absent lord, please remember sweet Oz coal, the brown as well as the black, and if you must, feel free to nuke the planet too ...

Golly Joe, it might be easy for a dissembling slime bag like you to slough it all off, but it's bloody hard for a Groaning old leopard to change its spots ...

 

 


 

 

And so to a quick aside. The pond only does it because there was a pointer at the top of the digital page, and the lizard Oz editorialist tied in with the reptile theme of the day ...

 


 

Ah the pond's favourite opener. Much has been done, but much remains to be done ...

But look, more nuking of the planet, while blathering about shrewd opportunities, and even a rustic rooned joke ...

In the Media Watch spirit, the pond took to the lizard Oz comments and to the pond's amazement, discovered there were only four, with the first being an echo of the bromancer's favourite form of analysis ...


 

 

Still nuking the planet, and just do it, and won't somebody think of the gas, and that's it? Sublime nuts.

Speaking of nuts, time to turn to the ancient Troy, sounding a tad exasperated ...

 

 

 

 

Wag the Dog? One of the pond's favourite movies, way better than being forced to endure ancient Bondage ...

But still the pond wondered what the fuss was all about, why the sudden need for speed on the part of the ancient Troy?

After all, News Corp, the reptiles and the lizard Oz have spent decades fucking over the planet ... in fact they were mentioned in Media Watch last night for their honourable service in the service of the denialist cause ...

 


 

And so on and so on, so why the sudden rush and the sudden anxiety, venerable, ancient Troy? Aren't Barners' mob just doing what News Corp has done for decades?



 

Yes, it's as if the serial offending of News Corp and the lizard Oz and assorted reptiles can just be swept under the rug, and we could all get on with it, if it weren't for the pesky Nats ...

 


 

Uh huh. So where were the reptiles who recognised the science and the need to take action? Why suddenly born out of bullshit artist Joe's navel ...

 


 

 

Oh just fuck off Joe, fuck right off ... and so to the final offering from ancient Troy, and it begins with the reptiles' favourite term of abuse, rent-seeking, as if the reptiles haven't been seeking rent for coal for decades, and now suddenly can't understand why Gina's pet, Barners, is out there still doing it ...

 


 

 

Um, actually Troy, there's still a power of bullshit coming from inside the house, from the bromancers, the Groaners, the Bolters and so on and so forth, but you have earned a catch-up Rowe ...

 

 


 

And so to the Caterist.

Yes, the pond on its return has over-done it, and this is will be an after-dinner mint too far, but fuck it, the pond went on the wagon for days on end, so let the flood waters in quarry man speak, and if it was a reptile hold over from Monday, where's the harm?



 

Now the pond doesn't have a quiz to go with the Caterist, but it does have a bet. What's the bet that before this tedious parade is done, the Riddster will score an honourable mention ... because that's what denialists in drag do ...


 

 

Yes, he's still the same old fuckwit, defending to the death the right to spread the horse paste hydroxy bullshyte ... but else could you expect from a man who spread an enormous amount of bullshit about the movement of flood waters in quarries and many other matters?

 

 

What a relief. That mention of Wuhan did at least give the pond a chance to prove it had been diligent and done some reading over the break.  

The New Yorker recently published a piece, The Mysterious Case of the Covid-19 Lab-leak Theory, currently outside the paywall, and spoiler alert, it ended this way ...

...For now, the battle between two theories rolls onward. As a friend said to me recently, “Why does it seem like we have to pick a side?” Both camps share a desire to understand the origins in order to prevent the emergence of the next pandemic. But, between them, there are some differences of emphasis.
The lab leakers tend to be more interested in biosecurity, transparency, and human hubris. They exhibit an admirable drive to follow the money, to upend centralized power, to overturn academic hierarchy, and to expose the injustices of oppressive governments. Some are China hawks. By and large, they have not done virus-hunting field or lab work.
On the natural-origin side, most people have done the kind of field and lab work that the W.I.V. pursued—and are regularly bowled over by nature’s endless diversity. They believe in scientific precedent, as opposed to uncertainties that have yet to be resolved. Many people in this camp have devoted their careers to conservation, biodiversity, and public health, and have been warning about a future pandemic for years. Spillovers most often happen because of land-use change, or human encroachment into previously wild places, which is happening on pretty much the entire planet, but particularly in areas that are developing rapidly, like south China and southeast Asia.
More than one virologist reminded me that nature is the best bioterrorist. It’s far more creative than humans are. With enough time, evolution is capable of anything we can imagine, and everything we can’t. “If you look at a platypus, you can very clearly realize that that’s not something somebody would have designed, right?” Andersen said. “Because it’s too absurd. It’s a bit of a disaster. But it works pretty well.” It occupies its own ecological niche. Some of the notable features of sars-CoV-2, Andersen said, make it “the platypus of coronaviruses.”
Still, humans have changed the equation. Calling viruses zoonotic obscures the role we play in their evolution, whether in the wilderness, a wet market, or a lab. What is an ecological niche when humans have their hands in everything? Nature’s staggering diversity includes human nature. Somehow, sars-CoV-2 found its ecological niche in us.

But that's enough of that, the pond's turf is morons of the simplistic Sharri and flooding Caterist kind, and so to the last gobbet of the day ... and yes, the pond was worried for a nanosecond, but is now ready to collect its bet. 

Come on down, Riddster ...



 

Actually, it would be seriously inappropriate to consider the Caterist as human. Perhaps something of an intellectual platypus? If nature hadn't invented him, would anyone imagine he could exist, at least outside the sheltered world of the government funded, cash in the paw MRC?

And so to a final Rowe for the day, with the chance to do a catch-up always available here ... with the pond hesitant to say that's good to be back. Perhaps just leave it at, it's truly reptile to be back ...







 

11 comments:

  1. "Roll on, roll off nuclear power stations"

    Just spat porridge all over my beloved laptop - thanks letter writer!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why does talk of SMRs always remind me of the Simpson's monorail skit.

      Pay your money and a shiny new power plant will be delivered to your door ten years from next Thursday. It's even made by the people that brought you the Trent 900 - what could possibly go wrong? (In fairness, no one died on QF32 and the plane isn't off-limits for a couple of thousand years)

      Delete
  2. Just catching up with last Sunday:

    Well, Chad, we Punitive Ponders would gladly associate you with Edwin Chadwick if indeed you've ever done anything notable about reforming the Poor Laws.

    But as to Prattling Polony, of course he got it right: Betty II is just an aged woman, hanging around because Britain has no voluntary euthanasia law and nobody pays any attention to women, do they. Whereas Charles is a man and heir to a mighty throne: he certainly commands the attention of colonials, doesn't he ?

    And talking about women, I watched 4-Corners last night, which I seldom do. So, is Merkel the German Berejiklian, or is Gold-standard Gladys the Australian Merkel ?

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  3. "In From Russia with Love, the pond was astonished to see an entire gypsy camp scene it had entirely erased from mind..."

    Ah, but, butt, the real question is: how many people remember the alien space battle in 'Life of Brian' ?

    Pardon me for babbling, but I too had been reduced to FTA and it just keeps getting worse and worse ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually GB, the pond remembers those pesky aliens, but can proudly reveal it has no evidence whatsoever to mind that Roger Moore ever appeared in a Bond movie.

      As for FTA, do all those meerkat ads really mean that people are dumb enough to fall for that particular grift?

      Delete
    2. "No one in this world, so far as I know ... has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people." The big problem is that intelligence has to actually be used, and humanity isn't very good at that.

      Aw c'mon, DP, after the "passing" of the Scottish Bond, Roger Moore was the perfect replacement to personify the writings of Fleming. After George Lazenby anyway - and just think: Diana Rigg and Joanna Lumley as well, all for the price of one - but only once.

      Delete
  4. So, via the Bro, here's the reptile pharasaism yet again: "Whether Australia reaches net zero by 2050 or 2060, whether it reduces emissions by, say, a further 8 per cent or a further 5 per cent in a given period will have absolutely zero effect on global climate change. This is especially the case given many of our emission reductions involve ceasing activities that will then be taken up by other nations with slacker environmental safeguards."

    So there it is, we just have to go on committing grievous sins, because if we didn't, some others (who ?) would just commit worse ones. For how many centuries, and by how many transgressors has that "justification" been used ? It's almost a case of 'salvational cause amorality', isn't it ? [ https://www.abc.net.au/religion/evil-acts-for-a-good-cause-why-it-is-dangerous-to-be-assured-of-/10098638 ]

    The other thing though, is that the Bro is using typical 'sleight of hand': that if anything we do doesn't have immediate beneficial effect, then it isn't worth doing at all. So even the thought that our pitiful contribution to atmospheric CO2 doesn't, like methane, fade away fairly quickly, but goes on accumulating in the atmosphere for millennia is of absolutely no concern. Nor is the thought that by ourselves reducing emissions we can help show others how to do it, and help them along, but also the idea that we might even help develop and practicalise that "technology that does not exist yet", like Twiggy's "green hydrogen" for instance.

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  5. Didn't the Groaner have a great day; she's exhibiting another very effective reptile trope: "always look on the dark side ..." So she determinately looks on the dark side of "green" hydrogen - unless we can ever get it to "fuse", I guess. So, here is her major contribution: "Note here that green hydrogen takes up a great deal of (additional) land and the renewable energy installations are relatively short-lived and create a disposal problem."

    Oh my "takes up a great deal of (additional) land" she says, as though Australia is running perilously short of "land". Well, maybe we could just take up some of that extra land that all the Pacific islands are acquiring, or so our exceptionally well-informed reptiles assure us. However, I think she might be assuming that the only renewable to be used to power the electrolysis of water (raw sea-water, that is, using the Stanford slow corrosion electrodes) is photovoltaic, using many thousands of hectares of solar panels that will eventually have to be recycled.
    [Stanford electrolysis: https://www.greencarcongress.com/2019/03/20190319-dai.html ]

    But as any Victorian knows, a sea-based wind generation farm out near the East Gippsland coast (where the wind changes between strong and 'gale force' almost 24 by 365.24) would be just great. And we already have a grid connection with Gippsland for our own consumption. And we already have a port or two down that way that could be expanded (and deepened) for large-scale sea export of bulk liquid ammonia. Eg Hastings.

    So yeah, spot on as always, Groaner, just about on a par with the 'flood waters run free' man. But perhaps we could point her to a certain blog named Loon Pond where, back on August 31, 2019, one of the bloggers posted this:

    "But how about good ol' Ted O'Brien, eh: 'You can't contend there's an existential threat to life as we know it due to climate change and then oppose the cleanest form of industrial-scale energy generation the world has seen'.

    No, indeed you can't, so I'm looking forward to Ted going in to bat for a really clean, and quick, and cheap, form of transportable, dispatchable energy that can power gas appliances, motor cars, jet planes and both small (portable even) and large scale (GigaWatt even) generators: hydrogen. Using wind or solar energy via the Stanford method of electrolysis of sea water combined with the CSIRO ammonia technique for storage and large scale transport (extracted via catalyst and membrane) with only H2O (aka water) as its exhaust product. Hydrogen (combustion in various forms or fuel cells etc) is the answer.
    "
    See: https://blog.csiro.au/hyper-for-hydrogen-our-world-first-carbon-free-fuel/

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    Replies
    1. "renewable energy installations are relatively short-lived and create a disposal problem."

      Putting aside the facts that solar panels are recyclable

      https://reneweconomy.com.au/australias-first-solar-panel-recycling-plant-swings-into-action/

      and that the published lifetimes are basically for depreciation purposes with panels continuing to function with some impairment beyond those dates, it's worth looking at waste generated by legacy technology if the Dame is so concerned about the environment.

      https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-03-10/coal-ash-has-become-one-of-australias-biggest-waste-problems/10886866#:~:text=Every%20year%20Australian%20coal%2Dfired,a%20year%20for%20every%20Australian.

      12 million tons each year, mainly dumped in ash dams on site. Here's one at Lake Munmorah

      https://www.google.com.au/maps/place/33%C2%B010'42.9%22S+151%C2%B031'42.9%22E/@-33.1782752,151.5186506,3530m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m14!1m7!3m6!1s0x6b72d8e4956cdc6f:0x5017d681632dae0!2sLake+Munmorah+NSW+2259!3b1!8m2!3d-33.1923043!4d151.5749274!3m5!1s0x0:0x0!7e2!8m2!3d-33.1785861!4d151.5285763?hl=en-GB&authuser=0

      We have been all over this subject previously, but then again the reptiles rarely come up with anything new so we are destined to revisit this endlessly.

      Delete
    2. "if the Dame is so concerned about the environment."

      Oh my, would that it were so, Bef. But no, she's only concerned with "looking on the dark side" even if that means keeping her eyes permanently closed. At least they'll have her mind for company.

      But really, most of the masses couldn't recognise rational sense if they ever heard it - all they want is for their side to say something, anything, sensible or not, so that they can believe it and use it to own "the wokies".

      Delete
  6. The C(r)ater(ous) one: "...people can't be programmed as easily as computers." Oh yes they can, Nicky, and you are a prime example. For instance: "Last year Facebook users were being censored for suggesting the virus might have come from the Wuhan Institute of Virology. Now almost everybody concedes it probably did..."

    You are certainly readily "programmable", Nick, but not many others are such faithful believers in every little thing Sharri spouts. And "Facebook users ...censored" ? How exactly was that done and to whom ? A handful or two of wingnuts perhaps ?

    But then consider The New Yorker: "More than one virologist reminded me that nature is the best biochemist. It's far more creative than humans are ..." Yep, spot on: "Nature" crafted humankind, by far the most life destructive 'virus' ever to be released on this planet. And doing our very best to depopulate it.

    Once upon a time, a disease like Covid-19 would have taken quite a while to seep out of its native environment, but now we humans transport such things very rapidly - from the date of the Back Death plague onwards. The human race probably only survived because in our early itinerant 'hunter-gatherer' phase we lived in small isolated groups. (how long ? Maybe 100,000 years or more). Just look up what happened as recently as the 1860s when a large number of previously relatively isolated folks - mainly from backwoods farming communities - were concentrated into temporary "barracks" in the American civil war.

    Strangely though, we quickly "forget" such things - was just contemplating that almost forgotten horror, tuberculosis of which an estimated 10 million fell ill in 2020 and an estimated 1.5 million people died. How come nobody mentions that ? Did TB come from Wuhan too ?
    https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/tuberculosis

    ReplyDelete

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