The pond woke up today wildly excited.
Today there would be acts of contrition in abundance in the lizard Oz ...
The reptiles would make a mockery of Cam Wilson's shockingly cynical piece for Crikey a few days ago, News Corp's net zero by 2050 push is what climate change denial looks like in 2021 (might be paywall affected).
...The details of the campaign show it is even smaller than it first appears. News Corp papers and Sky will campaign for two weeks in October. The Australian will be excluded from the campaign, and “dissenting voices” — a euphemism for the staunchest climate change denialists who inhabit many of its top perches — will be expected to “reframe” their arguments. (It remains to be seen how figures such as Rowan Dean will reframe their complete denial of man-made climate change.) Sky’s participation will be limited to a documentary exploring the idea of net zero carbon emissions.
The choice of Joe Hildebrand as the face of the campaign provides some insight into the direction of the campaign, says writer and consultant Ketan Joshi.
“His previous work on climate change does exactly what a centre-right campaign like this would be best at: decrying both sides as ‘hysterical’ while failing to propose anything meaningful or substantial,” he wrote in RenewEconomy.
During the bushfires of December 2019, the News Corp columnist warned against discussing climate change in the midst of a climate emergency. While Australians were fleeing for their lives, Hildebrand argued that they shouldn’t have to concede much to battle climate change: “We need to find an economic path for Australia that can give working people the same quality of life — or just the capacity to survive day to day — that our abundance of fossil fuels currently offers.”
The announcement also makes clear that when it comes to climate change News Corp continues to act as more of a player than an impartial observer.
Nine’s Zoe Samios and Rob Harris report that its management briefed the government about the campaign, much like how a government would usually brief a publication about its campaign.
Foolishly, stupidly optimistic pond.
The lizard Oz will be excluded from the "campaign"?
But surely first up would be Lloydie, the most expert and cunning climate science denialist of them all, celebrated by Roger Beale in Climate Change and 'The Australian's' Graham Lloyd ...
Alas and alack, Lloydie was silent this day.
But this is Wednesday, Dame Slap day. Surely Dame Slap would begin the day with an act of atonement, and she has much to atone for, including her fellow travelling with "Lord" Monckton, and his nonsense about the UN using climate science to establish a world government by Xmas ...
She might also apologise for donning the MAGA cap and heading out to celebrate the victory of the mango Mussolini, and climate denialist clown in chief ...
Foolish, naïve pond ... today Dame Slap preferred to join Killer Creighton and other reptiles urging on the killing fields ...
Santa Claus? How silly is that? Everyone knows that SloMo speaks in tongues to an imaginary friend, and it certainly isn't Santa Claus - anyone who talks of that pagan bearded loon is surely a heretic destined for an eternity in hellfire - and besides instead of the reptiles wanting to raid the AAP's picture library for a completely out of season reference - surely Xmas needn't come in September? - they could have gone with that most recent and affecting offering ...
Dame Slap could have followed up with a joke ... borrowing from Crikey here ...
…we’re not sure what the following illustrates: the family pic that Morrison used to mark Father’s Day — the Morrison clan gathered around a dove — was cropped from a picture taken at the “i4give Day” remembrance service for four young people — Antony, Angelina and Sienna Abdallah, and their cousin Veronique Sakr — killed by a car. Another choice rendered all the more creepy by Morrison’s decision to conceal it.
How creepy, downright sick and cynical, and weird and wonderful is that?
But no, Dame Slap is perhaps the most IPA schooled and recalcitrant of the reptiles, and once she gets an idea in her bonnet - bring on the killing fields - there's no stopping her ...
At this point the reptiles decided to interrupt Dame Slap just as she was warming up, with a clickbait video of a beaming SloMo ...
The pond defanged that, and turned to the next short gobbet, before the reptiles flung all sorts of irrelevant story links in as a distraction ...
North Korea? Oh surely not, surely he's been a brave and capable leader, front and centre in everything, as celebrated by Wilcox ...
Sorry, sorry, back to Dame Slap, padding out her column with a tweet ... and beginning with the startling news that the deluded one, speaking in tongues to a bewildered country, is apparently talking a good game ...
Of course there were other stats and stories the Sharmanic one excluded from his tweet ...
5,000 dead? A half a million saved the pleasure of knowing if they might suffer from the effects of long Covid?
Phsaw, gad sir or IPA chairman madam, these are nothing, not when it comes to the reptile killing fields ...
Of course there are heretics who will head off to the Graudian for alternative views ...
NSW emergency departments face a crisis? Health workers under stress? Phsaw, gad sir or IPA chairman madam, mere trivia, up against the clarion call of Dame Slap to crank up the killing fields. After all, if she can help kill the planet, where's the harm in a few thousand bodies?
The pond left in that click bait video clip - rendered harmless and unplayable by screen cap - because it features Comrade Dan, close kissing cousin of Satan herself, and everyone knows the reptiles' Saturday matinee rules. When the chief villain turns up, he must be hissed ... oh, and Stasi ...
Indeed, indeed, let the wretches explain why they didn't want the killing fields in their state. Let the secessionist explain why people roam wild and free and might even get to see a footy grand final. And please let this be the last short Dame Slap gobbet, because surely she's established her Killer Creighton credentials. She might not bang on in a Freudian way about her fear of masks, but in every other way she's in tune with the reptiles' hive mind blood lust ...
And with that done the pond turned to survey the rest of the reptile offerings this day ...
Talk about dismal offerings, and the pond knew it had only one choice, it must join the armchair warrior in his endless search for a war ...
Well the pond sent another message to the furniture salesman's office phone after yet another spamming, and decided that war with China by Xmas would provide even more novelty and distraction ... bring it on, bromancer, make it so ...
Ah indeed, indeed. Luckily the perfidious Chinese haven't the first clue about drones and missiles and such like and wouldn't have the first notion about imposing heavy costs over the horizon, and for some obscure, unrelated reason, the pond had just recently watched the first ten minutes of Dr Strangelove, thanks to Sony putting it up on YouTube.
Of course the pond has the full movie on the Plex, but sometimes the pond is lazy and goes with what is put in front of it, including ...
Ripper: Very well, now, listen to me carefully. The base is being put on condition red. I want this flashed to all sections immediately.
Mandrake: Condition red, sir. Yes. Jolly good idea, keeps the men on their toes.
Ripper: Group Captain, I'm afraid this is not a exercise.
Mandrake: Not an exercise, sir?
Ripper: I shouldn't tell you this, Mandrake, but you're a good officer and you have a right to know. It looks like we're in a shooting war.
Mandrake: Oh, hell. Are the Russians involved sir?
Ripper: Mandrake, that's all I've been told. It just came in on the Red Phone. My orders are for this base to be sealed tight, and that's what I mean to do: seal it tight. Now, I want you to transmit plan R, R for Robert, to the wing. Plan R for Robert.
Mandrake:
Is it that bad sir?
Ripper: It looks like it's pretty hairy.
Mandrake: Yes sir. Plan R for Robert, sir.
Ripper: Now, last, and possibly most important, I want all privately owned radios to be immediately impounded.
Mandrake: Yes sir.
Ripper: They might be used to issue instructions to saboteurs. As I have previously arranged, Air Police will have lists of all owners and I want every single one of them collected without exception.
Pretty hairy?
Well the pond must confess to being disappointed with the bromancer. Talk about bringing on the third world war, and then somehow expecting it to be done in a couple of gobbets? Why he hasn't even arranged for the confiscation of radios ... which the perfidious Chinese will certainly use to spread fear and uncertainty, what with their love of ancient technologies ...
Yes, we need frank action, with the bromancer ready to lead the way ... why settle for a few trifling Covid deaths, when we can really get into the killing fields in a big way?
Gad sir, they just need a way for him to drone into action while strapped to his armchair, and a very dry sherry at the ready ...
Gad sir, and now it's time to turn to the immortal Rowe celebrating the fearless leader who will take us into battle, with more celebratory Rowe here ...
Slappy is so far down the lockdown rabbit hole that she's quoting Lord Downer, always and forever the loon who opined that COVID was naught but a common flu, and recommended that the community jolly toughen up.
ReplyDeleteThe circularity that regurgitates these numbskulls over and over is dizzying. Dolly is somewhat of a gaseous punching back on the old social media, as witnessed here when a punter asks why he needs to be partisan about everything: "You're new to the Downer family aren't you?" replies a sage soul.
https://twitter.com/AlexanderDowner/status/1432986891117268993
I thought we - taxpayers (and I am one still) - maintained one Adam Taylor to be the PM's 'Official Photographer'. It is unlikely to be result of an economy drive by the Feds that the ScoMo family choose to recycle photographs of family 'occasions' to satisfy the millions of avid fans out there. Could we be due a spread in 'Women's Weekly' of the family that is saving Australia?
ReplyDeleteDr Strangelove is the go, DP, as the Bromancer unfolds the modern version of 'Mutually Assured Destruction' So, the Bro gives us: "For the first time, we are going to embrace asymmetric warfare as the offensive party rather than the defensive party. It's a revolution."
ReplyDeleteRight, so at last Australia will have the capability to actually start offensive wars on its own initiative, rather than waiting until somebody else starts one that we then have to join them on. Oh wau, that's a giant leap forward isn't it. And so, as the Bro says: "Dutton wants cheap weapons that can "swarm" an enemy." Right, instead of having to deliver a few nukes, we can deliver thousands, nay tens of thousands, of high explosive missiles. And China being China, no matter where they hit, they'll kill millions.
And the Chinese will send a few hundred missiles over - won't have to use nukes - and flatten Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Adelaide. And maybe even Canberra as some kind of after thought. - thus hitting a total of 5+5+2.7+2+1.3+0.46 = 16.46 million out of 25.77 million.
Yep, that's MAD all right.
Refresh my memory - what's this war about again? Must have dozed off in the middle of the offering.
Delete"Australia will have the capability to actually start offensive wars on its own initiative, rather than waiting until somebody else starts one that we then have to join them on". It would be a big shift to abandon the faithful lickspittle role we played for the mother country and subsequently the Yankees.
Do try to keep up, Bef: it is, of course the war against Taiwan on behalf of our Best Forever Suzerain, China, so that the Xi-landers will buy our discounted wines again and stop devaluing our iron-dust. There's only about 24 million Taiwanese on a small island, so maybe just, oh, 20,000 missiles high explosive warheads will be enough.
DeleteAnd we'll be able to go on mining and polluting until there's none of us left. If we just go for cities and towns then maybe we won't get many Formosan indigenes and they can reclaim the island for themselves.
Like Covid patients, The Bromacer needs to be placed in quarantine.
ReplyDeleteAustralia would last 5 minutes with a war with any nation to the north of us, except for Papua New Guinea.
An attack on our non China Asian neighbours would see them unify as one against us and that is it.
In the case of his wildest fantasy of tackling China, we would last less than a nanosecond.
He and those Boys Only Weekly types at the Amateur Hour Defence Institute must be sectioned ASAP.
Ok, though if you're going to wish for the moon, you might as well go for broke and wish for the stars as well. If it can't ever happen any way at all, what do you have to lose ?
DeleteIs this the three-year-old-boy Slappy refers to?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/family-of-boy-stuck-in-nsw-never-asked-for-exemption-says-qld-cho-20210902-p58o7f.html
If so, it might be like Fido's pilot trapped in WA, a story that fits the narrative but turns out to be false.
"The family of a three-year-old Queensland boy stuck in NSW with his grandparents because of border closures had not previously approached authorities for an exemption to enter the state, Queensland’s chief health officer says".
Also saw this piece which fleshes out the subtext of the "underlying conditions" framing
https://www.theage.com.au/national/underlying-health-conditions-that-s-almost-all-of-us-20210904-p58otg.html
It also shows that an MD can write a better column than your average loon. "The narrative is compelling in its implied imagery and quasi-Darwinistic simplicity: a powerful battalion marches forward, its muscular forearms and resolute jaws redolent of the factory worker on a 1950s Soviet poster."
"Producing, living, loving – these are the people charged with fulfilling the social and biological destiny of mankind. Of course, they can carry the infirm and the old to an extent – they are not heartless, after all – but only to an extent. As soon as the burden starts to impinge too much on the progress of the Great March Forward, it is time to shed sentimentality and with it those unproductive elements that hold “us” back."
It made me wonder if the reptiles think of themselves this way, as übermenschen. I haven't seen any of these people in the flesh but Killer and the Caterist seem to be real whimps trying a bit too hard. DB is the flabby middle aged man, nature making his appearance match his personality and Dame Slab is likely sitting on a cushion when she turns up on Auntie, a small person talking loudly to get some attention. I cannot imagine what useful contribution any of them could make to society.
Whereas, you see, they are only interested in what contribution society can make to them.
DeleteAnd that nearly all of them will survive until they too have "underlying conditions" is not deserving of attention now.