In which the pond is unnerved by the bromancer's depressive mania, but relieved by the return of dashing Donners ...

 

 

The pond will confess to a little mild surprise on learning that nattering "Ned" had taken a principled stand and resigned from the lizard Oz, effective immediately. 

Apparently the discovery that he was working for a criminal corporation that had aided and abetted and consorted with a criminal president was too much for the plucky pompous one, and he up and quit, just like that...

What's that, it was just a fever dream and that's why the pond is running late for the day?

Never mind, speaking of fever dreams, imagine the pond's surprise when it scanned the tree killer edition this morning...

 

Oh sure there was simplistic Simon doing the standard hagiographical arse-licking and he scored all the glory in the tree killer edition too ...

 

 

How relieved "Ned" must be to see his criminal enterprise still taking money from Clive in a way that can only be described as morally criminal... but no, enough of all the usual reptile nonsense, because the pond was heart-broken, shattered, and unnerved by the bromancer's sorry tale of woe, down there with the Ancient Mariner as he stoppeth the pond for a chat ...

 

Twilight's last gleaming...

Now please bear with the pond. The reptiles decided to fill the bromancer piece with click bait videos and snaps right up the wazoo, and the pond didn't attempt to fumigate or disinfect the piece, but let them sit, as being indicative of the reptile state of mind ... reptiles last gleaming, so to speak ...

Oh dear, it all became clear. The bromancer has been listening to Malware, and like most village idiots, comes away with an intense belief in the last thing he heard. 

As if Malware could be right, when the bromancer himself admits that Scotty from marketing scored an immense diplomatic triumph ... you know, alienating the French, getting the Indonesians and the Malaysians over-excited and ... say what?

Note how the reptiles slipped in a click bait video starring Mark Latham, wanting to nuke the country.

It has three fifths of fuck all to do with the bromancer's gloom, but you have to admire the reptile cunning ... and so it seemed only fair in response to slip in a cartoon celebrating the bromancer's decline into terminal depression ...

 

Now on with more snaps and click bait videos - rendered harmless of course by screen caps - as the bromancer keeps on with his terminal decline into futility and abject pointlessness ...

 

 

A sick joke, a three card trick, frankly batshit crazy quality? By golly, too much time in the company of Malware and Scotty from marketing, and you really do need your meds ...

 

 

Dear long absent lord in heaven? Why have you forsaken the bromancer and left him with Scotty from marketing, speaking in tongues to an imaginary friend?

Well at the end of this long depressive spiral into mindless gloom, the reptiles tried to lift the bromancer's spirits with the snap of a sub.  It's a bit like that scene in Godard's Les Carabiniers, where the soldiers return home with an ample supply of postcards, testament to their war loot ...

 

Of course in the film the war loot isn't real, it's just full of semiotic signs and meanings and significations and a Jean Renoir joke, but the pond digresses ... because as well as a golden coach, there was also an air ship,  surely in celebration of the subs that might not be ... 

Please, reptile,s console the bromancer with the sub, the ancient museum piece,  that will save us all ...

Grand announcements, a grand shamble, and a snap of a museum piece, and that's all there is my friends, that's all there is ...

Conclusion: somebody put the wrong supplement in the kool aid in Surry Hills, and the reptiles, keen to defy Covid and get back into the building, went mad. 

First "Ned" discovering he worked for a criminal enterprise, aiding and abetting a criminal, now the bromancer has his rose-coloured glasses shattered, at least until the next pundit comes along to give him a fresh vision ...

And so to the rest and the pond is pleased to remind anyone passing that this is the day the pond's permanent ban on petulant Peta stays in place ...

Scotty did well on subs? Is she mad, hasn't she read the bromancer? 

As for showing us his convictions, what about a remarkable Rowe, where his convictions lurk under the kilt (with more Rowe lurking here) ...

As for the rest, the pond is always in the habit of surveying what's down under, simply to note what it failed to take up ...

 

Oh dear, James just worth a """ treatment? But huzzah, dashing Donners is back. The pond had thought he'd abandoned the reptiles for the tabloid Terror, but no, his infinite wisdom has returned to where it rightly belongs...

Hmm, that's an unfortunate snap to get things going, some weird loon calling out in tongues to an imaginary friend, perhaps ready to lay that uplifted healing hand on some sick person, and transmute them from ailing secular lead into rapture-ready gold ...

Never mind, the pond is pleased Donners is back with his dash, because the pond noted his absence when he was mentioned in despatches only a few days ago ...

 

Yes, he's a "based on the trailer" sort of reviewer, and to be fair, the pond spends all its time looking at Netflix trailers just so it can avoid watching Netflix, but on with Donners, as usual preaching on the right of religious loons to preach not just self-hated, fear and loathing, but a goodly dose of hatred in general and all round ...

How outrageous, fancy wanting to stop gay conversion therapy. Why half the Catholic church's priests need a goodly dose of it (or so the gay priest in the extended family says when in a whimsical mood).

As for trans bashing, when hasn't that been a godly cause for righteous loons of the dashing Donners kind. Why Donners and the Taliban are one when it comes to trannies ...

Yes, it's the usual religious cry for freedom of religion and belief being fully respected and guaranteed, and the next thing you know you find yourself in the company of a fundamentalist tyke, or the Texas Taliban, or just as bad, the actual Taliban ...

On the upside, Donners kept his frothing and foaming indignation relatively short ...

 

Ah yes, protect the Xians, but have at the poofters and the trannies, it's the Catholic Taliban way ...

But on an up note, remember that other piece of heresy to grace the reptile digital page this day, and what's worse, a bloody reptile EXCLUSIVE?

Who is this wretched Schott? Doesn't she realise the planet (not to mention the NBN and submarines and all that jazz) is shot?

Here, have an infallible Pope and go in peace, but remember to be afraid, it's the Xian way ...