In which the pond ignores petulant Peta's feeble attempt to wage war on China to join the crusader bromancer and Lloydie in the war on coal haters ...

 

 

 

Thursday. What a relief it is ...

Petulant Peta pounds on the drums of war, but if the pond wants advice on how to be a warrior, it will follow the mutton Dutton and hearken unto the dulcet sounds of the crusader bromancer ...

They know how to do it regularly and with style, they're not just some Thursday warrior who thinks grabbing Emperor Xi by the balls will be as easy as grabbing the onion muncher by the testicles ...

Besides, there are many wars to fight, and luckily the lizard Oz provided news early this day of war on many fronts in its regular feature, in its the triptych of terror highlights (naturally featuring Albo under threat in one of the panels) ...

 

 

 

A determination to fight wars ethically? What an outrageous, insensitive concept, and it was mighty pleasing to see Ben and the mutton Dutton packing that sort of nonsense away. 

How can we win with jibber jabber about ethics ... everyone knows that the only way to defeat a Nazi is to become a Nazi ... and who better to do the Nazi thing than the mutton Dutton?

Meanwhile, we must forget the war on China for a moment, because the warrior bromancer is busy on another front, and so the pond must blindly follow him over the top ...

 

 

 

What a relief, what a surge of excitement in the pond's loins this day. Did someone at News Corp spend a nanosecond recently pretending they gave a flying fuck about climate science and the fate of the planet?

The pond knew it was horseshit (not as good for the garden as bullshit), and how pleasing it was to see a manly man of the bromancer kind, ready to do battle this day with dissenters and heretics, fools who failed to embrace the wonders of sweet, innocent, clean, dinkum virginal Oz coal.

Forget the war on China for a moment, this is where lizard Oz steel is required ...

 

 

Yes, yes, global waffle on climate change! And where else could you expect to turn for a fierce denunciation of such waffle? And what's more, if we don't keep on using more and more Oz coal, the entire planet will be threatened by ruin ...

Shouldn't we set an example, as a way of hauling in dictatorships of the Vlad the impaler and Emperor Xi kind?

Of course not ... we have a lifestyle issue here, please settle back and let the bromancer cut through the waffle for you ...

 

 

 

Yes, yes, yes, it's coal all the way, and who better to consult than the Minerals Council of Australia ...

 

 

 

 

More here for the hot links, and here, for the Minerals Council pretending to take some sort of action and have some kind of plan.

The pond felt a warm glow - that snap of the kindly man healing the planet by laying his hands on coal always moves the pond deeply.

But back to the bromancer, enacting the Murdochian strategy on climate science and global climate change ...

 

Yes, yes, yes, oh how the bromancer yearns to return to the good old days of his bromance buddie, the onion muncher ...

What a pretty pair they still make ...

And now before the final short gobbet, the pond poses a challenging question. Who else might the bromancer invoke in his warrior battle with climate warriors, and pussyfooting SloMo trying to be too clever by half, when what is needed is a strong manly statement that coal is what matters, indeed, coal is what batters ...

 

 

 

 

Oh the pond just had to answer its rhetorical question before we join the Canavan caravan with the bromancer ...

 

 

Oh brave coal-loving climate denialist warrior, fighting away to win the battle. 

How foolish the pond was to have a nanosecond's doubt. So soon after all that nonsense about accepting the science and doing something about it, the bromancer set the record straight. If the pond has any criticism, it's that he failed to mention the nanny state and Orwellian climate scientists, and didn't go hard enough on deviant leftists with their hideous self-serving agenda of saving the planet with their useless waffle ...

But what set the bromancer off?

Here the pond must note Lloydie of the Amazon's latest diligent report ...

 

 

 

Say what? Not just the sweet innocent virginal Oz coal the bromancer loves and SloMo uses for his laying on of hands?

But that means all around the world there will be bromancers screeching to the heavens about their love of coal ... not just dinkum coal, but their own lovely sweet innocent brand of coal ...

 

 

 

Et tu Boris? But then Maggie destroyed the British coal industry so you've got no skin in the game, not like the bromancer and the Canavan caravan ...

This was sounding exceptionally dire, but luckily the reptiles could slip in a chat from a man ready to sell out the planet if it means saving his seat ... (yes, the pond rendered it harmless and unplayable by way of screen cap) ...

 

 

How thoughtful of the reptiles to slip in Joel, blathering on to save his seat ... and not even bothering to pay lip service to climate science, not up against his deep love of dinkum coal ...

Oh sure Lloydie might publish some idle nonsense about new research, but the reptiles had balanced the ledger by wheeling out Joel ...

 

 

First moves? Over the bromancer, the Canavan caravan, the Minerals Council, jolly Joel and News Corp and assorted Murdochian dead bodies.

Tell 'em they're dreaming is the cry, and anyone tempted to wheel out that old story of the frog and the scorpion should remember that Lloydie himself, almost single-handedly, saved the Amazon ... perhaps as a way of expiating the guilt he felt working for the coal-loving lizard Oz ...

 

 

Ah, tell 'em they're dreaming, we're going to fuck the planet if it's the last thing we do ...

And with that issue done and dusted, the pond decided to look around for a bonus ... and there were plenty of contenders ...

 

The threat from the illiberal left? Identity politics? Well played Economist, nice try, especially as the Texas Taliban are currently doing their best at US comedy, teetering towards tragedy ...

 

 

But the pond confesses it was more intrigued by that talk of the High Court decision ... which seems to have set a fire under sundry reptiles ...

 

 

Yes, there was the meritorious Merritt with meretricious blather about not holding the trolls to account.

Of course the pond holds its trolls to account in a very simple way ... by not using Facebook.

You'd think the reptiles would stop using totalitarian big tech social media platforms, but truth to tell, they're addicted to the cash in paw, mainlining the hits like your average junkie ...

Well the pond had filibustered its way to the point where it only felt the need to sample the lizard Oz editorialist, because the pond always likes to start the day by supping on reptile tears ...

 

 

How comical is that?

The reptiles merely create Facebook pages and place content on them, and then readers react and respond, and the reptiles are expected to fork out hard cash to moderate the responses? How cruel, unkind and uncaring is that?

Keep control of the crazies? But it's the Murdochian brand to let loose the crazies ...

Why this very day the readership was celebrating the bromancer and his powerful denunciation of ratbag talk about accepting the climate science ...

No way could the reptiles be expected to moderate the content. The crazy is the brand ...

 

 

 

 

There's much more of course and there will be more in the course of the day, but meanwhile, the pond just had to mention the News Corp solution ... big government ...

Yep, they'd invested in SloMo, and now they expected a high rate of interest, a strong rate of return, to end this High Court nonsense ...

 

 

Encourage Facebook users to turn off the opportunities for comment? Don't the reptiles hate social media and all its done to ruin western civilisation?

Say what? Pay for moderation? And have a sensible discussion shorn of the crazy? Forget it Jake, it's Murdoch town ...

By now the pond was well past its irony and coaly content for the day, but there was just room for one last after dinnery mint of irony thanks to the immortal Rowe, with more irony always on hand here ...