If you can suffer prattling Polonius for a Sunday meditation, then you can bloody well suffer the bromancer too ...

 

 

 And another one bites the dust, and another one, and another one ...

 

Off to Westworld, not the TV show for more, as the pond resumes normal reptile duties on a meditative Sunday with prattling Polonius ...

 

 

Knowing he's not much of anything - epidemiologist, climate scientist, scribbler with the first clue - prattling Polonius usually likes to lurk before he comes out ... but clearly he felt that the time was right to have a go at the secessionists who are ruining the grand reptile plan to reduce the entire country to the state of panic being felt in the land of the cockroaches ...

 

Ah, back in dog botherer territory and gold standard Gladys, as celebrated by the reptiles ...

 

 

 

 

Assorted media loons keep taking Gladys at her word, and at face value her assurances that the current disaster is likely to peak in October, but she doesn't have a clue, and has been demonstrably clueless, and New South Wales might yet produce an even more phenomenal triumph.

So we get all this never-ending reptile talk of the exceptional Gladys, without noting how she's exceptionally fucked things up, but there's prattling Polonius for you ...

 

What's remarkable in all this folderol? Well anyone with half a brain has known for months that vaccinations are the only solution, though with certain caveats, because the vaccines lose efficacy, and there will have to be booster shots, especially for the most vulnerable, and SloMo's rush to make up for lost time has reduced efficacy has made the situation even dodgier, but that said, what has been the biggest problem with this solution?

Yep, it's the feds fucking the roll out in ways too numerous to count and too weird to imagine ...

Don't take the pond's word f or it. Head back to The Conversation this year on 12th April with As Australia's vaccination bungle becomes clear, Morrisons's political pain is only just beginning.

And then there was "head of the pack, it's not a race, I don't hold the hose or the needle" SloMo himself in the Graudian on 22nd July 2921: 'I'm sorry': Scott Morrison apologises for slow pace of Australia's vaccine rollout ...

His tedious delay in acknowledging responsibility or saying he was sorry was even slower than the vaccine roll out ... so naturally we're supposed to admire the way it's all happening now, months after it mattered ... and naturally, it being Polonius, if it isn't the state premiers, it must be the ABC ...

 

Mental health issues? What, did somebody look at a Gladys chart and get depressed?

 

 

Never mind, magically, it's going to reach a peak in the next two weeks, level off and then just go away, magically, disappear, just like the mango Mussolini promised, and then we'll no longer have to focus on the numbers or the deaths, we'll just have to check to see if we've broken the health system or got enough people vaccinated to prevent a pandemic of the unprotected...

 

What a goose. Suddenly Polonius has discovered  vaccinations? Even if you wanted a vaccination in the early days, you couldn't get one. 

The Feds didn't bother whipping up demand with an advertising campaign because they couldn't satisfy demand ... and now they're rolling out AZ on a reduced timetable which will substantially reduce efficacy, and make the pond think that it should be lining up for a booster shot in the next couple of months ...

But perhaps if Polonius has now belatedy discovered vaccinations, he might also discover climate science ...

 

 

Why is it a cartoonist can pack more into a cartoon than Polonius can pack into a column?

And so to another matter involving Polonius.

The pond faithfully promised a correspondent it would read Polonius's media watch dog - something it swore never ever to do because of its weirdly Freudian nature, what with Polonius fantasising that he's a hellhound dognipping at the heel of sundry folks. 

It's Polonius revealing his inner bitch, and more than the pond needs to know, TMFI, but the correspondent wanted to know if he'd mention this ...

 

Well you'd better head off to The Graudian for that story, because of course Polonius didn't mention it ...

But while reading Polonius, the pond did cop this ...

 

David Hardaker has been doing a great job at Crikey, tearing apart the cult Hillsong, and its cult follower SloMo. 

The pond hasn't bothered going there, because there's nothing to add to Hardaker's work ... but it was that Polonial note about the Pellist crap that got the pond going ...

There was the Graudian back in May 2020, with George Pell: cardinal was aware of children being sexually abused, royal commission finds ...

But being visually inclined, the pond thought one image said it all ...

And what about an ancient Rowe, just for the memories?

 

And there was another Polonial note which caught the pond's eye, which bought news of the savvy Savva, whom the pond had forgotten about in less time than it took to twinkle an eye ...

 

Apparently Polonius is unaware of the notion of being fucked when you're coming and fucked when you're going, but anyone with an awareness of Sky after dark would know what it's like to be a horse up a dark alley ...

 

 

And so to the bonus for the day, and given that nattering "Ned" seems to have done a bunk, taken a powder, split the scene daddy-o, it had to be the bromancer ...

 

 
 

A couple of notes before we start on the bromancer journey. The pond observed yesterday, in relation to the dog botherer, how the same bumble bees kept buzzing around in the reptile noggins, meaning that one column could be interchanged with another, and so any comment on a particular column led to the same sort of tiresome repetition on the part of the pond ...

And in the case of some of the reptiles - "Ned", the dog botherer, the bromancer - the buzzing kept on at inordinate length ...

But so be it, there's no point being a herpetology student if you're not willing to go on a long trek in the mud and the verbal slush ...

At this point, the pond could already hear the howls of pain from those who've heard it all before. But what choice did the pond have? Another dose of Dame Slap?

 

But Dame Slap's #MeToo fixation is even more tiresome, and the pond was already highly alert to the misguided "believe-all women-who-act-as-IPA-chairman" mantra.

No, the pond had made the right call, even if it was a tough one, nay a downright cruel and bloody-minded one ...

It's hard to know what to feast on ... the bromancer's tears or the bromancer's paranoia ... so the pond settled for running a cartoon evoking the experience of reading the bromancer ...

Ah that opening panel did it for the pond. Fancy turning to a right wing nutjob who supported the invasion twenty years ago for any meaningful insight ...

And so the pond turns back to the right wing nutjob who supported the invasion twenty years ago ... and what a splendid armchair general he makes ...

 

But where does the bromancer buy his tears and his paranoia from? Well here's the sort of podcast the bromancer listens on his way to the keyboard, featuring Jimbo Molan, and an irrelevant loon grazier from somewhere out Gunneydahh way ...(just so you can get that local pronunciation right) ...

The pond can dimly recall when it first learned about ANFO, it was in a quarry long ago, but it seems that just now the Taliban and the bromancer have realised it makes a splendid bomb ... though they might have got a clue from the 1947 Texas City disaster ... long before Oklahoma City and Beirut copped a blast ...

So the pond is all for it. What's needed however is a dedicated citizenry, ready to join a militia and spend their weekends practising the art of asymmetrical warfare ... you know ...

 

And no doubt the bromancer will be pleased to be the leader of the first Surry Hills Popular Reptile Defence Force, part of the Army of the Murdochian Advanced Liberation Forces of Australia (AMALFA, popularly known as alfalfa ...)

 

Pretty much every Saturday the bromancer sits down in his armchair and lives out his warrior fantasies and his life as a general of immense strategic skill, and sometimes the pond wonders if he and the world wouldn't be happier if he spent his time playing a round of Call of Duty Black Ops ... and give those bloody lions a hard time ...

 

 

 

 

And so to a final furious fantasy gobbet from the warrior in chief ...

And there you have it ... your chance to get an alarm clock from this man ...

 

And so to to finish off with a different sort of war, one which is like to make the bromancer seem like a bunch of piffle, with more First Dog here (TT can be found here)...