In which the savvy Savva returns, and the bromancer serves it up to devious continentals, and the lizard Oz editorialist sighs over mums ... and who is not entertained?

 

Watching an air crash investigation show the other day, the pond came across the notion of the black hole illusion. 

Technically, this is about featureless terrain, and pilots thinking they're flying higher than they actually are (here for budding pilots),  but the pond thought it the perfect metaphor for reading the lizard Oz. Technically you think you know what they're saying, and then you and the planet crash and burn ...

But enough metaphysical musing, because for the first time in yonks, the savvy Savva has returned ...

 

 

 

The pond has always enjoyed the savvy Savva, because she can be reliably relied upon to dump on SloMo, sometimes from a great height, and sometimes from a modest one, but always a dumping ...

 

 

There you go, a fine dumping, though the pond would amend at least one line to read "it is mystifying that someone as allegedly as politically astute (as only reptiles might allege) can make so many dumb calls, when really what do you expect of someone who hangs around Hillsong and calls Brian Houston a mentor and speaks in tongues to an imaginary friend?"

Never mind, it's the savvy thought that counts, and the future follies that are certain to follow ...

 

Somewhat cruelly, above all, the pond expects entertainment, a good in-house movie as the plane rolls upside down, and speeds towards the earth (there was another show where unskilled pilots couldn't handle a banking plane and fucked up the autopilot, but enough of reptile metaphors) ...

Phew, that's a fair dumping, but is it Scotty from marketing's fault that he stayed silent while gorgeous George and loopy Craig and batshit mad Barners stormed around the belfrey? And then inherited the wind?

Entertainment, that's what we want, and surely the savvy Savva has been entertained during her absence ...

 

Emphasis on lead? As in Pb, or plumbum if you will?

But he is leading, and there are followers and after robo debt comes dob in a bludger, and is not the infallible Pope entertained? Or is at least entertaining ...

 

 

And so to a quick survey of what else the reptiles had on offer this early morn ...

 

The pond would, of course, love to have what the lowing Lovell has been drinking, talking of unity at a time when the Nats are full of raving loons and the former furniture salesman has stormed off in high dudgeon, but amongst the thin pickings, the pond was entranced by one item ...

 

 

Sorry, the pond was just doing a little scene setting ... because the reptiles were in a quaint world of picket fence delusion from the very start with their header ... I say, egad, wot, wot, mothers ...

 

Oh the suffering of billionaires, oh the tragedy and the pity, as opposed to say a tranny getting bashed in the street ... but remember the black hole illusion and stand by for a trip with old white men back to a world where they feel safe ...

 

 

 

The pond was reminded of those old sketches by Harry Enfield... only these days it seems that trans folk must know their limits ...

And so to the bromancer, simply because he was also out and about today ...

You see, whatever the ostensible subject matter at hand, at some point the bromancer is sure to create a black hole illusion and send the pond flying off in some other direction. Let's see how it works ...

 

There you go, Brexit. The pond knew at once it had to head off to crash and burn at the Graudian here ...

 

 

 

There's more of course ... the pond rather cruelly jumped to the end of that bit of in-flight entertainment. and there's a wide range of movies available ... why not try I thought Brexit would be hard for small businesses like mine - but not this hard ...

 

In fact the Graudian has an array of stories tagged with Brexit, not least Boris Johnson a 'liar' who will blame Brexit costs on Covid, says diplomat ... Sylvie Bermann, former French ambassador, puts PM's handling of pandemic alongside Donald Trump's ...

Then there's the endless delays, and the waste and the loss of jobs, and the endless form filling, but now back to the movie we started with ...

 

Egad sir,  and with a single stroke of the keyboard, the bromancer managed to eradicate from Britain a long history of extremist politics, from the onion eater to the rivers of blood man to a pond favourite ...

 

When it comes to cliches, stereotypes, implicit and explicit racism and talk of damned furriners, the bromancer is in a class of his own ... as if the Poms never had their own civil war, and heroic statesmen stalked the land ...

Details and higher resolution here, and the pond must apologise because it's been doing a little reading on the English Civil War of late, which of course - it goes almost without saying - was the result of the importation of pesky furrin ideas from those damned continental furriners ... as were all those other riots and malcontent moments in British history ...

And so to a final thought from that ineluctable, quintessential English gentleman ...

 

 

 

 

Here's a thought. Is it possible to vaccinate the entire population against the black hole illusion induced by reading the bromancer?

Probably not, but if there was the foggiest chance, the pond would certainly make it compulsory ... just as it would make the odure emanating from a Rowe cartoon a compulsory thing to sniff, with more compulsive sniffing here ...