In which the pond spends most of its time with the former furniture salesman, the bromancer, "Ned" and so forth and etcetera ...

 

 

The pond reserves the right to go on loathing Facebook and the lizard Oz in equal measure, but naturally the reptiles were wildly excited about Facebook folding, while the pond was more interested in the fate of the former furniture salesman who has done so much for climate science ...

As usual, there was a reptile knob-polisher on hand to reassure everyone that everything was in the best of hands, and the polishing of the knob could proceed calmly or at least until someone felt the surge of excitement Shanners always feels contemplating SloMo ...

 

 

But there's more to life than professional knob-polishing, and surges of excitement, and so the pond turned to the bromancer for the real reptile juice ...

That's way, way better... from calm to existential alert in a heartbeat ...

Ah yes, the old "there are good people and policies on both sides" ploy, as the pond chants "the reptiles will not replace us" ...

Look, there's Barners hovering in that clickbait video, and just below it there's the bromancer celebrating Boris and Brexit, apparently unaware of what an existential disaster that's been, and in only a few short weeks too, and who on earth could scribble that Boris is moderate, inclusive, decent and electable?

The bromancer could, that's who, because delusions run silent, run deep ...

But then the bromancer was also deeply in love with his mate, the onion muncher, and if that was the case, why be surprised that Boris is also in the queue?

So the bromancer is an A-grade loon, which is why it's very disturbing that he's drawn the line at a humble former furniture salesman, whose only mistake is to watch a little too much of Sky News after dark, and imbibe the blather of the likes of the Bolter and the disqualified Dean ... 

Never mind, a little more existential alert please ...

 

Suddenly the bromancer is worried about medical authorities? 

But the pages of the lizard Oz have been littered with contempt for medical authorities. Why Killer Creighton has made a career out of it, and almost every reptile has at some point joined in a chant against the climate scientists ... why the sudden concern that a humble former furniture salesman should read the lizard Oz, then go home with his head full of hydroxy and conspiracy theories?

 

 

Ah, the anti-vaxxer stuff ... the lizard Oz editorialist was banging on about that yesterday as well, but the pond can help the reptiles understand their empire a little better ...

 

 

Here's the problem reptiles. The social media disinformation is coming from inside the house ...

 

 

Now the pond isn't going to amplify the dog on the Tucker box's message, or provide a link to it, though it does have its exquisite ironies, as noted here ...

 

You see, reptiles? You see the dangers of having humble ex-furniture salesmen exposed to the rambling loonacy of News Corp via social media? What can you possibly say up against your American kissing cousins?

 

No, you useless dingbats, you have to pull the dog on the Tucker box, and while you're at it, you might have to abandon Sky News, or at least Rowan Dean describing anti-vaxing policing as "police brutuality", such that dinkum honest anti-vaxxers might be so intimated they'd be too scared to go out and protest or turn up at night to talk to the Dean about their righteous concerns ... and don't forget the parrot, a devoted hydroxy devotee, and ...

Oh here, have a Rowe cartoon, with more always here ...

 

 

And so to the rest of the reptiles ...

 

Oh fucketty fuck, the pond has already mentioned the knob polisher ... but Dame Slap reduced to scribbling about Madonna?  The 'leet lawyer who donned the MAGA cap and hobnobbed with "Lord" Monckton and scribbled of global UN world government reduced to talking about Madonna? It was too sad and too pitiful for the pond to contemplate ...

And lo, there was Theo nuking the country, but the pond has already featured far too much nuking of late ... especially as Theo seems trapped in the reptile's ideological present, which came just shortly after some of them decided to leave dinkum, clean, honest, noble, worthy and pure Oz coal in an ideological past. Not all of them of course, but enough to make nuking the country the new reptile rage ... if the pond might quote Madonna, what are you looking at, strike a nuking pose, vogue, Theo, vogue ...

There was nothing for it, but to endure a bout with "Ned", who elsewhere had been wildly excited about the Facebook deal, but being prolix, was also ready to go the jab and sort out SloMo's problems ...

 

 

 

Just before the pond gets started, might it note how tiresome it is to see that sort of flag mask, how offensive, how Trumpian, how furniture salesman it is ...

It reminds the pond of the days of getting sick on hot banana flavoured milk left out in the Tamworth sun, and was given to regurgitating on a daily basis "I love God and my country, I honour the flag, I will serve the Queen and cheerfully obey my parents, teachers and the law", having been herded into an assembly like sheep to the empire slaughterhouse...

That's where the 1960s came from ... but now, do go on "Ned", feel free to natter ...

 

That's more like it. Instead of that knob-polishing talk of calm, the nervous Nelly, Chicken Little, sackcloth and ashes, hand-wringing "Ned" yet again befogged in a cloud of unpredictability, especially as the reptiles have now been given the job of selling the new sleeked down JobSeeker model ... which will, in due course, in its new incarnation, lead to a new bout of stories down there with robotic debt collection measures, but do go on ... and remember to praise Gladys, because who can remember Wagga Wagga?

 

Yes, we must get people working again. The lazy bludgers are ready to seek any excuse to loll about, and some of them just love to live in a pittance, munching on cardboard thanks to the over-generous JobSeeker on offer ...

And so to a little denialism worthy of a former furniture salesman, because how much better it would have been to let the virus roam wild and free, and if a few passengers should get off a ship and head to another state, where's the harm in that? Nothing to do with our Gladys ...

 

You know, the pond was shocked and appalled when just recently the state premiers banded together to put on hold temporarily the New Zealand bubble ...

No doubt Westacott was as appalled as the pond. What's that you say? It was the Australian government?

Never mind, as an extra bonus, the pond decided it would run a news story, because it loves the former furniture salesman so much ...

 

 

 

You see, the former furniture salesman is very popular with the lizard Oz readership. This is a readership the reptiles have spent decades creating ...

 

 

  

 

Russian bots? Not really, and the reptiles knew the love, because they stacked the story full of shots of the former furniture salesman, along with click-bait gathering videos ... which is why the pond mainly went with the text ...

 

Well that's enough of views of the lumbering bear, on with a montage of clippings ...

 

 

Sorry, if the pond could just interrupt the montage for a moment.

Look, the pond would love to link to the parrot and the Bolter and others on Sky News pumping up hydroxy or talk of censorship by social media companies on the matter of hydroxy, but just for the minute, Facebook's recirculation of News Corp misinformation, disinformation and shameless lies, with generous bonus of conspiracy theories, is temporarily down, but happily will resume as soon as the cash hits the reptiles' paws ...  

Poor former furniture salesman ... all he did was watch too much of the reptiles at night on the box, and got his imagination a little excited ...

Now it might just be better to do the rest in an Sergei Eisenstein gulp ...

 

 

What a hoot, what a lot of fun and games, what joy to see the full flowering of Sky News after dark ... but what's this, the former furniture salesman is going to support that shockingly generous fifty bucks a fortnight?

Luckily the infallible Pope was on hand to explain the resulting mathematics ...