In which the pond sniffs the air and detects reptiles farting about climate change ...

 

 

The pond makes no apology for abandoning favourite reptiles and beginning with simplistic Simon, panderer, hagiographer, and coalition government stooge employed under cover by News Corporation.

You see, as well as tilling the political soil, and boiling the frog, simplistic Simon is also belling the cat that there is an election in the wind, and suddenly Scotty from marketing and the reptiles themselves are about to do a 180 on climate and a target and all that was so problematic a year, or even a month, ago ...

It's a deeply cynical exercise, but when you're a panderer, there's not much time to contemplate such matters, when there's pandering to be done ...

 

You see, throw in a 'cows farting' joke to add to the 'boiling frog', and then hedge your bets, while piously and with a straight face insist it's got nothing to do with Boris or Biden, and 'Bob's your uncle', or 'Bobbette's your aunt' if you're a recovering, reformed feminist of the reptile Oreo kind ...

 

 

Then follow up with a "nevertheless", which is what panderers and hagiographers say when about to do their 180 ...

 

 

Yes, he's signed up for zero emissions, yet he hasn't, but technology will solve the problem, except there's no indication that technology is on hand at the moment, but better sniff the wind and the farting cows and all will be well for the lad from marketing ...

How did the pond know there was a lot of reptile farts in the wind? Just look at this line up...

 

You see, the pond could safely ignore Killer Creighton today. He's only fun when he's thinking up ways for the virus to kill people. 

And as for getting inside the Taliban's head, the pond leaves that to crazed Donald supporters and fundamentalist Xians ... is there an angry Sydney Anglican in search of a complimentary woman?

No, look over to the left, which is to the right, and see there ... Shanners yet again polishing SloMo's nob - how diligent and persistent he is in his task - and nattering "Ned" beavering away about change agents ...

The pond knew it could only take one before nausea set in, and so nattering "Ned" was chosen, even if the pond could detect a shuffling of feet, and people heading to the exit door, because there's only so much reptile fawning that can be taken in one day ... but remember, this is about detecting a trend, and sniffing the sewerage plant for signs of an erection ... sorry, election, it's so hard these days, what with insurerection all the go in the US media ...

 

 

See how smoothly nattering "Ned" slides into his knob-polishing duties ...  and how easily he talks of climate change, a topic once reserved to dangerous, lunatic greenies ...

 

Ah the balancing point. It's a wondrous feat, keeping the reptiles happy about dearly precious, beloved, virginal dinkum Aussie coal, or at least a bottle of gas for sniffing purposes, while at the same time talking about a technological, non-ideological approach which will magically solve the issue.

Surely there's an election in the wind if this is the sort of guff we can continue to expect from the man who speaks in tongues to imaginary friends and has QAnon supporters for friends ...

Of course being "Ned",  he has to pretend his warm lettuce leaf approach is hard-edged and driven by realism in an evolving narrative, whereby some reptiles might even might admit there is such a thing as climate change and climate science.

It will be difficult, perhaps even dangerous, but it's all part of the evolving narrative ...

 

Note that we have shifted from boiling frogs to pet shop galahs, and how easily "Ned" examines the entrails of the cocky, casts the runes, and comes up with the appropriate answers ...

Of course it's nothing to do with an election, except that this very day three of the reptiles are in prime electioneering, sloganeering, pandering, hagiographic mode ... and even the pond's cocky started to notice and began squawking there was a reptile loose in the garden ...

 

Yes, the move is on, and "Ned" has outlined the policies for SloMo to pursue, and no doubt someone on his staff will have read them, and incorporated them into the next speech ... because the coalition government is truly united in its stance, and the reptiles sternly refute any suggestion to the contrary ...

 

Now just to put the icing on the confirmatory cake ...

See there in the triptych above the commentary section? 

The pond has already looked at simplistic Simon, and sadly must pass by Dame Slap giving Keating and super a belting in the IPA way, because there's another sign of a shift in the cow fart-laden wind, and it comes with that talk from the rugger star ...

The reptiles usually wouldn't be caught dead publishing a call for climate change action - better a Bjorn in the hand than two greenies in the bush - but it feels different if it's a rugged rugger star ...

 

This is deep reptile thinking, and a cunning ploy. A change is in the cow fart laden air, so why not give the floor to a wretched greenie, talking of a total failure of leadership on all sides?

SloMo steps forward to accept the badge of leadership, and the reptiles' work this day is done ...

Sure, it's all technological fuzz and ideological buzz, and there's nothing like a tour of the gas fields to keep marketing out of both sides of the Craig Kelly mouth, but the pond can detect a change ... look, the reptiles are so bold, they even dare to reproduce a poster which once would have sickened them to the very depths of their bowels ... especially as that wretched Zali woman was also in the mix ...

You see? SloMo has set a target, which isn't a target, but is an achievable target, should the technology gods be willing, and if not, why then it's not a target, and any way who will be around or care, except useless vulgar youffs ... 

How tidily and conveniently and happily SloMo kicking off the year and booting the cane toad fits in as a rebuttal to these extremists, how easy and simple it will be to vote for SloMo and the reptile solution, whatever that is ... some sort of de minimis target involving technology and gas, or whatever, don't think too deeply ...

 

Oh thank the long absent lord, he's heading in country, but at least the reptiles have been able to use him to remind us that SloMo is the solution to the problem ... and, remembering de minimis non curat lex, the pond must immediately scrub images from its haunted past ...

 

And so to the wrap up for the day, the pond turned to Rowe, to catch up on a country inspired by recent US events. Well, if you can storm the Capitol, anything is possible, and as usual there's more Rowe here ...