In which the pond stays true to prattling Polonius ...

Serious question?

The pond was astonished that anyone would dare question the importance of Polonius and his prattle.

Now it's true that the reptiles are useful for many things. The pond wouldn't have known that a state election in NSW was rapidly approaching, if it hadn't been for the lizards of Oz doing their reliable impression of Pravda …

 

Brave Andrew Clennell, doing toady duty for the weekend …such a visionary, so capable, what a great tram project, how smooth it was last night at Sydney airport, how wise it is to tear down stadiums and tear up suburbs to build gigantic roads and cloverleafs evocative of all that was great in LA in the 1950s …

Why it almost brought a tear to the pond's eye ...

And then there was Lloydie doing the weather and a scoundrel doing patriotism, it being the first refuge …

And there are other reptiles standing by to make the pond aware of important matters … like when everybody has lost interest in you back in your home country, it's time to do yet another tour of the colonies …

Just toss a doona on the bed? Nope, live a life of a rigid martinet, follow the sergeant major's orders, and you too can be as weird as Caroline ...

And then there are the professional comedians, always ready to put a smile on the pond's face …

Yes, there's nothing like being in a state of outrage about reason … they go so well together.

And lo, see how the bromancer paves the way for the infallible Pope of the day, with more Pope here …

But this is all starting to get very Seinfeldian. Where to turn to get the gravitas and sheer tedium a young Caleb can't hope to supply?

Well of course there's always nattering "Ned" …

But never confuse a tedious old fart with the joys of a monumental bore blathering on about the same subject … because Polonius and his prattle will win every time…

Who else could link the indies, the ABC, and introduce a history lesson, while railing at the medivac bill? Who else could evoke the way that the reptiles are wetting their pants, not just about Gladys, but about SloMo?

Oh they might mock, they might laugh, they might snigger, they might sneer …

And just what is wrong with a Pye Rambler?

Well enough of the preliminaries, it's time for pure, undiluted tedium of the Polonial kind, and let the pond just say what a pleasure it is to drift back to the great days of Earle Page …and all this talk of indies, how pretty pointless it is, though it surely beats pretty pointless talk of SloMo ...

You see how devotedly Polonius watches the ABC? The pond isn't sure if this is a quite or truly unique obsession, but who else is there who will stand up for the right for Bob Katter to be heard?

Who else would prefer the wild spontaneity of the BBC?

Oh dear, they get agitated over there as well? If only they had Polonius to advise on how to structure a program ...

Oh indeed, indeed …why the paper that once was Lady Fairfax's Herald made exactly this point back on 13th September 1929

Of course this all might be camouflage and historical humbug … a distraction from a sour and painful truth …

The optics of a substantial loss in the lower house, however, aren't great for the Morrison government. Thursday afternoon's vote would leave a sour taste in voters' mouths ahead of the NSW election in March and a federal election soon after. (the paper that once was Fairfax here).

Why, it might undermine the impact of Andrew's wonderful toadying, and it would send the mutton Dutton into a feral rage, and there would be much unhappiness, and people would send jokes to their Twitter account …

And what then if SloMo, ever the snake oil salesman, decided to pull a swift and bung it on quick, rather than endure a slow and painful campaign …

Why was it only yesterday, or 2016, when the reptiles were rambling on about Australia's longest election campaign will be Malcolm Turnbull's biggest test, with talk of a long march …

Back then the reptiles were moaning at Malware's folly, and yet here we are in February and the election campaign is underway, and soon enough Polonius will be speculating on the outcome, and punters will be nodding off ...

But that's the entire point of Polonius. How else to keep the populace docile and quiet, unless a potent sedative can be found? And is there a more potent sedative than Polonial prattle anywhere in the land?

Forget your climate science, forget Lloydie and the dog botherer, bask in waves of verbiage …

And there you go, it's one of Polonius's famous predictions, dressed down to the point of invisibility. 

Indies to lose, and SloMo to score big on the long march through February, March and April, to get to the safety of May, and don't you worry about that … 

The reptiles will do their duty, Polonius will stand firm against the ABC and indies, and the world will be made safe again, a point underlined by a caring Rowe this weekend, with more cartoons for the deeply troubled rich, defiant to the end, to be found here …