In which the pond ranges from Moorice to our Henry ...

Dammit, will the reptile pain never end?

Just as they've successfully saved Western Civilisation - by shipping it to Wollongong - along comes a bloody bird …

 

A bloody useless finch!

LAST-MINUTE REPORT? Well it's a completely meaningless step up from EXCLUSIVE.

Please, join the reptiles in chanting "kill the bird", or if you will, "kill the bloody bird", but a Bercow warning, anyone chanting "flip the bird" might well produce a brawl in the corridors of parliament …

Well, the pond could go there, but it won't because above all, the pond is loyal, and when anything attracts the attention of one of the world's greatest climate scientists, the pond will follow …

Now some might think that Moorice is stepping in prattling Polonius's hallowed ground - who but Polonius could expose the ABC? - but it should be remembered that Moorice cheerfully took his thirty pieces of silver from the broadcaster, and now has moved on ...

Okay, blind loyalty can produce dismal results. Why would anyone suggest that the solution to the ABC's problems is to merge it with SBS to produce an even bigger monolith, unless the whole point was to create a simpler target for demolition? 

Why would Moorice propose that there is nothing to prevent SBS becoming another channel, when in reality it would become four channels on the ABC's network of four channels, including the already swallowed NITV channel?

Why would Moorice expect anyone to be watching Kenny on Media? Sure, the dog botherer needs as much cross-promotion as he can get, but the pond would rather tear out its eyes, and then how could it read the next gobbet of Moorice?

Uh huh … and yet here's Moorice joining the dog botherer - just before Polonius turns up tomorrow - as part of the Murdochians ceaseless campaign against the ABC, while refusing to explain why the lot of them unfailingly align with gay bashing and climate science denialism and routinely scribble in rage against finches while sounding like the Catholic Boys' Daily …

Moorice might be coy about admitting to partiality, but surely it can be found in every word in his final gobbet ...

Indeed, indeed, the reality is that the ABC gets in the road of the Murdochians, rightly appointed to act as Pravda for the current federal government, at a tremendous cost to the business model …

Why, anyone wanting access to monolithic opinions should be expected to pay for the Murdochians, and pay handsomely. Nothing in life is free, and who wants an alternative to the reptiles, who have, after all, saved Western Civilisation by shipping it to Wollongong, and now are leading the chant of "Kill the bird, kill the bird …" when they're not chanting "bring back the boats, we need the boats" ...

Surely all this is worth a Pope cartoon, with more infallibility to be found here …

Moorice's little outburst came at a sublime moment while the pond was still treasuring a reptile squawk in yesterday's editorial …

This in the land of Moorice, the dog botherer, the bromancer and other peddlers of faux news? Oh it had to be rich, it had to be juicy, a howl of despair at the unholy suffering of the business model …

 

Actually the opaque paywalls of the Murdochian platforms incline people to huddle in information enclaves where views aren't tested by competing arguments or facts … and so climate science denialism and other forms of groupthink and disinformation can flourish.

Put it another way. If Google or such like are strip-mining journalism - and we all know how the reptiles hate mining - surely this means that the source of all the fake news is the Murdochians?

Here's hoping that the push for accountability is gathering pace, and the Murdochians feel they're under notice. Meanwhile, the pond has to plead guilty as charged. It irresponsibly disseminates on a daily basis assorted thought and hate crimes by the Murdochians. Why it's already featured Moorice, and that's enough to guarantee at least a thousand years in purgatory, or so the Catholic Boys' Daily advises …

And so to a final taste treat for the day …

Good old Henry. Thanks to Malware, under orders from the onion muncher, the current federal government has comprehensively fucked the notion of broadband in Australia, and is therefore in urgent need of distraction … so what better way to distract than to blame the current state of affairs on long lost chairman Rudd and Stephen "censor everything to earn the reptile editorialist's favour" Conroy…

And look, the hole in the bucket man has scored the Lobbecke of the day, ensuring cult status ...

Actually Malware managed to turn the NBN into such a FTTN dog's breakfast that its worth three fifths of fuck all …

One in 10 Australians connected to the National Broadband Network is not getting the speeds they are paying for, and some telecommunications services are so congested in the busy hours that a third of their customers are having this problem. The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission’s quarterly speed test found 13 per cent of services provided over the NBN by telcos were considered “underperforming” as they could not get the maximum speeds in the evening. Customers who are not getting the speeds they are paying for may be eligible for refunds. (here).

Yesterday, the pond was plagued by drop outs in the service, creating considerable peril for data while working online, but it was just another day on their NBN ...

Speaking of alternative forums, as the Oz editorialist was doing, that story could be found in Whirlpool's aggregation of Australian broadband news …

You might even find a story where reality is beginning to dawn, as in SBS's Federal Labor open to NBN write-down ...

New data from the company in charge of the nation's high-speed internet shows almost 160,000 people were left waiting in vain for a technician in the year from July 2017 to June 2018. What's perhaps stranger, NBN Co reported in March the number of missed appointments since July was just 80,000 - meaning it doubled in the final three months of the financial year. "Australians are reasonable and do not expect perfection - but they expect better than this," Ms Rowland told AAP on Monday. NBN Co also told a Senate committee customer satisfaction with its services dropped over the past two years, from a rating of 7.2 out of 10 in 2016 to 6.5 last year.

Oh yes, it's a grand FTTN turkey, and the pond never bothers to stand in line to report a drop-out - hours on the phone for nothing - yet what were the saps and suckers told?

In 2013, then opposition communications spokesman Malcolm Turnbull pledged to ditch Labor's fibre-to-the-premises national broadband network and replace it with a mix of technologies including upgraded copper wires and pay TV cables. Now, despite a blowout in the cost of his version of the NBN from $29.5 billion to $56 billion, he insists it is better than what Labor would have delivered. 'A mixed technology model is cheaper and faster and more efficient. That is beyond question,' Turnbull, now prime minister, told parliament last week. (here)

Cheaper, faster, more efficient? Kill the bird ...

Well the loon is long gone now, but his disaster lingers on, and it's left to good old 'hole in the bucket' Henry not to mention any of this ...

Actually, if the pond might be so bold, trying to pin it all on former chairman Rudd and Stephen Conroy means that bygones can't be forever bygones. 

The onion muncher, who did so much to destroy the NBN, still lurks in federal parliament and so do many of the other wretches who produced this train wreck … and the pond is determined to bemoan spilt milk, because with FTTN and the rest of the half-baked nonsense, it will take decades to sort out the mess, and at a totally unnecessary cost, and no amount of dissembling or forgetfulness will produce benefits from the waste of money the current mob undertook … but do go on, the pond isn't bitter ...

Ah, long gone is the dream of privatising a turkey … unless it's reduced to a bargain basement with fire sale pricing …

But you have to admire the shameless hubris of the mob that did so much to devalue the service, and now keep insisting there's gold in them thar FTTN hills ...

Admirable, really, in all that talk of hot air - yet not a single mention of Malware's mighty deeds and the current mob's responsibility for his monumental miscalculations …

What better way to end it then, but with a return to the wild-eyed dreaming celebrated by Rowe, with more Rowe here …

Have you seen our broadband policy captain? Broadband policy? Was it on a boat? And still the crab scuttles on the beach ...